Edge of Destruction
by invalid-reality
Summary: Four years since Faith and Buffy had last seen each other, a small string of events turns things around for both of them. Faith is fighting the darkness inside of her, on the edge of her own self-destruction and only Buffy can keep her from losing herself
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Just to be clear, yes I am the same author who is posting this same story on buffynfaith... :)

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The pale moonlight reflected off the puddles that lined the street. A young couple laughed as they walked down the middle of the road, hand and hand and oblivious to the world and the dangers that lurked in the darkness around them. Sirens could be heard off in the distance following a half a dozen shotgun blasts and the screams that mixed in with the wailing of the sirens of a mother mourning her son as he lay lifeless in the street with blood pooling around him.

"Yep, definitely home again," Faith sighed as she kept to the shadows as she walked down the street, her eyes never leaving the young couple a couple paces ahead of her.

It had been months since she'd come back to LA. Months that had felt like years. Each day blurred into the night as one, never able to tell one day from another. It was always the same. Nothing changed. Nothing ever would. She stopped in the shallow entrance to a bar that had long since closed and lit a cigarette with shaky hands. It was unusually cold and yet it wasn't the chill in the air that bothered her. It was what she felt inside that gave her chills.

The sirens faded as she continued walking down the nearly empty street. The young couple still strolled ahead of her, laughing as they whispered sweet nothings into each other's ears. She scoffed as she picked up the pace, hoping to get back to the sad excuse of a home she had just a few blocks away.

She stopped as she rounded the corner, seeing the one person she never thought she'd lay her eyes on ever again. She held her breath and stepped back, hoping to go unseen, unnoticed. It was like asking for the sun to disappear in the middle of the day and she only could roll her eyes as she found herself face to face with the one woman who had haunted her dreams in the four years it had been since she last saw her.

"What are you doing here?" Buffy asked, swaying slightly as she eyed Faith up and down. "Patrolling?"

"Something like that," she smirked as she took a long drag of her cigarette. "Drinking alone, B?"

"None of your business."

"Sure it is," Faith chuckled as she found herself backed up against the cool brick wall behind her. "You're all up in my face and if you weren't drunk you would have decked me by now."

"Huh," Buffy sighed out as she stumbled back, unable to keep still. "What are you doing here?"

"I live down there," Faith said as she motioned down the street to the small building on the far corner. "What are you doing here? Thought you were hanging out in Scotland with the Scoobs, fighting evil and what not?"

"Ugh," Buffy groaned as she held her stomach and closed her eyes. "Do not get me started on that."

"Needed to get away? Figured you come here, run into me, have a little one on one and go back to your perfect little life with your perfect friends and that perfect girlfriend of yours?"

"What girlfriend?"

Faith laughed as she walked over to Buffy and grabbed onto her arm before she stumbled to the ground. "Come on, I think you need to get some sleep. You're fucking piss drunk and I'm getting drunk off the fumes coming off of you."

"Let go of me."

"Whatever," Faith sighed as she let go of her and watched as she stumbled forward and fell to the ground.

"What are you doing here?" Buffy asked again, staring at her with blank yet confused eyes.

"Jesus," Faith said under her breath as she helped Buffy to her feet. "How much did you fucking drink tonight, B?"

"Does it even matter?"

"No."

"Good."

Faith debated for a moment whether just to leave her there in the streets or to take her home and put her into her bed to sleep it off. As much as she still hated her, she couldn't leave her out there, drunk and helpless and easy prey for the demons and the vamps that lurked behind every corner and in every other alley throughout the city. She wasn't cruel or completely heartless.

"Come on," Faith said softly as she flicked her cigarette into the street and slipped her arm around Buffy's waist. "You need to sleep it off somewhere safe."

Buffy just nodded, going a little limp as she leaned against Faith. The short walk to her apartment turned out to be a long one, Buffy stopping every couple of steps to look around and aimlessly and confused. She passed out by the time they reached Faith's apartment on the third floor and she struggled to keep Buffy standing while she fumbled inside her jacket for the keys.

With a heavy sigh she picked Buffy up and carried her inside, placing her on the couch gently and spent just a moment staring down at her before she walked into the kitchen and flipped on the lights. The fridge was empty, as it always was and the sink full of dirty, mouldy dishes that had been left there from the last time she'd been home. She grabbed a half empty bottle of Jacks, the phone and headed out to the balcony, lighting a cigarette as she leaned against the railing and hit the voicemail button.

"You have ten new messages. First unheard message..."

The first nine messages on the phone were from Giles, checking in as he always had done every once in awhile for the last four years. She unscrewed the cap and took a swig as the last message began to play.

"Faith, its Willow. I don't know if you're even home or if you'll get this before Buffy shows up there, but I wanted you to know she's coming to see you. Something happened between her and Satsu and she hasn't exactly been herself. You'll uh...you'll see what I mean when you see her. Call me back. Appreciate it if you would."

Faith took another swig and coughed a little as the warm liquid stung her throat. She heard Buffy mumbling in her sleep and she turned to look inside and found her curled up on the couch and hugging the worn throw pillow close to her. She shook her head, laughing at herself for even caring what Buffy was feeling, what she was going through and for even caring enough to bring her back here to sleep it off.

The world might not have changed, but she had. She was no longer the Faith she'd once been and she'd never be that Faith ever again.

New and improved didn't exactly fit the changes she had gone through, but it wasn't like it mattered. She was still there, alive and breathing, barely. Her heart still held a special spot in there for Buffy as it always had. Those feelings she once had for her, the feelings that weren't hate but weren't exactly what she'd call love either, were still there, stronger than ever. If one thing never did change it was the way she felt for Buffy.

Shrugging it off and out of her mind she walked back inside, flipped off the lights and walked to the bare, nearly empty bedroom. She placed the bottle of Jacks on the dresser and crawled into bed. With a yawn and a heavy sigh she closed her eyes as soon as her head hit the pillow. She'd deal with it in the morning, she'd deal with Buffy and the very high possibility she'd get her ass kicked by her as soon as she found out just where she was when she woke. All she wanted was a couple solid hours of sleep to clear her head and rest her tired body.

She hadn't dreamt in months and it wasn't any different this time. Another dreamless sleep, another restless sleep and when she woke, she found the warm sunlight poking through the cracks of the dusty blinds that covered the small window in the bedroom. Stretching out on the bed, her muscles aches and her bones and joints cracked rather loudly. Listening for signs that Buffy was awake and after hearing none, she got out of bed and walked into the kitchen. She had some coffee left, just barely enough for a pot and once she had it brewing she walked into the living room and sat down on the worn and sad looking armchair and watched Buffy as she slept.

"Oh god," Buffy moaned as she slowly opened her eyes and raised her hands to her head. "Where am I?"

"LA," Faith said softly as she tried to keep the smile from curling across her lips.

"Faith?"

"The one and only," she replied and watched as Buffy slowly sat up on the couch. "What are you doing here, B?"

"Can this whole conversation wait until I've had at least a cup of coffee?"

"Won't be ready for another ten minutes. Why don't you just tell me what you are doing here? I got a rather interesting message on my phone from Willow."

"Oh," she sighed as she closed her eyes and rubbed her temples slowly. "It's a long story."

"Let me guess," Faith smirked as she shifted in the chair and tried to get comfortable. "A long story you don't want to tell me, huh?"

"We're not friends," Buffy said blankly as she looked over at her. "We have never been friends. How come you are being so nice to me?"

Faith shrugged, finding it impossible to take her eyes off of her as they stared intensely at one another. "People change, right?"

"You never have."

"Let's say this time I have," Faith said as she smiled at her. "What happened to you and Satsu? Last I heard you two were getting all loved up and going all moon eyed over each other."

"Things change," Buffy chuckled softly, her gaze never leaving Faith's as she laid back down on the couch. "It's another one of those long stories."

"Got all the time in the world today."

"Let me ask you something," Buffy sighed as her smile faded. "Why do you care?"

"Why not?"

"Because you've never cared about anyone else but yourself. What changed?"

"We are not talking about me right now, B. We are talking about you and why you are here in LA and why I found you drunk in the streets last night."

"Satsu..."

"I guessed that. What happened? You two break it off for good this time?"

"Are you going to let me talk?" Buffy asked angrily as she sat back up and looked rather faint for a moment. "Damn, who knew drinking that much would make me feel worse than I'm dead?"

Faith chuckled softly as she stood up from the chair and walked into the kitchen. She found a clean mug, rinsed it out and poured a cup of coffee for Buffy. "I don't have any milk, or sugar."

"That's fine," she said softly as Faith walked back into the living room and placed the cup of coffee down on the coffee table in front of her. "Have you lived here long?"

"B? Weren't you gonna..."

"Right," she sighed and pulled the pillow to her lap and held it tightly. "We had a fight, like a huge fight. It's stupid really. She told me it was over because of my inability to fall in love with her."

"Weren't you two together for four years or something?"

"Yeah."

Faith reached for her jacket draped behind her and pulled out her nearly empty pack of cigarettes. "You mind?"

"It's your place," Buffy shrugged. "You want to die from lung cancer that is up to you."

"Not like you care, right?" Faith smirked, lighting the cigarette as she leaned back in the chair. "So, how come you came to LA then? Cos that part and the part where you came to see me is what I really do not understand."

Buffy sighed loudly as she picked up the cup of coffee and sipped it slowly. Faith tried to take her eyes off of her but, just as it had been in the past she found it next to impossible to. Her mind was reeling with a million thoughts, the lascivious ones overtaking the rest. She might have changed, but a lot of things really didn't.

"I had to get away. It was just too much."

"So you figured you come here, find me and maybe kick my ass and go back feeling all high and mighty and recharged?"

"No."

"No?" Faith smirked as she rolled her eyes. "I don't believe it for a second."

"If it makes you feel any better I had no intention of kicking your ass."

"A little bit."

"I know we were never friends and I needed to get away for a little while. I didn't expect you to understand or actually be sitting here talking to me right now the way you are. Like you said, people change right?"

Faith nodded and took a drag of her cigarette and looked around the room for the ashtray she knew was there somewhere. She stood up and walked over to the small empty desk and picked it up, sighing as she stood there and stared down at the cigarette between her fingers. Her body was buzzing, more so than it normally had whenever she was around Buffy and she had to wonder if Buffy felt it too. It was just one of those things they never talked about. Just like they never talked this way before, not with this many words and so much openness.

She turned to look over at Buffy and saw she was crying, doing nothing to stop the tears or hide them from her. She fought the urge to walk over there and sit down next to her and hold her in her arms. That wasn't who she was, that wasn't who she'd ever be.

"God, my head is pounding."

"Must been all that liquor you drank last night," Faith said with a soft smile as she walked back to the chair and sat down. "You never drink, B. Things must have been really rough and hard to deal with, huh?"

"You have no idea."

"Probably not. You know me, never been in any committed relationships for more than just a night."

"Don't you want to be though?"

"Nah," Faith shook her head. "The less commitment there is the easier it is for me."

"You think it's easier that way, Faith? Have you ever loved anyone before? Let anyone love you?"

"No," she lied. "Never."

"Liar."

"Maybe I did love someone a long time ago. It's in the past. Never gonna happen. I've moved on."

"Who was it?"

"Yeah right, like I'd tell you."

She never would either. Their history was already rough enough as it was and telling Buffy that she had loved her and still probably did just a little would destroy all hope for something between the line of enemies and almost friendship she could feel that was still lingering there. Buffy finished her coffee in silence, her eyes never leaving Faith's even for a moment.

Feeling uncomfortable under the powerful gaze, Faith got up and walked into the kitchen and turned on the water in the sink, filling it while she searched for the dish soap. She groaned as she stared at the dirty, mouldy dishes in the water, feeling disgusted but not because of what her eyes were falling upon. She felt disgusted with herself. The walls she'd spent years reinforcing around her to keep everyone and Buffy out had crumbled without her even realizing it. She gripped the edge of the counter, watching as he knuckles went white from the force and she closed her eyes, trying to regain some sort of self control over her thoughts and emotions.

"I should go," Buffy said softly as she stood a few feet behind her. "Sorry for coming here like this."

"No problem, B. You needed to get away. I get that."

"I've been here for a week," she said slowly as she walked up to her and placed the now empty mug on the counter next to the sink. "Every night I came here hoping you'd be home. I didn't drink anything until last night."

"Good to know."

"Where were you, Faith?"

"Why do you fucking care?"

"Forget it then," she sighed out heavily as she backed away from her. "You know, this is why we can't ever be friends. You push me out."

"It's either that or you're kicking my ass. So, when you gonna start with that?"

"Faith..."

"Forget it," she groaned as she turned to look at her. "We can't ever be friends for a lot of reasons. Our history is fucked up. You and I both know that."

"That's one reason," Buffy said with a small smile. "What are the others?"

"Weren't you leaving?"

"Fine," she rolled her eyes as she headed for the door. "You know, I try to talk to you like a friend, I try to let you in my life and you do nothing but push me away every time. Why do you do that?"

"It's what I do."

"This coming from the one who said she's changed. You haven't changed, Faith. You haven't at all."

"Whatever."

She couldn't bring herself to look at Buffy one last time before she left, slamming the door so hard behind her the wood frame splintered under the force. Faith picked up the mug she'd drank from and threw it into the empty side of the sink. Just like it always been in the past she was left feeling confused and full of emotions she always had a hard time pushing down deep inside of her. She pulled the plug in the sink and grabbed her jacket and her keys and left. She couldn't stay there, not when all she could smell was Buffy and all she could still feel was her presence.

Again she found herself running from her life. This time she knew she'd run where she couldn't be found. She'd run to a place where nobody knew who she was, where she'd just be another nameless face lurking in the shadows at night and keeping to herself during the day. It wasn't much of a life, but it was all she'd ever known.

It was early, but she found a bar that was open and opened the door. A few of the patrons groaned at the sudden burst of sunlight and sighed in relief as she quickly closed the door behind her. It was dark, damp and seedy. Just the place that felt like home to her when no other place ever did. She strolled up to the bar, flashing a dimpled grin at the bartender as she sat down on the dirty stool at the far end of the bar.

"What can I get ya?"

"Jack, on the rocks."

"No ice."

"Straight then," she sighed out as she tapped her fingers on the worn wood and waited.

Her slayer senses were buzzing wildly out of control and she glanced around the small room, her eyes falling upon a few vampires hanging out in the far corner, whispering quietly as they stared right back at her. She turned her back to them, not wanting a fight and picked up the glass of whiskey the bartender placed down in front of her and gave him a small smile. He frowned at her, crossing his arms as he stared over at her.

"Seven dollars."

"Can't you just start a tab for me?"

"We don't do that here. Seven dollars."

Faith groaned as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a couple of bills and slid them across the counter. She took a sip of her drink and sighed heavily, wanting to run, wanting to stay. She didn't know what the hell she wanted. That run-in with Buffy had completely screwed up her head. She remembered why she took off in the first place. Being around Buffy wasn't good for her. It never was and it never would be.

"Why did I ever have to go and fall in love with her?" Faith whispered to herself as she stared down at the warm amber liquid in the glass that looked like it hadn't been washed. "Fuck."

The minutes and hours passed by slowly and with every drink she had, she hoped she could just forget about everything, forget about Buffy and forget about her life. It didn't quite work that way. With every drink she downed she thought more and more about her. She stood up from the stool, laughing as she stumbled on her way to the bathroom at the back. The group of vampires that she'd seen there when she first came in were still there, still watching her and she grinned at them as she reached for the handle and opened the door.

Making sure she locked the door behind her, she took in a few deep breaths of the stale air and walked over to the sink. She placed both her hands on the edges of the sink as she stared into the dusty, cracked mirror. She was a mess, a drunken mess. She heard someone cough in one of the stalls and that's when she felt it. The ever familiar buzz she always felt when Buffy was around.

"B?"

"What?"

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"It's a bar, Faith."

"I knew that. Didn't see you come in."

Buffy opened the door and stepped out of the stall, shrugging as she looked her up and down. "Came in an hour ago. You were too busy talking to your drink to notice."

"Huh."

"Looks like it's a role reversal from last night," Buffy smirked as she walked over to the sink and turned on the tap. "You okay?"

"Does it look like I'm okay? Of course I'm okay. I'm fucking peachy, B."

"And drunk."

"Who the fuck cares?" Faith groaned as she fumbled with the lock on the door.

"I know I've got my own reasons for wanting to drown my sorrows, but what are yours?"

"You," she whispered so softly she wasn't sure if she'd thought it or said it out loud.

"Me?"

"Forget it, B. I'm out of here."

"No," she said as she reached out and touched Faith lightly on her arm. "Look, I know things are completely messed up right now. For both of us. But I did come back here to try to make things right between us."

"Why?"

"Because," Buffy sighed out in frustration. "You never did get it, did you?"

"Get what?"

"I know how you feel about me. I've always known."

"And?"

"I know why you keep running, why you keep pushing me away."

"Your point? It is coming, isn't it?"

"Why do you love me?"

"What?"

"Why do you love me, Faith? I tried to kill you."

"Hey, I tried to kill you too. Several times. Guess we're kind of even. And just for the record, B. I do not love you," Faith said as she managed to unlock the door and opened it. "Love to hate you, maybe, but that's about it."

"Keep doing that, Faith. Keep telling yourself if that is how you can deal with it."

"Right," she laughed as she headed back to the bar and motioned for the bartender to pour her another drink. The hair on the back of her neck stood up as she felt Buffy walk up behind her. "Do yourself a favour, B. Just leave me alone, alright? Go back to Scotland. You don't belong here."

Buffy moved, about to say something and closed her mouth, sighing as she headed for the door. Faith glanced at her as she shook her head and walked outside, disappearing with the crowd of people walking out in the streets. She waved her glass at the bartender and he laughed as he brought the bottle over to her.

"Take the bottle," he said and looked over at the group of vampires as they slowly approached her. "We're closing early tonight."

"Fine by me," Faith said as she unscrewed the cap and brought the bottle to her lips.

"And by early I mean now."

"Got it man," Faith laughed as she stood up from the stool and walked right into what she suspected to be the leader of the group of vampires. "Watch it!"

"Come with us," he whispered as he grabbed onto her arm, passing a glance over her shoulder at the bartender. "Now, Slayer."

"Watch the goods," Faith laughed as she shoved him off of her.

They led her to a back room, all seven of them surrounding her. The room was spinning and she groaned as she took a swig of the whiskey and stared at all of them. They were whispering quietly, observing her as she stood there swaying drunkenly. She couldn't understand a word they were saying and fumbled with the pack of cigarettes in her pocket.

"Uh uh," the tall blond haired one said as he shook his head at her. "Nasty, disgusting habit."

"Who are you, my mother?"

"No," he chuckled. "I am Edward."

"Like that fucking vampire in those stupid ass novels?"

"You read?"

Faith laughed as she narrowed her eyes at him. "No. Kind of hard to escape the newest, popular fad."

"We have been looking for you and for the other one," he said as he ignored her. "Funny how we found you and the other one came and left."

"What's your deal, Blondie?"

"Edward," he chuckled.

"Edward," Faith mocked as she rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Do you want to challenge me or something?"

"No, no challenge. You are in no fit state to take us all on anyway. I was thinking more along the lines of making you one of us."

"Fuck that."

"Such spunk and attitude," he chuckled as he looked at the others. "What is your name, Slayer?"

"Fuck you."

"Ah," Edward tittered as he grabbed onto her by her shoulders. "Such disrespect. Hold still now, Slayer. It'll be quick and perfectly painless. At first."

Faith took in a few sharp breaths, trying to clear the drunken haze her mind was in. She struggled to get out of his grasp and found he was stronger than any vamp and any demon she'd ever faced before. She watched him as his fangs slid out, surprised she didn't see the usual bumps and deformations like with the other vampires she was used to. He chuckled as he stroked her hair away from her face and leaned in until his lips brushed against her ear.

"You've never seen our kind before. We are a new breed and with you, we're taking it one step further. The power of a slayer and a vampire in one. We'll be invincible to the likes of people like yourself."

"Do you..."

"What was that?"

"Do you have a soul?"

"Very much so," he smiled down at her as he ran his surprisingly warm fingers over her neck. "As will you as soon as I'm done with you."

"Faith..." she whispered out as she closed her eyes.

"Come again?"

"My name...is Faith."

Edward chuckled as he glanced up at the others for a moment before looking back down at her. "Beautiful name for a beautiful girl with a nasty attitude."

She closed her eyes again, holding back her tears as she felt his fangs pierce her skin. She didn't bother to struggle. What was she to fight for? Her nothing and pathetic and lonely life? Unable to hold her tears back much longer, she let them fall as she felt her body grow limp and weaker by the second. The last sound she heard was the bottle of whiskey she held in her hands falling to the floor and shattering. Shattering just like her life had shattered in that moment.

Never had a dreamless sleep felt so comforting and so fearful all at once. When she woke, she found herself lying in a cold, dark room. Blinking a couple of times, she let her eyes adjust to the dark, pleasantly surprised at the little details she could now see. Her heart didn't beat, but she felt her powerful blood surging and coursing its way through her body faster and more precise than it had before.

"Ah, she wakes," Edward said softly as he rose from the chair he'd been sitting in. "Hungry?"

"Very," Faith half whispered, half moaned out. "Absolutely starving."

The lights overhead turned on as the door opened and a young woman, about her own age was pushed inside. She licked her lips, able to smell her fresh blood and her fear as Edward grabbed onto her and dragged her across the floor. With an atrocious smile curling across her lips, she grabbed onto the girl and stared into her eyes. For a moment she thought of Buffy. The girl had similar features but not quite.

"It won't hurt," Faith whispered as she held the girl to her. "Maybe it will, for a moment."

As if it was the most natural thing in the world for her, she felt her fangs slide out as she inhaled the fresh scent emanating off the girl she held onto tightly. She licked across her pulse point, feeling all her new senses come to life, igniting a fire that burned deep inside of her. Edward stood back, smiling proudly at her as she sunk her new fangs into the soft, warm, delicious skin. And with that first drop, she could feel the power increasing inside of her, but it wasn't quite enough.

Until she had tasted the last drop, she didn't want to stop. She breathed in deeply, licking the excess blood from her lips as she dropped the dead, lifeless body of the girl to the floor. Her veins felt as if they were on fire, her body craving more. With a smile, she opened her eyes and looked over at Edward.

"Enjoy?"

"Delicious."

"Now," he said quietly as he reached out for her hand. "I've a favour to ask of you."

"What's that?"

"The other slayer, the blond one. You are to find her and turn her just as I've turned you. Once that task is complete, you will find the others."

"Of course," Faith chuckled as she smoothed out her shirt. "Anything for you, Eddie boy."

"Edward."

"Edward," she said as she rolled her eyes. "Sorry."

"Now, before I send you off, there are a few little minor details you need to know."

"I feel so powerful, dead yet so alive."

"As you are, you are very powerful my dear Faith. You still have the blood of a slayer coursing through your body. Come now, we've much to talk about."

There was indeed much to talk about and she could feel only the faintest bit of her soul inside of her and she could feel the slayer inside of her, cursing at her for ever allowing this to happen. It was impossible to ignore the feelings she still felt inside and the overwhelming surge of new ones slowly overtaking the old.

"You are on the eve of your new life, my dear Faith," Edward said gently as he led her out of the room. "It will all be very new and exciting and yet, you must remember one thing."

"What's that?"

"We are not like the others," he said with a smile. "Always remember that. Never associate with their kind. We must keep ourselves distanced from the humans and from the other, less worthy immortals."

Faith smiled, feeling her skin tingle with a new kind of life, a new power with every unneeded breath she took. She was intrigued to learn the things he wanted to teach her, to tell her and yet, just that tiny part of her inside her soul begged her and pleaded with her to get out of there while she could even though it was far too late.

Everything was always far too late or it never came. One of life's disappointments and one she'd always been used to. Never again though, not with a new life upon her and a new power she never felt before. This time around, things were going to be different and this time she'd get what she always wanted in her heart one way or another.


	2. Chapter 2

Everything looked, felt even tasted different to her now. Edward waited until the harshest light of day began to fade before he took her outside. At the first request from him to remove her shoes as they walked across the yard, she looked at him like he was completely insane. But then she felt it.

She could feel the earth beneath her, breathing as if it were alive. With a coy smile, she removed her boots and her socks, one with a hole in the toe that had been driving her crazy. As she stood there, feeling the grass and the dirt under her feet, she closed her eyes and just felt. The earth beneath her was most definitely alive and she could not only feel, but hear everything that crawled and slinked its way through the earth.

"Do you feel that?"

"I do," Faith smiled at Edward. "I feel it breathing as if it is breathing and living for me."

"You are a part of the earth, in more ways than one, my dear Faith."

"It is exhilarating."

"Tell me," he said excitedly as he stood next to her and placed a solitary hand on her shoulder. "What else do you feel? What else do you hear, taste, and most importantly, what do you see?"

She closed her eyes, listening carefully. She could hear more than she ever could before. The first sound she heard was the wind whistling a whispering song of hope for a peaceful night. The insects buzzing, mating all around her, even ones that weren't visible to the naked eye. She focused a little harder and could hear voices of people around her, some miles away. She stifled a laugh as she could hear a couple fighting, doors slamming as the woman accused the man of sleeping with the old lady that lived above them.

"What is so funny?" Edward asked his curiosity piqued as he stared at her, waiting for her response.

Faith held up her hand, catching the tail end of the argument and opened her eyes, chuckling under her breath as she shook her head. She calmed herself as she shook the voices and the noises from her head and focused on what she could feel. She could feel the darkness of night approaching, the coldness that came with it. She could feel the emotions of the people she had just heard. Edward squeezed her shoulder lightly and she opened her eyes, unaware she'd been crying until he reached out and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"You feel the emotions of a thousand souls, don't you not?"

"I do."

"It'll take some time to learn to control them, to block them out from your own. Go on. Tell me what you can taste."

"I can taste life," she whispered. "Pure life and the undead. There's something else."

"A mixture of both," he said and she only nodded. "Now, open your eyes, my dear Faith and tell me all you can see."

What she could see was _everything_. The colours around her were intensified and she could see the fine particles of air as they floated and danced with every gentle breeze that blew past her. She could see the rays of sunlight even as they poked through the clouds that rolled in overhead. She looked up above, through the only patch of blue sky left and she could faintly see the stars. Lastly she looked at Edward but not like before. She saw his soul surrounding his body and as she stared into his eyes, she could see his life, his past and feel what he felt.

"Stop," he sighed as he quickly broke their gaze. "How does it feel?"

"Exhilarating doesn't cover it. I don't think there are any words to describe what I am feeling right now."

"These feelings, powers, can be used in various ways. You must learn to control them and not abuse them."

"How can I do that?"

"With patience."

Faith sighed out loudly as she bent down and picked up her boots. "I don't have much patience."

"Another thing you'll have plenty of time to learn," he smiled as he led her back to the house. "You have all the time in the world now, my dear Faith. An eternity."

"Sounds kind of..."

"What?"

"Lonely."

"Aren't you used to being lonely?"

"Well yeah, but..."

"I told you. I needed a favour. You are to find the other Slayer and make her one of us."

"And if I don't?"

"You," Edward growled as he grabbed onto her arm. "You have no choice. I gave you life, a new life beyond your wildest imaginations, beyond your dreams. Do not be so disrespectful and ungrateful, my dear Faith."

"Whatever," she groaned as she pushed him away from her. "I didn't ask for this."

"But you did. You do not remember, do you?"

"When did I ever ask to become a vampire?"

"It wasn't what you asked to become, it was change you asked for and hoped for and failed miserably each and every time you had tried to achieve it on your own."

Faith sighed as she turned to face him. "But I still didn't ask for this."

"We chose you," he smiled as he licked his lips. "We chose you for many reasons, some of which we aren't really too sure of."

"High and mighty Edward doesn't have all the answers this time. What a shock."

"You watch your mouth around me," he snarled as he grabbed onto her again and pushed her against the closed door. "Never disrespect your maker."

"That what you are?"

"Again with the attitude. I see it is still intact even without the nasty, pungent alcohol in you."

Faith bit her tongue, not wanting to anger him further and let him lean in close as he reached for the doorknob. She closed her eyes, shivering slightly as she felt his own power passing between them at the slightest touch. She couldn't place just why she felt so obedient to him and she dared not to ask.

"Now, come on. We've still got plenty to talk about. There are still many things you need to know. It is important you pay attention and keep your attitude where it belongs, to yourself."

She felt her fangs slide out and he smirked as he tightened his grip on her arm. She groaned as she felt the sting of his grip ever so slightly and smiled as she ran her tongue gently over her sharp fangs. "Easy there, tiger."

"Edward," he said flatly as he pulled her into the large study and forced her to sit on the leather chair precariously placed in front of the large desk. "First things first. I need you to tell me everything you can about the other slayer and the people she surrounds herself. I want to know what it is they are doing over in Scotland."

"I don't know..."

"You do," he smirked as he walked around to the other side of the desk and sat down. "I do know a few things about you, my dear Faith."

"Cut it out with the 'my dear Faith' crap. It is kind of creeping me out."

"What do you suggest I call you then?"

"Faith is fine."

"Right," he chuckled as he sat back in the chair and propped his feet up on the desk. He grinned as he folded his hands over his lap and stared at her. "You want to know the things I know about you, Faith?"

"Nobody knows me."

"That's where you are wrong."

"Really?"

"Yes," Edward smiled, dropping his feet from the desk as he leaned forward and beckoned for her to lean in closer. "I know everything about you. I tasted it when I drained you. The feelings, the emotions, the hate and love and your past. It was sad, really."

"Sad? What are you going to pity me now?"

"No, I rather envy you in some ways."

"Explain."

"The other one," he said slowly as he leaned back in his chair. "You feel something for her you've never felt for anyone else. I know one thing too. I know she feels something for you too."

"Yeah, she either wants to be my friend or she wants to kill me. Depends on the day," Faith laughed as she stretched her arms out above her, sighing in relief as her stiff muscles loosened some. "That's all she feels for me, Eddie..."

"Edward."

"Why can't I call you Eddie?"

"Because I said so."

"Fine. Anyway, she doesn't feel anything for me. I gave up all hope on that the minute I found out she wasn't driving stick anymore and found herself a pretty little Asian chick to get horizontal with from time to time."

"Jealousy. Such a cruel and painful human emotion. She must be worth every ounce of it."

"No, she's not."

"Hmm?"

"Do we have to talk about this?"

"Of course we do."

"Thought you were gonna tell me things I need to know?"

"When you are ready."

"When is that gonna be, huh?"

"When you lose the attitude and begin to embrace who you now are, what you now are."

Faith sat back and closed her eyes, blocking off every one of her senses that she could. The only thing she couldn't block out was the distant hum deep in her stomach, the hum she always felt whether Buffy was near or not. It was their slayer connection that let her know she was still alive and out there, somewhere, fighting without her. Edward was speaking to her, but she drowned him out. The only voice she heard was faint and the words weren't clear.

Her temples were throbbing as she opened her eyes, staring at Edward as he looked over at her, displeased she was ignoring him. That's when she felt it, the faint beating of her heart and she placed a hand over her chest and looked over at him, confused.

"What's with the whole alive thing?"

"I was trying to explain, but you sat there and plainly ignored me like the ignorant bitch you are," Edward replied angrily. He stood up and paced around behind the desk before he turned to her and placed both his hands down on the solid wood, it creaking under the brute strength he forced upon it. "You are not just a vampire, Faith. You are still human in the slightest little ways."

"So, if I am still human does that mean you are too?"

"No."

"Huh. Let me get this straight here. I am like you and the others that are 'family' yet I'm not because I'm still a slayer and still human. Edward, that makes no fucking sense!"

"Nobody ever said it had to make any sense," he grinned as he reached out and traced his fingers over her jaw lightly. "You've no idea how long we have waited to bring one of you into our world. This sort of thing has never once been done before. You are your own kind, yet you are still one of us and still one of them."

"One of them? You mean human?"

"Yes. Stay with me here," Edward sighed as he sat back down in his chair. "To think I thought the blond haired one would have been harder to get to understand these things."

"You calling me dumb?"

"No. Your attention span," he laughed as he waved his hand around in the air. "It's all over the place. Now focus. That is the first step in having patience."

"Focusing..."

"Faith!"

"What?"

"Shut your mouth."

With a heavy sigh, Faith sat there and listened. She tried not to anger him further. It wasn't worth it. Every time his blood boiled, she could feel it in herself as well. It was a nasty, evil anger, one that reminded her of the way she'd been before. She had to get out of there, away from Edward and the others. She caught glimpse of what laid between the words he spoke. He wanted her nothing more than for a tool to create an almost invincible breed of vampire. It wasn't until he showed her to the room she'd stay in that she stared at herself in the reflection in the mirror hanging next to the door that she realized how stupid she was for letting this happen.

"That's all you are, Faith. A fucking fool. An idiot. No wonder nobody ever wanted anything to do with you," she said to herself. She was disgusted, angry and unable to contain her own emotions and the ones she felt all around her, she slammed her fist into the mirror, watching as the pieces fell to the floor.

She needed to get out of there. There was no way she was sticking around to do his bidding, to act as a slave. That was never who she was and that was one thing she'd never be. Her life had always been hers. No rules, nobody to answer to but herself. She was going to take it back even if it meant taking out Edward and the other six. She stood there, clutching her hand that bled for only a minute as she connected her soul with the slayer inside of her.

Faith had power, more than she knew what to do with, but she also had control. She had to do the right thing this time, no matter how tempting falling into the darkness was. This was her chance to reform herself once again and she was damned if she was going to let this chance slip through her fingers.

"Eddie boy," she said to herself under her breath as she stared at the broken shards of glass on the floor. "You are going down. Tonight."

****

Buffy couldn't feel her anymore. She hadn't in the two days it had been since she left her there drunk and alone in the seedy bar in downtown LA. A part of her was glad she couldn't, it was one less thing she had to worry about. Another part of her, a stronger bigger part, felt guilty and lost. Alone.

"Buffy?" Willow said softly as she knocked on the door to her room. "When did you get back?"

"Couple of hours ago."

"Oh," Willow frowned as she walked in the room and sat down on the bed. "Nobody said anything about you being back. Guess I've been a little out of it lately."

"Guess so."

"Did you see Faith?"

"I did."

"And?"

"And what, Will? It was Faith. She pushed me out just like she always has."

"I told you that would happen."

Buffy sighed as she walked over to the window, looking out as the rain splattered against the window. "I don't even know why I went there."

"Want my opinion?"

"Not really."

"I'm going to give it to you anyway," Willow said as she walked up to her and stood there next to her. "You went there to see her because you needed to get away from us, from Satsu. You needed to feel something else and whatever it is Faith makes you feel..."

"She makes me feel nothing," Buffy said with a heavy sigh. "She doesn't make me feel anything, Will."

"That why you went there? To feel nothing? Couldn't you have done that here?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

"Will..."

"I get it okay. You are heartbroken over what happened between you and Satsu. Anyone can understand that..."

"Being heartbroken would mean having loved her. I loved her don't get me wrong about that. I just wasn't _in_ love with her."

"Why is that, do you know?"

"If I had the faintest idea, don't you think I would have figured that out by now?"

Willow sighed as she tried to get Buffy to look at her. "Something else is bothering you, isn't it?"

"I can't feel her anymore, Will."

"Who?"

"Faith."

"Do you think..."

"I think so."

"Wow," Willow breathed out as she shook her head. "You really think she's dead?"

"What else would explain why I can't feel her like I've always been able to?" Buffy asked her voice emotionless as she continued to stare out the window and watched as the clouds in the sky grew darker with each passing second. "I feel so guilty."

"Why? It isn't your fault she died."

"It kind of is. I left her there, drunk out of her mind with a group of vamps eyeing her like she was their next meal. I could have dragged her out of there, saved her and yet, I didn't."

"Maybe she isn't dead?" Willow said as she offered a little hope. "Maybe she just disappeared?"

"No. She didn't just disappear, Will. It doesn't quite work like that."

"Have you talked to Giles?"

"Can't reach him. Besides, with this storm that's been raging since I got back, the phones are dead."

"I could teleport you..."

"No," Buffy stopped her as she stepped away from the window. "In a way I don't want him to know. He's already got a lot on his hands over in Cleveland and one more thing to worry about..."

"That thing being Faith is dead..."

"Or worse."

"Worse?"

"It's stupid," Buffy laughed as she walked over to the bed and pulled out the suitcase she had stashed underneath it. "Those vampires I saw there. I've never seen ones like them before. Never felt ones like them before. They were...different. Powerful."

"So you think maybe they turned her?"

"I told you it was stupid," Buffy said as she shook her head and walked over to the dresser and began pulling out her clothes she'd just unpacked a couple of hours before.

"What are you doing, Buffy?"

"I don't want to stay here anymore."

Willow sighed as she stopped her and wrapped her arms around her in a tight embrace. "Don't leave, Buffy. What are we going to do here without you?"

"You'll manage. You got Satsu and the other slayers. You got Dawn, Xander and Kennedy."

"But we need _you_, Buffy."

She shook her head no as she pulled away from Willow. "No, you just think you need me. I just need some time to myself right now. I need to get away. I'm starting to understand why Faith took off before."

"So you are going to just run away from everything, from your responsibilities here and just do what, go lie on a beach somewhere and sip margaritas all day?"

Buffy smiled a little at that, shrugging as she walked back to the dresser and pulled out the rest of her clothes. "Sounds like a good plan, Will."

"That's it then, Buffy? You're just going to give up, run away and disappear?"

"Not forever," she said as she placed the folded clothes into the suitcase. "Just for a little while."

"But you just got back..."

"I know, Will. Going to LA was a mistake. It wasn't the escape I needed. I thought it was, but it was nothing but a mistake. When I end up wherever I am going, I'll call you to let you know I'm okay. Just promise me you won't say a word to the others?"

"I promise. Can I tell Kennedy?"

"No," Buffy sighed as she closed her suitcase. The only sound now in the room was the harsh scraping of the metal zipper as she zipped it shut. "Not even Kennedy."

She left then, leaving Willow standing there upset and a little dumbstruck and more than a little confused at her actions and at her words. She never expected any of them to understand and the one person she knew that could, wouldn't let her in. It was too late now. Faith was gone. She felt it with every inch of her being and it was slowly destroying her inside.

Avoiding everyone she knew was still awake in the castle she made her way outside and climbed into the cab she'd called almost an hour earlier. The only words she spoke to the driver was to take her to the airport and she sat back in the seat and stared out the window, her tears mirroring the raindrops that fell upon the tinted glass. It wasn't until she closed her eyes and saw nothing but Faith staring back at her that she knew.

Faith made her feel everything. Hate, love and all the little emotions that came in between. She knew then why she could never love Satsu the way she had loved her. Her heart and soul belonged to Faith and that was who it always had and always would belong to. In both life and in death.

****

They hadn't expected her to come in the middle of the night. She saved Edward for last, approaching the master bedroom as quietly as she could. Stake in hand, she opened the door slowly, the hinges creaking ever so softly under the weight of the heavy wooden door. The others had been easy, in and out of their rooms within seconds and leaving nothing but a pile of dust on the beds.

"Faith, what are you..."

"Shh," she whispered as she crawled onto the bed, smiling at Edward as she straddled his hips and pointed the stake over his heart. "I should thank you for giving me a new life, but I am not thankful. You've ruined my life, Eddie boy. Ruined everything I'd worked for, failing at it or not, I was learning how to not fail."

"You're going to kill me?"

"What do you think?"

"You've gotten the others already, haven't you?" Edward asked, not a hint of fear in his voice, but she could see it in his eyes and his very soul. "I was wrong about you."

"Everyone usually is."

"That's it then? Is that all you have to say?"

"I've said too much," she smirked as she leaned down and breathed against his lips. "Any last words?"

"Nothing I'd waste my breath on."

"You know," she grinned almost salaciously as she leaned back and ran the sharp tip of her stake over his smooth muscled chest. "You did do one thing for me."

"And that was?"

"You gave me the gift, the power, to see the world in a different light. Uh uh," she tittered as he tried to move. "Be a good boy and stay."

Edward shuddered as she pressed the tip of the stake into his skin, watching and becoming almost mesmerized as she watched the blood trickle from the small wound. Just at the sight of blood, undrinkable nonetheless, caused her body to fire up and crave it with every inch of her being. She used what human was left in her to fight the urges and to fight the darkness that threatened to take over her soul.

The fear in him was more visible. She could taste it now and it made her shudder under the sheer power she felt in that moment as she held his very life in her hands, or more precisely, at the tip of the stake she had poised over his heart. Without any more useless words to be spoken, she plunged the stake into him and sighed out as she watched him crumble into nothing but dust.

Her life was in her hands once again and as her heart raced with the power that ran through her veins, she craved a taste of what she had when she first woke. It was a craving unlike anything she'd ever had before and she knew, in order to survive, it was a craving she had to satisfy. And soon.

The night was her cloak against the rest of the world, against herself. The streets were nearly empty as she walked down them, hands in the pockets of her jeans and her eyes staring at the worn asphalt beneath her worn, heavy boots. She rounded the corner, her apartment building in view just a hundred yards away. She wasn't going to stay there long. She couldn't. It was only just another place to call home and it never once felt like it. No, she needed to go back to where she had always felt she belonged.

"Kind of late for a pretty young thing like you to be out walking the streets alone," a lone vampire said as he stepped out of the shadows and stood in front of her. "You know it isn't safe our here so late."

"I know," Faith grinned as she reached into the inner pocket of her jacket. "It isn't safe out here for you."

"Ah," he sighed out nervously as he backed away from her. "I wasn't looking for trouble."

"Oh yeah?"

"Honestly. I heard you were with Edward."

"Not anymore."

"I wanted to pass a message on," he said flatly as his eyes darted around the empty streets as if he was waiting to be caught talking to her. "From Angel."

The vampire handed a small package to her and quickly darted away, disappearing in the darkness of the closest alley. Faith stared down at the small package in her hands; her name faintly written on it in the impressive, fancy cursive writing she knew was Angel's. Taking in a deep breath she walked the rest of the way to her apartment, clutching onto the package to the point where she thought it would crumble in her hands. The door to her apartment was still broken and she kicked it open and shut it tightly behind her.

Inside the package was her passport and her ID that he had taken from her a short while after she'd taken off for over a year to keep her from running off and disappearing again. She chuckled as she turned on a light and sat down on the couch. This time she wouldn't run to disappear. This time she'd go to where she knew she needed to go. Without wasting another minute, she packed what little clothes she had into one bag and headed for the closest bus station.

****

Darkness had fallen almost an hour before the bus reached the small, dingy bus station just outside of Cleveland. Faith only sighed as the fat, balding bus driver turned to look at her, motioning for her to get off the bus. With a roll of her eyes, she grabbed her heavy duffle bag sitting on the seat next to her and stood up.

"Last stop, miss."

"I see that."

"It's not safe out here in the dark," he said with kind gentleness in his voice that made her cringe. "All kinds of predators out there at this time at night."

"Not worried," she replied as she made her way to the front of the bus. "It's me they should be worried about."

"If you say so," he shrugged as he opened the doors and watched as she walked down the steps slowly. "Take care of yourself miss. Don't want to wake up in the morning to find you've become another statistic."

With a laugh, she shook her head and winked as she smiled wickedly at him. The driver shuddered as he closed the doors and sped off, leaving her standing there under the streetlight with a grin curling over her lips as she watched the bus disappear down the long, dark road.

"Idiot," she muttered under her breath as she walked over to the phone booth across the empty parking lot. She slid in a quarter and dialled a number she'd never forget and waited.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Giles."

"Faith?"

"The one and only," she laughed as she ran her fingers over the dust glass in front of her and listened to him breathe a little shakily. "Surprised to hear from me?"

"Surprised doesn't begin to cover it," he replied finally, laughing as she heard him place what she could only assume was a cup of tea down on a table. "I thought when you disappeared you were gone for good."

"You know me," she laughed wryly as she leaned against the glass and smirked to herself. "I like to get away for a little while. Cut all ties loose and just live free."

"It's been four years since I've heard from you. It was pure luck Angel gave me your contact info to get in touch with you. All those phone calls throughout the years and you couldn't once..."

"Has it been that long already?" Faith chuckled as she cut him off. "Time sure flies when you're out having fun, you know?"

"Where are you?"

"Some dingy piece of shit bus station just outside of town."

"You are in Cleveland?"

"What, you think I'd place a phone call if I wasn't in town? How do you feel about having an extra houseguest for awhile, Giles? I've been on a bus for two days and I could use a decent place to stay for the night."

"You disappeared without a single word. As far as I've been concerned you were dead in a ditch somewhere."

"Would be a lot easier if I was, wouldn't it?"

"I'll come pick you up," Giles said finally with a heavy sigh. "I'll let you stay at the house for the night until you find other accommodations."

"Thanks," Faith said with a smile as she ran her fingers over the cord. "See you in a bit, Giles."

Faith walked out of the phone booth and sat on the weatherworn bench under the streetlight and lit a cigarette. She smirked as she waited for Giles, wondering how he'd react when she told him what she'd become, the changes she'd gone through. Half an hour and six cigarettes later she saw a pair of lone headlights ahead on the road. She cracked her neck and ran her fingers through her long tousled hair as she stood up and picked up her bag. The brakes squealed loudly as Giles pulled the car to a stop in front of her and she walked over to the window and stuck her head inside.

"Wondered if you'd actually come."

"Just get in the car, Faith."

"You sure don't look happy to see me," she laughed as she opened the door and hopped inside. She tossed her bag into the backseat and slammed the door shut. "What, no 'you look good, Faith' or anything?"

Giles said not a word as he pulled out of the parking lot. She inhaled deeply as she turned to look out the window and watched the darkened landscape roll past in a blur. It was just like her life and how she felt in that moment. Nothing but darkness. Nothing but emptiness.


	3. Chapter 3

Buffy stepped out of the busy airport, looking around for an empty cab. She'd spent nearly eleven hours on a plane and all she wanted to do was find a place with a bed and go to sleep. Eleven hours sitting behind a bratty seven year old was worse than everything she'd ever faced before. Her head was pounding something fierce and she pushed her way past a few men in suits and got into the nearest cab.

"Where to?"

Buffy sighed as she dug through her purse and pulled out the small piece of paper she had the address written on. She handed it to the driver and sat back, sighing out as she closed her eyes and savoured the bit of peace and quiet. The drive through the city, with evening rush hour traffic and all, took nearly an hour before the cab pulled up in front of the quaint little house on the quiet street.

"Thanks," Buffy said as she handed the driver a couple of bills.

He nodded his head, smiling a nearly toothless grin at her as he watched her climb out of the back seat and drag her oversized suitcase out with her. She placed it down on the sidewalk and stared up at the dark house. She waited until the cab disappeared around the corner before she walked up to the house and knocked on the door. Ten minutes passed without an answer and she groaned out as she dragged her suitcase down to the end of the dark porch and sat down on the bench.

She could have gone anywhere she wanted to go. She could have gone somewhere tropical with a beach, as Willow had said. She did, at first, head to Jamaica and changed her mind as soon as she had gotten there. But in the end she'd come to Cleveland to see Giles. It was a last minute decision and one she didn't think about until she was on the plane sitting behind the bratty seven year old boy who did nothing but traumatize and annoy the passengers that sat around him and his overtired mother.

"Excuse me?" An elderly lady called out from the house next door and Buffy looked over at her and she smiled. "Are you looking for Mr. Giles?"

"Yes."

"I saw him leave about an hour ago. I'm sure he won't be much longer."

"Right, thanks," Buffy nodded as she tried to get comfortable on the bench.

She was exhausted, emotionally and physically exhausted. The last couple of weeks had been...interesting and heartbreaking to say the least. When she should have been thinking about Satsu, their almost non-existent relationship that was now over, she instead thought of nothing but Faith and their encounter back in LA. She couldn't ignore the feelings she'd felt, even that night Faith had taken her back to her apartment and made sure she had somewhere safe to sleep off the mass quantities of alcohol she'd consumed like water.

After she couldn't feel her anymore, she felt lost and she couldn't feel _anything_ anymore. She felt like a part of her was gone and it was. Faith had been more to her than she ever realized, more than she ever wanted to admit even to herself. She knew Faith had changed since Sunnydale and now she was kicking herself, feeling guilty she never gave her the chance she should have given her a long time ago to prove to her she really had changed from the Faith they all once thought they knew.

That was the problem there alone. Nobody ever knew Faith, least of all Buffy. All of them over the years had just assumed they knew who she really was. The one thing Buffy did know about her was that she had built up walls around her, never letting them down far enough to let anyone in, to let anyone become close. There had been a couple of times where Buffy knew she had tried to let her in and she stupidly pushed her away, just as everyone always pushed Faith away.

Now it was too late to go back, to change things between them. Too late to try being friends despite how impossible it had always proved to be in the past. Too late to tell her she loved her and it was far too late to find her and wrap her arms around her and whisper those sweet nothings she always wanted to whisper into her ear.

"Get a grip, Buffy," she muttered quietly to herself as she pulled out her cell and called Willow, just as she promised her she would.

"Buffy?"

"Hey, Will."

"Where are you?"

"In Cleveland."

"What?" Willow asked, the crackling over the phone a sure sign Buffy was losing her signal. "Did you just say you are in Cleveland?"

"Yes."

"What the hell are you doing there?"

"I don't know, Will. It kind of was a last minute decision."

She heard Willow sigh and place her hand over the receiver. She could only faintly hear her talking to Dawn in the background and telling her that she was okay. "Buffy?"

"Yeah, Will?"

"Why are you in Cleveland? I thought you didn't want to deal with Giles and..."

"I don't know," she sighed as she leaned back on the uncomfortable bench and closed her eyes. "I thought maybe coming back to see him might help me deal with everything I'm feeling and what I can't feel anymore. I really don't know."

"How is Giles going to help you get over Satsu?"

"I'm not here because of her," Buffy said quietly. "I'm here because of Faith."

"Oh...oh!" Willow laughed and Buffy laughed a little along with her. "Buffy, I have to go. Call me tomorrow, okay?"

"Sure, Will."

Buffy turned off her cell and slid it back inside her purse as Giles' car pulled up in the driveway. She felt slight tingles, not as strong as they'd once been, but she felt them and there was no mistake just who she could feel. She felt angry all of a sudden as she stood up and cowered in the shadows, listening to Giles as he spoke quietly to the passenger as he got out of the car. She kept to the shadows, straining to see just who was with him and if her slayer senses were just acting out of hope or if they were real.

She felt something else too, something more familiar than the feelings she felt inside of her whenever Faith was around. She sensed a vampire and reached into her suitcase and pulled out her stake cautiously. Her heart nearly stopped when she saw Faith step out of the car and flip her hair back, her dimpled smile flashing as she reached into the backseat and pulled out a heavy duffle bag.

Buffy stayed where she was, still hidden in the darkness, watching as the two of them headed for the side door. The slayer in her screamed to take her out, not to trust her, but she felt her human presence there as well. She was feeling confused, angry...a whole bundle of emotions that she thought were gone forever. She picked up her suitcase and quickly made her way down the front steps and to the streets, hoping she'd go unseen and unheard.

****

Faith stood aimlessly at the side door, knowing Giles was completely oblivious to the fact that she needed to be invited inside. She had hoped that this wasn't going to happen. A part of her didn't want to tell Giles what had happened over the course of the last couple of days. She really wasn't sure how he'd react to the news of her being a new breed of vampire. Would he try to kill her? Would he send her off to Scotland so that Willow and the others could perform crazy little tests on her to figure out just what kind of new vampire she was?

"Aren't you coming in, Faith?" Giles asked tiredly as he turned on the kitchen light.

"Coming," she smirked, finding it a lot easier than she expected it to be. "Nice place, G."

"It isn't much, but its home."

"Cozy," she said as she looked around the small kitchen. "Suits ya I guess."

"Would you like something to eat? Drink?"

"Nah, I think I could do with a nice hot shower and a bed though," she smiled as she stretched out her arms. "If you don't mind, that is."

"Bathroom is upstairs, first door on the left. The guest room is across the hall," he said emotionlessly as he filled the tea kettle with water from the tap. "We'll talk in the morning."

"Not too early I hope," Faith winked as she slung the straps of her bag over her shoulder and headed for the stairs. "Thanks, Giles."

"For what?"

"For not hanging up on me when I called, for picking me up and letting me stay here."

"It is just for one night."

"Still. Thanks."

She ascended up the stairs as the phone began to ring. With a heavy sigh she opened the door to the guest room and found a single bed, a small wooden dresser and nothing else in the bare, next to empty room. She tossed her bag onto the small bed and headed to the bathroom, chuckling to herself at the neatness and the preciseness and the order he had everything in.

She turned on the taps and slowly undressed, her body rigid from sitting on a bus for the last two days. The first thing she noticed, for the first time since she'd been turned, was that her body was void of all her past scars. Flawless. Perfect. Alive yet dead all at once. Her heart beat steadily, shallowly as she stepped under the hot water. Barely had she been in the shower for two minutes before Giles knocked on the door.

"Faith?"

"What, Giles?"

"I just got a rather interesting phone call and..."

"Can this fucking wait until I am out of the shower?" Faith snapped as she reached for the only bottle of shampoo in there and groaned out in disgust as she smelled the putrid liquid. "God, this stuff smells disgusting."

"It cannot wait," Giles said impatiently. "I've just been informed that Buffy is here as well."

"What?" Faith asked as she quickly turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, grabbing the nearest towel off the rack and wrapping it around her as she opened the door. "Did you just say that Buffy is here?"

"Not here as in here, but here as in Cleveland, yes."

"Why on earth would she think you are dead?"

"Beats the hell out of me," Faith shrugged as she picked up her discarded clothes from the floor and walked across the hall to the spare room. "Our last encounter was nothing short of weirdness and mixed signals, like always. Don't ask me to understand her, Giles. You know nobody could ever understand just what goes on in that head of hers."

"I'm serious. Why would Buffy suspect that you are dead and come all the way to Cleveland?"

"I told you, I don't fucking know!" Faith said as she felt her anger bubbling through her. "You gonna stand there and watch me get dressed like a pervert, Giles?"

"No," he said as his face flushed red and he closed the door quickly.

Faith sighed out as she pulled out some fresh clothes from her bag and quickly got dressed. She used the towel she had around her body to dry her hair as she walked out of the bedroom and headed downstairs. She told herself on the ride here that she would not use any of her newfound powers on Giles. There were parts of him, parts of his soul she never wanted to know, never wanted to see.

"Tea?" Giles asked, his back turned to her as she walked into the kitchen and haphazardly tossed the damp towel over the back of the chair she pulled out and sat down in. ""No?"

"I'm fine."

"Willow was the one who called," he said softly as he brought his cup of tea over to the table and sat down across from her. "First things first though."

"You want to know what I'm really doing here?"

"Yes."

"Visit?" Faith offered as she played with the ends of her damp hair. "I needed to get out of LA, that's all."

"How long do you intend to stay?"

Faith shrugged, avoiding his eyes for more than one reason. "Not sure. Thought I'd come see ya, see if I could help out around here. Could always use a slayer around, right?"

"The hellmouth here hasn't been active as of late. It's rather quiet. I'd like to keep it that way."

Faith sighed out and drummed her fingers against the wooden table, still avoiding looking directly into his eyes as he stared over at her. She could almost feel his thoughts. He knew something was different about her and he was pondering the possibilities of just what that was.

"Faith?" Giles breathed out slowly and she found herself having a hard time now controlling the blood-lust that suddenly came over her. "Is there something wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"Is there something going on with you that I should be aware of?"

"No?" Faith offered, hoping he wouldn't sense the lie thick in her voice. "Nothing going on. Same old, same old, you know?"

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not."

"Faith, I know it's been awhile and despite the fact we haven't spoken since...since..."

"Since Buffy told us to get the fuck out of her life and let her run things over in Scotland on her own?"

"Yes," he said as he lowered his eyes.

"You still feel betrayed by her, don't you?"

"We were not talking about Buffy. We were talking about you I believe."

"Nothing to talk about, Giles."

"What happened to you in LA?"

"Nothing."

"I've heard otherwise," he said softly as he raised his cup of tea to his lips slowly. "I did speak with Angel a couple of days ago."

Faith clenched her hands at her sides as she bit her lower lip to keep from getting angry. She felt her fangs slide out just a little and felt them pierce the softness of her lips. She lowered her head, breathing heavily to get herself under control. She didn't look up until Giles stood next to her and place a hand gently on her shoulder.

"Why didn't you just tell me?"

"Don't know," she shrugged as she turned to look up at him. "Thought you would have tried to take me out."

"I know more about yourself than you do I believe. There is no way I could find it in myself to take you out, as you put it."

"Do you?"

"I know of the vampire that turned you, Edward. Rather powerful and rather old. However did you manage to stake him without a fight?"

"You heard about that?"

"Faith, when a vampire as old and powerful as Edward is killed it's hard for the news not to rumble throughout the underground."

"I don't know why Angel called you," she said flatly as she shrugged his hand off of her shoulder. "I haven't seen or spoken to him in months. I got a package from him a couple of days ago. No letter, no nothing. Just my ID and my passport."

"Like he was..."

"Telling me to run again," Faith finished for him when he trailed off, thinking rather than speaking. "Giles, I know you know something and you aren't telling me."

"I had hoped you trusted me enough to tell me this on your own."

"Sorry."

"I'm curious."

"About what?"

"Edward. What was he like?"

"A complete controlling asshole that had me under some sort of a spell. It took me a little bit to realize that. Soon as I did, poof," Faith smirked as she relaxed a little. "I did the right thing, right?"

"Of all things considering, yes. You did the right thing."

"So, Buffy's in town huh?" Faith asked before she realized it slipped out without intending for it too. "You think she'll come here?"

"I'm hoping she will."

"And if not?"

"Then she doesn't," Giles shrugged. "Get some rest, Faith. We'll talk in the morning. It's been a rather long day for me as I imagine it has been for you as well."

Faith headed back upstairs, trying to figure out why he'd been so calm even after he knew she was lying to him. It was just one of those things, one of many, she never quite understood about him. She paced the small room, the dim lamp next to the bed the only light in the room and she kept it off. Darkness was her comfort now, her blanket against herself and the rest of the world.

Lightly she trailed her fingers over the sad and worn looking drapes that barely covered the window. The tiny hairs on the back of her neck stood up as she felt her senses tingle ever so slightly. She could feel Buffy, she was near but she could feel something else. Not quite a vampire, not quite a demon. Without thinking about it, she grabbed her jacket and opened the window, jumping out onto the roof that hung over the front porch and hopped down to the slick, long grass below.

She barely looked back as Giles called out for her as she took off running.

****

Buffy hadn't made it too far from Giles' before she walked upon a small group of vampires feeding off two defenceless teenagers in the small park. She dropped her suitcase behind a bush and gripped her stake in her right hand tightly, ready for action as she always was in a moment's notice. She knew as soon as she got closer to them that they weren't normal vampires. They were a mix of vampire, of human and of a demon she couldn't quite remember the correct name of.

The vampires, or whatever the hell they were, weren't what she was thinking of right then. She couldn't stop thinking about Faith. It was like a plague, a sickness, a burden and she just couldn't shake it from her mind. She stuck to the line of trees, wanting to surprise them rather than have them notice her too soon. Eight vampires, a mixed breed or not, were always a challenge for her to take on alone.

The feeling of this being a mistake thinking she could take them out crept upon her as three of the eight vampires spotted her. Biting back her fear she stepped out of the shadows and let the slayer in her take over, the fearlessness and the confidence she always had just under the surface. It was barely a minute before the others looked up at her and they all smirked as they tossed the two lifeless bodies of the teenagers they'd been feeding on towards the swing-set behind them.

"Heard there was a slayer in town," the tall, dark haired vampire spoke softly as he waved the rest of them off as Buffy approached them. "Didn't know there'd be two. Funny. You go away a couple decades and expect to come back to the same old town and everything has changed."

"I'm not here for a conversation."

"I am not here for a fight, either," he retorted as he backed away from her slowly. "Although, it has been awhile since I've taken down a slayer."

"You think you can take me?"

"I imagine I could. Unfortunately for me and fortunately for you, you aren't the one we've been waiting and looking for. We've been looking for the other one."

"Faith?"

"Ah yes that is the one," he smirked, his pearly white teeth shining in the pale moonlight. "Faith."

Buffy stepped up to him and felt herself in an instant being flung through the air. He was quick and stronger than she had expected. Bringing herself up to her feet she looked at the grass stains on the back of her denim jacket. She growled angrily as she strode back to where he stood and kicked him in the chest.

"I told you, I am not here for a fight," he chuckled as Buffy slumped to the ground and clutched her very broken foot. "It is far too easy for me to win. Know what they say? Never kick a man when he's down. For once, I'm not going to do just that."

"Screw you," Buffy winced out as she crawled across the grass and away from him. "And is it not clear I am not a man?"

"Very clear," the vampire chuckled as he reached down and grabbed her by the collar of her jacket. "The other one is coming. She sensed fear, she sensed the danger. She can sense you, can she not?"

Buffy groaned as he dropped her to the ground, chuckling at her as she once against clutched onto her broken foot. Tears sprang into her eyes momentarily as she stared up at him, feeling nothing less that just a feeble human being. With a deep, shuddering breath she pulled herself to her feet, balancing herself on her one foot as she gingerly touched the other to the ground.

"Weak," he tittered as he circled around her. "Aren't slayers supposed to be strong?"

"I..."

"Oh that's right," he laughed as he leaned in and inhaled deeply as his lips brushed against her ear. "You've never faced one of us before. You've no idea the strength we harbour. You'll be finding out soon enough, Slayer. You are no match for us. To us, you are nothing more than a pitiful and weak human being."

He gripped onto her arms tightly, causing her to yelp out in pain as he held her up just a couple inches from the ground. She couldn't stop the fear as it shook through her body. She shivered as she felt him snake his tongue over the pulse point on her neck. It wasn't long before she heard the footfalls quickly approaching them and she sighed out in relief as she saw Faith slip out of the darkness, her run slowed down to a strut as she approached them.

"Hey," she laughed as she grabbed onto him and forced him to let go of Buffy. "You and me are gonna have a little one on one."

"The other slayer," he groaned as he wretched himself out of Faith's tight grasp. "Right on time."

"B, you okay?"

"I...I'm fine," she said as she crawled away from them, her eyes wide as she watched Faith wrap her fingers around his neck. "Faith?"

"Kind of busy here, B."

She took in a deep, sharp breath as she watched Faith rip the vampires neck off with what looked like it took no little effort at all for her. Buffy looked away as the vampires head hit the ground, his piercing blue eyes staring straight at her before his head and the rest of his body crumpled to dust. Faith groaned out as she cracked her neck and walked over to Buffy and knelt down neck to her.

"You're hurt."

"Nothing a couple days won't deal with," Buffy shrugged as she let Faith help her up and she leaned against her as she stood on one foot. "How did you..."

"Long story," Faith sighed as she wrapped her arm around Buffy's waist. "Your foot broken?"

"Feels like it."

"I'll take you to the hospital. It isn't far. Is it okay if I carry you?"

Buffy nodded, her words getting caught in her throat as she stared over at Faith. The buzz and the tingles she normally felt weren't near as strong as they should have been with the two so close together. She had to wonder if something was off with her slayer senses. Faith scooped her up in her arms and smiled hesitantly down at her as she headed for the street.

"Wait," Buffy whispered as she held onto her neck. "I left my suitcase over there."

"I'll come back for it later."

"Faith?"

"Yeah, B?"

"Thanks. You know, for saving me."

"No problem," Faith smiled as she headed down the quiet street. Buffy could feel her heart beating steadily against her and she held onto her a little tighter. "I'm not gonna drop you."

"I know."

"What, you trust me now?"

Buffy sighed, knowing where the conversation would end up going if she said another word. She just shrugged her shoulders and loosened her hold a little, trying to savour the small moment of being so close to Faith even given the circumstances that that brought them together. Neither said a word the few short blocks to the hospital and just when Buffy thought Faith was going to stay there with her, she was placed into a wheelchair in the emergency room and Faith was gone when she turned to look at where she had just been standing.

If her heart wasn't already broken, it sure felt like it was crumbling now. She inwardly scolded herself for feeling that way, but she couldn't help it. She'd thought Faith was dead and she not only thought it but she had felt it too.

****

Faith sat on the wall just outside of the emergency room, her cigarette dangling from her lips as she stared up at the stars above. Hospitals had always freaked her out and as much as she wanted to stay in there with Buffy, she had to get out of there. Hospitals made her feel like she was suffocating, it made her feel more pain than she'd felt when Edward had taken her life. And now, with her new powers, the pain of the people inside were almost too much to bear and it took every ounce of control she had inside of her to block those feelings out, to block out the pain that wasn't even hers.

She could feel herself becoming weak. It had been days since she last drank and from the few things she'd learned from Edward was that she could go no more than five days without. Unable to ignore her blood-lust and the hunger than coursed through her veins, she hopped down from the mid-rise wall and walked out to the street.

Being the predator felt out of character, but it also felt right to her now. The human in her was disgusted, the slayer angry and the vampire thirsty. Feeling three different ways made her feel conflicted. It made feel like she was becoming crazy. Maybe she was. Maybe she could only control it so much. The dark side was tempting her at every turn and beyond every street corner she passed.

Faith found herself following two vampires as they stalked a group of four couples walking drunkenly down the street. She waited until the two vampires grabbed two of them and she reached for the pretty blond one, cringing at the similarities. No matter how many blond haired women she laid her eyes on, they all reminded her of Buffy in one way or another. It didn't help that she could still smell Buffy all over her.

"Please..." the woman begged as Faith dragged her to the dark alley between two dark and empty houses. "I don't want to die."

"You won't," Faith breathed out softly as she pulled her hair away from her neck gently. "I'm not here to kill you, not like the others."

Faith was in a trance now, her eyes transfixed on the woman's pulse that nearly leaped out of her neck with each rapid beat of her heart. She tenderly kissed along the woman's neck, feeling her relax just a little in her arms. She closed her eyes for just a moment and instead of the nameless woman in her arms, it was Buffy she saw. She slid her fangs into the soft warm skin and at the first taste of the sweet blood that trickled out she felt her senses jolt to life.

Taking only what she felt she needed, leaving the woman behind breathless and yet still very alive, she took off running, feeling as if she was floating with every long stride, with every heavy clunk her boots made as she ran across the asphalt. Her heart was barely beating despite the adrenaline rushing through her body. She slowed her run down to a quick pace as she neared the hospital again, the buzzing and tingling deep in her stomach intensifying as she got closer to Buffy.

She sat back on the wall, lighting a cigarette as she tried to calm herself. It wasn't until she'd finished her cigarette that she finally felt her heart begin to beat again. It made her feel alive, yet nauseous. She still craved more and remembered one of the things Edward had said to her. The blood of a slayer was more powerful than the blood of a normal human being. Being around Buffy would be a test for her, not just for the blood-lust she now had, but for the lust and the love she'd always felt for her.

"Waiting for someone?" A lone security guard asked as he walked up to her. "If you aren't I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"Yeah, I'm waiting for someone. Hospitals creep me out so I'm staying out here until she comes out."

"Understandable," he chuckled as he fixed his cap. "Your friend going to be okay?"

"Broken foot," she shrugged. "She'll be okay."

The security guard nodded and went on his way to do what she only assumed his regular patrol around the hospital premises. She waited until he'd disappeared before she hopped down from the wall and hesitantly made her way inside the emergency room. She looked around, not seeing Buffy sitting anywhere. With a heavy sigh she sat down in one of the hard orange plastic chairs and stared at the clock on the far wall.

The minutes ticked by and felt like hours. She was exhausted yet she didn't want to sleep. She couldn't sleep. She stood up with a smile on her face as a nurse wheeled Buffy out of one of the rooms, her right foot in a cast and an annoyed look on her face. The annoyance faded a little as soon as their eyes met.

"How's the foot?"

"Broken," Buffy chuckled in reply as the nurse handed her a couple of forms to fill out. "Thought you left."

"Just went outside for awhile," Faith shrugged as she found her eyes wandering over Buffy, drinking her in and wanting nothing more to devour her. "You know how hospitals and me don't click."

"How come you stayed then?"

"Don't know. Figured you'd want the company after or something."

"Do you think Giles would mind having another houseguest for awhile?"

"You'll have to ask him yourself, B."

Faith stood there in silence as Buffy filled out the forms and handed them back to the nurse. As soon as she got a pair of crutches, Faith helped her up from the wheelchair and walked slowly next to her as they exited the emergency room. Buffy kept looking over at her and she knew that she wanted to say something yet she kept holding herself back. faith shrugged it off, knowing that whatever it was that Buffy wanted and needed to say to her it'd come in time.

They stopped by the park on the way back to Giles' house and Faith picked up the suitcase she'd chucked behind the bushes hours ago. She chuckled under her breath and gave Buffy a look as she pretended to struggle to carry it.

"It's not that heavy, Faith."

"Such a chick, B. You packed enough for a year," she snickered as they continued back down the street.

Faith felt just a slight acceptance in that moment. Like maybe they finally had a chance to do things right.


	4. Chapter 4

Giles placed a cup of warm tea on the table in front of Buffy and furrowed his brow as he slid his glasses off. "You say this vampire was stronger than normal?"

"Obviously. One kick and my foot shattered."

"Interesting," he muttered as he picked up a book from the cluttered counter and opened it. "And you say it wasn't unlike anything you'd ever seen before?"

"Giles, I'd never seen anything like it. Never felt anything like it," Buffy sighed out and she looked over at Faith. "What about you? How did you manage to kill him when I..."

"Don't know, B."

Giles glanced over at her, the two of them having a silent argument with their eyes. Faith didn't want to tell Buffy what she was and she silently pleaded with Giles not to say a word. She stood in the narrow doorway of the kitchen, leaning against the wooden frame with her arms tightly crossed over her chest. It hurt to be so close to Buffy, it hurt in ways she'd never felt before. And at the same time it hurt to distance herself.

The moment they'd gotten back to Giles house he and Buffy had a talk to get through old misunderstandings. Faith had let the two of them talk in private but it was hard for her not to pick up bits and pieces of the conversation. Even from the front porch she could overhear the two of them and she cringed each time Satsu was mentioned. It stirred up memories inside of her that she wanted to let go and forget. Memories of years ago when she first found out that Buffy and Satsu were together. Her heart, as cold as it was towards love, had shattered upon hearing the news. It was only then that she had realized just how much she really did love Buffy despite it all.

She'd come inside only when the two had begun to talk about the vampires Buffy had come across in the park. Faith felt like she should be there, not only because she was a slayer and because she had saved her, but because she was afraid Giles would tell Buffy just what she was now. Giles might have taken it better than she expected him to, but she had no idea how Buffy would react.

The worst that could happen would to be staked by her. Faith figured it was a cruel turn of fate if it ever came down to that. She couldn't even come up with what would happen if Buffy took it any other way than wanting to kill her. The lascivious thoughts were a little too much for her to handle and as soon as they entered her mind, she couldn't push them out.

"Faith?" Giles sighed as he waited for her to respond. "Faith? What do you think?"

"What do I think? About what?"

Buffy laughed under her breath as she sipped her tea, her eyes never leaving Faith's as she struggled to snap out of her little daydream. Then she let herself hold Buffy's gaze and saw her thoughts and it made her knees buckle just a little.

"You okay?" Buffy asked her own thoughts fading as she looked over at Faith. "You're looking a little pale."

"Peachy," Faith chuckled as she took in a deep breath and looked over at Giles. "What were you saying?"

"I'd asked if you had seen these kinds of vampires before and what you think they might be doing here. The hellmouth has been quiet all these years and as soon as the two of you show up here things like this start to happen."

"Nope, never seen them before," Faith said with a forced smile. "Beats the hell outta me why everything is going crazy now. Maybe now that we're both here you are just noticing the activity?"

"Hate to cut this short but," Buffy laughed and stifled a yawn. "I need to get some sleep. Eleven hours on a plane with a bratty kid creating more hell than any vamp or demon we've ever come across and then what happened since I got here. I am exhausted. Feel like I could sleep for a week."

Her wink wasn't lost upon Faith and she involuntarily shuddered as their eyes met once again. The tension between them was heavy, thicker than it ever had been in the past. Unlike any time before, Faith couldn't push those feelings aside any longer. With a quick glance at Giles, she knew she wasn't the only one picking up on the subtext and the tension between the two of them.

"I've only got one spare room," he said softly as he closed the book he had open in his hands and placed it back down on the counter. "Faith?"

"Yeah, G?"

"Seeing how Buffy is injured, would you mind giving up the bed for tonight?"

"No problem," she shrugged. "I've slept on couches plenty of times before. What's another couch?"

"Faith?"

"Yeah, B?"

"Would you uh...would you..." Buffy flustered as her face went red as she stood up from the chair, barely able to balance herself on her one good food. "Would you mind helping me upstairs?"

"What are you, a cripple?" Faith joked. She grinned widely as she apprehensively approached her. "I don't mind. Much."

She was pulling out her old self, putting on a façade to hide her feelings from Buffy. Faith grabbed onto the crutches with one hand and slid her other around Buffy's thin waist. The electrifying sparks shot through her body the moment they touched and she bit her lip to stifle the moan she felt there on the tip of her lips, threatening to let her secrets and her feelings show.

"We'll continue with this in the morning," Giles said as he reached for the light switch and waited for the two of them to walk out of the kitchen. "I just ask of one thing."

"What?" Faith asked as she turned her head to look at him.

"No killing of each other or fighting that leaves the house in a mess. At least for tonight."

"No worries," Faith smiled and she looked over at Buffy. "We're past all that, aren't we, B?"

"Sure."

"See? Nothing to worry about," Faith chuckled as she tightened her grip on Buffy when she felt her lean into her a little more. "Do you still want me to help you or should I just carry you instead?"

"I uh..."

Faith didn't give her a chance to finish as she dropped the crutches to the floor and picked her up in her arms. Their eyes locked for just a moment before Buffy broke the gaze first and quickly. Faith could feel what she felt and it only did nothing but further push her libido and her self-control over the edge. She kept her control as best as she could as she carried Buffy up the stairs and into the spare room. She didn't let her down until she had reached the bed and the only thing she could think of was doing this in a very different situation

One thing she wasn't clear about if it was her own feelings she felt or if they were Buffy's. Or both.

"Stay," Buffy whispered as Faith gently laid her down on the small bed. "I want you to stay, Faith."

"B?" Faith chuckled nervously as she looked down at her on the bed. "Don't really think that's such a good idea."

"Why not?"

"Cos," she replied as she ran her fingers through her hair. "Since when do you want me to share a bed with you?"

"Since now?"

"Still not looking like the best idea right about now."

"Faith?" Buffy said sincerely as she sat up slowly. "Just stay here with me. Giles' couch doesn't look that comfortable."

"What are you doing to me, Buffy?"

"Nothing. Just offering to share the bed you quite obviously had first dibs on."

Faith stood there for a moment before she cautiously sat on the bed next to her. "We've never been friends."

"Why do you think that is?"

"Don't know. Why do you think?"

"I think," Buffy whispered as she reached for her hand and waited for Faith to look at her. "I think we could never be friends because there's something else there between us."

"I'm just gonna go downstairs. Bed isn't big enough for the two of us anyway."

"Forget I even asked then," Buffy sighed out loudly. "You know something? I try to be your friend and yet again, here you are pushing me away, just like you've always done."

"You never tried to be my friend before, B. As far as I can recall you have been the one doing most of the pushing away."

"I wasn't pushing you away now," Buffy said with a slight pout as her grip on Faith's hand got stronger, tighter. "Please stay?"

"I'll stay for a little while," Faith sighed out as she leaned back against the headboard. "How long is your foot gonna stay broken for?"

"Slayer healing should take care of it in a week, if that."

Faith nodded, choosing to stare down at the cast on her foot instead of directly at her. She tried to focus on pushing out everything she could feel right now, but it was nearly impossible. She was certain now she wasn't just feeling her own feelings. She was definitely feeling Buffy's as well.

"You are different now," Buffy said quietly as she stroked her thumb gently over Faith's. "Really different."

"How?"

"I can feel you, but at the same time I can't."

Faith smirked a little as she turned her head to look at her. "What do you mean?"

"The tingles," she whispered as she moved a little closer to her. "They are there like they always are, but they should be stronger now with you being so close."

"Maybe you're senses are out of whack, B. Cos I can feel you," Faith said so softly she barely heard herself speak. "I can feel you all over. Makes me feel like I'm on fire."

"Faith?"

"Yeah, B?"

"What happened to us?"

"What are you talking about? Did you hit your head and forget the whole 'Buffy and Faith history' thing?"

"That's not what I meant."

"I know."

"Like you said, we're past all that, right?"

Faith smiled a little as she stared at her. "Was kind of wishful thinking on my part."

"Well, it's not. I want us to be past our past," Buffy said as she leaned in to her. Faith froze when she realized what was about to happen. "Call me crazy, but I've missed you."

"You are crazy, B."

"Faith," she laughed as she moved in a little closer. "I might be crazy. I think you make me crazy."

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Buffy asked almost innocently as she lightly kissed her. "Taking what I want. Taking what I know we both always wanted."

Faith turned her head away from her before she could kiss her again. "We shouldn't do this."

"Why not?"

"Cos."

Faith wanted to. She had dreamt of the moment when Buffy had kissed her first, when Buffy made that first move to show her that she was interested. She just couldn't control herself. The vamp in her wanted to come out. The sweet slayer blood beneath the soft succulent surface of Buffy's skin was tempting her, tantalizing her with every beat of her heart. Faith let go of Buffy's hands as she felt her fangs descend.

"Faith..."

"I'm gonna go sleep on the couch."

"What's wrong?"

"Everything," she said under her breath as she headed for the door. "Everything is wrong now."

Faith hesitated at the door, wanting to leave but wanting to stay at the same time. She could feel Buffy's own mixed emotions and it was driving her crazy. As much as she wanted to leave and she knew she should, she was being drawn back to Buffy. She stood there for another moment, breathing heavily as she ran her tongue over her sharp fangs and tried to get herself under control.

She sighed out as she felt Buffy get up from the bed and make her way the few short steps to where she stood at the door. She shivered as Buffy ran her fingers over her arms and reached for both of her hands. She took a deep breath as she turned to look at her.

"Faith...what...are you?"

"What does it look like?"

"You are...you..."

"I believe the word you are looking for is _vampire_," she hissed as she pulled her hands away from Buffy. She smirked at the crestfallen look on Buffy's face, unable to control to the monster inside of her. "I wondered why all of a sudden you were attracted to me, why you kissed me and why you wanted me to stay. You've always been the type to fall for the undead, haven't you?"

"But your heart," Buffy said softly. "It's still beating."

"New breed," Faith grinned as she flashed her fangs are her. "What? Surprised?"

"No."

"Well, what's the fun in that if I can't surprise anyone?"

"Does Giles..."

"He knows."

"What's it like? Do you still have a soul?"

"Yes, I'm still very much me. Just you know, more with the whole blood sucking thing."

Buffy looked unfazed as she stared intensely at Faith. She froze where she stood as Buffy raised her fingers and gently ran them over her cheek. "You're warm."

"Not entirely dead here, B."

"But how..."

"Don't really know how it's possible. It just is."

"Those vampires I saw in the bar the last time we saw each other, they are the ones who turned you, aren't they?"

"Bonus points for the blond slayer," Faith chuckled under her breath. "I don't know about you, but I'm fucking exhausted right now."

"Faith..."

"What?"

"Why can't you just stay right here with me?"

"I told you before that it isn't such a good idea."

"Why not?"

"Cos," Faith whispered as she leaned in close, her lips barely brushing against Buffy's as she stared into her eyes. "I don't trust myself and I don't trust you."

She felt Buffy tremble as she gently kissed her, unable to stop herself from doing what felt right. She'd waited what felt like forever for a moment like this, for the moment when she kissed Buffy and wasn't being plummeted with her fists for even trying. It was tender and sweet; two things Faith had never been before. Her patience and her self control wore thin as she wrapped her arms around Buffy's small, lithe body and deepened the kiss. She pulled away quickly when she felt her own body tremble, arousal flushing her and flooding every nerve as she stared at Buffy only mere inches away from her.

"This is wrong."

"Nothing wrong with taking what you want," Buffy whispered as she ran her fingers down Faith's back and caressed the exposed skin just below the hem of her shirt. "If I'm not mistaken, I am one of the things you've always wanted. So what are you waiting for, Faith? Take me. I'm right here, willing and waiting for you."

"Why now?"

"Why not?"

"Buffy..."

"What?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Buffy asked with a smile as she leaned into Faith and pressed her up against the door. "I want you."

Those three little words were what Faith had always wanted to hear coming from her. But this wasn't how she wanted it. She didn't want this in Giles' house. She didn't want this to happen now that she wasn't entirely herself anymore. It was hard to think straight, literally, with Buffy pressed against her, her lips so close and yet so far away.

"You want me knowing that I'm not really me anymore?"

"You are still you, Faith. I can still feel you, just a little."

"I think you can feel a whole lot more than that right now," she chuckled as she ran her fingers over Buffy's arms before she pushed her away. "Another time, another place I would have been all for this, B."

"You don't want me, do you?"

"You're wrong," Faith whispered. "I do want you. Never thought I'd ever admit it, but I do. Just not tonight."

"Is this because of the whole Satsu thing?"

"No."

"Is it because we're in Giles' house?"

"Kind of, yeah."

"Since when would that stop you?" Buffy almost purred as she ran the tips of her fingers over Faith's collarbone. "The Faith I used to know..."

"That's right, B. _Used_ to know. I'm not like that anymore."

"No more 'get some, get gone'?"

"Not with you." Faith backed Buffy up to the bed slowly; mindful of the cast on her broken foot and she placed both her hands on her shoulders and sat her down. "It's not you, B. It's me."

"That`s original," Buffy scoffed as Faith turned and walked over to the door. "That's it then?"

Not saying another word, Faith walked out of the bedroom and quietly shut the door behind her. Every inch of her was screaming at her once way or another. Her heart telling her she'd just made a mistake in walking away, her soul telling her to go back and take what she'd always wanted, what she'd always told herself she didn't want and the vamp inside of her told her to go back and take Buffy. Take her as in drain her.

Unable to contain the emotions that were inside of her, she headed downstairs and went outside. She didn't go any further than the front porch, huddling in the shadows as she shakily lit a cigarette. Her lips were still tingling from that kiss. There'd be so much else going on at once that she hadn't really stopped to think about it until now. She could taste Buffy on her lips and it made her entire body tremble.

"God damn," she muttered under her breath as she took a long drag of her cigarette.

"Faith?" Buffy said softly as she stood at the door, barely balancing herself as she stayed off her cast. "What happened upstairs...I was out of line. I shouldn't have pushed you like that."

"No worries," Faith shrugged, playing off the unemotional act as she kept herself from looking at her. "Doc's have you all drugged up or something?"

"No."

"I'm confused."

"Makes two of us," Buffy laughed softly as she leaned against the doorframe and stared out at Faith. "You've always made me feel a lot of different things. I never really...I never really stopped and let myself feel them before pushing them away, before pushing you away."

"What changed?"

"I thought I lost you."

"When did you ever have me?" Faith asked. She smirked as she looked back at Buffy and caught her gaze for a moment. "You never had me, so how could you have lost me?"

"I don't know," Buffy replied timidly as she looked away from her as her tears sprang to her eyes. "God, what does it have to be like this between us? Why can't it just be..."

"Less complicated?"

"Yeah."

"It's us, B. Nothing about us is anything short of complicated."

"You realize something?"

"What?"

"This is the longest we've ever actually talked."

Faith laughed a little as she took a long drag of her cigarette and stared up at the stars in the now brightening sky. "Communication has never worked out between us."

"What's it like?"

"What's what like?"

"To be what you are now?"

"It's different," Faith said as she paused for a moment, choosing her words carefully. "The world is a very different place now. I see things I never saw before and feel things I never thought could exist."

She closed her eyes as she remembered the moment Edward had brought her out into the world hours after her re-birth, as she called it now. She had no guilt for killing Edward. She knew his motives behind bringing her and changing her into one of them. She couldn't take Buffy's life away like that. She'd been thinking a little too hard that she barely felt Buffy reach out and tentatively place a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't touch me," Faith hissed out as she tore herself away from Buffy. "Please don't touch me."

"Faith, it's okay," Buffy said gently as she reached out again for her. "I was just going to say goodnight. Maybe we should just talk about all of this another time?"

"I'm getting the fuck outta here as soon as daylight hits."

"You can..."

"Yeah, B. Half vamp here. Worst thing the sunlight does is give me a headache. Nothing I can't handle."

"Then that's really it then? You're just going to get up and run away and disappear again?"

"You are acting like you care."

"Because I _do_ care!" Buffy cried out as her tears streamed down her cheeks. "Why do you think I came to see you in LA?"

"Cos you and the girlfriend broke up?"

"Not just because of that," she sighed out as she stepped outside and closed the door behind her so they wouldn't wake Giles. "It took me having to go through all that I have in the last couple of years to realize how I felt about you."

"How's that?"

"I...I love you, Faith."

"Right," she laughed as she shook her head and stared at her. "You love me? How can you love me after all the things we've been through? After all the things I've done to you? You don't love me, Buffy. You are just in love with the idea of being in love with me."

"You are wrong," she whispered softly. "What are you so scared of? Love?"

"You. I'm fucking scared of you, Buffy."

"Don't be."

Instead of moving away like she knew she should have, she stepped towards Buffy, tossing the cigarette over her shoulder towards the grass and slipped her hands over her waist. She felt like she was being drawn in by her and she ignored the feelings and emotions she felt coming from Buffy and tried to focus on her own. Her eyes searched Buffy's intensely, looking for any signs of any doubt. When she found none, she started looking inside herself for any doubt. She knew it was there, she could feel it she just couldn't see it too clearly. Not with Buffy staring at her the way she was now.

She wasn't just fighting her feelings for Buffy; she was still struggling with the darkness inside of her. It was an eternal struggle. One that not even redemption had freed her from. She licked her lips slowly, feeling her fangs slide out and unable to control them. She turned her head away from Buffy only to find Buffy gently placing her hands on her cheeks and turning her back to face her.

"Don't hide from me," she whispered as she leaned in and kissed her softly. "Just let me kiss you."

It took all she had in her not to say a word and she smiled just a little as she let Buffy kiss her again. She had to stop her before it went too far. She knew if it went any further she wouldn't be able to hold herself back. Over and over in her head she kept telling herself 'another time and another place' and she'd let whatever would happen just happen. It just wouldn't happen tonight.

Buffy whimpered quietly as Faith finally broke the tender kiss. She smiled a little as she brushed the tips of her fingers over Buffy's pouted lips and leaned in and quickly kissed it away. She lost her self control for a moment as Buffy took that as a sign to kiss her again. The fire between them grew hotter as Faith let herself give into temptation just a little and deepened the kiss.

"Oh god," Buffy moaned as she pulled away from the kiss breathless. "You are so good at that, Faith."

"Plenty of other things I'm good at too," she whispered huskily as she slid her hands around Buffy's waist and gently grabbed onto her ass. "But, you'll have to wait to find out just what those things are."

Faith let go of her, winking as she inwardly kicked herself for giving in and having her turn at teasing Buffy the way she'd been teasing her. For the second time in just an hour she found herself carrying Buffy back up the stairs and unable to stop looking down at her every time she felt Buffy's heart start to race a little quicker.

This time when Buffy asked her to stay with her, she stayed without a word said. She laid there on the bed and let Buffy curl up in her arms. She could only stare up at the ceiling as dawn broke through and illuminated the small, nearly empty room. Everything felt kind of right being where she was with Buffy sound asleep in her arms and dreaming of god knows what. The look on her face was adorable and Faith found herself watching her for awhile as she slept. As right as it felt, it didn't stop her from slipping out from her tight embrace and leaving her there alone.

It was what she did. It was all she knew. How could she stay now that she wasn't herself anymore? How could Buffy want her for who she was now? It was too much and not enough and rather than grow frustrated thinking about it anymore, she slipped out of the house without a word, without a sound. Without even saying goodbye.

Giles would be upset, she knew that, but it wasn't Giles she was worried about. It was Buffy. They'd reached places in their rocky relationship they hadn't reached before and here she was taking the easy and the hard way out by running away. She had other things to worry about though, other things that didn't involve Buffy. She had Edward, dead and gone or not, to deal with still. She had these new vamps right here in Cleveland looking for her. There was too much on her plate on top of learning how to deal with what she was now.

Nothing more than a monster. Just like the rest of them.

The sun was midway in the sky and she was halfway across the city by the time she started having second thoughts about leaving. The sunglasses she wore did very little to ease the pounding headache currently violating her head. Feeling frustrated, exhausted and tired of fighting her inner feelings, she headed back to Giles house and the shit storm she knew she'd walk into with Buffy after all that had happened between them just a few hours before.

She took her time walking back, not wanting to go but wanting to at the same time. Frustrated and conflicted barely described what she felt and she took the time to observe the city and the people around her as she strolled down the streets. She felt out of place and at home, but not quite. She'd never felt at home anywhere before, not even in Boston while she was growing up.

No, she hadn't felt at home until she'd been lying in bed with Buffy earlier, with her in her arms sleeping soundly. Buffy was home to her and it took her until having it and trying to let go and leave to figure it out.

"Fucking stupid, aren't I?" Faith asked herself as she stood on the busy corner and tried to hail down a cab. "That's all I've ever been is fucking stupid. Had her right where I always wanted her and what did I do? I fucking run, just like always. Stupid!"

"Excuse me?" A tall blond woman asked as she looked at Faith. "Talking to someone?"

"Nah," Faith laughed uneasily as she looked at her. "Just talking to myself, that's all."

"Are you okay?"

"Asking a crazy person if they are okay, are you okay?" Faith snapped at her and shook her head as she took off down the street. "See, fucking idiot right there."

She had no idea what had come over her. Any other time, a pretty woman like the one she'd just spoken with, wouldn't have made her react that way. She would have flirted with her, tried to get her to go out on a spontaneous date with her and they would have ended up either in a motel or behind a dumpster in a dark, dirty alley, fucking until neither of them could walk straight. Faith wasn't that woman anymore and after last night, she knew she'd never be again. It took a few hours and a pounding headache for her to realize that the only person she ever wanted to kiss, to touch, was Buffy Summers.

She had it bad now. Real bad. She was almost obsessed just like she'd been before she first slipped off to the dark side years before. She flexed her muscles as she hailed down a cab, hesitating for a moment before climbing in the back seat. She had no cash on her, but that didn't matter when she lowered her sunglasses and stared at the driver and winked at him.

Putty in her hands. Maybe she hadn't changed so much after all. Maybe it was the vamp side in her playing with her human side, duelling against each other in the invisible arena inside her heart, her mind and her soul. She got the cab driver to drop her off at the same park where she'd saved Buffy from one of her own kind. The driver turned to look at her, raising an eyebrow as he watched her slowly lick her lips.

"That'll be twenty even," he said with a smirk as he eyed her up and down. "Unless..."

"Unless I have something else in mind?" Faith asked, her voice low and husky, just dripping with sex and need. She knew how to play the card and play it well. "Why don't you park over there and I'll make it up to you."

He looked shocked and suddenly antsy as he pulled the cab into the small parking lot adjoining the park and turned off the engine. Before he could even turn around to look at her, Faith had her arm around his throat. She could smell the fear in him and it only made the blood-lust in her crave more. Without a single though, she bit into the rough skin on his neck, feeling an instant wave of life wash through her with each drop of his alcohol tinged blood.

She let go of him as her eyes fell upon the small picture taped to the dashboard of two scrawny little kids smiling at the camera. His kids. His family. What he lived for. Guilt washed over her, it made her feel nauseous and she grabbed her bag and got out of the car. She ran until her lungs felt like they would burst if she didn't stop to catch her breath. She ran until she couldn't feel nothing but pain scorching every inch of her body. To feel that pain made her forget about the guilt. It was all she needed to feel right then.


	5. Chapter 5

Giles' house was empty when she got back and she opened the unlocked back door and found her invitation had been revoked. She closed the backdoor and sat down on the step, wincing as the sun broke out from behind a couple white, puffy clouds. Sighing as she pulled out her pack of cigarettes, she leaned back against the door and lit one. Even though she couldn't feel her heart racing, she knew it was.

She could still taste the cab drivers alcohol tinged blood on her lips and she groaned out, half in disgust and the other half in pleasure. She was torn between two worlds now and torn between three different species inside of her. She felt lost, out of place and like she didn't quite belong anywhere or with anyone but herself. She was always on the edge of darkness, on the edge of her own self-destruction and it wasn't any different now than it had been before her entire life had changed.

"Faith?" Giles cleared his throat as he walked into the backyard with an armful of groceries. "Figured you took off and disappeared by now."

"Probably should have, huh? Thanks for revoking my invitation to your house."

"I uh...I..."

"Don't bother explaining. I get you don't want me around. I'll just go."

"No," he sighed out as he reached for the door and opened it. "I should explain. Buffy asked me to keep you away."

"Why?"

He shook his head as he walked inside and turned to look at her. "Come in."

With a small smile Faith grabbed her bag from the ground, flicked her cigarette into the sad excuse of a garden and followed him inside. She dropped her bag by the door and sat down at the kitchen table, staring at Giles as he put the food in the bags away in the cupboards and the fridge. Never once did he stop to look at her nor did he speak. She smirked as she saw him pull out a large tub of yogurt and leaned back in the chair as she closed her and concentrated.

Buffy was still there in the house, most likely upstairs in the bedroom. She could feel her, just faintly and she furrowed her brow in confusion. "Giles..."

"We uh, did a little magic to dull the slayer connection. She didn't want you to know she's still here."

"You gonna explain this any time soon or do I have to figure it out on my own?"

"Keep your voice down," he said sternly as he folded the paper bags up neatly. "She informed me of what er, happened between you two last night."

"Huh."

"You do realize that your actions, that you running off this morning without a word, has hurt her?"

"What else is new," Faith muttered under her breath. "That's me though, Giles. Royal fuck-up. An idiot. Don't tell me you expected that to be different now."

"I had no idea you two felt these kinds of feelings for each other," he said with a smile, clearly amused at the flustered look on Faith's face. "Dare I ask how long you've felt this way about her?"

"Does forever count as an answer?"

"She said the same thing."

Faith chuckled as she cracked her knuckles and sat back in the chair. "Are you trying to play matchmaker here? Cos that's kind of fucking weird if you are."

"What I am trying to do is understand a couple of things."

"Such as?"

"What are you really doing here?" Giles asked and they both looked up when they heard a door close upstairs.

"I didn't know where else to go," Faith replied softly. "Giles, you are like family to me despite everything, you know? I have no one else and I sure as fuck wasn't going to Angel again. He's already done enough for me."

"He would probably understand what you are going through better than I ever could."

"I know. I don't know," Faith sighed out loudly. "I...it's been too much lately."

"Another thing I want to know is what your intentions are."

"My intentions?"

"With Buffy."

"I have no intentions..."

Giles shook his head, clearing his throat as he walked over to the stove and picked up the kettle. "Honestly, Faith."

"Honestly? There is nothing to be _honest_ about, Giles. Me and Buffy are just friends, if that. So we had a couple of not so friendly kisses, nothing to freak out about. Why are we talking about it anyway? It's not a big deal or anything."

"It was to me," Buffy said quietly as she walked into the kitchen, using one crutch to support her weight. "What is she doing here, Giles?"

"He invited me back in," Faith replied as she looked her up and down, an action she always had done without thinking much about. "We had to talk."

"Like we should be doing?"

"Whatever," Faith shrugged.

"Are you going to even apologize for taking off this morning?"

"Why should I? Not like you didn't expect it, right?"

"Girls..."

"So what happened between us meant nothing to you?" Buffy asked as her tears welled up in her eyes. "Nothing, Faith? I mean sure, I didn't expect much but nothing?"

"Never said that it..."

"Girls..."

"Shut up!" Buffy said to Giles as she went from being upset to angry. "I get that you've got _so_ much to deal with right now, but don't we all? You aren't the only one with problems and a past they can't deal with, Faith."

She opened and closed her mouth quickly, not wanting to say anything to upset or anger Buffy any further. Giles stood there reacting the same way she was and Buffy groaned as she walked over to the fridge and opened it. Faith couldn't help herself as she checked her out, the shorts she was wearing not leaving much left for the imagination. Giles' face went a little red as he followed the line of her gaze and he quickly walked out of the kitchen, leaving the two of them there alone.

"Great, you ask for a certain brand of yogurt and he gets the cheapest stuff at the store," Buffy muttered under her breath as she pulled the container of plain yogurt out of the fridge.

Faith could feel an invisible force drawing her in, forcing her up out of her chair until she was only mere inches behind Buffy. She leaned in and inhaled deeply, her eyes nearly rolling back in her head as she became lost in the essence lingering off of her. She closed her eyes and she could hear Edward's voice, telling her to take Buffy just like he had wanted her to.

She didn't want Buffy because of him, no. She'd always wanted Buffy and being who and what she was now made it nearly impossible for her to ignore it any more. Her body felt charged, electrified, as she reached out and gently slid her hands around Buffy's waist. She didn't do gentle, ever. This was a test beyond anything she'd ever put herself through. And one she failed at miserably.

"Faith, what are you..."

"I don't know what you expect from me, Buffy."

"I..."

"Shut up for a second, okay?" Faith sighed as she let go of her, her hands shaking as she nervously ran them through her hair. "Look at me. You make me fucking nervous as hell, B. You've always had all these kind of effects on me and I never know how to deal with them. Why do you think I took off this morning and why the hell do you think I came back?"

"You felt guilty, didn't you?"

"For a couple of reasons, yeah."

"What about?"

"Never been too good at talking about my feelings," Faith chuckled as she stayed where she was, holding Buffy against the fridge, her body close but not quite touching her. "I'm more about showing them."

"Then show me. What the hell are you waiting for?"

"Why are you pushing me?" Faith asked softly, her eyes locking with Buffy's for a moment. "You know something? I might not have ever been in a relationship but I can see the signs of someone who is looking for a rebound and I think all you want is to get laid..."

"You are not a rebound," Buffy whispered. "There are a lot of things we need to talk about. There are a lot of things you need to know, too."

"Yeah."

"And I know you can't talk about them, so why don't you just..."

"Stop," Faith sighed as she stepped away from her. "I don't know what to feel right now."

"What do you mean?"

"I feel everything you feel," she said softly as she backed away further. "I can't separate my own feelings from the ones I feel coming from you."

"Ever think that maybe we are feeling the same things?"

Faith nodded, taking another step back until she walked into the kitchen table. Buffy laughed as she moved over to the counter and reached into a drawer for a spoon. She struggled with the container; her crutch still tucked under her arm and somehow managed to drop the spoon as she ripped the lid off. Faith couldn't help but laugh and she quickly walked over and bent down to pick up the spoon.

"When did you become such a klutz?"

"I am not a klutz," Buffy muttered as she opened the drawer again and pulled out a clean spoon. "You can just toss that one in the sink."

"Right," Faith said softly as she looked at the spoon in her hand and quickly tossed it into the empty sink. "How can you eat that stuff? It's like bacteria."

"It's good and I like it, okay. How can you drink blood?"

Shrugging, she moved so she stood next to Buffy and hoisted herself up on the counter. "Really don't have a choice now, do I?"

"Guess you don't."

"What was it like?" Faith asked suddenly, not so sure what she was asking Buffy exactly.

"What was what like?"

"Um," she nervously looked at her before scraping her nails over her jean-clad thighs. "With Satsu."

"It was nice, for awhile and when we weren't fighting."

"I sense a but coming."

"There is always a but," Buffy smirked as she scooped up a spoonful of yogurt. "You know the story. Do I really have to tell you again?"

"Nah. You don't have to if you don't want to. I was just curious."

"Are you asking me what the sex was like?"

"Sure," Faith grinned. "Was it good?"

"I guess," Buffy shrugged as she quickly looked away from her as her cheeks flushed a light red. "I mean, I did enjoy it. I...it was different...it was..."

"Sexy?"

"Yeah."

"So are you like..."

"I'm not."

"How'd you know what I was gonna ask you?" Faith asked, smirking as she slid a little closer to her. "B?"

"What?"

"You can't call yourself straight if you spent the last four years fucking a woman."

"I know," she said blushing a deeper red as she turned to look at Faith, her arm gently brushing against her leg and she nearly jumped when Faith grabbed onto her wrist. "What are you doing?"

Faith didn't say a word as she just held onto her wrist and stared at her. It took her a minute to realize just what she _was_ doing and she let go of Buffy like she'd just touched fire. Buffy's pulse was strong, full of her own power and full of life. In a small way she envied her and she still wanted her, in more ways than one.

"How's the foot feeling? Still broken?" Faith asked as she chewed on her bottom lip. Conversation she was never good at with Buffy. She was never good at anything with Buffy really.

"Still broken and it probably will be for another day or two."

She nodded not wanting to offer her what she knew would heal her in an instant. Edward had told her that the power in their own blood had the power to heal if it was given in small doses. Just the thought of offering Buffy that irked her a little bit. It made her feel just a little bit sick. Buffy kept looking up at her. Faith couldn't take what she felt from her and hopped off the counter.

"Where are you going?"

"Outside," Faith said as she reached for her jacket and pulled out her cigarettes.

"You shouldn't smoke, Faith."

"Why the fuck not?"

"It's nasty," Buffy replied as she made a face and put the yogurt back in the fridge and started to follow Faith out the back door.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm coming with you."

"Why?"

"To make sure you don't take off again," she replied as if it was normal for her to be this way towards her.

Anger and confusion and just a hint of softness flooded through her body as they walked outside and Faith reached out for Buffy's hand as she stepped down the stairs. Their eyes locked, unable to tear themselves away and Buffy took that first step and leaned in to kiss her ever so softly. Faith let herself fall into the spell Buffy seemed to have over her and allowed herself to become lost in the tender, passionate kiss. Nobody had ever kissed her the way Buffy was and it made her heart flutter, her knees weak and her head feel like it'd explode.

Years of hurt, of anger, of hate seemed to dissolve in the kiss as it continued and grew deeper, more passionate. Faith tried with all she had in her to keep it as it was, but her hands itched to touch Buffy, to take it one step further. She pulled away, breathless as she stared down at Buffy, searching her eyes and trying to separate what she felt and what she could feel Buffy feeling.

There was no use in separating the feelings. They were feeling the exact same thing. Lust. Wanting. Needing. Desire.

Taking a couple of steps back, Faith smirked as she pulled out a cigarette and lit it, ignoring the look on Buffy's face as she sat down on the steps and leaned back. Whatever was happening between them, Faith knew she couldn't allow herself just to give in, to jump into her temptations that had haunted her for years on an end. She didn't want to deny her feelings any longer. Denying them only hurt her more than anything else ever had. Her eyes never once left Buffy's as she sat there and stared up at her. It was one thing to feel something for her and another thing to act upon it, to give in and take what she always wanted from her.

"Ever wonder what it'd be like?" Buffy asked softly as she sat down next to Faith.

"What would what be like?"

"If we didn't have so much bad history between us."

"I've wondered, yes."

"And?"

"We wouldn't be sitting her having this conversation if it was any different."

"What would it be like, Faith?"

"Like I'm supposed to fucking know all the answers now?" Faith snapped and she shook her head in disbelief as she took a long drag of her cigarette. "We'd probably be together, you know, fucking like animals or something."

Buffy sighed out as she reached for the cigarette in Faith's hand and tossed it away. She pulled her in for a deep kiss, moaning as Faith pulled her onto her lap. The kiss didn't last for long and they pulled away as soon as they heard the door open behind them. Buffy tried to get up from her lap, but Faith held her there as she turned around to look at Giles.

"What's up?"

"I just received a phone call from Willow," he said as he ignored the fact that he'd walked out to catch the two of them making out like a pair of lust-driven teenagers. "I need to make an impromptu visit to Scotland for a couple of days."

"And?" Faith asked. "What's that got to do with us?"

"Either you two stay here and refrain from uh...killing each other and destroying my house, or you can come back with me."

"Any other options?"

"You can leave, go wherever you want to, and do whatever you please."

"Huh," Faith shrugged as she looked at Buffy. "You gonna go back?"

"No."

"You gonna stay here?"

"For a little while, yes. It's too soon for me to go back there," Buffy sighed and she looked up at Giles, looking a little uncomfortable as she tried to get off of Faith's lap. This time Faith let her and she helped her stand up without teetering over. "Is it okay if we stay here for awhile, Giles?"

"I suppose."

"There will be no killing, no fighting, no destroying of the house," Buffy said with a small smile. "Not like I can do much with a cast on my foot right now anyway."

"Faith?"

"What?" Faith asked as she looked at Giles and Buffy.

"There are going to have to be a few ground rules if you are staying here as well."

"Rules? Giles, what am I twelve?"

"No, but you are dangerous and not just to others, but to yourself," he said pointedly as the three of them walked back into the house. "I should ask you what I should have asked before. How often do you need to uh...feed to stay alive?"

"Once every couple of days."

Buffy cringing didn't go unnoticed to her and she sighed out as she picked up her bag. All she needed was to hear the words she knew Giles wanted to say to her. He didn't want to leave her alone with Buffy and it wasn't just because he was afraid that she'd kill her.

"Just say it, Giles."

"Say what?"

"You don't want me to stay here cos you don't trust me."

"I never..."

"Didn't have to," she said as she stopped him from trying to lie to her face. "You want me to leave, say the words, Giles. Take away the invite to your house and I'm gone."

"Faith..." Buffy said gently as she placed a hand on her arm. "Don't go."

"Why should I stay?"

"Prove to him and prove to me that we can trust you."

"I don't even trust myself, B. How the hell can I prove that to you if I can't prove it to myself first?"

"Try."

Giles sighed as he walked over to Faith and looked intensely down at her. "She's right. You need a chance to prove to both of us and to yourself that you can be trusted."

"And if I can't?"

"I suppose we'll find that out, won't we?" Giles replied, smiling just a little as he pulled Faith in for a hug. She stiffened a little, never being one to receive hugs from anyone and relaxed just a little as she felt the tears forming in her eyes. "I know it's been rough for you lately, but you know I've always been here for you in good times and in bad."

"Not always."

"No, not always, but after Sunnydale I have."

"Don't know why," Faith laughed as she quickly wiped away her tears. "I'm just an ex-con..."

"You are much more than that and you know it," Giles said firmly. "Now, since you two are going to be staying here while I am gone, as I said before, there are going to have to be some ground rules."

"Lay it on me, G."

"No visitors, no parties, no smoking inside, no drinking and no...killing of innocent people within a three block radius."

Faith chuckled as she shook her head. "I don't kill people. Not anymore."

"You know exactly what I mean."

"Right," she nodded. "Anything else? Gonna tell me to stay five feet away from Buffy at all times?"

"Who am I to tell you that?" Giles asked, winking at both of them as he walked out of the kitchen.

"Is it just me or is it kind of weird that he seems all for whatever is going on between us?" Buffy asked her as she leaned up against the counter. "Faith?"

She didn't answer her. She wasn't sure how or what to say exactly. She was fighting with the darkness inside her still, it continuing to threaten her and pull her back, suck her whole and spit her old self out when it was done. Faith dropped her bag back to the floor and headed back outside, lighting a cigarette before she was even out the door. She ground her teeth as she walked to the far back end of the small backyard and leaned up against the shed that blocked out most of the sun.

This time Buffy didn't follow her and she was relieved. She needed a few minutes to herself to sort out the shit in her head and the feelings she now felt freely flowing through her. She knew one thing though. Being alone with Buffy would be a test of character, of strength of her willpower. How long would she be able to hold back what she wanted to take most? How long could she keep herself under control when she knew what would happen the second she let her guard down?

"Should have just stayed in LA," she said to herself as she closed her eyes and tried to sink into the shadows that surrounded her.

****

Buffy stood by the kitchen window, staring out at Faith as she leaned against the shed. She knew how Faith was feeling right now. She was feeling the same things. No longer was she fighting with her feelings, she couldn't do it any longer. She wasn't strong enough not now that she'd had a taste of the one thing she'd wanted for so long.

It wasn't going to be easy, not for either of them. She knew that much was certain. Nothing was ever easy between them and every step they took made it complicated even more so.

She knew now though that the reason she could never fall in love with Satsu was because her heart belong to Faith. It always had. It took years of denial, years of pushing her feelings aside and blaming them on their slayer connection to finally embrace and accept what she felt deep in her heart. It was more than just a slayer connection; she knew that after being with Satsu for four years and never once feeling with her what she'd always felt around Faith.

"I'm about to head out," Giles said as he walked into the kitchen carrying a small suitcase. "Is there anything you'll need while I am gone?"

"No," Buffy smiled. "I'm sure we'll be fine."

"Are you okay with this?"

"We need this, Giles. We've needed this for a long time."

"Just be careful, please?"

"I will," she said as she hugged him. "Don't worry about me, okay? I'm a big girl. I can handle myself."

"It isn't you that I am worried about. It's Faith."

"I can handle her."

Giles nodded and picked up his keys from the counter and slipped off one of the extra house keys and handed it to her. "Remember if anything gets out of control..."

"It won't."

"You can't be so sure about that."

"Giles, I've never been more sure about anything in my life."

"Take care of yourself," he said with a sigh as he headed for the door. "I'm already running behind for my last-minute flight. Say goodbye to Faith for me, will you?"

Buffy nodded, turning back to look out the window at Faith. She didn't move from where she stood until she heard Giles' car back out of the driveway. She took in a few deep breaths as she backed away from the window as she saw Faith head back up to the house. She felt weak, out of control as she watched her walk in the back door and run her hands through her hair, avoiding looking at her as she closed the door behind her.

Buffy knew she had to up her game if she wanted Faith to give in and just take her the way she knew she always had wanted her. Being seductive and sexy wasn't something that came naturally to her, but she knew she had it in her to be completely irresistible. Faith stopped in her tracks as she looked over at Buffy, smiling a little at her as she bent down and picked up her bag.

"I'm gonna go shower," she said softly as she licked her lips slowly. "Did Giles leave yet?"

"Yeah, a couple of minutes ago."

"So, which one of us is gonna take his bed while he's gone?" Faith asked with a laugh as she went to move, but stayed right where she stood, as if she couldn't move just yet. "You wanna take it or should I?"

"I was thinking..." Buffy whispered as she walked up to her slowly and slid her arms around her waist. "We could share it, you know?"

"Buffy..."

"No more dancing around how we feel, Faith. It's driving me insane."

"What are you..."

"Faith, why can't you just admit it?"

"Admit what? That I want you as bad as you want me?"

"Yeah."

"Cos if I do," she smirked as she picked her up and wrapped her legs around her waist. "I'll devour you completely and I won't be able to stop."

Buffy shuddered slightly as she smiled at her, the visuals of that happening almost as good as it actually happening. Her heart was racing as she felt the heat between them building with every passing second. The fire in Faith's eyes drew her in and she kissed her hard, unable to hold herself back a second longer. She wanted her, she had to have her now and any moment wasted dancing around her feelings would definitely push her a little too far over the edge. The same edge she knew Faith had been standing on for quite some time.

She moaned into Faith's mouth as she buried her hands in her hair, kissing her deeper and harder as Faith walked slowly towards the stairs. The electrifying energy between them made her feel as if she was floating, as if she was more alive than she'd ever felt before. Her body was pulsating in time to the rapid beating of her heart and she broke away from the kiss as soon as Faith had reached the top of the stairs.

"Faith..."

"Gonna feel kind of weird if we do this in Giles' room," she whispered as she kicked open the door to the guest room. "Gonna feel kind of weird cos we are in his house."

"You are really wigging out over that, aren't you?"

"A little bit," Faith nodded as she took in a deep breath and kissed her again as she laid her down gently on the bed. She hovered over her, not fully resting her body down yet. "This what you want, Buffy?"

"Yes."

"I'm what you want?"

"Yes," she nodded as she smiled sweetly up at her. "I have no doubt in my mind or in my heart that I want otherwise."

"You want me even though I'm..."

"Faith, I want you. How much clearer can I make myself right now? Do I have to spell it out?"

"You want me," she said smiling down at her as she ran her hand up the outside of Buffy's thigh and stopped at the edge of her jean shorts. "Do you trust me?"

"I do."

"You shouldn't," Faith whispered as she gently kissed her neck just below her ear. "You really shouldn't trust me, B."

Buffy sighed out as Faith licked over her pulse point. She knew she shouldn't trust her completely, but she did. She trusted her more than she ever had before. It was the lust making her feel this way and it was the love that made her trust her. The only part of her that kept screaming at her to stop this was her brain. Never being one to listen to anything but her heart, she pushed aside the voice in her head and closed her eyes.

"You really shouldn't trust me, Buffy."

Her eyes flew open as she felt the sharp pain of Faith's fangs sliding into her skin. Her breath caught in her throat as she tugged at Faith, trying to pull her away from her. But she wasn't strong enough. She could only lay there and let it happen and she whimpered as she felt Faith's fingers unzip her shorts and slowly slide them under the tight barrier of the cotton panties she wore.

She shuddered as Faith's fingers slid over her throbbing, aching clit. She raised her hips, wanting more and yet, Faith stopped, slid her fangs from her skin and licked away the trickling blood from the perfect puncture wounds on her neck. Her eyes were dark as she stared down at Buffy. She felt a little weak yet as Faith's lips met hers, she could feel the power in Faith almost give her back her own strength. Again she rose her hips, aching for more of her touch and as Faith sighed against her lips she slid her strong, skilled fingers lower and continued on her quest of doing nothing but teasing her.

Buffy was lost to her own pleasure as Faith slid two of her fingers hard inside of her. She was lost and her body quickly gave in to the roughness of Faith's protruding fingers. Her orgasm built up quickly, crashing around her as Faith broke from their kiss and moved her lips down across her neck, licking over the love bite tenderly, slowly, almost lovingly, before sinking her fangs in once again.


	6. Chapter 6

Intense definitely summed up what Faith felt at that moment. Power slipped and surged through her blood, the temptation to mark Buffy, to taste her again, so strong and hard to resist. She was careful though, careful not to take too much.

This was beyond what she had ever dreamed it would be like with Buffy, beyond anything she'd ever felt before. It went from rough, to tender and sweet right back to rough and hard in a matter of seconds. Hours had gone by and Faith couldn't get enough of her. She couldn't get enough of making Buffy come, screaming and moaning as she begged Faith to stop for just a couple of minutes so she could catch her breath.

She was completely obsessed with every inch of Buffy, her lips, tongue and fingers continuously exploring, pleasuring, and tasting every inch she could touch. She hadn't let Buffy touch her, hadn't let her do anything yet. All she wanted, all she cared about was making her feel things she never felt before, reaching places nobody ever had taken her before.

"Faith..." Buffy breathed out breathlessly as she tugged on her shirt. "Please, let me touch you."

"Not yet."

"At least take your clothes off, Faith."

"No."

"Baby...please," she begged as she roughly pulled off Faith's shirt. "I need to..."

"What do you need?"

"All of you."

Faith sighed as she let Buffy take the reins and let her undress her slowly. It wasn't that she didn't want Buffy to touch her, to do the things she had only dreamt of her doing to her. It was her self-control she worried she'd lose if it went that far between them. She wasn't a fool though and she didn't want to deny Buffy the pleasure of returning all the things she'd made her feel.

She'd never let another person make her feel pleasure. She'd always denied herself that, figuring theirs was all that mattered. If she got something out of it, she took it as it came and yet, in this moment, she couldn't help but feeling as if this was her first time ever being touched, being loved.

"You're shaking," Buffy whispered as she hooked her fingers over the top of her jeans. "Are you okay?"

"Fine."

"Are you nervous?"

"Yes," Faith said softly as she closed her eyes.

"Don't be," Buffy smiled as she slid her jeans down slowly.

She opened her eyes and leaned up a little, watching as Buffy slid her jeans off and tossed them to the floor. The wicked grin Buffy gave her made her tremble. Sighing contentedly as Buffy kissed her way up her legs slowly, she couldn't stop the full body shiver as she gently bit down into the softness of her inner thigh. The way Buffy kept looking up at her, her green eyes shining darkly with pure desire made her want to grab her, flip her over and continue the full body worship she'd been giving to her for hours already.

"Nuh uh," Buffy smiled as she grabbed onto Faith's hands and pined them to the mattress. "It's my turn."

"Buffy..."

Her thoughts disappeared as Buffy licked her way up Faith's body, stopping only when she reached her neck. Faith groaned as Buffy sucked on her pulse point and she didn't struggle against her as she continued to hold her hands against the mattress at her sides. Faith couldn't restrain herself and she pulled her hands free from Buffy's tight grasp and ran her nails down her back, pulling her in closer as their lips met in a fiercely intense kiss. She could feel Buffy's thoughts, her emotions and she froze all of a sudden, breaking away from their kiss as she just stared at her.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing..." Faith replied slowly. "Are we...is this more than just a fuck?"

"What do you think?" Buffy whispered as she trailed a hand down her side and slipped it between them, gently tracing over the soft skin on her hips. "Do you want me to say it?"

Faith moaned as Buffy gently eased her hand down and she shuddered intensely as Buffy's fingers slipped over her clit slowly. "Oh fuck..."

"We're making love, Faith. It would never be any other way between us."

"I've never..."

"Never say never," Buffy whispered against the soft skin of her neck and licked salaciously at the skin as she began to move down her body slowly. "God, you taste so good, Faith."

She threw her head back against the pillow, squeezing her eyes closed tightly as she bit into her bottom lip. She still fought with the darkness inside of her, the darkness that told her to take Buffy, to turn her into what she was. She still craved another taste of her even though she knew she couldn't give into the temptations again too soon. She didn't want Buffy to be weak, to be on the brink of death.

Faith opened her eyes when she felt Buffy stop suddenly and she looked down at her, confused as to why she'd stopped. "Buffy?"

"What happened to your scar?" Buffy asked as she ran her fingers lightly over the spot where her scar from the knife Buffy had plunged into had once been.

"Disappeared after...after I was turned."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Well," Buffy smirked as she kissed the skin now void of the scar. "Guess it's for the better then, right?"

Faith nodded her head slowly, keeping her eyes on Buffy as she kissed her way down and gently nudged her legs apart. She fought to keep her eyes open now, fought to forget all the memories of all the times she'd found a hot little blond and imagined it was Buffy and not whatever their names were. She was completely screwed in the head, she knew that and seeing Buffy between her legs, licking the skin around her pussy tentatively nearly made her come on the spot.

A fire of arousal surged through her with the first touch of Buffy's tongue sliding over her clit. It was too much and yet so not enough. She grabbed onto the sheets and gripped tightly as Buffy tongued her clit and gently thrust two fingers in and out of her, drawing out her orgasm as she teetered on the brink.

She bit down on her lower lip, not caring her fangs had slid partway out and she moaned as her body tensed, the orgasm threatening to rip through her at any second. It had never been like this for her, never been so quick, so intense. She expected nothing less with Buffy though. This had been the only one she'd been dreaming of for what had felt like forever.

"Come here," she whispered out huskily as she pulled Buffy up and held her close. "That was..."

"Amazing?"

"Fucking intense, B. Who knew you had skills like that," she winked as she kissed her lightly on the forehead. "Jesus."

"So," Buffy smirked as she ran her fingertips over Faith's shoulder lightly as she laid her head down on her chest. "What does this mean?"

"What does what mean?"

"We just fucked, just made love. We're definitely not friends."

"No, definitely not."

"Faith?"

"Hmm?"

"I know you don't do the whole relationship thing, but..."

"Once isn't enough, is it?" Faith asked as a smile crept over her lips. "You think I'm crazy enough to let this be a onetime thing? Hell, I don't think I could deal with that."

"Good, because I can't deal with it being a onetime thing either."

Faith breathed in deeply, keeping her arms around Buffy as she closed her eyes. Her whole body was electrified and she felt alive again with Buffy laid out over her. As crazy as it felt to feel it, she felt complete too. It wasn't much longer before Buffy was sound asleep in her arms and yet, as tired as she was, she just couldn't sleep. She gently stroked Buffy's hair as it fell over her shoulders. Her fingertips buzzed every time she touched Buffy's skin and she fought the urges to wake her up so she could continue to worship every inch of the succulent, lithe body she'd lusted after for years.

After about a half hour, Faith slipped out from under Buffy and dressed quietly and quickly. She wasn't going to run this time, but her body was craving a cigarette. Badly.

She went out onto the front porch, smiling at the old lady next door as she sat in her rocking chair reading the evening paper. She lit her cigarette as she sat down on the bench and licked her lips as she inhaled, still tasting Buffy, still smelling her all over her. It was intoxicating. Her personal high was quickly interrupted when she saw Angel strolling up the street, hands in his pockets, head held low. With a roll of her eyes she stood up and walked down to meet him at the sidewalk, not wanting Buffy to overhear anything that was said between them.

"Angel."

"Faith," he nodded in reply. "Figured you'd still be here."

"How did you figure?"

"Buffy is here. What else?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Walk with me," he motioned as he began to walk in the direction he came from.

Faith sighed, looking back up at the house before she followed him. She only hoped that she'd make it back before Buffy woke and found she was gone. She didn't want her to think she'd taken off, again.

****

The sheets were still warm next to her when she woke and her body was buzzing, aching and she couldn't remember the last time she'd ever felt so relaxed, so at peace before. The empty bed didn't alarm her, she could still feel Faith nearby and she stretched out and smiled as she closed her eyes and thought of the last couple of hours between them and how much things had changed almost instantly.

She wrapped the sheets around her as she got out of bed and walked over to the window. She smiled to herself as she opened it, feeling the cool breeze chill her body a little. In a way she was glad Faith had slipped out, it was giving her a little bit of time to think about what was really going on between them. Of course she wasn't stupid enough to _think_ that there was more to it than just a fuck; she already knew that there was more to it.

Buffy was certain of one thing. She was hopelessly in love with Faith. Just as she always had been, always would be.

She started to wonder why she didn't hold herself back like she normal did around Faith. It hit her when she realized what it was. Faith was a vampire, half vampire at that. She seemed to have some kind of spell of her, not quite the way she had before. The other factors began to weigh in as well. Given her prior conquests in the past, Faith fit the bill. The one thing she wasn't so sure about was where Satsu had fit in before. She never did fit in other than her just being there when Buffy needed someone most.

Sighing as she walked back to the bed and laid down, she closed her eyes and tried to push away all her thoughts. She could still feel Faith's lips all over her and she slowly brought her fingers up to the wound on her neck. It was tender and Faith hadn't viciously ripped at her skin. The other small love bites over her body had already faded and she smiled to herself as she curled up on her side. She had never felt so good before and she knew she never would be able to feel this way with anyone but Faith.

****

Strangely enough, Angel said nothing as the two of them walked down the street and the further Faith walked from the house, the more she wanted to just turn around and go back. Even though she had no idea what Angel was doing there she did have a feeling that whatever it was, it was important. He wouldn't have just shown up there if it wasn't.

"Where are we going?" Faith asked, breaking the heavy silence between them. "Angel?"

"Somewhere quiet to talk."

"Couldn't we have just talked at the house?"

"No."

"It's Buffy, isn't it? You can't stand to be around her..."

"You are right," he nodded as he turned to look at her. "I can't. Smelling her on you is hard enough for me as it is right now. You better not hurt her or I'll come after you."

"Angel, why would I hurt her?"

"You aren't yourself anymore."

"What makes you think that?" Faith asked chuckling as Angel let out a low sigh. "I know I am not myself anymore. I'm not slipping into the darkness this time. I went down that path once already and I'm trying..."

"Edward's family is looking for you."

"I thought I..."

"The ones you killed that night when you killed him, that wasn't his family. They were just followers, his 'children' as he liked to call them. I don't think you realize what you've done, Faith."

"He took my life, Angel. He turned me into what I am now. He was controlling me..."

"Just like you're doing with Buffy?"

"Hey!" Faith stopped him from walking, fighting the urge to punch him in the face. "I am not controlling Buffy. I don't plan to turn her. Hell, I don't want her to know what being like this is really like."

"You might not think you are controlling her, but you are. It's a vampire thing and from the things I've heard about your...kind," he sighed as he placed his hands on her shoulders and looked directly into her eyes. "The demon inside of you, it's always right there, always waiting for the one moment. It controls the people around you, seduces them and when it finds that right moment, that's it."

"How do you know this?"

Angel smirked as he continued walking down the road. Faith sighed as she followed him, curious now more than ever. "Edward's family came to me years ago, back when they first found out there were two slayers. They wanted me to help them find you both."

"Angel..."

"Are you going to let me talk?"

"Fine."

"They've been waiting for centuries to turn a slayer into one of them, wanting to harbour that kind of power. You have more power than they ever thought was possible, than they ever dreamt of. You need to stop whatever it is you are doing with Buffy."

"Why?"

"You have to stop before it goes too far, before the demon inside of you takes full control of you. There are things you can control only for so long. I came here to talk some sense into you. You need to get out of the country and not just because Edward's family is looking for you."

"You are jealous," Faith laughed as she shook her head. "You are jealous because I finally got Buffy and have had her in ways you..."

Angel smacked her across the face, hard. "You know how I feel about her."

"But you can never have her, Angel. And it's not cos of your whole deal. You know it's cos you know she doesn't want you anymore."

"Who _does_ she want since you seem to know her so well now," Angel asked. The sarcasm in his voice wasn't lost on her and she laughed as she shrugged her shoulders. "That's what I figured."

"Well I do know I just don't feel like getting fucking slapped again."

"To tell you the truth, kind of hurt," Angel laughed as he subtly rubbed the palm of his hand. "You really are stronger than anything else out there, aren't you?"

"Guess so. Intimidate you?"

"It should, but it doesn't."

"Well, what's the fucking point then if I can't intimidate you?" Faith asked as they both laughed, whatever tension there was there before between them was gone. "Why do I have to run anyway? I could take Edward's family. He was easy enough to take as it was."

"It's not so simple, Faith."

"You just want me to get away from Buffy, don't you? Found out me and her were here and you don't trust me around her, is that it?"

"You don't love her."

"That's where you are wrong," Faith said softly. "I do...love her."

"You'll end up hurting her."

"No, I won't."

Angel shook his head as they started walking back to Giles' house. "You say that now..."

"Angel, shut up for a second okay? You know how I feel about her, how I've always felt about her. It's stronger now and I can't just turn and walk away from it. I can't walk away even when I know nobody wants to see us together. I sure can't walk away when I know she feels the same way now."

"Are you together?"

"Beats the hell outta me," Faith shrugged. "Maybe? I don't really know."

"Just be careful, okay? Keep your eyes and ears open. As soon as it's known that you are here, they'll find you."

"Uh," Faith sighed as she looked over at Angel. "Kind of already had a little minor incident. I took care of it though."

"A minor incident?"

"Buffy ran into these guys, tried to take them out. They are strong too, but not as strong as I am. Angel..."

"You're scared, aren't you?"

"For her. She isn't going to be able to protect herself. There is no way in hell I'm taking off and leaving her alone to face these things on her own. I get why you've come here. Appreciate it, but I can handle these things on my own."

Angel took out a business card from his pocket and handed it to her. "If you need some help, there is a guy I know from around here that is more than willing to help you out. He owes me a couple of favours."

"I don't need anyone's help."

"I'd say otherwise. I can already sense you are about to jump off that edge into a darkness you've never known before. Being what you are now, it is impossible to stop it alone," Angel said and he looked up at the house and sighed. "Just be careful, okay?"

"You know me," Faith smirked as she began to walk up to the front door. "I'm always careful."

Faith turned to look at Angel by the time she reached the door, but he was already gone. This wasn't what she needed right now, for Angel to mess with her head like that. He was jealous, really jealous of her. Buffy was the main purpose of his visit, didn't take a genius to figure that one out. It bothered her though. He got her really thinking about what was going on between her and Buffy. He got her to flat out admit she loved her and she had given in and admitted it easily.

One thing he had been right about was her inevitable plunge into her dark side she knew was right there, waiting for her to give in and embrace it. The temptations to stop fighting it and give in were just growing stronger with each passing minute. She was losing herself to the demon inside of her, losing herself to her heart and her very soul. Being torn in three different directions would, in normal circumstances, drive a person insane.

Faith already was beyond that.

Buffy was asleep when she got back upstairs. It took her a couple of minutes, deciding whether to crawl into bed with her or just go downstairs and sleep on the couch. The soft sigh escaping from Buffy's lips as she dreamt made Faith's decision for her and she leaned down and kissed her on the forehead before she went downstairs.

She tossed and turned for hours until the sun rose, unable to take her mind off of the things Angel had said to her and unable to stop thinking about Buffy and what had happened between them. Her body ached for her; ached for her touch, ached for those soft, feather-light kisses the both soothed and tortured every inch of her. It wasn't until she heard Buffy softly call out for her that she went back upstairs. Standing in the doorway of the guest room, she stared in at Buffy, knowing she was still fast asleep and still dreaming.

Not only could she feel her dreams, but she could see them as she closed her eyes. Moaning softly as she bit her lip, she allowed herself to make her way to the bed, easily stripping out of her clothes piece by piece with every tentative step. The first rays of sunlight poked through the window as she crawled into bed next to Buffy, hesitating for a moment before slipping her arms around her and holding her close.

"Where'd you go?" Buffy whispered sleepily as her eyes fluttered open. "Faith?"

"Just had some thinking to do."

"How come you didn't come back to bed until now?"

"Don't know, B."

"I thought for a while there that maybe you didn't want to come back after..."

"Crazy talk," Faith chuckled. "Can't stop thinking about you."

"Me neither."

"Angel was here."

"Oh?"

"Don't worry about it though," Faith smiled a little. "He's just checking in on me, that's all."

Buffy sighed out softly as she brushed her lips across Faith's neck, gently kissing her there before resting her head on her chest. "This is kind of nice."

"What is?"

"Just being held by you. Never thought you were capable of being like this."

"I'm capable of a lot of things, B. Never had a chance to show you or anyone else that before."

"It's nice," Buffy smiled as she turned her head to look up at her. "I could get used to this."

Faith nodded, kissing the top of her head as she fought the smile the crept across her lips. "Me too."

"What's going to happen with you, Faith?"

"What do you mean?"

"You are a...vampire, right? That makes you immortal, doesn't it?"

"Yeah. Unfortunately. I'm still human and I am still a slayer too. Kind of a fucked up mixed bag, isn't it?"

"What's it like, really?"

"Really?" Faith sighed out as she ran her fingers slowly over Buffy's bare back. "Kind of sucks."

"Literally, right?" Buffy laughed and she shivered as Faith's fingertips brushed the base of her spine. "It turned you on, didn't it? Drinking from me."

She shrugged and ran her fingertips over Buffy's chin and made her look at her. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"Kind of surprised me, that's all. You were gentle and you didn't take too much. You seemed so in control of it too."

"Seeming and being are two different things. You shouldn't trust me, B. You really shouldn't."

"You don't have a lot of faith in yourself, do you?"

"I have plenty of reason not to."

"Well, you've changed a lot, Faith. In more than just the obvious way. You sell yourself short when it comes down to it all. I started to see that change in you that night you found me drunk in the streets down in LA."

"Wasn't gonna leave you out there, B. You were a wreck. Hell, even if I still hated you I couldn't have left you out there like that."

Buffy smiled, moving to straddle her hips as the sheets fell from around her body. Faith couldn't fight the surge of arousal that ignited all over her body and she could feel it running through Buffy's as she leaned in and kissed her. Her lips were soft, sweet, her tongue dancing over Faith's lips almost teasingly as she pushed her to give in. Faith had an inner battle she was fighting as she gave into the temptation of Buffy's lips on her own.

"What did it feel like," Buffy whispered as she broke from the kiss for a moment to look at her. "What did it feel like when you...drank from me? Was it better than just any normal human?"

"Could feel the power in you, in me. There are really no words to..."

Buffy kissed her again, smiling against her lips as Faith growled softly and flipped her over quickly. "Faith..."

"I'm not going to bite you this time."

"Please..."

"You want me to?" Faith asked, frowning slightly as she stared into Buffy's eyes. "You actually want me to?"

"A little bit, yeah," she smiled sweetly, almost shyly as she wrapped her leg around Faith's waist and pulled her in closer. "Call me crazy, but it turned me on too."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"It's dangerous. For both of us. Your blood, it's like heroin to me, Buffy. One taste and I'm already addicted. I don't wanna turn you into what I am...." Faith sighed as she shuddered at the thought of turning Buffy. "I can't."

"What about the rest of me?" Buffy asked coyly as she ran her fingers over Faith's back slowly.

That earned another shudder from Faith and she kissed Buffy furiously and hungrily. Her fangs slid out as Buffy raised her hips into hers and she felt them pierce her own lips and Buffy's as she kissed her deeper. Faith pulled back from the kiss and licked her way across Buffy's neck, stopping at the wounds she'd made earlier. Buffy whimpered, her nails digging into Faith's shoulders as she held her there. Faith pulled away from her, fighting with herself and her temptations, her desires, her blood-lust.

"Buffy, what are you doing?" Faith growled as she got off of her and stood at the side of the bed, breathing hard and heavily as she stared down at her. "I told you I wasn't gonna do that again."

She saw then the kind of power she had over Buffy and it scared her. She didn't want to be a monster and it was proving harder with every passing second to fight the demon inside of her. Buffy stood up from the bed, slowly approaching her with dark lust clouding her eyes.

"Faith..."

"Stop it, Buffy."

"Is it so wrong that I want you? That I need you?"

Faith shuddered as she backed up and quickly found herself pressed up against the wall next to the door. "Not...wrong...I guess."

"Nervous still, Faithy?"

She flinched and shook her head no. She wasn't nervous. She was afraid. Afraid of herself and what she'd do to Buffy if she lost her self-control. Her whole body was buzzing as Buffy pulled her back to the bed, smirking as Faith gave in and allowed herself to become submissive. She might have had power and control over Buffy, but Buffy had a different kind of power, a different kind of control over her.

She felt weak, out of control as Buffy pushed her back on the bed. She kept her eyes on Buffy as she straddled her, biting her lip a little too hard as Buffy's hand trailed a blazing path down her stomach. Faith could only moan as she watched Buffy's hand disappear between her legs and slip between her folds, wasting not a second to slip two fingers deep inside of her.

"Fuck, B..."

Buffy only smiled at her, her eyes still dark with lust as she reached for one of Faith's hands. She placed her hand on her chest and moved it down slowly, biting her lip as she slipped her fingers inside of Faith even deeper. Slow wasn't what she was used to, but then again, she wasn't used to fucking Buffy or being dominated by her either. With her free hand, she pulled Buffy down and kissed her hard as her fingers tripped over her clit and she slowly eased one inside of her.

"God...Faith...feels so good," Buffy moaned as she bucked her hips, wanting more. Faith shook her head no and kissed her again.

The heat between them was intense. Faith could hardly hold herself back, but she did as long as she could manage to. They broke away from the heated kiss, gasping as they fucked each other in time, slow yet hard, teasing yet pleasing. Faith gripped onto Buffy's hip, slowing her pace down as she licked her bottom lip slowly, salaciously before completely devouring her mouth with her own.

Faith lost herself, let go of the demon inside of her and became one with Buffy. She forgot who she was now, forgot the person she'd once been and only saw who she was in that single moment as she stepped over the only safe edge she'd ever known.

For only a second, as Buffy collapsed on top of her, breathless and spent, Faith thought she felt a tiny bit of guilt and a bit of doubt coming from her. It passed almost as soon as it came and when Buffy lifted her head to look at her, she smiled and kissed her ever so softly.

"You know something?"

"I know some things," Faith chuckled. "What, B?"

"I never felt like that before, I mean you know, with anyone else."

"Me neither."

"Why do I feel like I'm in high school and just had sex for the first time? Numerous times one after another?"

"In a way, we have," Faith smiled as she gently brushed aside the strands of hair that stuck to Buffy's forehead. "And you know something? It's never been like this for me before either."

"What's going to happen down the road? I mean for us, considering you are..."

"We'll figure it out when it comes, okay? I hate thinking about the future. I hate even thinking about five minutes from now."

"What do you think is going to happen five minutes from now?"

Faith shrugged and kissed her forehead lightly before Buffy laid her head on her chest. "Probably gonna go downstairs and make you breakfast. You hungry?"

"Starving. But, what about you?"

"I'm good."

"No," Buffy sighed as she shook her head. "I can feel it in you somehow that what you had before wasn't enough."

"You aren't going to be my buffet table," Faith replied harshly. "I told you, I'm fine. Now, what do you want me to make you for breakfast? You picky about anything?"

Buffy shook her head no and breathed in heavily as she ran her fingers languidly over Faith's forearm. For a long time she didn't say a word, she barely breathed, barely did anything but listen to the faint yet strong beating of Faith's heart. It was a moment of closeness she wanted. It was what Faith wanted too when she thought about it.


	7. Chapter 7

Three days came and went before Giles came back, tired and worn. A lot had happened between Buffy and Faith in the last three days, things that Faith never thought could happen between the two of them. Buffy was keeping her from crossing the line, crawling and falling over the edge to her own destruction, of darkness and evil. Buffy had a sense of control over Faith, one that nobody ever had before. It wasn't until the morning that Giles came back that Faith figured out just why.

She was completely, hopelessly, head over heels in love with her. More than she ever had been before.

So many times she wanted to run, the feeling so strong inside of her pulling her that way. It was hard to fight it, hard and yet so easy all at once. All she had to do was look at Buffy and she stayed. It wasn't just the sex, as incredible and intense as it was, that made her stay either. There was a lot more there, even more than love. But, the more she thought about everything, the fact that she was no longer human, the more she wondered how long things would work out between them before they crumbled and withered away.

Giles had said not a word when he had come home. Faith wasn't even sure he'd seen her and Buffy on the couch when he walked through the front door. Maybe he had and couldn't be bothered to say a word to them, couldn't be bothered to interrupt them. She pulled away from Buffy, both of them breathing heavily, lips swollen and aching still for more and she sat up slowly, pulling Buffy with her and just focused on trying to feel, to sense, to understand.

"What's wrong, Faith?"

"Shh," she whispered as she placed a finger over Buffy's lips. "Let me listen."

"Listen?"

"To Giles. I can feel him. Something happened when he went to Scotland."

"Something bad?"

"Don't know," Faith shrugged. "Has something to do with both of us. That much I can pick up on."

Buffy sighed out as she ran her fingers through Faith's hair, smiling as she pulled her in for another kiss. Faith only shivered as Buffy deepened the kiss, finding herself floating away from her own thoughts, her own feelings and becoming immersed within Buffy, within their kiss. That was the power, the control that Buffy had over her and she couldn't get enough, yet it was too much all at once. Faith still wasn't sure what was going on between them, wasn't sure if they were just fooling around or if there was something more there under the surface of the sexual tension that had always been there between the two of them.

"You're thinking again," Buffy whispered as she pulled away from Faith slowly. "You always start thinking when you kiss me."

"Can't help it."

"Were you always like this?"

"No."

"Is it because..."

"I don't know what it is," Faith shrugged as she lifted Buffy up from her lap and placed her down on the couch next to her. "Fuck, it's driving me crazy, everything is."

"Am I driving you crazy?"

"When haven't you driven me crazy, B?" Faith chuckled as she stood up and headed for the kitchen.

"Where are you going?"

"To talk to Giles," she responded without looking back at her and walked into the kitchen and found Giles sitting at the table with a cup of tea in front of him and his eyes closed. "Hey, G. How was the trip to Scotland?"

He barely flinched as he kept his eyes closed. He reached for his cup of tea and took a small sip. Faith could feel everything he felt and she felt something else. He was trying to control his feelings, control the emotional aspect of himself to guard it from her. Faith ran her hand through her hair as she tried harder to read him, to feel what he felt despite he was controlling it all. It was frustrating and she stood there, waiting for him to say something, say anything.

"Eventful," Giles responded a couple minutes later. "Very eventful."

"Oh."

"We did a bit of research," he said with a heavy sigh as he looked up at her and motioned for her to take a seat across from him. "We understand the type of...vampire you are, but what we can't understand is why you are still human and still a slayer. Willow wants you to come to Scotland for awhile."

"What, so she can run some asinine tests on me?"

"Not necessarily. Faith, I know you don't feel it, but you are in danger to yourself, to Buffy and everyone around you."

"So what, you want to lock me up? Keep me where I can't hurt anyone?"

"Faith..."

"Giles, seriously. I can control myself. Just ask Buffy..."

"She's under some kind of thrall," he said firmly as he stared at her. "You have her under your thrall, under your control. She cannot think clearly with you around. It'll be best for you both and for everyone else involved that you two stay away from one another."

"What!" Faith stood up and shook her head. "You are telling me to stay away from Buffy?"

"Yes."

"That's completely fucked up, Giles."

"I know."

"You have no idea how I feel about her," Faith said angrily as she took in a sharp breath to control herself. "You have no idea, Giles. No fucking idea!"

"You've bit her, haven't you?" Giles asked, but it was more of a statement than a question. "Figured you had. Are you addicted to it, to the power she has in her blood? Does it take every ounce of control in you to stop yourself from draining her completely?"

"No," Faith whispered. "I'd never drain her completely, Giles."

"Why is that?"

"I'm in love with her."

"You are part vampire, you might have a soul but that doesn't mean you are capable of knowing and understanding the meaning of love."

"I've always been in love with her," Faith whispered as she felt her tears build up in her eyes slowly, crawling from the lump currently in her throat. "It's just...different now. It's different cos I'm not entirely me."

"How many times?"

"What?"

"How many times have you..."

"I don't think that's any of your goddamn business, Giles!"

Faith turned to look at Buffy standing in the doorway. She was angry. Faith felt that strongly coming from her. She was also upset and a little bit surprised. Buffy walked over to the table and place a hand on Faith's shoulder, smiling down at her before she looked over at Giles.

"You don't know what you are getting yourself into, Buffy. I am rather concerned and as your former Watcher..."

"Giles, I appreciate your concern, but that doesn't give you the right to ask us how many times we've made love nor does it give you the right to ask how many times she's bit me, taken from me."

Giles only sighed out loudly as he gripped the cup of tea with both hands. For one split second he lost the control he had over his thoughts and his emotions and Faith flinched when she felt them, saw them. He wanted her gone, not just from the house and their lives, but gone as in dead. She gritted her teeth as she stood up slowly, looking at Buffy for a moment before she looked over at Giles.

"I'll make it easy for you," she said softly as she took Buffy's hand and squeezed it gently. "I'll get the fuck outta here and I won't come back."

"Faith..."

"Buffy, I have to. I see how it is now," she sighed as she leaned over and kissed her lightly on the lips, lingering for half a second before pulling away. "I don't want to hurt you or anyone else. I don't want to hurt myself. It's been great, B. Seeing how things could have been between us. Finally got what I wanted and now, it's being taken away from me."

"Faith..."

"I'm used to it," she said coldly as she let go of Buffy's hand. "Nobody ever loved me, ever wanted me around. I don't know if you love me for me or because I am what I am now."

"Faith, listen to me," Buffy said as she pulled her out of the kitchen. "Don't let him come between us. Don't let anyone try to tell you what this is or what it isn't. I know how I feel and I know how I've always felt and you being what you are now hasn't changed a thing."

"Buffy...listen to me. The last couple of days have been nothing short of amazing. Maybe he's right. I'm dangerous. I cannot be trusted."

"Don't think that you can't," Buffy smiled as she placed her hands on Faith's cheeks and forced her to look at her. "You've show strength and control. You've shown me love."

"Have I?"

"You have," she smiled again and lightly kissed her. "I'll never let you lose control, never let you slip off the edge into the darkness that I know is in you. I'll never let it happen, Faith."

Feeling the love coming from Buffy was overwhelming to say the least. It took every sense and ounce of control Faith had in her not to kiss her, not to touch her. As soon as Buffy's lips were on hers, she lost it. She closed her eyes and kissed her back, harder, deeper as her hands slid over her waist and pulled her in close. Buffy stopped her as she moved a hand to gently cup her breast and she broke away from the kiss, her eyes searching Buffy's for unspoken and unfelt answers.

She shuddered as Buffy ran her fingers down her spine and she pulled away, the hunger creeping up on her, hitting her hard. Her fangs slid out as she gazed at Buffy, hungry and lust-driven for the only human that quenched the thirst that was always inside of her now. Buffy only shook her head no, pulling Faith in for a deep, passionate kiss as she shoved her up against the wall.

"It's been a couple days, Faith. I know what you need," she whispered against her lips. "Take what you need, Faith. I'm not going to stop you."

"I'm going to stop me."

"Faith, don't do this to yourself."

"I have to stop myself, Buffy. If I give in every time, I'll lose control completely. I can't do that. Not to myself and definitely not to you."

"I want you to."

"Buffy, stop it!" Faith growled as she pushed her away and sent her flying down the narrow hallway. "God, Giles was right. Angel was right."

"Faith?"

She ignored Buffy as she ran upstairs and grabbed her bag, shoving the clothes she had strewn over the room into the bag as quickly as she could. As much as she didn't want to run, she had no choice. It was run or stay there and lose complete control. She wasn't ready to fall into the darkness and she wasn't ready for the destruction of her sanity, of her heart and soul. The old Faith, the one she'd been so many years ago, began to take over and she slipped out the window and jumped down to the ground, running away as fast and as far as she could.

She would come back, one day, when she was ready to. She stopped running a couple of blocks away from Giles' house and sat down on the curb and cried. It was all too much and she felt sick as she tried to stop herself from crying. The tears stopped when she heard footsteps rapidly approaching her from behind. Before she could even look to see who it was, she was hit across the back of the head, hard and she groaned as she fell back onto the sidewalk.

****

Faith struggled to open her eyes, eternal sleep looking a hell of a lot better than the pain she currently felt pulsing through her entire body. She was chained to the floor, unable to move even a fraction of an inch. She could hear voices talking too quietly for her to pick up on what they were saying, but she recognized one of them.

Angel.

Faith blinked a couple of times, opening her eyes and allowing them to adjust to the darkness surrounding her. She could only see three tall figures standing on the other side of the room and when she groaned again and tried to move, bright lights were turned on, nearly blinding her. She saw Angel and two others she didn't recognize and they approached her slowly, she began to tug on the chains, feeling fear and danger surrounding every inch of her.

"Let me go," she growled as she struggled against the strong, heavy chains. "Let me go!"

"Faith," Angel said softly as he knelt down next to her. "We're doing this for your own good."

"What are you doing exactly?"

"A type of exorcism," he replied as he stared down at her. "We're getting the demon inside of you out."

"What?"

"We're changing you back," he said as he motioned for the other two men to come forward. "Well, we're going to try."

"Why? What happens if it doesn't work?"

Angel shook his head as he stood up slowly. "If it doesn't work, I guess we better say our goodbyes now."

"Angel!" Faith felt like screaming, like killing him and the two others that were now standing next to her. "What the fuck? Let me go!"

Angel shook his head as he stepped back. The two men began chanting in an ancient language as they circled her slowly and she felt her body begin to vibrate almost uncontrollably. She fought it, but the magic they were using against her was much too strong, much too powerful for her to block, to push away.

The pain was unbearable. Faith let out a scream as her body strained against the chains, the metal groaning against the strength before she fell limp. She closed her eyes, tears rolling down her cheeks and before she slipped into what felt like could be eternal sleep, she saw Buffy, felt her. She wanted to be saved, she wanted to be loved, she wanted to go back to the day they first met and change everything to the way it should have been.

But it was much too late. It was always too late.

****

Two weeks passed without a word from Faith. Buffy had gone back to Scotland just four days after Faith had taken off and disappeared. Giles had tried to convince her it was for the better, that she'd be safe and so would Faith if they were apart. She kept having the feeling that Giles wasn't telling her something and that his visit to Scotland had been more than what he'd made it out to be.

She felt betrayed, not only by Giles and by Faith, but she felt betrayed by herself. It hurt more to know Faith was gone, was probably never coming back, than it had hurt when she and Satsu ended things between them. For the three, almost four days she'd spent with Faith, it felt like a lifetime and she was happy. Now it was gone, everything she'd been feeling completely gone. She felt empty, lifeless and depressed.

"Buffy?" Willow called out softly as she knocked on the locked bedroom door. "Can I come in and talk?"

"Go away, Will."

"Buffy, come on. Let me in."

"Go. Away."

Buffy pulled the covers over her head and curled up on her bed, the tears she'd been holding back easily slipping out with every shuddering breath she took. She ran her fingers over the faded love bite on her neck. It only made her think of Faith, of what they'd shared, of how she felt with every tender kiss, every gentle touch and caress. If she closed her eyes and concentrated hard enough, she could still feel Faith, she could still feel her lips upon her own, her fingers dancing over delicate skin.

Never had she imagined Faith could have been like that with her, so loving, so tender. It sent chills down her spine every time she thought of it and made her feel sick, lost and withdrawn when she thought of never being able to see her again. There were other things she kept thinking about. She had to keep wondering what it was, the control she knew Faith now had over her, if it was because she was a vampire now or if something inside of her had awakened and finally allowed herself to give in and go with how she always felt.

"Buffy?" Willow called out again softly. "Please let me in. We need to talk."

"I don't feel like talking right now."

"I know where Faith is."

Buffy threw the covers off of her and walked quickly over to the door and opened it. "You know where she is?"

"I do," Willow nodded. "You aren't going to like what I have to tell you though."

"What happened? It's bad isn't it?"

"Angel and a couple of very powerful warlocks have her locked up. Chained to a floor to be more accurate. They've been performing a type of exorcism on her for the past two weeks. I've been informed that other than the fact it isn't quite working, she is still very much alive."

"They are doing what?"

"A spell to bring her back. To make her fully human again."

"Why would they do that?" Buffy asked as she and Willow walked over to the unmade bed. She crawled back under the covers while Willow sat at the foot of the bed facing her. "If it works, what'll happen?"

"Nobody knows. If it does work, it might kill her."

"Why are they doing this?"

"Because she has some very old, very powerful vampires looking for her right now. She killed one of their own and they want their revenge. Angel and the others keeping her where she is now its keeping her safe."

Buffy sighed as she wrapped the covers around her. "I love her, Will."

"I know you do."

"Those three days we spent together...it was amazing. I never thought...I...god, Will. I can't stop thinking about her, about what we had. I don't want it to end like this. I'm going crazy being apart from her. I...Giles thinks she had me under her thrall, that she was controlling me, but everything I felt was everything I'd always felt around her. It wasn't her that did this. It was me."

"Buffy..."

"What I felt with her I never felt with anyone before and I know she hasn't felt that before. We need to get her back, Will. I don't care if she's still half vampire. I need her back. She needs to be right here with me."

"I've never seen you like this before," Willow mused as she smiled at Buffy. "You really have it bad for her, don't you?"

"If you knew what it was like to be with her, you would too."

Willow winked as she moved up to the top of the bed and leaned against the headboard as she reached for Buffy's hand. "We'll get her back. I'll try to figure out how and do it for you."

"Thank you, Will."

"So," she laughed as she let go of Buffy's hand. "What _was_ it like with Faith? Was it hot?"

"It was amazing. She was so different than what I expected her to be."

"The important thing here is this, Buffy. Was it hot and sexy and everything else she claimed being with her is like?"

"Everything and then some."

Willow laughed as she leaned back against the headboard and closed her eyes. "Always wondered if you two would end up getting together. It just seemed like it would have happened before, happened sooner, you know?"

"It should have happened before. I was just...scared I guess. In denial."

"That river finally dried up, huh?" Willow smiled and she nudged Buffy in the shoulder. "Buffy, did you...did she..."

Buffy saw her staring at the scar on her neck and she just nodded her head and looked away from her quickly. She ran her fingers over the scar and found herself smiling a little and when she looked back at Willow, her smile quickly faded. Willow only shook her head and waited for an explanation from Buffy as to why she'd ever willingly allow herself to be bit, to be drained even if just a little.

Buffy had no idea why she'd given in, why she wanted Faith to keep doing it. It was a high, a buzz and a thrill unlike no other she'd ever felt before. It had brought them even closer in those moments and despite the magnitude of the situation. As disappointed as Willow looked, Buffy knew she also could understand, just a little, where she was coming from.

"It was...different. I don't know why I let her, why I wanted her to keep doing it, Will. It was just..."

"Surreal? Sexual?"

"Yeah," Buffy smiled. "God, why do I keep feeling her all over me? I can't get her out of my head."

"Love does that," Willow replied and she smiled warmly at her. "We'll get her back, okay? But, before we do I think you should probably have a nice long shower."

"Are you telling me I smell?"

"You haven't showered in days, Buffy. You look a little worse for the wear and yeah, you do smell, just a little but it's not like repugnant or anything."

"I have let myself go," Buffy sighed as she looked over at Willow. "This is worse than how I was when Satsu and I broke up, isn't it?"

"A lot worse."

"It sucks, Will."

"I know it does, almost literally huh?" Willow laughed. "Would you ever think of, you know..."

"Turning?"

"Yeah, would you? For her, I mean."

"I don't know. I kind of thought about it, but then I don't know. Will, it's a lot to think about and I can't even imagine what it's like for her, what it feels like, how she can even deal. She did tell me that I kept her grounded, that I kept her sane and on this side of the darkness inside of her."

"That's a good thing, you know, that you kept her from jumping off that edge. It's a tempting edge. I should know. I'm tempted every day."

"How are we going to get her back?"

"Haven't figured it out yet, Buffy. But we'll get her back, I promise."

Buffy sighed as she sank in further into the bed and pulled the pillow over her head. She didn't want Willow to see her crying, not like this. She shook as she tried to fight off the tears and winced and held onto the pillow as Willow tried to pull it away. She heard Willow sigh and get off the bed. She waited until she heard her open the door before she pulled the pillow off of her face.

"I'll figure out a way to get Faith here, unharmed. Give me a couple hours, maybe a couple of days. I'll let you know when I've figured it out."

"Will?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

Willow smiled and just nodded as she walked out of the room and quietly closed the door behind her. Buffy took a deep breath as she got out of bed and walked into her own private bathroom. She flipped on the light and stared at her reflection in the mirror.

"Pitiful, Buffy. Really pitiful," she said to herself as she ran her fingers through her tousled hair. "God, she drives me crazy! What's worse is that I'm letting her!"

Laughing at herself, at her appearance and her feelings, she walked over to the tub and ran the water. After looking through the piles of bottles she had on the shelf on the wall, she poured in some of the lavender bubbles and sighed as she watched the tub fill up slowly. She got out of the pyjamas she'd been wearing for nearly three days, cringing when she thought about that and climbed into the tub as it finished filling almost to the brim.

The water was just hot enough to relax her tightly wound and sore muscles. She closed her eyes as she leaned her head back, fighting off her tears as she tried to stop thinking about Faith. Nothing was working, nothing had in the last two weeks. The more she tried to forget her, the more she thought about her and the stronger the feelings she had for her became.

Then she felt it, she could feel _her_. She opened her eyes, looking around the small bathroom and sighed out when the feeling passed. It was just hopeful wishing and she let the tears fall as she closed her eyes once again.

****

Faith felt battered, bruised and weak. She had no idea how long she'd been chained to the floor and she was hungry. Angel was there almost all hours of the day as were the two warlocks, constantly chanting, constantly trying to draw the demon inside of her out. She was fighting, not against the demon, but to hold onto herself. It made her wonder if doing that was keeping the demon inside of her.

Angel hadn't said a word to her since she woke up that first night. He only stood there and watched, leaving only every once in awhile to get a couple ounces of pigs blood to feed her with. It was never enough. It didn't compare. Then again, nothing would ever compare to Buffy. Nothing.

"God, would you guys quit it?" Faith groaned out weakly and she looked over at Angel. "Tell them to give it a rest. I'm about to pass the fuck out here."

"It's beginning to work," he said softly as he motioned for the two warlocks to leave the room. "You keep fighting it, Faith. Let go, let it come out."

"Can't cos I'm not fighting it, Angel. I'm fighting to stay strong. Can't stay strong when you feed me that weak ass shit you been feeding me since you chained me to the fucking floor!"

"At least I bother to keep you alive."

"Well, you shouldn't. Should just leave me here to rot away to nothing. Better than what you've been doing to me!"

"Calm down," he said softly. "Keeping you here is keeping you safe. Edward's family is out for revenge, of the worst kind and in ways you could never imagine. I'm also keeping you from losing control of yourself, Faith. Once you slip into that darkness it's over. You'll be so far gone nobody will be able to save you. Not yourself. Not even Buffy."

"So what the hell am I gonna do then? Just lie here and take what you are doing to me?"

"You have no other choice, do you?"

"I do," she groaned as she pulled on the chains. "I have plenty of choices. You aren't giving me the chance to have a fucking choice right now, Angel."

Angel only knelt down next to her, shaking his head slowly as he smiled at her. "I'll give you the chance to do that, but right now? I can't do that. Promised Giles I wouldn't until this was done."

"Giles? How did he...Angel, what the fuck?"

"We went to Scotland, not just to see the others but to meet with the coven there. It was decided this had to be done. Having a slayer as a vampire, half or not, is very dangerous, Faith. We're just doing the right thing."

"By chaining me to a fucking floor and performing spells and exorcisms on me that don't fucking work? How is that the right thing?"

"When this works, you'll thank us. If it doesn't, well," Angel chuckled softly as he stood back up. "Guess you won't be thanking us at all."

With that, he left and Faith was alone in the small, damp room that she knew now was a cellar. The lights were shut off before Angel walked out the door and slammed it shut and she screamed out into the darkness. Her voice echoed off the stone walls, reverberating through her body, chilling her and driving insane with madness.

She'd never been closer to falling off that edge than she was at that moment. Being in the situation she was in now, the darkness looked tempting. Self-destructing seemed like her only way out. It was either that or drive herself completely insane. The only thing that was keeping her going, keeping her from letting herself fall over that edge was the memories of those few days she had with Buffy, those few days where they couldn't keep their hands and their lips off of one another.

She closed her eyes and slowly licked her dry lips, still faintly tasting Buffy, still faintly feeling her lips upon her own. Sighing, she moved against the chains, wishing she could move her hands from her sides just a little. It'd been awhile since she'd been able to sleep for longer than a couple of hours and in those few hours never once did she have a dream nor did she have a nightmare. All she wanted was something to be there other than the never-ending darkness.

To her, Buffy was that light at the end of the long dark tunnel she'd been trapped in all her life and one that kept sucking her back. Buffy had always been her light. It just took her too damn long to figure it out and once she had, it was taken from her. Partially from her own selfishness and mostly because of Angel. She knew though, that no matter what happened to her, she'd find a way back to her. Everything always came back to Buffy even though she had spent years upon years fighting it.

Faith groaned as she tried to move again, hoping this time she'd have enough strength to break through the heavy chains. As every time she'd tried, they failed to move, failed to break. Fighting the urge to break down and cry, she kept her eyes closed and hoped for dreams that would take her from this place, take her from herself and the current state her life was stuck in.

It felt like too much to hope for. It was always too much to hope for to have just a little bit of what she wanted in life. It was all she'd ever known and all she ever felt that she would know. Hope wasn't something she ever held onto, but now...it was all she had.

****

Buffy, Willow and Xander stood out in the courtyard. It was getting late and they agreed it was now or never. Willow found out Faith's location and since they couldn't do it inside without a proper invite to her, they had no choice but to do it out in the rain.

"Are you sure this is going to work, Will?" Buffy asked as she stood next to Xander and shivered. "Will?"

"You've really fallen for her, haven't you?" Xander asked with a smile as he put his arm around her. "Never saw that coming to be honest with you, Buff."

"I fell for her a long time ago," Buffy smiled. "I just...you know."

Xander only nodded as Willow looked over at them, smiling as she motioned for them to step back a little bit. Buffy only held her breath and closed her eyes as Xander pulled her in close. Thunder rumbled close by, shaking the ground under them. The bright red light filled the ground in front of them and Buffy opened her eyes just a little, holding her breath still as she waited for the smoke to clear.


	8. Chapter 8

Faith was weaker than she had been in the last couple of weeks. After her last talk with Angel she hadn't seen him again nor had the two warlocks come back. Her skin, cold from being on the damp floor, felt like it was burning with every breath she took. She figured it had only been a couple of weeks, two maybe that she'd been down there. It was hard to keep track of time when she was slowly losing what was left of her mind, her sanity and her humanity.

Her body began to twitch suddenly and she groaned out in pain as she struggled against the chains. She kept her eyes closed, fighting off the burning pain that seared throughout her body. She heard the door fly open but when she opened her eyes she found herself lying on damp grass with hard, cold rain coming down in sheets. Shivering she looked up from the ground, having fallen face first and saw Willow standing in front of her with a smile on her face.

"Red?"

"Faith," she smiled down at her as she held out her hand. "Are you okay?"

"Not really, no. What the hell just happened? Where the fuck am I and why the hell is it raining?"

"You're in Scotland," Buffy said calmly as she walked up behind Faith, unable to keep the smile off her face.

"Buffy?"

"Hey."

Faith stumbled as she took a couple of steps, falling into Buffy's arms. She laughed a little as she looked at her and sighed in deeply. "This has got to be a fucked up dream. I am dreaming, right?"

"No."

"It's real? I'm really here and you are really here with me?"

"Yes," Buffy smiled as she held onto Faith tightly. "What happened to you?"

"Angel," she whispered. "Angel and Giles were working together. Trying to..."

"We know about that. What did they do to you? You look so weak, so..."

"Almost dead?" Faith offered as she managed to let out a weak laugh. "They had me chained to a fucking floor for god knows how long. I haven't...eaten...since I left you."

"Do you need to..."

"No," Faith said sharply as she pushed Buffy away from her. "Don't you ever offer yourself to me again, okay? I told you before how I felt about that."

Buffy only nodded as she reached for her hand. Willow and Xander exchanged a worried yet confused look at they followed the two of them to the closest set of doors. They walked inside first and waited for Buffy to follow. Faith felt tense for a moment until Buffy beckoned her close and she leaned in and lightly brushed her lips over her ear.

"Come inside, Faith."

She shivered as Buffy stepped back and walked through the doorway, smiling at her as she waited for her to follow. All those days she'd wanted nothing more than to be with her again, all the time she'd spent wishing and dreaming of this moment made it feel unreal. She never once took her eyes off of Buffy as she was led through the castle and up to Buffy's room.

"You can take a shower or a hot bath if you need one," Buffy said as she closed the door behind her. "Xander is clearing out the room across the hall so you'll stay there."

"Buffy?" Faith sighed as she wrapped her arms around her and pulled her in close. "I'm sorry for taking off like that. I don't know what got into me. Guess I got what was coming to me for taking off like that though. Figures, huh?"

"What were they doing to you exactly?"

"Fuck if I know," Faith shrugged as she kept her arms around Buffy. "Angel said they were trying to release the demon inside of me, trying to change me back. It didn't work."

"Oh."

"So where can I take this shower?"

"In there," Buffy said as she pointed to the bathroom door. "Uh, I might have some clothes that'll fit you."

"Yeah," Faith laughed as she looked down at her wet, dirty clothes. "Gonna need them."

Buffy opened her mouth as if she was going to say something and quickly closed it as she walked over to the closet on the opposite side of the room. Faith chuckled softly under her breath as he walked to the bathroom. She ran the water in the shower stall and stripped out of her clothes, suddenly finding it painful to move. She shook off the pain as she stepped under the hot water.

She kept her eyes closed and her hands on the tiled wall in front of her as the hot water cascaded over her tired, sore and very weak body. She didn't even flinch when she heard the door open and felt Buffy in there with her. She was in and out and Faith breathed out heavily. It was taking all the willpower she had not to go out there and grab Buffy and kiss her, hold her, touch her and fuck her, make love to her until neither of them could breathe.

After about half an hour and once the water ran cold, Faith stepped out of the shower stall and reached for one of the big white towels draped on the rack. She wrapped it around her and walked out to the bedroom, finding it empty and a pair of shorts and a simple black tank top laid out on the bed for her. She dressed slowly, the clothes clean yet smelling entirely of Buffy. It made her head spin, her stomach ache and her heart weep.

"I've fucking lost it," she muttered under her breath as she ran her fingers through her wet hair. She spun around when she heard the door open and smiled at Buffy as she walked in the room. "Thanks for letting me use your shower, B."

"You used up all the hot water, didn't you?"

"Yep," Faith grinned as she used the towel to dry her hair. "Oh, you didn't want a shower too, did you?"

Buffy only chuckled as she walked over to the bed and sat down, her eyes never leaving Faith's as she untied her boots. Faith backed away from the bed, still drying her hair with the towel and shuddered as Buffy's heavy boots clunked to the wooden floor. She didn't have to feel anything to know what Buffy was thinking at that moment. She dropped the towel to the floor as she reached the door.

"Where are you running off to this time, Faith?"

"I need a cigarette."

"You need one or are you looking for an excuse to run away from me again?"

"Buffy..."

"Those three days we had together were amazing, Faith."

"I know."

Buffy smiled as she got up from the bed and walked over to her. "I can't seem to get it out of my head. I can't seem to get _you_ out of my head."

Faith could feel her heart racing as she pressed her body into hers, backing her up against the door as she reached around and locked it. Faith tried not to look into her eyes. She knew what kind of control she had over Buffy when she did. It bothered her to no end, wondering if Buffy acting this way was because of the control she had over her, because of the demon inside of her.

"I know what you want, Faith."

"What do I want, B?"

"Me."

"Well, that's not really a surprise now is it?"

"No," she chuckled as she pulled Faith towards the bed. "I can't stop thinking about you, Faith. It's been driving me crazy."

"You and me both."

"You're weak," she whispered as she pulled Faith down on the bed with her, wrapping her legs around her waist to keep her from moving. "Just take a little. It won't hurt."

"I can't."

"Faith..."

"Buffy, I can't. I should have never bit you. I should have never..."

"Never what? Never should have made love to me? Fucked me? Whatever your choice words are when it comes to describing what we had for those three days it is all the same thing. Can't take it back now. We're so far beyond that now."

"Buffy, let me go," Faith whimpered as she bit her lower lip. "You are making it really hard for me to control myself right now."

"Isn't this what you want?" Buffy asked as she lightly ran her fingers over Faith's shoulders. "Don't you want me?"

"I do."

"What are you so afraid of?"

"Falling over the edge."

"There's only one edge I'll let you fall over, Faith."

"Fuck," she groaned as Buffy grabbed onto her head, her fingers grasping her damp hair. "I don't want it to be like this."

"Just take a little bit, Faith. Just a little. You are too weak. Look at you. You can barely keep yourself from shaking. Barely can fight against me."

"Buffy...stop it..."

"When you walked away you broke my heart," she whispered as she pulled Faith down closer, their lips only a fraction of an inch apart. "It hurt, Faith. It hurt so much. I am so in lo..."

"Don't."

"Don't?"

"Don't tell me you are in love with me, B. I'm nothing but a monster now. Wait," Faith smirked as Buffy finally let her go and she got off of her and stood at the foot of the bed. "Maybe that's why you gave in, fell in _love_ with me."

"You are such a bitch."

"Of course I am," Faith laughed as she walked back to the door. "Listen, B. Those three days? Kept me strong, kept me going the whole time I was chained to the floor like the monster I am. Should've just left me there. Would have kept things a lot less complicated between us."

"It's never been anything else," Buffy said with a small smile. "But that's okay. That's how it is between us. Just a few obstacles to get over. And for the record, Faith. I was in love with you long before you became what you are now."

Faith shuddered as she fumbled with the lock on the door, unable to process what Buffy had just said. She wasn't thinking clearly. She never could think too clearly around Buffy. It'd always been that way and it looked like some things weren't going to change. With one last look at Buffy lying on the bed, pouting as she stared at her, Faith walked out of the bedroom and closed the door behind her.

Faith wandered throughout the castle for nearly an hour before she found Willow sitting in the kitchen with a cup of tea in her hands and her laptop open in front of her on the table. Faith sat down next to her, startling her a little when she reached out to turn the laptop a little so she could read what was on the screen.

"Researching the spell Angel and the others were trying to do?"

"Yeah," Willow nodded. "I think I know why it didn't work."

"Enlighten me."

"It's never been done before. At least not successfully."

"Want to explain to me why they kept going for a couple of weeks without giving up?"

Willow sighed and took a sip of her tea before she closed the lid on her laptop. "I don't know. Angel has a soft spot in his heart for you. It kills him to see you like this, just like it kills Giles. I know somewhere deep inside Buffy it kills her too, but..."

"But what? Spit it out."

"She loves you. No matter who or what you are, she loves you."

"Yeah, figured that one out already, Red."

"How do you feel about her?"

Faith scoffed as she turned her head and drummed her fingers on the table. "What do you think?"

"I think you feel the same way."

"What gave that away?"

"The way you looked at her when I brought you here," Willow smiled. "It showed in your eyes how you felt about her. That and she kind of told me what happened with you two back in Cleveland before, you know..."

Faith laughed as she ran a shaky hand through her hair. "Figured she told you."

Willow just stared at her with a small smile on her face, a smile that spoke more words than the feelings Faith felt coming from her. They'd never been on good terms, but she had a feeling that if she let down her walls a little and let Willow in, they could be something resembling friends somewhere down the line. Willow's smile suddenly faded and she placed her nearly empty cup of tea on the table in front of her as she turned to face Faith.

"How come you...bit her?"

"Don't know," Faith shrugged. "Just happened. I couldn't control myself. Sure as fuck not gonna let that happen again either. Been too close to falling over the edge. Don't want to know how far I can take it before I completely fall over it, you know?"

"Yeah, I do know. All too well."

"What keeps you from falling?"

"Faith in yourself. Love. Trust."

"Three things I don't have."

"I wouldn't know about that, you do have love and you have trust whether you believe you do or not and I'm not just talking about Buffy, I'm talking about everyone."

"Right," Faith nodded. "What else? Seems easier said than done."

"Just start by having a little bit of faith in yourself. You won't fall over that edge if you do."

Faith nodded, grinding her teeth together as she breathed in deeply. "Are there any uh, towns nearby?"

"No. Why?"

"Need some smokes."

"Oh," Willow sighed and she raised an eyebrow at her. "Are you sure that's all you need?"

"Fuck," Faith groaned as she stood up from the chair. "Haven't uh, you know, drank something decent in a couple of weeks so, jonesen here as you can imagine."

"Oh! I think we have some whiskey or vodka in one of the cupboards..."

"Red? I wasn't talking about alcohol."

Willow blushed as she nodded. "I know. I was kind of hoping you were talking about alcohol though. I keep kind of forgetting that you're, you know."

"A vampire?"

"Yeah."

"Does it scare you?"

"No. You have a soul and you aren't really much different. At least from the things I can see."

"Red, you have no idea. Everything is different. Every smell, every taste. I can hear things I don't want to hear, feel things I shouldn't be able to feel."

"Ooh, let me make another cup of tea. I want to hear all about this!" Willow said excitedly as she got up and walked over to the kettle on the stove. "I kind of have an idea how to solve your uh...hunger problem too."

"If you say pigs blood..."

"No," Willow said as she shook her head. "We actually have blood stored in the medic ward, you know, just in case one of the girls gets hurt pretty badly. I could go down and get some for you, maybe uh, warm it up?"

"This kind of borders on being weird, doesn't it?"

"Not really, no," Willow laughed. "Seriously though, would something like that work for you?"

"Don't know, Red. Still a newbie here. Only ever had it straight from the source. Don't count what Angel was feeding me anything worthy. Shit barely has kept me alive. Don't ask me how I'm still able to function here."

Willow nodded and pulled out a fresh teabag from the ceramic container next to the stove and dropped it in her cup. She got a clean mug from the cupboard in front of her and handed it to Faith. "Come on, we'll get you fed and we'll talk."

Faith sighed out and followed Willow out of the kitchen with a smile on her face. She could hear Willow's thoughts, babbling on worse than it was when she spoke. "You are something else, Red."

"You say something?"

"Never mind," Faith laughed as she continued to follow Willow to the medic ward.

****

Buffy carried Faith's dirty, wet clothes down to the laundry room, feeling frustrated and a tiny bit happy that she was there. She threw them in the washing machine and slammed the lid shut, trying to force out the pounding headache that had just crept upon her. She snapped her head around when she heard voices, Willow and Faith's, as they walked past the laundry room. She walked out and saw them round the corner and go into the kitchen. After she checked to make sure she hadn't put too much detergent in the machine, she walked to the kitchen and stood in the hallway, listening.

Faith was telling Willow what it was like for her now that she was a vampire. Buffy was intrigued, listening carefully to everything she was saying. It hurt her just a little that Faith was telling Willow things she wanted to know and Faith hadn't told her. With a heavy sigh she walked into the kitchen and past them to the fridge.

"Oh, Buffy, we figured out how to uh, feed Faith without having her harm anyone or you," Willow piped up as she poured the hot water from the kettle into her mug. "Aren't you curious to know?"

"Not really. Did someone eat the last of the strawberry yogurt again?"

"That was Dawn," Willow laughed as Buffy slammed the fridge door shut. "I think there's some way in the back. I remembered to hide some of it after the last time."

Buffy just sighed and turned to look at Faith. She held a mug in her hands and was sipping slowly. She walked up to her and peered into the mug, scrunching her face when she saw what was inside. Faith only shrugged and took another sip, grinning a little as Buffy shuddered and stepped away from her.

"That is going to be your mug from here on out. No way in hell anyone else is going to want to drink from that after they find out..."

"Fine with me, B."

"Feeling better?"

"Getting there," Faith nodded. "Red and I were just talking about the spell Angel and the others were trying on me, discussing why it wasn't working."

"Oh."

"Yeah," Faith sighed out. "You okay? You look a little pissed off about something."

"I just _look_ a little pissed off? Since you can read feelings and minds, why don't you tell me why I'm so pissed off? While you are at it, why don't you tell me why you just lied to me?"

"I lied to you?"

"Yes!" Buffy sighed out as she started pacing, looking over at a bewildered Willow every couple of seconds. "You told Will things you haven't told me, things you refused to tell me. How come she gets to hear all the details of what it's like when I don't?"

"You never really asked me, B. As I can recall, your mouth was a little busy those four days we were together," Faith replied as she wiggled her eyebrows. "That's not what is bothering you, is it?"

She shook her head no and passed a glance over at Willow. "No, not really. What happened upstairs earlier..."

"You're feeling a little worked up?" Faith whispered only loud enough for her to hear. "You missed me, my touch, my kiss? Wanted nothing more than for me to be upstairs with you right now making love?"

Buffy nodded, her knees feeling weak and her heart racing. "Yes."

"Later."

"Why?"

"Cos," Faith smirked. "Need my energy, don't I? Besides, Red and I still got some research to do. I want to know why Angel, Giles and the others were doing the things they were. I mean I know why, but I want to know the full explanation."

"Giles is afraid you're too strong, that you are at danger to yourself and to everyone else," Willow said as she opened her laptop and sighed. "He might be right though, Faith. You might be more dangerous than we think."

Buffy stood next to Faith, just wanting to be near her in any way she could. She paid no attention to the things Willow was saying. She just kept staring at Faith, trying to catch her gaze. Whenever their eyes would meet, just for a second or two, Buffy felt herself drawn into her. Now she was starting to see the kind of power Faith had over her, whether it was intended or not. She knew that Faith was playing her, stringing her along, probably on purpose or without even realizing it. Whatever it was, Buffy couldn't quite figure it out. She wasn't sure she wanted to either. The answers, the truth, scared her.

"Buffy?" Willow laughed as she cleared her throat. "Are you okay?"

"Fine, Will."

"Did you hear a word I said or were you too busy staring at Faith?"

Buffy felt her face flush as she looked down at the floor and shrugged. Faith laughed as she walked over to the sink, rinsed out her mug and joined Willow at the table. She almost couldn't stand to be around Faith, as much as she had missed her in the past two weeks. She said her goodnights and went up to her room, desperately trying to take her mind off of Faith, off of the four days they'd spent together.

No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't forget. She didn't want to.

****

Faith found herself wandering the castle hours after Willow gave up on doing the research and called it a night. She'd run into a couple of the younger slayers, one of them even let her bum a couple smokes off of her. She wasn't tired; she was exhausted both physically and mentally. But her body and her mind wouldn`t let her sleep. It was almost as if she was afraid she'd be taken back to where she'd been.

The morning sun shone through the windows of the room Willow told her she could stay in if she didn't want to stay in the room across the hall from Buffy. With a heavy sigh she walked over to the window and opened it. The roof pitched rather shallow in front of the window and she climbed out and sat there, watching the sun rise up over the horizon. She ignored the headache that crept up on her and closed her eyes and tried to shut out everything she was feeling and everything she was hearing. All she could feel when she let go of everything else was Buffy.

She couldn't control herself around Buffy. It was harder to control herself around her than it was to keep from stepping off the edge and falling into the darkness that threatened to consume her. It felt easier just to let go, let herself slip off that edge than to deal with what she felt for Buffy.

"Faith?" Buffy called out as she knocked on the bedroom door. "Can I come in?"

She sighed as she climbed back in the room, leaving the window wide open and walked over to the door and opened it slowly. "What you doing up so early?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"Me neither."

"I think we need to talk."

Faith motioned for her to come in as she walked over to the couch and sat down. "We do need to talk."

"Are you controlling me?" Buffy asked as she sat down next to her, keeping her distance. "Like, you being what you are now, does that give you the ability to control me, control my thoughts and the feelings I have for you?"

"Don't know, B. Think I can, but I'm not doing it on purpose."

"What changed between us when we were at Giles'?"

"A lot of things," she shrugged. "I think we just gave into what we always felt. Isn't that what you said?"

"And how have you always felt exactly, Faith?"

"I like you, B. A lot. Always have since the first day I met you," Faith replied and she groaned when she realized how that sounded. "I mean I..."

"Don't try to explain yourself," Buffy smiled as she reached out for Faith's hand and held it gently in her own. "You want to know something?"

"Sure."

"I always kind of felt something for you. For a long time I thought it was because I wasn't sure about the whole being with a woman thing."

"But Satsu changed that for you, didn't she?"

"In some ways she did. Being with her kind of got me to open my eyes a little more, Faith. I don't think I could have seen what was in front of me if I hadn't been with her."

"Should've been me," Faith whispered. "Not her."

"I know."

"You know? Then why wasn't it me?"

"We hated each other for the longest time, we were never friends and I never truly understood why until those couple of days at Giles' house. I expected things to be a lot different with you. I expected you to be rough, demanding, in control over me. You weren't. You were everything I've ever needed."

"I never hated you, B."

Faith sighed as Buffy looked at her with confusion. She wasn't in the mood or the right frame of mind to explain the reasons why to her. Talking about herself, her feelings was something she was never good at. Her mind was there, but it wasn't. The past couple of weeks being chained to a floor had put a block on her mind in a sense. She wanted to tell Buffy a lot of things, wanted to bring her in and help her understand. But she couldn't. Even if she could she wasn't sure where she'd start.

This wasn't like her. She didn't fall in love. She didn't _want_ to share parts of herself nobody ever knew. Something had changed inside of her. The darkness no longer as close as it had been and the feeling of her self-destruction almost non-existent. Yet, she knew she was in love with Buffy. There was no sense in denying it to herself or to her any longer.

"I've always loved you," Faith whispered. "Kept telling myself I didn't and you know something? It never worked. Not then and not now."

"You remember what we talked about at Giles', about this not being some onetime thing?"

"Yeah, I remember."

"I can't deal with it being the way it is right now, Faith. God, ever since I got that chance to be with you all I want is you. I think about you every second of the day. I think about the things we did how amazing it felt to be with you like that and you know something? I can't stop or push those thoughts and feelings aside."

"It isn't going to be easy to make this work."

"I know," Buffy sighed as she slowly moved closer to Faith. "Nothing is ever easy when it comes to us, is it?"

"I think...no I know...we can make this work, Buffy. I just need to learn to trust myself, to let you in and let you trust me. I never...I don't do relationships, you know?"

"Yeah," Buffy smiled as she ran her fingers over the top of Faith's hand before moving to straddle her legs. "I know you've never done the relationship thing. It's probably one of the reasons why I never came forward and told you how I felt years ago."

"Should've, B. We wasted a lot of time."

"We really have."

"So...what now?"

"We'll take it one day at a time," Buffy smiled at her as she lightly kissed her. "One kiss at a time."

"I think you mean 'one step at a time', B."

"Same thing."

Faith smiled against her lips as she pulled her in closer, taking a moment to stare into Buffy's eyes before she kissed her nice and deep. A small, throaty chuckle escaped from her lips as she pulled away and she found herself becoming lost as she stared into Buffy's eyes again. It felt too unreal for them to be the way they were right then. It was what she always wanted, Buffy was what she always wanted and now that she had her, she had the slightest bit of fear that she'd do one thing wrong and she'd lose her.

"What are you thinking about?"

"You," Faith smiled. "I'm always thinking about you, B."

"Good."

"Are you sure I don't have some kind of control over you? That I don't have some kind of thrall that's making you want me?"

"Faith...I already told you. I wanted you before you changed into what you are now. I wanted you even before I was with Satsu. Things are just different now. I'm not fighting it anymore. I can't even if I wanted to."

"Well, now that we got that out of the way, again, what do you say we consummate our relationship with a little..."

Buffy laughed as she got off of Faith and shook her head no. "First things first, Faith. We've never been on a date. If we're going to do this relationship thing, we're going to do it right."

"But..."

"No buts," Buffy smiled as she motioned for Faith to follow her as she walked to the door. "I know it's a lot to ask, but can you at least go along with it for awhile? Who knows, you might even like the whole dating thing."

"Maybe. Where you going?"

"_We_ are going for a run," Buffy replied as she stopped at the door and waited for Faith as she got up from the couch and slowly approached her. "Now that you are here, we're going to train together."

"Train? But, B...I haven't actually trained in years."

"All the more reason to start," she said as she reached for her hand. "Besides, I heard somewhere that running helps you work out some built up frustrations and god knows we both need that."

Faith grumbled under her breath and yet, she loved the way Buffy was being with her right then. It was like they were normal and happy. Two things Faith never had felt before, not until now. The lingering shadow of a doubt that this feeling wouldn't last was definitely there and it disappeared as soon as the two of them were outside and Buffy took off running. With a heavy sigh, Faith ran after her, trying to stop herself from laughing as Buffy headed through the forest, picking up her pace as soon as Faith caught up with her. It was going to be a long morning.


	9. Chapter 9

Running made her feel free and alive. Hours of chasing after Buffy throughout the forest had given her quite the workout. The two of them collapsed in the middle of the courtyard, sweaty, exhausted and Buffy nearly out of breath. The clouds had rolled in on their way back to the castle and Faith could already hear the rain off in the distance and the storm that came with it was fast approaching.

"Never had anyone else that could keep up with me," Buffy laughed. "That was actually fun."

"Yeah, for you maybe," Faith chuckled as she rolled onto her side and stared at Buffy intensely. "Haven't gone on a run like that in years though. Felt good though."

Faith kept her eyes on Buffy, watching her as she closed them and breathed in deeply. She barely flinched when she felt the few raindrops fall against her skin and she barely breathed as Faith leaned over and lightly kissed her lips. Buffy's eyes flew open after a moment and she smiled as she pulled Faith in for a deeper kiss.

"Buffy..."

"Mm, what?"

"We're gonna get soaked," Faith whispered against her lips, not wanting to move but knowing they had to. "Come on."

Faith got up from the ground and pulled a slightly dazed Buffy to her feet. With a smirk and a quiet chuckle, Faith ran for the castle, pulling Buffy with her. It didn't matter how fast they had ran inside, they were soaked to the bone by the time they had made it across the courtyard. It was easy to forget years of fighting how she felt when Buffy pushed her up against the wall just inside the doorway. It was easy to lose herself in the kiss, to feel nothing but Buffy all over her.

The only thing that was hard was to control herself, to control her urges.

Faith shuddered as Buffy moaned into her mouth, the sensations almost pure sex as Faith pulled her in closer, her fingers sliding under the hem of her damp shirt and over her hips. Controlling herself, her urges, proved to be her biggest hurdle yet and she broke apart from the kiss reluctantly and held Buffy away from her. The desire in Buffy's eyes, the need that emanated from her body was too much for Faith to take in, to ignore.

She could feel Buffy's heart racing against her own, driving unseen energy into her and between them. The intensity, the desire, the lust, the need...all of it overwhelmed Faith. It had never been like this, not even during those couple of days they'd spent together. Faith knew she had control over Buffy and she knew that Buffy definitely had some kind of control over her. She bit her lip as Buffy backed away slowly.

"Why are you fighting it?"

"Fighting what, B?"

"I know how much you want me," she whispered as she motioned Faith to follow her. "You keep holding yourself back and right when I think you'll lose that control, you grab a hold of it and shut me out."

"I'm not shutting you out. We were going to try the whole 'dating' thing, weren't we?"

"Isn't it funny?" Buffy laughed as she stopped at the foot of the stairs and faced her.

"What is funny?"

"How we seemed to just fall into this and how easily we seemed to fall into bed together when we were back at Giles' house. I keep asking myself why, keep asking myself how and you know what answer keeps coming up?"

"No, what?"

"That this is how it should have always been. Stop fighting it, Faith. It's hurting both of us. I can see just how much it is."

Faith sighed as she sat down on the last step and looked up at Buffy. "I'm holding myself back only cos I'm afraid of what will happen if I just give in and let go. Besides, B. You weren't up for this earlier. Why the sudden change?"

"You're fighting your dark side and I'm fighting mine. _You_ are my dark side, Faith. I don't want to fight it anymore. I don't think I have the strength to fight it anymore. I don't think you do either."

Faith sighed as she stood up and gently wrapped her arms around Buffy. "You know how I feel about you and me being together. I keep thinking we're pulling ourselves into something we both aren't ready for, you know?"

Buffy nodded her head slowly as she ran her fingers over the back of Faith's neck, their eyes locking for a moment before Buffy pulled her in for a deep, passionate kiss. Faith grinned against her lips as she backed Buffy up to the wall next to the stairs. She trailed her tongue over her jaw, watching her as her eyes closed and her body tensed against her own.

"Buffy?" Willow said softly as she rounded the corner and stopped in her tracks. "I've been looking for you. Where have you been?"

"Running," she replied breathlessly as she stared at Faith. She broke the gaze as she pushed Faith away from her and turned to Willow and smiled. "Did you need me for something?"

"We had a meeting today. Remember?"

"Giles is here?"

"Angel is too," Willow nodded. "Uh why don't you two change into some dry clothes and meet us down in the study in ten minutes."

"Angel and Giles are here?" Faith asked as she followed Buffy up the stairs. "What's going on?"

"I don't know about you, but I do want to know why they did what they did to you."

"I know why, Buffy."

"Well, I want to know. There's more to it, Faith. We can't just let it go without getting to the bottom of it."

"Sure we can," Faith laughed as she stopped on the stairs and looked up at Buffy. "Come on. I'm a monster now, look at me! You are just as bad as they are. Wanting to change me back. You can't change me back, Buffy. Nobody can."

"I never said anything about wanting to change you back," Buffy sighed as she shook her head and continued up the stairs. "If you hadn't been able to tell, things are actually better for us now. Why would I want to change you back? So I can lose you again? Become distant?"

"Buffy, you never had me."

"Do I not have you now?"

"I'm not some...piece of property you can own," Faith said with disgust in her voice. "I think they were right. I do have some kind of control over you. It's not right."

"It's not wrong either."

Faith shook her head and yet, followed Buffy into the bedroom. Buffy threw her a clean pair of sweatpants and a tank top. Faith couldn't take her eyes off of Buffy as she stripped out of her clothes and quickly changed. Never had she felt so conflicted before. She knew what she wanted, it was right there in front of her feeling the same things she felt. She was just denying it to herself, fighting it. Somewhere deep down inside of her she didn't feel like she deserved to be with Buffy, that she didn't deserve to know what love was and she didn't deserve to be happy.

She clutched onto the dry clothes and sat on the edge of the bed. She was close to breaking down, to losing control of her feelings and the second Buffy sat down next to her and placed a hand on her shoulder that was it. The tears began to flow with no sign of them stopping any time soon.

"You okay?" Buffy asked gently as she pulled her in close. "Faith, why are you crying? You can tell me. Whatever you are feeling right now...just tell me, please?"

"I don't...I feel like I don't deserve anything. I don't deserve you. Everything that's happened to me...it's too much, Buffy. I don't know how to deal anymore. I just want to give up."

"No," she whispered as she kissed away her tears. "Don't give up, Faith."

"You have no idea what it's like to be what I am now. These feelings, the way I feel inside. I can't handle it. I almost can't stand to be around you, B. I had a taste and that's all I can fucking think about is having more."

"I wish there was something I could do for you," she sighed as she lightly kissed Faith on the lips. Before the kiss grew deeper Buffy pulled away from her and smiled. "You know, you have changed a lot and not just in the obvious ways. The more you open up, the more I start to see you for who you really are."

"Does it scare you? Push you away?"

"No," Buffy said as she shook her head. "It just makes me fall for you even more so."

"Did it hurt?"

"Did what hurt?"

"When you fell for me?" Faith asked, chuckling at her own lame attempt at a joke to break the depressing mood that fell upon them. "That was pretty fucking pathetic."

"Yeah," Buffy laughed. "And to answer your question, yes, it hurt. A lot. You know what hurts more though? Seeing you like this and not being able to do a damn thing about it."

Any other time Faith would have pushed her away. But she was tired of pushing her away. Tired of holding herself back and tired of telling herself she didn't deserve this, whatever _this_ would end up being between them. She was tired of fighting the inner battle to keep from falling over the edge. Far as she was now concerned, she was already falling off the edge and all she needed was to find her way back.

"Why don't you get changed and we'll go down for this meeting and figure out everything else afterwards," Buffy said as she stood up from the bed and smiled sweetly down at Faith.

Faith only nodded and waited until Buffy had walked out of the room before she stripped from her damp clothes and pulled on the dry ones. They smelled of Buffy even though they were clean and she sighed deeply as she opened the bedroom door and wrapped her arms around Buffy.

"We'll make it work, right?"

"Of course we will," Buffy smiled as she gently kissed her. "No matter what, we'll make it work."

"No broken or empty promises?" Faith asked, knowing her heart and soul couldn't deal with any more disappointments in life.

"No more broken or empty promises, I promise you that. Come on, everyone is waiting for us. Let's find out what the hell is going on and we'll go from there."

Faith said not another word as Buffy took her hand and led her down to the study where Giles, Angel and Willow were waiting for them. Faith tried to let go of her hand as soon as they walked into the large study, but Buffy held a firm grip. Angel frowned at both of them as they sat down on the small love seat together and for the longest time nobody spoke. The silence in the air was heavy, the tension thick and Faith was focusing hard at blocking everyone out.

Giles and Angel calmly explained the things they knew about Faith, about Edward and his family. Faith kept blocking them out. She already knew everything they were saying and the more she heard about these things, the more she was starting to hate herself. As soon as Buffy's tight and firm grip on her hand loosened, she got up and walked to the window, careful not to draw back the curtains too much and stared outside.

A prisoner is what she felt like. Trapped in her body with a soul that was far from being perfect, far from being happy. Every time she took a step forwards, something or someone always pushed her a dozen steps back. The rain trickling down the windowpane mirrored the tears that fell from her eyes. The tears had only began to fall when she heard Giles tell them that it would be impossible for Faith to ever be herself again, impossible to rid of the demon trapped inside of her.

"It's hopeless," Faith whispered as she turned to look at them. "It's completely hopeless. You came here to tell me things I already knew. What the fuck is the point in doing that?"

"We came here because Willow and Buffy asked us to come here. They wanted to hear another side of things," Angel said calmly. "We're all afraid for you, Faith."

"You mean afraid _of_ me. Of me, Angel, not for me. Just admit it. You are all afraid of me!"

"Faith..."

"Do not fucking touch me, Angel!"

Faith completely lost it at that simple, friendly gesture as Angel laid a hand on her shoulder. She lost her self-control and shoved Angel clear across the room. She wanted to kill him, the need there so strong and so tempting. She barely glanced at a very shocked Buffy as she walked across the room and grabbed Angel by the throat and lifted him up from the ground.

"Have you lost your mind?"

"Probably," Faith laughed as she let go of him.

"Are you going to be okay?" Angel asked as he looked into her eyes. "Faith?"

She was shaking as she backed herself into the nearest corner. "I can't hold onto anything. My thoughts, my feelings, they are all over the place. What did you do to me, Angel? What did you do to me when you had me chained to the fucking floor? Answer me!"

Her trigger had been switched and she had lost it completely by then. Shaking uncontrollably, unable to shut her emotions off, unable to block out everyone else's. Through the tears in her eyes she watched Angel back away from her slowly, shaking his head in disbelief at the display she was putting on.

"Faith?" Buffy whispered as she knelt down on the floor next to her.

"Don't."

"What's going on, Faith? Talk to me," Buffy said as she wrapped her arms around Faith and pulled her in close. "Tell me, please?"

"It's too much."

"What is?"

"Everything," Faith cried and she scoffed at herself as she tried to stop the torrent of tears. "How pathetic is this?"

"Faith, you're having an emotional breakdown," Willow said as she slowly approached her and Buffy huddled down in the corner still. "Can't say it is a normal thing, but considering everything you've just been through it's completely understandable why you're breaking down."

"It just won't stop."

"What won't stop?" Buffy asked her, glancing at Willow for a moment before she looked back at Faith. "What won't stop? Faith?"

"My life."

****

Buffy stood at the foot of her bed and watched as Faith slept a sound yet restless sleep. It scared her to see Faith break apart the way she had and she knew it could have been a lot worse. Willow opened the door quietly and motioned for her to come out into the hallway.

"How's she doing?"

"Don't know. She's been sleeping since she passed out downstairs."

"She's going through a lot right now," Willow sighed as she peered around Buffy to look in at Faith. "I think she'll need some time to adjust."

"Adjust to what? Her feelings, her change, me?"

"Everything."

"It's hard to watch her go through this, Will."

"I know," she sighed again, louder this time as she pulled Buffy in for a hug. "I think with everything that's going on it is just too much for her. Maybe you should..."

"Should what?"

"Put off on doing the whole 'relationship' thing until she can get in control of herself?"

Buffy shook her head but knew Willow was probably right. "Right when I have a chance to be with her it all goes to shit at the drop of a hat. I don't understand why things have to be so hard between us. I mean I do understand, with our history and everything, but those days are long over."

"But not forgotten."

"I know."

"You do have to understand what she is going through right now, Buffy. What she is now...considering she still has a soul, it is torturing her."

"Like Angel?"

"No, not like Angel. It is torturing her in a completely different way. Giles and Angel were talking about it, trying to explore the different possibilities of how she is feeling and just what she is going through. It's hard because she's unique. Never has there been one of her kind before, not even Edward or his family and the history on them comes close to what she is."

"Every time she opens up and lets me inside she pushes me away again."

"You and I both know that is just how she is, Buffy. You can't expect someone just to change and stop being like that. All you can do is be patient. Give her time to adjust, time to deal and move on."

"What if she never does?"

"Then you'll have to give up on her and move on yourself, Buffy. Come on, let's go down to the kitchen and talk over a cup of tea."

"Will, I feel like a complete love-struck fool right now. I run to her after Satsu broke up with me, see a side of her I never saw before then I go to see Giles and she's there and she's different. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Nothing is wrong with you," Willow laughed as they walked down the long hallway towards the stairs. "It's just love, Buffy. You know what I think? I think you waited so long to accept your feelings for Faith and now that you have it's almost too much for both of you to take in. Has she told you how she feels about you?"

"She told me she loves me."

"I sense a 'but' in there."

"But, I don't know...I just wish things could be different. I wish she wouldn't feel like she doesn't deserve me because I know she does."

"Oh Buffy," Willow sighed as she hugged her close as Buffy's tears started to fall. "I think the crying and emotional thing is contagious today."

Buffy laughed a little and they walked the rest of the way to the kitchen in silence. Giles was already sitting in there with Angel and Xander. Willow got two cups and made the two of them some tea. Buffy sat down at the table next to Xander, smiling a little at him as he put his arm around her.

"You okay, Buff?"

"I'll be fine."

"You sure? We're trying to..."

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't try to do anything," she sighed. "Whatever you guys are trying to do to help Faith isn't helping her at all. You saw the way she broke down. Do you think that's normal?"

Nobody said a word. The room felt completely silent and nothing could be heard but the boiling kettle on the stove. Buffy sighed as she took the cup of tea from Willow and placed it down on the table in front of her. Buffy bit her lip as she fought off her tears. She'd always had to deal with so much in her life and dealing with Faith, her feelings for her was proving to be the hardest of life's hurdles so far.

"I know what we have to do," Willow spoke up quietly, breaking through the silence in the room. "I don't think we're going about this the right way, you know? Trying to understand what Faith is now is getting us nowhere. Maybe we should just try and understand who she is inside, who she always has been then we'll be able to understand everything else."

"It's a long hard road," Angel said with a soft smile. "But once she trusts herself to trust others and opens up, it gets easier."

"It is going to be hard," Giles nodded as he took a sip of his tea. "But what she needs is friends in her life, friends that care about her and love her and won't push her."

"And Buffy?" Angel asked as he looked over at her. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "I just want...I want to show her what it is like to be loved if only she'd let me. I wish she'd stop pushing me away."

"Be her friend first, lover second," Angel said softly. "Might be a little too late, but you have to try."

"Can you believe this?" Buffy laughed as she wiped away the tears that had fallen. "We're all sitting around talking about Faith when none of us said a word about her in four years."

"Nobody has seen her in four years, Buff," Xander said as he put his arm around her again. "It's nobody's fault. People grow distant. They grow apart even though in Faith's case she was never close with any of us. Giles is right though. What she needs is friends in her life that care about her and love her. I don't know about everyone else, but I am willing to try and be one of those friends."

"I hate to say it, but don't you think it's almost too late?" Willow asked. "Look at our history with Faith. It hasn't exactly been sunshine and rainbows. The past is the past. It can be forgotten and left behind. Whether it's almost too late or not, I'm with Xander on this. I'm willing to try too."

They sat there for awhile, the conversation quickly changing over to how they would deal with Edward's family when the time came. There was no way that any of them were going to let Faith deal with them on her own. Faith was one of them, technically speaking, and they'd always had looked out for one another no matter what. It was agreed that no solid plans were going to be made until they found out more about Edward's family and just why they were so dead set on getting revenge on Faith, aside from the very obvious reason of course.

It was late by the time Buffy made her way back up to her room. Faith was still sound asleep and just a little less restless than she'd been before. With every passing minute, with every feeling she felt and every thought she had, she began to understand Faith that little bit more. It wasn't just Faith and what she was feeling that Buffy was starting to understand, it was herself and her feelings she had buried so long ago had completely surfaced.

"Buffy?" Faith said softly as she sat up in the bed as Buffy walked into the room. "I was hoping it'd just be you."

"Who else would be with me?"

Faith shrugged, watching her as she walked to the bed and sat down, keeping her distance. "Heard you all talking down there. Wasn't trying to, you know?"

"Oh yeah?"

"Feels weird having people care about me. Got no reason to."

"Of course they do."

"I know, B. I'm just saying," Faith chuckled a little as she pulled Buffy a little closer to her and kept her arm around her until Buffy relaxed. "I never knew what it felt like before. Always did envy you for having friends that cared about you and loved you. Guess I can stop with the whole envy thing now, huh?"

"Yeah."

"What a fucking depressing day," Faith sighed out. "Sorry for breaking down like that. Couldn't seem to hold myself together."

"It's okay," Buffy whispered as she reached for Faith's other hand and intertwined their fingers. "I have to admit that I feel a little guilty."

"What for?"

Buffy sighed, not sure whether she should tell Faith that she felt guilty for going to LA, for being honest with her then leaving her the way she had. She felt guilty she hadn't tried to save her from herself and from the vampires that turned her.

"You know I can read your thoughts," Faith whispered. "Don't feel guilty about anything, Buffy. Was all my fault. Seeing you again changed things, you know?"

"Things have definitely changed," Buffy smiled as she squeezed her hand gently. "The whole mind reading thing though? It kind of freaks me out a little."

"Don't try to do it," Faith shrugged. "Just like I try not to feel what you are feeling. Realized during those few days we were at Giles' that it wasn't worth trying not to feel, trying to separate what I felt and what I felt coming from you. We were feeling the same things. Still are."

"I want things to work out between us because they never have before."

"What makes you think they will this time?"

"I don't know," Buffy sighed. "We never really tried to make things work in the past."

"We were never lovers until a couple of weeks ago."

"I meant as friends, Faith."

"Potato, tomato."

"Don't think that's how it goes," Buffy laughed.

"Not like it matters."

"No, it doesn't. A lot of things don't. Not anymore."

"So, it's just that easy?"

"Yeah," Buffy smiled. "It can be that easy if you let it."

"I did tell you I don't do relationships, right?"

"You did. Several times."

"Well, I take it back. Think I'm gonna try, like really try this time. Won't kill me if I try right? Considering I'm half dead already."

Buffy laughed and sighed as she laid her head against Faith's shoulder. "We still need to have an official date."

"Well, dinner is out of the way cos I can't exactly eat unless you buy me steak that is raw."

Buffy shuddered and looked her, making a face as Faith laughed. "So, a food date is out of the question then. What if I took you out for drinks, maybe go dancing and afterwards finish off the night with some slaying?"

"Like old times, almost?" Faith asked, her eyes brightening at the thought. "Would love that, B."

"We'll talk more in the morning," Buffy said with a yawn she couldn't suppress any longer. "Been a very long day."

Buffy closed her eyes as Faith held her close. She couldn't help but smile, just a little. Every time things took a turn for the worse, they ended up turning around sooner or later. They'd already been to the worst of their relationship and that had been years ago. Leaving the past behind was easier said than done, but Buffy was willing to try. Love sure was a funny thing sometimes, yet, she loved every second of it despite the many setbacks and shortfalls they continued to have.

****

Faith sat on the shallow pitch of the roof just outside of Buffy's bedroom window. The sun was about to rise, she could feel it, taste it and see the first rays breaking through the darkness in the sky. She was emotionally drained. Everything she felt she wanted to not feel anymore. Flicking the lighter in her hand, she sighed and lit the cigarette that had been dangling from her lips for the last half hour unlit.

The last couple of weeks had felt like a lifetime to her. Everything had changed and nothing was ever going to be the same again, not with herself and definitely not between her and Buffy. For once in her life she was starting to accept the changes. No more pushing people away, no more slinking beyond the shadows, putting up walls to keep everyone out. The more she let Buffy in, the more she felt a slice of her humanity begin to overtake the demon inside of her.

"Hey," Buffy smiled at her as she leaned out the window. "What you doing out here?"

Faith held up the cigarette and sighed as she turned to look at her. "Sleep okay?"

"Yeah," she nodded as she climbed out the window and sat next to her. "Sitting out here to watch the sun rise?"

"It's beautiful," Faith whispered. "Every ray of light that hits the sky, it's breathtaking."

"It really is," Buffy smiled as she pulled Faith's arm around her and settled in close. "I know I can't see it the way you do, but I can just imagine."

"Would you ever want to?"

Faith realized what she had said and sighed as Buffy shrugged and moved so she was sitting in front of her in between her legs. Buffy took the cigarette from her and flicked it over the edge of the roof and pulled both of Faith's arms around her.

"I don't know," Buffy sighed. "I see what you have to go through being like this and I want to understand what it is like for you. You didn't really have a choice."

"I did. I let them. I don't know what I was thinking. Maybe cos I wasn't thinking, you know?"

"It isn't your fault, Faith. We all do stupid things in our lives, make stupid mistakes. This is just one of those mistakes you have to live with."

"But," Faith smiled as she breathed in deeply and kissed the side of Buffy's neck. "It brought us together. Can't be that big of a mistake if it did that, right?"

Buffy only nodded and leaned in closer to Faith. They both sighed out and sat there and watched the sun rise together in silence. Faith could feel the warmth, the life and the power radiating off of Buffy, drawing her in yet pushing her away at the same time. She knew she shouldn't feel like she was being pushed away. It was one of those feelings she couldn't get rid of no matter how hard she tried.

Faith ran her fingers over Buffy's stomach, smiling to herself when she felt her heart rate pick up. All it took was a single, simple touch and Buffy was almost under her control. It was a sense of power she'd always had over others. It was one of those things she knew she'd have to control. As much as she wanted Buffy, wanted to touch her, kiss her and taste her in more ways than the obvious, she knew she'd have to wait for Buffy to want it first, to initiate it, to make that first move.

She had another edge to worry about falling off of now. One she'd never thought she'd have to worry about. It wasn't darkness, it wasn't self-destruction. It was control over herself. Over her feelings and needs. Buffy wasn't just her anchor, she was her release. Buffy would be the one to hold her back and push her over the edge all once.

Faith wasn't sure whether to hold on tight or let go.


	10. Chapter 10

It was a nightmare. It had to be.

But, she knew it was real. Edward's family had found her, captured her and now they were going to kill her. Or worse. Let her live, but not without giving them what they wanted first.

Buffy.

Faith was chained again for the second time in less than a month. The only difference this time she wasn't on the floor and there was nobody there she knew she could trust not to kill her. There were only three of them, two men and a woman who Faith hadn't seen much of since they captured her and brought her here, wherever _here_ was. It was a like a faded, drunken memory. Last she could remember was the morning she spent with Buffy on the rooftop watching the sun rise and then going for another run.

That's when they'd grabbed her, when she ran off the path away from Buffy, thinking she'd be able to get ahead and scare her. It was a little game they'd been playing that morning, running around and laughing like a pair of children with endless freedom.

She laughed into the dark, empty and damp room. Memories. That's all that was keeping her sane, keeping her from losing herself completely. It was what _they_ wanted her to do, lose herself to the demon inside of her.

"Is she awake?" Faith heard the woman speak softly as the heavy door unlatched and opened. "Do we do it now or do we wait?"

"We wait," the eldest of the two men said as the three of them walked into the room and flipped on the bright florescent lights. "Ah, you are awake. How are you feeling?"

"Let me go," Faith breathed out, her throat dry.

"We cannot," he grinned as he strolled up to her slowly. "You took our son. You think we'll just let you get away with that with a smack on the wrist?"

"Maybe," Faith shrugged. She smirked when she saw anger flicker in the man's stone cold blue eyes.

"You were asked to do one thing," he sighed as he pulled out a long knife from the sheath on his belt. "One little, simple thing. To bring the other to us."

"Not what Eddie boy asked me to do. He wanted me to turn her into one of us."

He slapped her across the face and held the knife to her throat. "Edward. His name was Edward. You are very disrespectful, aren't you?"

"I am."

"Laurence, maybe we should wait..."

"Nadine, not now!"

Faith chuckled, feeling the cool, sharp blade press into her skin. "Big bad vampire named Laurence? Classic. Fucking classic."

The two vampires backed away, talking quietly for a moment before the woman left. Faith smirked as she flexed her hands, hoping to get out of the restraints holding her to the wall. No such luck. She knew what she had to do to get out of this situation. She had to play along. Play their games.

"Faith, you've disrespected this family, our kind. We should kill you, but that would be rather pointless," Laurence chuckled as he put the knife back in its sheath and pulled out a wooden stake. "Get it, pointless?"

"Lame."

"We saw you with her, the other slayer," he went on, ignoring her remark. "You've fallen for her, haven't you? I can smell her all over you, Faith. You want her now because you have a sense of control over her."

"I fell for her a long time ago, jackass. And no, I'm not going to bring her to you and I am not going to turn her, not for you or anyone else."

"What about for yourself? Love like that," he smirked as he licked his lips. "Love like that should be forever. I would know. Nadine was my human lover many years ago. It got to the point where it nearly killed me to think she would grow old and wither away to nothing while I stayed like this."

Faith relaxed a little as he began to pace in front of her, twirling the stake in his fingers as he smiled to himself. He was thinking of his past, of his love for Nadine and she could feel it. It was strong, powerful love. The kind of love she felt she'd never know. The kind of love she only hoped she'd find one day.

"You are something else," Laurence said with a laugh as he stopped and looked at her. "I see what Edward saw in you. Potential. I've just had a thought. We're going about this with you entirely the wrong way. It isn't revenge we should be seeking."

"Then what? Cos if you want me to join forces with you my answer is...fuck that and fuck you."

"I've always had a soft spot in my barely beating heart for beautiful love struck brunettes. Life isn't about revenge and getting even. I believe you know that all too well," Laurence chuckled as he tossed the stake to the ground next to him. "Guess it was something Edward overlooked when he chose you, Faith. He didn't see how much you cared for her or he did and he planned to use that against you."

"Your point, Larry?"

"He called when he turned you, excited like a little boy on Christmas morning. Couldn't believe he finally got a slayer, finally turned one. Centuries of trying and failing and he finally lucked out. Then he told me that he knew he couldn't trust you. Never did I imagine he'd be right. He'd never been right a day in his life."

Faith chuckled as she cocked her head to the side and studied Laurence. "Well, I always say to people not to trust me. Good to know it rings true."

"I am sure you are more than curious why you are here if we don't want revenge," Laurence said softly as he pulled out a set of keys from the front pocket of his sharp navy blue blazer. "Do you want to make a wild guess or should I just tell you?"

"Tell me, Larry."

"I wanted to see you. Talk with you. Figured you wouldn't if we didn't capture you and bring you here."

"And where is here?"

"Couple miles from the castle you've been staying in. And no," he laughed as he unlocked the restrains and stepped back. "Your friends won't be able to find you here."

"Is that it? You are just going to let me go?"

"I am," he nodded. "But I'm not so sure about Christopher. He's not quite as reasonable as I am. He wants you dead, Faith."

"Then why did you just let me go?"

"You have more power of control than you know. Never met another one of us that could have that kind of power the way they do over humans. I do not want to let you go, but..."

"But what? Not like you could stop me if I tried," Faith chuckled as she took a tentative step forward, studying his reaction. "If all this happened over one fucking month ago it'd be different."

"How?"

"Cos it just would!"

"Ah," Laurence smirked as he watched Faith bend down to pick up the stake. "Fresh, new love. Should have sensed that."

Faith moved quickly and pinned him against the wall, holding the sharp point of the stake directly over his heart. "Look, I'm tired of people coming and trying to fuck up my life. Sorry about your boy Eddie, but he had what was coming to him. I don't take no fucking orders from anyone but myself."

Breathing heavily, she stared into Laurence's eyes. She dropped the stake to the ground as she stepped back, shaking and unable to push away the fear she felt coming from him. Like a scared little girl she lost it and backed up to the furthest wall and slinked down to the floor. Crying she held her knees to her chest and let it out.

"The human in you drives your emotions. The demon tempts you to fall into the darkness and the slayer," Laurence said softly as he approached her and knelt down. He reached out and tilted her chin so she'd look at him. "The slayer keeps you strong. It is admirable. Never seen such a mix of emotions before, never felt them as strong as I feel them from you. Your life hasn't been easy and it never will."

"Yeah, and? You gonna pity me now? The messed up girl from the bad part of Boston who fucked up her whole life and started to turn it around before having it taken away again?"

"No pity. Not from me."

"What then?"

"Did Edward know how complex you are?"

"Saw some sides of it. Kept telling me to lose the attitude."

Laurence chuckled as he pulled her to her feet. "Always had been one to see only what he wanted to see. Still, whatever he was doing with you didn't give you the right to kill him."

"I'm a slayer, Larry."

"I know. You are also a human and a vampire."

"I don't like to be controlled."

"Nobody does, not by choice anyway."

"What the hell do you want from me?"

"A chance to prove to you we are not like the others and that we are definitely not like Edward. Somewhere along the line the whole revenge thing got spun out of control. You know how it is," Laurence smiled warmly as Nadine came back in and stood in the doorway.

"Everything okay in here?"

"Everything will be fine, Nadine."

"Christopher is fuming. He wants her blood on his hands or rather, her dust," she chuckled as she shook her head. "Should have been Christopher you took out, not Eddie."

"Heh," Faith laughed as she wiped away the few tears still on her cheeks. "Good to know I wasn't the only one who called him Eddie."

"Did he always correct you?"

"Yeah, never failed to do it every time," Faith smiled and she studied Nadine for a moment, waiting to feel anything else other than warmth, calming and humour in the situation. "Know where a girl can get a drink around here?"

"We keep a..." Nadine paused for a moment as Laurence nodded at her. "A human in the other cell. He wants us to turn him, but we won't. He'll do anything for us because he truly believes if he does, we will."

"No," Faith shook her head. "Nothing straight from the source."

"You'll drink dead blood?"

"Keeps me alive, quenches the thirst," she shrugged. The two made a face at her and she only laughed. "What, so I haven't got the whole being a vampire thing down. Keeps me from draining the love of my life."

"I wish I had your enthusiasm, your courage and will," Laurence said as he walked over to Nadine and wrapped his arms around her. "But, I'm glad I didn't. I wouldn't have my love here with me now if I did."

With that, the two walked out and slammed the door shut behind them, locking it before Faith could reach it. She pounded on the heavy reinforced door. Only faintly could she hear the two laughing on the other side and then their retreating footsteps as they left her down there alone.

"Fucking hell," she screamed out as she pounded on the door until her hands were bloody and swollen. "Let me out of here! Stupid fuckers! Do you hear me? Let me out of here now!"

They played her, led her on. For what reasons, she didn't know, but she was going to damn well find out. When she did, they'd be nothing dust when she was finished with them.

****

Buffy paced around the study, unable to keep her tears from falling uncontrollably. Angel, Willow and Giles were deep in research mode, trying to find everything they could on Edward's family and their history. Like before, they came up with nothing that would help them find Faith.

"Did you guys find anything yet?"

"No," Willow frowned as she looked up at Buffy. "Wherever they took here they have some type of barrier. I can't locate her and I can't find her, Buffy. I'm sorry."

"What about the vampires that took her?"

"Still nothing," Giles sighed as he removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "It's getting late. We should call it a night."

"And just give up on her like that?"

"Buffy..."

"Don't!" Buffy nearly yelled as she walked over to the table and picked up the book Giles had just closed. "We can't just give up on her!"

"Faith is capable of taking care of herself," Angel said softly as he took the book from her hands and placed it down on the table. "Giles is right. It's late. You could all do with some rest. I'll go out, look around. Maybe I'll find something? Maybe I'll find her, who knows?"

"I'm coming with you."

"No, Buffy. You need to stay right here. It could be dangerous," Angel said as he stared at her long and hard. "I know how you feel about her. You know she can take care of herself no matter what kind of situation she finds herself in. Her adaptability skills are strong, her survival skills even stronger. If only you knew..."

"Knew what?"

"What she'd gone through in the last four years you wouldn't worry about her."

"What has she gone through?" Buffy demanded as Willow and Giles quietly left the study. "Angel, tell me."

"It isn't my place or my right to tell you. If she wants you to know, she'll tell you herself."

"Whatever," Buffy sighed, feeling frustrated and angry and tired. "I'm coming with you whether or not you want me to."

Angel sighed, giving her the look that let her know she'd won the argument. With a sly smile she followed him outside. It was chilly yet damp outside and fog covered the castle grounds and beyond. They walked through the forest in silence and when Angel stopped he looked around and inhaled deeply.

"They took her through there," he said softly as he pointed down to an overgrown path. "Are you sure you still want to come? It doesn't feel safe."

"If it isn't safe for me it isn't safe for you, Angel. Two of us is better than one."

"We don't know how many there are."

"Doesn't matter. As soon as we find her, she'll be fighting with us."

"Unless..."

"Don't," Buffy stopped him as she choked back her tears. "Don't say it."

"It's possible," Angel said with a shrug as they headed down the overgrown pathway. "Anything is possible. She let them turn her without a fight. She was weak..."

Buffy grabbed him and slammed him against the nearest tree. "She was only weak because of me. I have to live with that guilt, Angel. I don't need you rubbing it in my face."

Buffy stood there close to him, feeling the coldness of his body and breath as he stared at her. Such a stark contrast to how Faith felt. She was warm. She still had life inside of her. Life Angel never had, but only could dream of. With a heavy sigh she let him go and continued down the pathway with him following close behind her. It was close to an hour before Angel stopped her and pointed through the opening to a small dark castle ahead of them.

"Been here before?" Angel asked as they kept to the shadows.

"No. Never even knew it was here."

"Feel that?"

"What?"

Angel took her hand and held it out and she yanked it back as she felt the air nearly burn her fingers. "The barrier that Willow talked about. Nothing, no human nor demon can get through."

"What about you?"

"It's complicated," Angel replied as he ran his hand over his hair and sighed. "The barrier isn't meant to keep vampires out."

"Now I have no choice but to stay right here while you go in and save the day?" Buffy asked as she rolled her eyes. "Great."

"You should go back. I'm going to check the place out, see if I can find anything."

"But..."

"Go, Buffy. There is nothing you can do here."

Angel walked through the invisible barrier and turned to look at her, pleading her with his eyes for her to go back. With a sigh she turned and started walking, occasionally looking over her shoulder back at him. As soon as she saw him walking up to the castle she turned back and hid herself behind a row of bushes and watched. There was no way she was leaving, not until she knew, not until Faith was out of there safely.

Buffy knew she was still alive, she could only faintly feel her. She watched Angel approach the castle and scale the small wall that surrounded it. She sat there for what felt like hours when in reality she knew was only minutes. When she saw Angel scale back over the wall, her heart dropped. Faith wasn't with him and the look on his face showed he had no good news, no hope.

"I thought I told you to go back?" Angel hissed at her as she stepped out from behind the bushes as soon as he was on the other side of the barrier. "You never were one to listen."

"No," she laughed a little as they began to walk back. "What'd you see?"

"Not much. There are three of them from what I saw. Doesn't look like much of a fight from what I can tell by looking at them, but looks are deceiving as we both know all too well."

"She's in there, Angel."

"I know. I heard them talking about what they were going to do with her. They have her locked up in the cellar. Locked, not chained."

"How are we going to get her out of there?"

"Haven't thought that far yet," Angel shrugged. "But, we're going to need some help."

"We can't leave her there for long."

"No, we really can't. They've been playing a twisted mind game with her, trying to earn some trust, shed her fear then turn it all around on her. They are trying to break her down, push her over the edge. We all know what happened the last time and I don't think her soul would be able to take it this time."

Neither spoke the rest of the walk back to the castle. Buffy was lost in her own thoughts, trying to come up with ways to break through the barrier herself, take down the vampires that were holding Faith captive and rescue her. Faith didn't need rescuing, even in this instance. Buffy just had a small gut feeling that somehow, some way Faith would get out on her own.

It was a waiting game now and no matter how much it ate away at her with her guilt, her fear, her worry, she knew she had to have faith and hope.

She said not a word to Angel when they reached the castle. He went down to the basement to settle in for the day that was fast approaching and she headed for her room, her heart feeling heavy and her eyes brimming with tears.

"It was never supposed to be this way," she said to herself quietly as she opened the door to her room.

"Be what way?" Willow asked. "Buffy?

"The way things are right now."

"What do you mean?"

"I should have dragged her out of the bar. I shouldn't have left her there alone! When we ran into each other that night I went out and drank myself stupid, she took me back to her place and kept me safe. What did I do for her? I left her!"

"Buffy..."

"It's my fault, Will. I pushed her into confessing her feelings for me when she wasn't ready to, when she didn't want to. I..."

Willow sighed as she hugged Buffy closed. "It isn't your fault, Buffy. You shouldn't feel guilty."

"I know. I can't help it."

"You love her," Willow said softly as she let go of Buffy. "She's not here right now and I think that is what is making you feel this way. We'll get her back and when we do we'll all make sure nothing else happens, okay?"

"The barrier," Buffy sighed out as she reached for the light switch and flipped it on. "It wouldn't let me through, but Angel could."

"What are you saying?"

"If I had gotten Faith to turn me, I could have gone through. I could have saved her, Will."

"No, don't think like that, Buffy."

"I keep thinking about it and I..."

"No," Willow shook her head. "Don't. She didn't have a choice and you are making a foolish one right now. As your best friend I will not let that happen to you whether you want it or not."

Buffy sighed out, fighting off her tears as she stepped into her room and closed the door. She locked it and listened as Willow walked down the hallway to her own room. It wasn't until she reached her bed and collapsed on it that she realized that in some ways it was a foolish way of thinking. It was also a very logical one.

She wanted to be with Faith. Forever if she could. The only way they could have a forever would be for her to become what Faith is now.

"Crazy talk," Buffy laughed to herself as she buried her face into the pillow. "Then again, love does make you do a lot of crazy things sometimes."

****

Faith paced around the room, her cell. She desperately trying to figure out a way to get out of there and no matter what plan she did come up with, she knew they wouldn't work in the end. She was tired yet she couldn't shut off her thoughts running through her mind.

It was worse than prison. At least when she had been in prison all those years ago she was fed, she could shower and go outside. It was solitary confinement and it was driving her insane.

Laurence, Nadine and Christopher wanted Buffy, she knew that much. The more she started to think about it the more it made sense as to why she was there. They wanted Buffy to come to them, make it easier. She hoped with every bit of hope and faith she had in her that Buffy wouldn't try to come to her, wouldn't try to save her. But, she also knew Buffy was stubborn and if she wanted to come to her, to save her, she wouldn't let anything stop her.

"Hungry?" Nadine asked as she opened the door. "You know we aren't complete animals. We aren't going to let our newest guest starve."

"Fuck you."

"You said you liked dead blood?" Nadine smirked as she walked in with a large mug in her hands. "This isn't too dead. Our human was more than willing. Drink. Would really hate to see you waste away to nothing before your lover comes for you."

Faith grabbed the mug from her, the coppery yet sweet smell driving her even more insane than being locked up was. She sniffed it, wondering if they'd try to poison her. Maybe they were. Maybe it'd be better that way. If they tried to poison her and she died, Buffy wouldn't have a reason to come after her and she'd be safe.

"You aren't selfish, are you?" Nadine asked as she stared at Faith. "How rare that is in this day and age."

"What the fuck you talking about?"

"You may not be selfish, but you are naive."

"Nadine, go fuck yourself."

"Nah," she laughed as she backed to the door. "Got Laurence to do that for me."

"Nice to know Larry boy can satisfy your needs," Faith smirked as she took a small sip and nearly choked. "It's cold."

"Well, what did you expect?"

"Could have at least heated it for me."

Nadine tittered as she walked towards Faith and stood only a mere few inches from her. It gave Faith a chance to really look at her. She was beautiful, long black hair, fair skin and green eyes that reminded her of Buffy's. Faith slowly licked her lips, trying to keep the smirk off her face as she watched Nadine carefully.

"Figured," Faith laughed as she stepped back and took another sip, only groaning a little as she swallowed. "You got Larry, but you want me."

"You are rather beautiful," Nadine said softly as she stepped towards her. With every step she took, Faith stepped back until she reached the wall and had nowhere else to go. "You know, vampires have never been one to stick to the rules of monogamy."

"Well, humans don't either, not all of them anyway. I changed. I'm not like that anymore."

"You want it, just a little," Nadine whispered as she took the mug from Faith's hands and put it down on the ground next to them. "I remind you of her."

"In one little way."

"Which way is that?"

"Your eyes," Faith whispered as she felt herself begin to shake a little.

Nadine smiled as she ran her sharp nails along Faith's arms. "You remind me of an old lover. She was dark, mysterious, killer smile with an attitude to match."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Isn't it clear?" Nadine asked as she lightly brushed her lips against Faith's. "You might be our 'guest' and all, but who's to say I can't have a little bit of fun when the need arises?"

Faith held back a moan as Nadine cupped her pussy through the thin material of her shorts. Her green eyes bore into he own and she couldn't look away. This was the control; this was the same control she had over Buffy. It made her feel sick. She wanted to push Nadine away and yet, she wanted to just give in, let her take what she wanted from her. And the longer she stared into her eyes, the more she felt her own self-control slip away. No longer able to fight it, she pulled Nadine in for a bone-crushing kiss.

In that moment she became the one thing she tried not to be. The guilt was there, faintly. Her heart felt heavy and yet, as Nadine slipped her hand into her shorts and trailed her fingers over her clit, those thoughts and feelings faded as a long, low moan escaped from her lips.

It was most definitely a nightmare.

And she wasn't waking up from it any time soon.

****

Two whole days passed. Two excruciating days. Buffy couldn't bring herself out of the deep, dark depression she'd slid into the second Faith was taken from her. Just when things had begun to look up they were crushed like it was nothing.

Giles talked her into doing a quick patrol with Angel and some of the girls. Although he wasn't her Watcher anymore and he wasn't running the Slayer Academy, he still liked to give orders. Buffy gave in and went out with Angel and a handful of the former potentials, doing a quick sweep of the cemetery nearby. After letting the girls dust a couple of newbie vamps on their own, Buffy walked off to the far edge of the cemetery and sat on a fallen tree.

"Are you okay?" Angel asked softly as he walked up behind her. "You seem distant."

"Of course I do. I can't stop thinking about her, Angel. We need to do something. The longer we wait..."

"There isn't anything we can do right now. We need to wait. We need to find out their plan and why they have her. Until then, we need to go on with our lives."

"Easy for you to say," Buffy scoffed. "You don't exactly have a life."

"You know what I mean, Buffy."

"We've got incoming!" One of the girls shouted from the other end of the cemetery.

Buffy leapt to her feet and followed Angel to where the girls were standing by the gates. Three vampires, two males and one woman walked with confidence, without fear towards them. Angel looked at Buffy quickly before he stepped forward, approaching them first. The tallest one took one swing at him and he was on the ground, out cold. Buffy didn't want to panic. She couldn't. Not with the girls there. She had to be strong and protect them.

It happened so fast and she felt as if her feet were permanently attached to the ground where she stood, unable to move, unable to breathe. Her eyes were fixed on the three vamps that moved towards her and inside every bit of her senses, every ounce of her heart and soul were telling her to run.

"Who knew this would be so easy," the woman smirked as she stepped up to Buffy and grabbed a hold of her arms.

"Buffy..." Angel groaned as he came to. "Whatever you do, don't look into her eyes."

But it was too late. Buffy was transfixed, her eyes boring into the woman's green eyes, much like her own. A sense of calm came over her as the woman moved in closer, her lips brushing against her ear as she spoke.

"Come with us."

Buffy looked over at Angel, dazed as she struggled to wrap her head around what was happening. She willingly followed the woman, feeling like she had no other choice. Every couple of seconds she could feel the slayer in her screaming at her to snap out of it, to dust them and run away as far and fast as she could. But she couldn't. The control the woman had over her was much too strong for her to fight.

They stopped only a few hundred yards from the cemetery and Buffy shivered, sensing what was about to happen next. With a smile, the woman pulled her in and pulled her hair away from her neck. She purred as she ran a finger over Buffy's pulse point and she shuddered under the touch.

"She marked you," she spoke softly as she licked over the skin where Faith had bit her weeks before. "I'll have you know just because she marked you doesn't make you hers."

"What are you talking about? Who are you talking about?"

"Your lover, Faith."

"What about her?"

"You want her back," she laughed as she licked over her skin once more before leaning back to look into her eyes. "We have her. The only way you'll get her back is if you become one of us."

The fear was there, strong yet faint. She was mesmerized, feeling as if she was under a spell. Only faintly could she hear Angel calling for her and the sounds of a fight that followed his cries. She turned only slightly to look back at him, but the pain of the woman biting over the scar Faith had given her sent her body into what she could only describe as pure pain, pure pleasure.

Her heart was racing, which only made the woman drink from her faster. The weaker she became, the less her heart beat. Tears welled up in her eyes as she slumped almost lifelessly in the woman's arms. She closed her eyes as the pain became unbearable. It felt like poison was coursing through her veins as she felt the woman drop her to the ground.

Death surrounded her. She was close, on the brink, on the edge. Struggling to hold onto her life, onto her consciousness, she opened her eyes a little and saw nothing. Crying the last of her tears she felt the pull of eternal sleep. Unable to fight any longer, she gave in and let the darkness around her swallow her whole.


	11. Chapter 11

The harshness of the florescent lights woke Faith from her light sleep. Her head was pounding and she had a strong thirst. There was also an ache in her heart and the buzz in her lower abdomen that told her Buffy was near. The door clanged open and she squinted, trying to get her eyes to adjust to the light.

What she saw nearly made her faint and her heart break.

Buffy was dragged in and left there slumped on the floor while Nadine only smirked and slammed the door shut as she stepped inside. Faith felt weak, disoriented and she could barely move from where she sat on the floor against the wall. She winced as she watched Nadine grab a hold of Buffy's hair and forced her to her knees.

"Come, Faith."

"What?" Faith groaned as she tried to move. "What did you do to her?"

"Nothing. Drained her a little. Amazing what the power in her blood makes me feel. Don't worry. I left a little for you."

"Don't want it."

"You have no choice," Nadine snapped as she dragged Buffy over to Faith and threw her onto her lap. "She's dying. You either turn her or she dies in your arms. That much of a choice I am giving you."

Faith stroked Buffy's hair lightly as she stared down at her. Anger bubbled inside of her as her fingers ran over the fresh bite marks on her neck. Buffy was unconscious, nearly lifeless as Faith cradled her in her arms. Her thirst was driving her insane. She licked her lips slowly as she held Buffy closer to her. Faith held her hand to Buffy's throat and only faintly felt her pulse beating against her palm.

"How long has it been since you nearly drained her?"

"Not long," Nadine replied and she smirked as she clicked her tongue against her teeth. "Do it now, Faith. She isn't going to stay alive much longer."

"I don't...I don't know how."

"With her last drop you need to cut yourself and get her to drink from you."

"But..."

"Do it, Faith."

"I'm sorry Buffy," Faith whispered into her ear, shuddering when she felt Buffy stir a little in her arms. "I am only doing this to save you cos I love you."

"Oh, get on with it already!" Nadine shouted at her, her shrill voice piercing the near silence and causing Buffy to open her eyes.

"Faith?"

"Buffy," she smiled a little as the tears fell from her eyes. "I'm sorry."

With a quick yet lingering kiss, she stared into her eyes once move before moving her lips to the wound on her neck. Her heart and soul was screaming at her not to do it and the demon inside of her laughed, feeling the satisfaction of defeat, of getting what it wanted.

Hours passed and yet Buffy lay there as lifeless as she had as soon as Faith laid her down on the cold, dusty floor. Nadine had left as soon as she saw the job had been done. Faith was pacing, her body buzzing from the power she had felt when she took almost every last drop from Buffy.

There'd be no more. Buffy had been turned and Faith had done it under the control of Nadine.

The guilt was almost too much. It was eating her up inside. Buffy would never forgive her, would she?

Cursing, she slammed her fists into the stone wall. She had no idea how many hours had passed, but Buffy would wake soon. She felt it. She could feel Buffy's heart beating, as shallow and faint as it was. She began pacing once again, stopping every couple of steps to look over at Buffy lying on the ground. At the first sign that Buffy was waking, Faith stopped and held her breath.

Buffy only opened her eyes, barely moving as she blinked. The lump in Faith's throat grew bigger with every passing second and she clenched her fists at her side, still holding her breath and waiting for Buffy to fully come to terms with what had happened to her. Faith stepped back as far as she could in the small room as Buffy slowly sat up and ran her fingers through her hair.

"Faith?"

"B?"

"What happened?"

"Do you...not remember?" Faith asked tentatively as she stood where she was.

"I remember," she sighed as she stood up and stumbled with the first couple of steps she took. "I just don't remember what happened after that woman dragged me from the cemetery."

"That woman would be Nadine," Faith said as she rolled her eyes.

"You know her?"

"One of my captors, B. Well, one of _our_ captors I guess I should say."

"Oh."

"How do you feel?"

"Different," Buffy whispered as she looked around the small room and let her gaze fix on Faith after a moment. "Hungry or is it thirsty? Kind of feels a little of both."

Faith smirked a little and stayed back, waiting for everything to finally click for Buffy. She silently counted down from ten, watching Buffy pace and her face go from being confused to angry by the time Faith reached eight.

"I'm a vampire?" Buffy shrieked out as she stormed up to Faith and pinned her against the wall. "Did you let that woman do this to me?"

"No. Nadine didn't do this to you."

"You did this to me?"

"I'm sorry. You were going to die, Buffy."

Buffy breathed heavily as she kept Faith pinned to the wall. At first Faith thought she was going to try to kill her, but then she saw the desire in her eyes and she could feel it all over her. She stared into Buffy's eyes, falling even more in love with her as the fire between them grew hotter.

Faith could only stare at her for so long until the overwhelming need to kiss her washed over her. It was a force unlike any other and she felt Buffy feeling the same thing. Licking her lips slowly she stared down at Buffy for just a second longer before she crushed her lips against Buffy's. It was intense, wild and wanton as their hands tore at their clothing. Lips and tongues battled and danced, trying to find dominance as the last pieces of their clothes came off.

"B," Faith panted as she broke away from the kiss, finding herself still pinned up against the wall. "Watch the fangs, baby."

Buffy giggled as she ran her tongue over her fangs. "Sorry."

Faith raised an eyebrow at the innocent look Buffy was giving her and pulled her in and kissed her hard. She opened her eyes only a little and inwardly groaned at the fact there was nothing in there to keep them off the dirty, dusty and very damp floor. Buffy bit her lower lip gently, her fangs barely piercing the skin as she ran her fingers over Faith's hip. She didn't let go of her lip until her hand slid between them.

"Jesus," Faith moaned out quietly as Buffy's fingers slid between her folds, dancing over her clit teasingly.

"It's been too long," Buffy whispered as she deftly slid a single finger inside of her. "Far too long, Faith."

Her legs felt like they'd give out at any moment. Buffy taking control and having this kind of control over her was almost endearing. It was thrillingly erotic. She couldn't get enough. Her moans, whimpers and sighs were telltale signs of that and every time she felt Buffy smirk against her lips, she became even more turned on that it almost was becoming painful.

"Touch me," Buffy pleaded. "Fuck me, Faith."

Faith shuddered as she pulled Buffy to the floor with her, lying back on their discarded clothes and without waiting, without warning, she trailed her fingers over Buffy's clit, pinching it once and causing her to squeal out and she slid two fingers inside of her.

"Kiss me," Faith whispered as she used her free hand to pull Buffy down for another hard, passionate kiss.

There was something raw, animalistic about the way they fucked there on the floor. Faith pushed those thoughts away as quickly as they came into her head and focused on nothing but Buffy and what her fingers were currently doing to her. The pleasure, it had increased tenfold and her orgasm came much too quickly.

Faith arched into her, her own fingers stilling for a moment inside of Buffy as her body went rigid, the pleasure coursing and lighting her on fire all over. Buffy bit her lip as she jerked against her hand. Faith's eyes rolled back in her head as Buffy moaned out her name ever so softly. The rawness of the moment subsided as their eyes locked, fingers stilled, heart beats calming and beating almost in time with one another.

"That was..." Buffy sighed out as she smiled at Faith. "That was unlike anything I've felt before."

"Better than before?"

"Way better," Buffy laughed. "God, to think I was actually pissed at first."

"What made it pass?"

"You. I could feel you all over me. I could feel what you felt. It was intense."

"I didn't want to," Faith whispered as she gently rubbed Buffy's back. "You were dying."

"Faith, shut up."

"But I..."

"I don't want to talk about this now. You are ruining the mood."

Faith smirked as she gently kissed her. "Where'd the attitude come from?"

"What attitude?"

Faith just shook her head and ran her fingers lightly over the swell of Buffy's pert ass, spreading her legs a little so Buffy settled in between them. She was turned on beyond what was bearable and she raised her hips into Buffy's, groaning out as their clits bumped and slid against one another's. The feral look in Buffy's eyes before she kissed her told Faith they were only beginning. She forgot where they were, forgot that Buffy was now one of her kind and lost herself completely to the moment they were sharing.

"Is it always like this for you?" Buffy panted into her ear, nibbling on the lobe a little as Faith gasped out loudly as they began a slow yet hard pace of grinding against each other. "Are you always worked up like this, feeling like it's not enough and too much?"

"Always, B."

"How do you stand it?"

"I can't."

Faith chuckled at the look of frustration and pleasure on Buffy's face and rolled them over. She stilled the movement of her hips, taking that moment to just stare intensely into Buffy's eyes. They were sparkling, full of desire and dare she think it, pure love.

The lights above them fizzed and burnt out, but it didn't matter. They didn't need light to be able to see, to touch, to feel, to taste. Faith lightly kissed her lips, smiling as Buffy dug her nails into her back. Slowly, agonizingly she licked and nipped at Buffy's neck. Even now the sweet taste of Buffy hadn't changed and if it was possible, it was more intoxicating than it had been before.

Buffy shivered under her, her body straining for release, aching to be touched. Faith took her time, not wanting to rush, wanting to savour, to taste. Her primal need, her urges shot through her like a bolt of lightning and she licked down Buffy's body, spreading her legs and instantly buried her face into her pussy.

"Oh fuck..." Buffy moaned as her hands went to Faith's hair and held her closer.

Faith already knew she was close. It was quick, but they both needed it, they both waited too many days to be together again and now it was just coming out in full force, all at once. Faith languidly ran her tongue over Buffy's clit, feeling wave after wave of arousal surge through Buffy's body and through her own. She wanted to draw it out as long as she could despite how close Buffy was.

"B, not yet."

"Faith..."

"Not yet," she whispered as she licked her middle finger and slowly slid it inside her hot, tight hole. "Not yet, Buffy."

"I'm...not..."

Faith held back a laugh as she kissed her way up Buffy's body, stopping at her breasts and licking each hard nipple slowly before making her way up to Buffy's lips. "I know it's hard to hold back."

"Faith...please..."

"It's better if you try," she whispered against her lips, groaning as Buffy jerked her hips up to quicken the slow, tender thrust of her finger. "Remember our first time?"

"Oh god. Faith I can't...can you please stop talking? It's distracting and a tad bit annoying right now."

With a wry laugh Faith kissed her and quickly moved back down in between her legs. Even in the darkness her eyes had adjusted quickly and she could see everything as if there were still light. Before she could breathe another breath, the door flung open.

"Well, what a lovely way to wake up the newborn," Nadine laughed as she shone a flashlight at the two of them. "Wish my rebirth, my own awakening had been so full of pleasure."

Buffy growled angrily as she stood up. Faith flinched when she felt what Buffy was about to do and she leapt up from the ground and held her back. Nadine tittered as she walked in, leaving the door open behind her as she approached them.

"Are you hungry?"

"Very," Buffy replied, her voice calm. "Absolutely starving."

"Get dressed. It's time for you to do what needs to be done. Our human is fully rested. He's willing to sacrifice his life for you."

Buffy only glanced at Faith for a moment and Faith let her go, watching her as she pulled her clothes on and allowed herself to be led out by Nadine. Faith couldn't think, she couldn't even move. All she could do was watch them walk out of the room.

"You're next," Nadine smiled back at Faith as she closed the door and locked it.

"Fuck!" Faith screamed out as she fell to the ground on her knees.

It took her a moment to recover from being under Nadine's thrall before she grabbed her clothes and dressed quickly. She stood by the door, ready to bolt as soon as it was opened next. She had to get out of there; she had to get her and Buffy out of there. Nothing good would come out of it if they stayed there under the control of Nadine and the two others.

Yet, it wasn't until she heard Buffy moan out and the faint thud of the body being dropped to the ground that it came to her.

They didn't need to just get out of there. They needed to disappear completely.

The minutes ticked by, they felt like hours, like days to Faith. When the door finally opened she didn't have a second to react. Buffy was shoved inside and the door quickly closed behind her. Faith felt like crying as she leaned against the wall in the corner and slid down to the floor. Buffy was standing in the middle of the small room, breathing in heavily and letting out a long, shuddering breath.

"God that felt..."

"Better than sex?" Faith whispered as Buffy walked over to her and sat down on the floor next to her. "It always feels better than sex."

"No, I was going to say wrong."

"Oh," Faith smiled a little as she felt Buffy reach for her hand. She was afraid to open her eyes and smelling the fresh blood on Buffy's breath was driving her insane. "It only feels wrong cos we're still human and we're still slayers."

"I was thinking."

"Were you?"

"Faith, be serious," Buffy sighed. "I think I know how we can get out of here. Whatever you do, when Nadine comes back in here, don't look at her. It is how she gets to you."

"Knew that already."

"How?"

"Uh," Faith groaned as she looked at Buffy. "She kind of...you know...the other night..."

"She what? Spit it out, Faith."

"She fucked me. She was controlling me. I couldn't stop her."

"Did you..."

"No. I didn't touch her. I only kissed her. I didn't want to, Buffy."

Buffy sighed out, loosening her grip on Faith's hand. Faith closed her eyes and felt nothing. No emotion coming from Buffy. She had at least expected some anger, a little bit of jealousy. She felt something, only faintly, yet she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

She was exhausted and knew Buffy was as well. Faith let go of her hand and wrapped her arm around her, pulling her in close and laid her head against Buffy and tried to rest. Her libido was screaming at her to continue what they had started earlier, her soul aching as much as her heart was and the slayer and demon inside of her were having a constant battle that was never going to let up.

Not until one of them won.

Faith had a funny feeling it wouldn't be her nor would it be the slayer in her that won in the end.

****

Giles, Willow, Xander, Angel and a couple of the more experienced younger slayers trekked through the woods, Angel in the lead. They had a plan and they weren't going to give up until they got both Buffy and Faith out safely.

After Angel and the girls who survived the attack in the cemetery got back to the castle and explained what had happened, that was it. Giles was furious and he tracked down some associates of his that were more than familiar with Edward's family. Willow found a spell to break open the barrier without the vampires knowing about it and Xander; he just wanted his friend back.

"You do realize there is a very high possibility that Buffy has been turned?" Giles said quietly to Angel as they kept up a few paces ahead of the rest of the group. "Whatever happened to her and to Faith, we can't..."

"I know. Nothing we can do now," Angel replied as he turned to look back at the others following them, chattering about the plan of action, or rather lack of one. "We go in and out. We get the girls and we finish the others inside."

"Easier said than done," Willow said quietly as she caught up to them. "I was thinking we could do a cloaking spell, that is if I cannot teleport them out. The magic holding them in there is strong, far stronger than what you and your warlocks used before."

"But it is possible," Angel nodded. "First we'll try it your way and if that fails, we do it my way."

They approached the edge of the forest and Angel reached out, feeling the barrier but still able to slip through. Willow chanted a few lines with help from Giles and a small whoosh told them the barrier had been broken. One by one they stepped past where it'd been and made their way to the dark castle.

"Wait!"

They all turned to see Satsu running with Kennedy to catch up with them. Willow frowned as Kennedy stood next to her. "What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't stop her," Kennedy whispered. "She wanted to help. She is one of the better slayers. If anyone can help, it's her."

"But..."

"I know."

"What's the plan?" Satsu asked as she pulled her long black hair back and looked around at the group. "We going in or is Willow going to work some magic and just pop Buffy out here?"

"Faith is in there too," Angel said flatly as he leaned against the wall.

"Oh, well," Satsu laughed and shrugged as she began to scale the wall. "Whatever right?"

"Does she know?" Willow asked Kennedy as they stood there and watched as the girls one by one scaled over the wall followed by Angel, Giles and Xander. "Does she know about Buffy and Faith?"

"I don't know. We didn't really talk. I was too busy running after her as soon as she found out where you all had gone."

Willow groaned out knowing nothing good would come of this with Satsu there. But, like Faith, Satsu was stubborn and when she wanted something, nothing and nobody could stand in her way. With Kennedy's help, they scaled the wall and joined the others. Half the girls went around to the west side of the castle while the Scoobs went to the east side. Willow couldn't stop glaring at Satsu.

"You should go with the others," she said coldly as she stood close to Kennedy. "It'll be more even that way."

"No," Satsu replied as she crept up to the closest window. "I'm staying right here with you. I want Buffy back safely as much as you all do."

Kennedy rubbed Willow's shoulders to calm her down before she said something she'd regret and she sat on the cool, damp grass and closed her eyes, trying to feel where Buffy and Faith were being held. It took her a couple of minutes and after trying to teleport them outside, she fell back into Kennedy's arms and shook her head.

"It's no use."

"We'll go in then," Angel said as he walked up to where Satsu still stood at the window. "Willow, you up to cloaking a couple of us so we can go inside and..."

"Fuck that," Satsu laughed as she opened the window. "We'll go in, dust the vamps that are holding Buffy and that is that."

Willow shook her head and sighed as her eyes met with Kennedy's. "If she gets killed, I'm fine with that."

Kennedy laughed and kissed Willow lightly on the forehead before getting up and following the others through the window. She looked back and blew her a kiss, smiling as she disappeared inside.

****

Faith woke from her light sleep at the sound of voices on the other side of the door. She nudged Buffy awake and clamped her hand over her mouth before she could say anything. Buffy sighed then listened with her, her eyes opening wide as she pulled Faith's hand away.

"Oh god."

"What?" Faith whispered.

"They've come to 'rescue' us."

"And that's a bad thing?"

"Satsu is out there."

Faith clenched her jaw tight to keep from saying anything, but she knew Buffy knew exactly what she was thinking even if she wasn't thinking about anything other than being jealous and more than a little bit pissed off.

Buffy leaned in and kissed her lightly and ran her fingers over her jaw until Faith would look at her. "Don't worry about her, okay? It's over. I'm with you now."

"Are you?"

"Yes. Thought that was pretty clear already?"

"Just making sure," Faith smiled and she pulled her in for another kiss.

They sat there and listened, neither able to make out quite what was going on just on the other side of the door. There were sounds of a fight, voices and then nothing. Buffy stood up and pulled Faith with her. They walked to the door and listened.

"What's going on out there, do you know?"

"I can't hear a damn fucking thing, B."

"This can't be good."

"Feeling stronger now that you've fed a little while ago, B?"

"Why?"

"I'm thinking with the two of us we can bust the door and get out," Faith whispered as she let go of her hand.

"Why didn't we think of this before?"

Faith shrugged and laughed a little. "Well, we were too busy getting our naughty on for one thing."

Buffy laughed as she ran her fingers over the door and tried to get a grip. "On three?"

"On three."

****

Angel led them through the castle quietly, agitated and fearing what he'd face. If anything, he knew that the vampires there that were holding Faith and Buffy captive we're much stronger and much more powerful than anything he'd ever come face to face with before.

Satsu was next to him and stopped him when they reached a small door. "They're down there."

"How do you know that?"

"Leads down to the cellar," she said smugly.

"We can't just go down there until we know where the others are," Angel hissed at her as he placed his hand over the door before she could open it. "Go with Kennedy and Xander, Giles and I will stay here."

"But..."

"Just go," Angel snapped at her, feeling himself losing his temper fast. As soon as Satsu, Kennedy and Xander disappeared down the hallway Angel breathed out a sigh of relief and laughed quietly. "Now I see why Buffy couldn't love her. She's more stubborn than Faith."

Giles smirked, holding back his laughter as they heard footsteps above them. "Save the small talk for later. I believe our presence has been noted."

Xander came back alone, standing next to Giles and Angel with the crossbow in his hands, aimed and ready for whatever was coming for them. "Seen anything yet?"

"Nothing," Angel shook his head. "But they are coming. Where did Kennedy and Satsu go?"

"Lost them."

"Would you stay quiet?" Giles hissed at both of them as footsteps rapidly ran down a set of stairs nearby. "There are..."

"Three of them," Angel finished as the three vampires came into view. "Yeah, three of them."

"Well, we have guests. How nice," the woman laughed as she walked up to Angel. "You must be Angelus. I've heard so much about you, darling."

"Nadine."

"Oh, so you know who I am?" Nadine laughed as she motioned for the two behind her to go off. "Should I be honoured? It's like I'm famous, but I'm not."

She grabbed Angel by the throat, lifting him almost effortlessly off the floor. Giles and Xander used that moment and slipped down the stairs that led to the cellar. Angel smirked as Nadine tightened her grip.

"Best you can do?"

"Oh I could do better," she laughed again, more nefariously as she leaned in close. "What's it going to take for Angelus to come out and play? Oh wait, that's right. She's with the other slayer now, the dark one. The one they call Faith."

"Doesn't matter. Long as she's happy that keeps me happy."

"You do know she's been turned, don't you? Would that make any difference now? Would that still make dear Angelus come out to play with the big bad boys?"

"No," he chuckled as he saw Kennedy strut up behind Nadine. "Too bad you won't find out either."

Kennedy thrust the stake through her heart in one swift motion, laughing as she turned to dust. Angel fell to the floor and picked himself up. He smiled at her as she looked rather satisfied she'd gotten the kill. Just as he was about to ask where Satsu had gone off to, they heard Xander and Giles arguing with her down in the cellar.

"How did she..."

"There was another set of stairs. Couldn't stop her. The other two vamps went after the girls."

They set off down the narrow set of stairs. The three were still arguing, the argument becoming clearer as the two reached the last step. Giles wasn't saying much other than telling Xander and Satsu to shut up. The door to the small cell where they all knew Buffy and Faith were locked inside, had a series of locks.

"Always come prepared, Giles," Angel laughed as he pulled out a small yet powerful C-4 bomb. "We don't have time. On three, run."

****

Faith stopped Buffy before she could try to pull on the door to break it. "Buffy, wait."

"What? Don't you want to get out of here?"

"Do you smell that?"

"Smell what?"

"Dynamite."

Buffy's eyes grew wide, both with fear and excitement as they ran to the far wall and held onto each other as the small, powerful blast blew the door from the frame. They stared at each other intensely as the smoke and dust cleared from the room. Nothing broke their gaze, not Giles' sigh of relief they'd found them, not Angel telling them to get a move on and not Xander and Satsu still arguing.

"So much for disappearing," Faith whispered as she quickly gave Buffy what was the chastest kiss they'd shared since their first one. "Hey guys, miss us?"

"Thank god you two are okay," Giles said as they stepped over the shredded metal door.

"Nadine has been taken care of," Angel said to them as they all made their way up the stairs. "The other two went after the rest of the girls."

"How many did you bring?" Buffy asked, easily falling into her role as head slayer. "How many did you bring with you?"

"Four," Kennedy answered before Giles or Angel could say a word. "Satsu on the other hand, wasn't invited for this mission. She just took it upon herself to come here. I only followed to try and stop her. You know how stubborn she gets, Buffy. I really tried..."

"Don't," Buffy said as she held up her hand. "When this is over, I'll take care of Satsu."

They looked back at Xander and Satsu, both of them arguing over the fact that she shouldn't even be there. A quick search of the castle turned up empty. The four young slayers were gone as were Christopher and Laurence. They'd disappeared without a trace. Giving up, for now, they found Willow sitting out on the grass and they got the hell out of there as fast as they could before anything else happened.

The group was silent on the walk back to the castle. Faith had fallen a little behind, watching Buffy as she walked closely next to Angel. She knew she had nothing to be jealous of, nothing to worry about when it came to Angel. It was Satsu she knew she'd have to keep her eye on. And she knew it'd take one thing to set her off.

And when it happened, Satsu was going to face her worst enemy yet.


	12. Chapter 12

All hell nearly broke loose within a matter of minutes.

Barely had they stepped in through the main doors of the castle before Satsu was standing face to face with Faith, angry and itching for a fight. Faith wasn't about to back down either. The pure jealousy and hatred coming from Satsu was overwhelming. The walk back had put Faith on an edge. It didn't help that she had felt how strongly Satsu still felt for Buffy either.

They had their own history, four years of it, a lot of it having been spent naked and locked away in Buffy's room. It angered Faith to no end to even just think of the two of them together and Satsu constantly thinking of it, even now with her in Faith's face, wasn't helping any.

"What's your problem?" Faith asked her as she grabbed onto both of Satsu's shoulders and pushed her away from her. "Pissed I got the girl you thought you'd be with forever?"

"If it had been anyone else but you, I'd deal."

"So I'm like defective or something?" Faith laughed, ignoring the eyes that were on them and the ears that were listening intently. "Don't know about you kid, but nobody has ever loved Buffy the way I do."

"Faith..." Buffy said softly as she placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Don't. It isn't worth fighting over."

"You are worth fighting over, B."

"This isn't middle school or high school, okay? Both of you need to calm down. Satsu, you broke up with me and you know why you broke up with me. It's done and over with. Move on. I have."

"If you have stopped acting like children, we all need to start on trying to locate the missing girls," Giles said tiredly as he stared only at Faith. "You two, get some rest. We'll take care of things and fill you in one what we've found out in the morning."

"This isn't over," Satsu said to Faith. "You and me, we're gonna fight."

"Bring it on," Faith mocked as she felt herself being tugged back by Buffy. "You're fighting a lost cause, kid. I got the girl."

Faith chuckled as she took Buffy's hand in hers and let Buffy lead her to the stairs. As soon as they were in Buffy's room, Buffy slammed the door hard. "What the hell was that?"

"What is what?"

"The whole 'fighting over who got the girl' thing, Faith! It's ridiculous and unnecessary."

"You wouldn't think that if you felt what she was feeling."

"I did feel it," Buffy sighed as she walked over to the bed and sat down. "I don't know how you can deal with all the emotions. It's too much. I feel like I'm being pulled in a million different directions all at once."

"I know."

"You have to understand that no matter what happened between her and I, there are still lingering feelings there."

"You still feel something for her?"

"Just a little bit," Buffy replied quietly. "If you'd been with someone for four years you'd still feel something even after things ended. Feelings, whether they are of lust or love, just don't go away at the drop of a hat."

Faith nodded, trying to understand and trying to keep her anger buried deep inside of her. The last thing she wanted and needed was for a fight to break out between her and Buffy. She wanted them to be past that. She wanted them to be happy like she felt they always deserved to be together. She walked over to the window and opened it, letting in the fresh, cool night air. With a heavy sigh she leaned against the windowsill and tried to clear her head.

"I'm with you now," Buffy whispered as she walked up behind Faith and wrapped her arms around her. "Nothing is going to change that now. I got you and you got me."

"Been a long time coming."

"Very long. Too long."

"Buffy I feel so guilty."

"What for?"

"For this," she replied as she turned around and stared into her eyes. "For what happened to you."

"You didn't have a choice."

"I know. I didn't want you to die. I don't think I could have dealt with that. The pain of losing you after what we've shared together would be too much. I'd probably take a stake to my own heart if you ever..."

"No, let's not think about stuff like that," Buffy said as she shook her head and placed a finger over Faith's lips. "There's something I wanted to ask you."

"What's that?"

"When they came for us, blew the door open, you said 'so much for disappearing'. What did you mean by that?"

"We need to."

"Need to what? Disappear? Why?"

"Cos," Faith shrugged. "You and I both know we can't stay here like this."

"We can make it work. So we're not exactly human. We're still slayers and we still have a job to do, Faith."

"I know."

"You just want to get up and disappear, forget about our lives, our calling?"

"You are the one who has a life, B. I got nothing. All I got is you and Giles."

"You have Angel and everyone else too," Buffy pointed out. "Faith, don't you get it? You are one of us. You always have been and just because there've been a few falling outs and nobody heard from you in four years doesn't mean we didn't still think of you belonging here with all of us."

"Just not used to being wanted I guess."

"Well, get used to it," Buffy smiled.

"What are we going to do about Satsu?"

"Leave it to me. I'll figure out a way to get her out of here. Maybe I'll send her to Italy or to Japan for awhile."

Faith chuckled softly as she wrapped her arms around Buffy's waist. "Got any other ideas?"

"Do you?"

With a shake of her head Faith let her go and hopped up onto the windowsill. She had plenty of ideas on how to get rid of Satsu, none of them included just letting her walk away unharmed. Buffy frowned as she ran her fingers over Faith's thighs and pulled her off the windowsill.

"Don't think stuff like that."

"Stuff like what?" Faith asked, grinning as innocently as she could. "Can't really help it you know? She wants you back and she strikes me as the type who won't let anything or anyone get in her way."

"Well she can want me back as much as she wants to," Buffy smiled slyly as she pulled Faith over to the bed. "I don't want her back. Ever."

"How do you feel?" Faith asked after a couple of minutes of silence between them, wanting to change the subject from them discussing Satsu. She could feel how much it was pulling Buffy apart inside.

"About what?"

"Being a vampire?"

Buffy laughed as she pulled Faith down on the bed with her and quickly moved to straddle her hips. "You know, I haven't really thought about that part yet. All I can seem to think about is you and how much I want you."

"It's changed you," Faith sighed as she sat up slowly and wrapped her arms around Buffy. "You're more..."

"Open? Fearless? Dangerous?"

"Amongst other things. Got to say this side of you I've been seeing, definitely didn't expect it."

"Thought you knew by now to always expect the unexpected with me?"

"Well, you used to be pretty damn predictable."

Buffy laughed as she pushed Faith onto her back and hovered over her, her lips barely touching Faith's as she breathed out heavily. "I stopped being predictable years ago."

"Have a funny feeling Satsu is the reason for that," Faith responded bitterly. "It really should have been me, not her."

"Are you ever going to get over that and let it go?"

"Nope. But then again, got a fucking eternity to try."

The weight of her words fell heavy on both of them. Eternal life. They were immortal and that scared Faith just a little. She knew it scared Buffy too. She felt it as strongly from her as she could feel it in herself. With a light laugh she rolled Buffy off of her and got off the bed. She kept her eyes on Buffy as she stripped out of her clothes and headed for the bathroom. Peering over her shoulder, she saw Buffy quickly strip out of her own clothes and follow her.

Faith just wanted to shower. She felt dirty, her muscles ached and she was trying to forget the overwhelming thirst and hunger that seemed to overtake her entire body all at once. She was too exhausted to even think of continuing what they had started before Nadine took Buffy from her to feed, to drink for the first time.

The water was almost too hot, but Faith stepped in the shower stall with Buffy following close behind. She closed her eyes as she let the hot water prickle her skin like a thousand tiny needles and she sighed out as she felt Buffy's hand run down her back, her tense muscles relaxing at her gentle touch. She stopped Buffy as she moved her hands around to her chest and turned around quickly, shaking her head no as she held Buffy away from her.

"Not now."

"Faith," Buffy sighed as she pulled her hands from her tight grasp. "I just want to hold you. Is that too much to ask?"

"Right now it is. I'm tired, I'm sore and I just want to shower and go to bed."

"I feel exactly the same as you, Faith. But I just want to..."

"Stop being so fucking needy!" Faith snapped. "I get it okay. You love me, you want me, and you can't stand to live without me. The feeling is mutual, but right now I need to be alone."

Buffy looked hurt as she stepped out of the shower, not even bothering to dry herself off as she walked out and slammed the door hard behind her. Faith punched the titled wall in front of her, chuckling at the memories it brought for her. Pushing them aside, she finished up in the shower and got out. After drying herself off and wrapping one of Buffy's big light pink towels around her, she walked out of the bathroom and found her lying on the bed, on her stomach, crying into the pillow.

Outside an approaching storm rolled in, lightning crashed and thunder rumbled. Faith sighed out as she turned off the lights, dropped the towel on the floor next to the bed and laid down next to Buffy. Nothing was every easy with them, nothing was ever simple. It was always complicated, full of mixed emotions even though they both knew what they wanted; each other.

"I'm sorry."

"What for?" Buffy asked, wiping away her tears as she turned to look at her. "Sorry for pushing me away?"

"Yeah."

"When? Just now in the shower or for everything else?"

"Both," Faith shrugged. "Thing about me, B? I don't ever let anyone in. I've let you in and it scares the fucking shit out of me."

"I get it."

"Get what?"

"Why you always push me away," Buffy whispered as she moved so their lips were only inches apart, their bodies pressed together so tight it felt as if they were one. "Don't be afraid to love me and let me love you, Faith."

"I'm trying not to," she whispered, her voice shaking as she tried to gain some sense of self-control. "You were always the one I couldn't have. Always the one I hated and loved at the same time, you know?"

"I know."

"Now that I have you, B...fuck, it's just...I have no words. It's amazing really."

"Yeah?" Buffy smiled as she kissed her, keeping it light and pulled back before Faith could kiss her back. "Every day I thought about you. Every day I wondered when you'd come back to us, come back to me. Why do you think I came to LA? It wasn't just because of the things that was going on between Satsu and I. I wanted to reach out to you, find and accept what I felt for you."

"Every day?" Faith laughed. "What did you think about?"

"About what it would have been like for us. I always imagined it'd be just like this. Romantic, sweet yet fucking intense and wild."

"Explain to me where the romantic part comes in," Faith whispered against her lips, holding back the smirk that threatened to come out. "Cos I don't remember anything romantic happening between us."

"Shut up," Buffy laughed as she playfully swatted her against the shoulder. "It was just the thought."

"I know."

Everything felt so easy between them. Faith kissed her, gently at first until the first soft moan escaped from Buffy's lips. So easy yet so hard, so complicated and restricted. Being on the same page for the first time it seemed, it felt unreal yet so real at the same time for Faith. Mentally she was kicking her own ass for being such a coward. She finally was getting what she wanted despite the fact she'd spent so many years repressing those feelings. The rouge slayer finally got the girl and she still scared shitless of fucking it all up.

She wasn't afraid of love, not with Buffy. She was only afraid of losing her.

"Are you that insecure?" Buffy asked, lightly running her fingers over Faith's jaw and then her lips. "No matter what you do, what you say, I'll always love you. Always have, always will."

Faith finally became all too aware how naked they were, how close they were. Shaking her head of all the lascivious thoughts, she smiled at Buffy and took her hand in her own. "I'm not that insecure. Shit, this whole feeling and mind reading thing is gonna take some getting used to."

"Yeah," Buffy sighed out. "It's weird actually."

"Only gonna get weirder. Wait until you finally get to see the sun rise."

"Will you come out and sit with me and watch it?"

"Of course," Faith smiled. "But first I want to get some sleep. Couple nights being locked up and not having a comfortable bed was starting to make me feel a little bit insane."

"Just a little bit?"

"Fine, a lot."

"You know something? And don't say you do," Buffy laughed softly as she stared into Faith's eyes, seemingly becoming lost in them for a moment. "When Angel had you, I felt like I'd lost you again. I was acting worse than when Satsu broke things off between us. It happened again when Edward's family took you."

"Did you go off the rails, get piss drunk or something?"

"No. Emotionally I was falling apart. The funny thing about this is I never thought I'd feel that way about you, Faith. I never thought you'd make me go through all those feelings I felt when you were gone. Four years of not seeing each other and we see each other and fall into bed together, I guess everything just came crashing down all at once."

"Pretty much did. Why do you think I kept fighting it? Kept thinking it wouldn't happen then when I realized it could happen, I got fucking scared. Nobody has ever scared me the way you did, the way you still do."

"We're past that. Aren't we?"

"Maybe. Gotta give me some time to get used to this. Don't think it's gonna be easy either."

"Nobody ever said love was easy."

"Never been in love like this before," Faith smiled at her as she wrapped her arms around her. "Got to say though, feels good."

"I know what else could make you feel good," Buffy purred as she slipped her leg between Faith's as she moved on top of her. "Still feeling tired?"

"Not anymore."

****

Giles sighed out loudly as he placed the tray with the cups of tea on the table in the study. Willow was searching through old Council files, trying to find any bit of information that she could. Everything they'd done so far had come to a dead end.

"It's useless," Willow said as she closed the lid to her laptop. "Completely useless. There's nothing on these vampires, no history, nothing. It's like they just popped up out of nowhere."

"They didn't," Angel said to her as he began to pace slowly. "I know they originated from Italy. Where exactly isn't known. They are old."

"How old?" Willow asked him as she reached for a cup of tea. "Dracula old?"

"Older. Much older."

"Guys," Xander exclaimed as he came into the study and took a seat next to Willow. "I think I know where they took the girls."

"Where?"

"There's a castle about five miles from the one we just got back from. It's hidden and rundown, but I really think..."

He was cut off by the muffled moans coming from Buffy's room almost directly above the study. Willow began to giggle. Kennedy jabbed her in the side, laughing as she rolled her eyes. For a few minutes nobody said a word until Giles cleared his throat and reached for his cup of tea.

"Now, if we could get back to business," he said as he motioned for Willow to open her laptop again. "I need you to do a quick search on the area around here. If we are going to get the girls back, we need to know the land and the quickest way in and out."

"Sounds like someone is learning the 'ins and outs' right about now," Willow whispered to Kennedy and they both started to laugh again. Giles only glared at her and shook his head. "What?"

"If we could not discuss what Buffy and Faith are doing right now and focus on what's more important right now..."

"They are really going at it," Kennedy whispered to Willow and they both giggled at the look on Xander's face. "Think it's because they are vampires now too on top of being slayers?"

"Maybe."

"Please," Giles groaned. "Focus. It's going to be a long night and every second we waste the girls' lives may be in danger. When we get a plan in motion then you can feel free to discuss...er...whatever is going on up there."

Willow and Kennedy continued to giggle, ignoring Giles as they whispered to one another. Xander ended up excusing himself rather quickly which only caused Willow and Kennedy to burst out into uncontrollable laughter. Giles sighed out loudly, removing his glasses and wiping them hard with hem of his sweater before rubbing his temples as if his very life depended on it before his head exploded.

"Are you two quite finished?"

"Yes, but I don't think they are," Kennedy snorted as her chair fell backwards to the floor.

"Giles, we're sorry, but we really can't focus right now when all we can hear is..."

"Enough," he said firmly. "If you would please stop acting like children and focus. This is a rather serious matter that needs to be taken care of right away."

Kennedy stopped laughing and got up from the floor, making sure she didn't look at Willow as she placed the chair next to her and sat back down. A couple minutes passed without anyone saying a word. Angel stood by the window talking quietly on his cell phone and he turned with a smile on his face as he tucked it into his pocket.

"I found out where they took the girls."

"Ah, now if one of you will go and get Buffy and Faith, we can end this tonight."

"There is a slight problem," Angel said as his smile quickly faded. "They've created a spell, a barrier stronger than the last, stronger than anyone known before. Because we all made our presence known, we're barred from crossing the barrier. Same goes for Buffy and Faith."

"I can figure something out," Willow said as she reached for her cup of tea and smiled a little. "Got to have a little faith in me."

"Like Buffy has right about now?" Kennedy smirked. "Literally sounds like it too."

"Dear lord," Giles sighed as he closed his eyes. "I think we should take this elsewhere for tonight."

"Or just pick up on it in the morning?" Angel suggested. "It's been a long night and from what my contacts have told me, the girls aren't in any immediate danger. They were being held. As bait."

"Bait for what, or for whom?" Giles asked, ignoring Willow and Kennedy as they started giggling again.

"For all of us. Mostly, they just want Buffy and Faith. The plans they had, it's disturbing really."

"Disturbing?" Willow asked, coughing as she tried to stop laughing. "How, Angel?"

"They were going to brainwash them, make them believe they didn't belong anywhere else but with them. It was actually Nadine doing it all and now that she's gone..."

"All thanks to me," Kennedy gloated.

"All thanks to Kennedy," Angel smirked. "Laurence and Christopher have come up with other ways to get what they want. This isn't your typical vendetta. What they are trying to do is far worse than try to get Buffy and Faith on their side. They want us all and they aren't going to stop until they get what they want."

"Even you?" Willow asked as she furrowed her brow as she tried to figure out why.

"Well, technically no."

"This is such a mind fuck," Kennedy muttered. "Can't even enjoy the little concert we're getting now."

"Concert?" Giles asked. "What on earth are you talking about?"

"Oh, ooh," Kennedy laughed as she mocked the noises coming from Buffy's room. "Get it?"

"Ken, that was lame," Willow snorted as they all got up to leave the study. "Lame, but adorable. Look, I think for once you got Giles to shut up."

****

Faith moaned softly as she trailed her tongue over Buffy's stomach. A light sheen of sweat coated their bodies, the coolness of the night only causing them to shiver with the sensations of pleasure and the chill of the air. Her eyes never left Buffy's in the darkness of the room. With a smile she dipped her tongue into her belly button, loving each soft moan that escaped Buffy's lips and the shudder full of pleasure that followed.

She trailed her fingers over Buffy's sides and down to her thighs, feeling the goose bumps form under her fingertips. She was teasing her and Buffy knew it. Faith moaned out as Buffy grabbed her head and pulled her up for a heart-stopping kiss. Faith felt Buffy's fangs slide out and pulled back, sighing as she lightly kissed the tip of her nose and smiled at her.

"Babe you got to watch those fangs."

"Sorry," Buffy whispered. "I can't seem to control it. Especially not with you making me feel this good."

"I've only just got started," Faith smiled. "Did you hear them down there?"

"Hear what?"

"The Scoobs, talking about us up here," Faith chuckled. "You aren't exactly quiet, you know that?"

"I should be mortified," Buffy whispered as she slid her hand between them and ran her fingers over Faith's throbbing clit. "But I'm not. How can I when you've made me feel this way?"

A wave of pleasure ran through Faith's body with the gentle, fluid touches. Her whole body ached for Buffy's touch and even when she was being touched, she wanted more. It was intoxicating like a drug and every little touch made her feel like a sex-crazed addict. She wasn't used to giving up control, but with Buffy as strong as she was and as lust driven and turned on, she didn't have any control the second Buffy's fingers were on her, in her.

It wasn't quite the way it had been between them while they were being held captive. It wasn't rushed, it wasn't rough and raw and needy. Faith had to keep herself from taking over, from ravishing Buffy. The whole making love thing was completely new to her and she had a feeling that no matter how many times it happened between them, she'd never quite get used to the fact that that was what they were doing, making love.

"You are thinking too much," Buffy smiled as she ran her free hand over Faith's cheek. "Do you always think this much when you are with me?"

"Always," Faith smiled back at her.

"You also talk too much," Buffy laughed as she flipped them over and plunged two fingers hard inside of Faith, stilling them as Faith closed her eyes and bit her lip. "Not that I mind really. I never imagined you'd be like this with me. Never imagined we'd ever be together. Always was just a fantasy."

"Oh god, Buffy."

"Want to know something else, Faith? I could do this all night long. Watch you writhe and moan under me. Make you feel as if you are more alive than you ever felt before."

Faith sighed out contently as Buffy's lips trailed over her neck and across the tops of her breasts. She opened her eyes and looked down at her, their eyes locking in a loving, lust filled gaze as Buffy's tongue trailed slowly over her left nipple. Her fangs were still out and she was careful as she wrapped her lips over the hard nipple and bit down ever so gently.

Every time Faith raised her hips, Buffy stilled her fingers and pressed down on her clit with the palm of her hand. It sent a shockwave of pleasure through her body and it became harder for her to hold back and let Buffy continue with her loving assault and torture she was embarking on. The room grew quiet, aside from the soft moans escaping from Faith's lips as Buffy nipped and licked her way down her stomach and settled in between her spread legs.

"Buffy..."

"Yes," she asked innocently, smiling as she dipped her head down and licked her clit slowly. "Feels good, baby?"

"Oh fuck yes."

"Do you want more?"

Faith moved her hand to the back of Buffy's head, moaning quietly as she nodded her head. Buffy smiled and moaned as she slid her fingers out of Faith slowly, taking a moment just to stare up into her eyes before dipping her head back down and licking the length of her dripping, pulsing cunt slowly. Her nails dug into Faith's thighs as she held them apart and it did nothing to stop Faith from writhing under her with every slow and agonizing lick. Faith was already so close. She could feel a powerful orgasm building up deep inside of her, reverberating throughout her entire body.

All it took was Buffy sliding her tongue as deep as she could inside her hot, tight hole and it pushed her over the edge.

Gripping with one hand on the back of Buffy's head and the other on the pillow next to her, Faith moaned out loudly as her orgasm ripped almost violently through her body. Buffy's strong hands held her hips down against the mattress as she licked and sucked until Faith's body went limp. With a satisfied smirk, she licked her way up Faith's body and straddled her hips. It took her a moment to realize Buffy was no longer in between her legs and when she opened her eyes she saw Buffy smiling down at her.

"You alive?"

"Barely, but what else is new?" Faith laughed. "God damn, B. I knew you had some skills, but that right there? If I was fully alive I'd be dead right now."

"Is that a compliment or..."

"A compliment, B. Shit, probably worded things wrong again and..."

"I know," Buffy laughed as she leaned down and kissed her, squealing out as Faith grabbed a hold of her and flipped them over. "Whatever you think is going to happen, good or bad, we're taking it one day at a time. We have got an eternity together to figure things out and make them work."

"An eternity...together? You and me? You sure about that?"

"As sure as I am about knowing that the sun with rise and set each day no matter what."

"Corny," Faith winked as she leaned down and kissed her. "So, an eternity huh? What happens when you get sick of me or decide one day you hate my guts?"

"Not going to happen."

"What if you find someone else you want to be with or I do?"

"Not going to happen."

"You sure about that?"

Buffy paused for a moment before nodding her head yes. "I am sure. I want every night to be like tonight, Faith. You are amazing and more and more I see the depths of your soul and I fall in love with you over and over again. Some people may call me crazy, but all the good and the bad things about you and everything in between is what made me fall in love with you."

"And where exactly does Satsu fit in?"

"She doesn't. That was the problem. I kept trying to find pieces of you in her and I never could."

"Should've just come straight to the source," Faith chuckled as she moved to lay down next to her. "The only person close to being me is me."

"I know that now."

"So, when are you going to tell Dawn?"

"About what?"

"Well, about us for one thing and then the fact that we're both not exactly the living, breathing human beings we once were."

"We're still alive," Buffy whispered gently as she placed her hand over Faith's heart. "And we're still breathing. Explain to me how this is possible that we are what we are now?"

"I don't know. We just are. That's what Eddie told me. No sense in trying to figure out the hows and the whys and whatever else there is. I'm tired of looking for answers I know I'll never find. You never answered my question either."

"About Dawn?" Buffy sighed out as she closed her eyes. "She'll be back from England soon. Far as I know she doesn't even know Satsu and I broke up."

"What's she doing in England?"

"Soul searching with a guy she met a year ago. Nobody's met him yet, but she promised she'd bring him home soon to meet the family. Some family we are, huh? Poor guy will probably take off running as soon as he steps through the doors."

Faith laughed as she stifled a yawn. Sunrise was only a couple hours away and she was finding it near impossible to keep fighting off sleep. The deep hunger and thirst was crawling in, but she ignored it as she closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around Buffy tightly.

Barely had either of them drifted off to sleep before the bedroom door flew open with a loud bang. And for the second time that night, all hell was about to break loose.


	13. Chapter 13

Satsu stood in the doorway, breathing heavily. She was angry, she was drunk, and she was looking for a fight. Not just any fight. She wanted one with Faith.

Buffy only rolled her eyes as she slipped out of bed and grabbed her robe that was slung over the chair at her desk. She stayed calm, as calm as she could as she walked over to Satsu. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I'd ask you the same thing, but it's pretty clear what you've been doing. The whole fucking house heard you!"

Buffy caught Faith slipping out of bed out of the corner of her eye and she grabbed onto Satsu's arm and pulled her out into the hallway. "You're drunk. Delusional and angry. You need to go to bed."

"Why? Why should I have to listen to you?"

"Don't do anything you are going to regret."

"How do you know what I'm going to do, huh?"

Satsu tried to push her away, but Buffy stood solid, moving not an inch. She held back the chuckle she felt tickle the back of her throat as Satsu blinked through the tears now filling her eyes. Eyes that were soft only for a moment then flashed anger and hatred as Faith stepped out into the hallway, dressed in the clothes she'd discarded hours ago.

Faith placed a hand on Buffy's shoulder, smiling a little as Buffy let go of Satsu's arms. She leaned in and whispered softly into her ear, "B, go back to bed. Let me handle this."

Sighing, Buffy stepped away, but she didn't go back into the room. She kept her eyes on Satsu and on Faith as they stood face to face. The emotions she felt from Satsu were nearly heartbreaking and the ones from Faith were surprisingly calm.

"Listen," Faith said softly as she stared at Satsu. "Buffy is right. You are drunk and delusional right now. Best thing you can do for yourself is to go to bed and sleep it off."

"Everything would have been alright if she didn't love you," Satsu snapped as she wiped away her tears and took a few steps back, stumbling slightly. "Four years I had her, four years I loved her and she never loved me back. It's all your fault."

"Everything usually is," Faith chuckled as she stole a quick glance at Buffy and they smiled. "Look, Satsu...I feel your pain. I really do. Literally."

"What?"

"I feel what you feel now. No need to explain how," Faith responded calmly without missing a beat. "You want to fight me. You want to make me feel the pain you feel inside you now. Fighting me isn't going to change anything. It isn't going to make you feel any better either."

"Look at you, reformed and living fancy free, fucking my girlfriend without a goddamn care in the world. You haven't changed and from the stories I've heard, you're still a fucking whore."

Every muscle in Faith's body flinched at her words. Her calmness disappeared as she lost the strength she had over the demon and the darkness inside of her. She wrapped her hands around Satsu's throat as she pushed her up against the wall. Breathing heavily, she shrugged off Buffy as she tried to get a hold of her and stared into Satsu's eyes, anger mixing with anger.

"Such a stupid little cunt," Faith spat out as she kept her hands firmly around Satsu's throat, her hold tight, but not enough to strangle her. Yet. "I don't know what Buffy ever saw in you. You're fucking stubborn and way beyond delusional. Let me make one thing fucking clear. Buffy is not your girlfriend anymore and the way I understand it, you're the one who ended things, not her."

"Fuck you."

"Faith..."

"If I were you, I'd sleep it off and once you have I want you to get the fuck out of here before I kill you."

"Like to see you try," Satsu smirked.

"Faith, stop it..."

"Shut up, B!"

The hallway spun around Faith, everything swirling and mixing into one as her anger took over her. She tightened her grip on Satsu's throat, feeling the power at the tips of her fingers and seeing the fear in Satsu's eyes as they bore into her own. She could feel Satsu's pulse quicken as she gasped for air. Her eyes filled with new tears as her lower lip trembled out of control.

Satsu gripped at Faith's arms, trying to pry them off of her. She choked as she tried to breathe, tears sliding down her face as her body became weaker with every passing second. Buffy was standing behind Faith, watching in horror as she strangled Satsu.

"You haven't changed, have you? It was all an act, wasn't it?" Buffy cried out softly as she slumped against the wall and slid down to the floor. "Goddamn it, Faith. Would you just stop?"

The pleading voice barely made it through her as she already had a taste of being in control over whether or not Satsu lived or died. The choked sobs coming from Buffy finally got to her and she shook her head and blinked a couple of times before letting go of Satsu. She backed away, horrified at how she'd reacted and what she almost did. No matter how much Satsu angered her, she didn't deserve to die at her hands.

Satsu stood where she was, breathing in heavily as she held her throat. Faith stared at her for a moment, trying to read her emotions, her thoughts. It was empty. There was nothing, but shock and subtle relief. With one last look at Buffy, Faith took off down the hallway and slipped out the nearest window.

****

The rooftops of the castle had become almost like a safe haven for her. She walked along the steepest parts until she reached the shallow rise just below the window of the room she'd been told was hers if she wanted it. The anger still lingered inside of her and it took nearly three cigarettes, one after another, before she could finally relax and calm herself down. So close she had been to stepping over the edge. She was practically hanging off of it; her only lifeline holding her from falling away completely was Buffy. Even now she wasn't so sure if Buffy would be willing to hold on as tightly as she had been.

With a heavy sigh she laid back on the rooftop. She was exhausted, mentally and physically. Every time she licked her lips all she could taste was the lingering sweetness of Buffy. Every moment they had that night, every touch, every kiss, every taste, was everything she ever wanted and it was shattered by the jealousy and bitter anger of Satsu and the fact she had lost all sense of self-control in one single breath.

"What are you doing here?" Faith asked, not opening her eyes as she heard Buffy climb out the window and sit next to her.

"Came to watch the sunrise with you."

"I kind of want to be alone right now, B."

"I know, but I don't want you to be alone right now. You're fighting so many things inside of you and I can feel it. It hurts, Faith. You don't have to fight it alone anymore. I'm going to be right here with you, helping you fight it every step of the way."

Faith opened her eyes and turned her head to look up at Buffy. "You don't have to, you know."

"I want to. Big difference between having to and wanting to, you know," Buffy smiled as she reached for her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Forget about Satsu, okay?"

"Hard to when she..."

"Just forget about her, Faith. I took care of it."

Faith raised an eyebrow as it clicked. "You drank from her?"

"I couldn't help it," Buffy said softly as she shook a little. "She just...she smelled so delicious and the power, god it was intoxicating. No wonder you wanted it from me yet fought it. I had no idea it was so hard to fight the urge. You have more willpower in you than you know you do. Use that to fight off the darkness inside of you, Faith."

"Buffy...can you just leave me alone?"

"No," she replied firmly as she pulled Faith up and wrapped her arms around her. "Stop pushing me away. After tonight I thought you wouldn't do that anymore. One little thing and its right back to square one, isn't it?"

"Is she dead?"

"No. I don't think so?" Buffy chuckled softly. "No, she's not dead. Angel stopped me before it got that far."

"Angel huh?" Faith rolled her eyes. "Good thing he did, I guess."

Buffy only nodded as she turned to look at the sky as the first rays of sunlight began to stream out from the far edge of the horizon. Faith only watched her as her eyes lit up in amazement and wonder as she watched her first sunrise as a vampire. She could feel the excitement bubbling inside of Buffy and it made her smile wide. Buffy's eyes were almost glossed over and a few tears slid down her cheeks as she stared up at the sky.

"I can't believe this," she whispered. "It's just so...beautiful."

"It really is, isn't it?"

"How can this feel this way and yet, here we are, with a demon inside of us. It isn't supposed to be this way yet it is. How can that be?"

"Who knows? It just is, Buffy. No sense in trying to figure it out."

Buffy laughed as she wiped away her tears. "You're right. Why are you always right?"

"Not always."

"Most of the time," she smiled as she leaned in to kiss her. "Aren't you tired?"

"Fucking exhausted."

"Let's go back inside and go to bed. Got a long day ahead of us and I was hoping we could sleep for most of it," Buffy laughed as Faith laughed right along with her.

"It's just the easy, isn't it?" Faith asked as they stood up slowly and made their way to the window. "To just forget what happened."

"Are you talking about what just happened or are you talking about the past?"

"Both."

"You need to learn to let go of some things, Faith. Just let them slide and move on. It's a lot easier than you think."

"Don't you think I haven't tried to do that? Fuck, every piece of my past haunts me in one way or another every single day whether I think about it or not. You know what I want to disappear?"

"Why?"

"Cos of everything and everyone here. We're not going to get peace and quiet, we're never going to go a day without a fight, with each other or someone else. If we left, we could have our own lives, do it our own way for once."

"Faith, as good as that sounds, you know we can't."

"You might not be able to, but I can. Nothing ever stopped me before."

"What did you do for those four years nobody heard from you?"

"What didn't I do, Buffy? I went wherever I pleased and I did whatever the fuck I wanted, when I wanted to and I didn't have to answer to anyone but myself. Do you want to know something stupid?" Faith asked as they climbed inside. "I dreamt of you every single night. Granted it was a lot like the way it is now, but minus the whole being a vampire thing."

"It's not stupid."

"No, but it was freedom and I felt trapped and haunted every time I dreamt of you. Always thought I could never have you, that I'd never be good enough for you. Goes to show you dreams don't always turn out to be what they are or can become in reality."

Her walls were down, just barely a pile a rubble at her feet. She was opening up in ways she never thought she could before and even though she hadn't opened up much, it was just one piece of the bigger puzzle. She laughed at herself as she led the way to Buffy's room, having a hard time believing half the crap that had come out of her mouth. It was all true though and bit by bit she was learning to bear her soul and lay it out for only Buffy to see. She wanted her to see, she wanted her to know and to understand, yet she just didn't know where to start. She had learned how to deal with her past, her mistakes over the years, but every time she looked at Buffy she couldn't stop the flood of memories, both bad and good, that came back to her.

"If I got to go a fucking eternity thinking about this shit, I'm gonna go insane," she muttered to herself.

"Thinking about what?" Buffy asked even though the look in her eyes told Faith she already knew.

Faith didn't answer her. She just stripped out of her clothes and crawled into bed. She closed her eyes as her head hit the pillow and she sighed out softly as Buffy laid down next to her. Buffy kissed her lightly on the lips, lingering as she waited for Faith to kiss her back. She didn't have the strength nor did she have the energy. She was hungry, tired and felt dead for the first time since she'd been turned.

It definitely wasn't the best feeling to have when she was lying in bed next to Buffy and trying to finally bask in the afterglow of the amazing night they'd shared before it fell apart on them.

"Stop thinking about her," Buffy whispered as she laid close to Faith with an arm draped loosely over her stomach. "Do it for me. Please?"

"Fine," Faith whispered, half asleep.

"You're still thinking about her."

"Nah," Faith chuckled as she opened her eyes and looked down at Buffy. "Just thinking of how good it'd feel to sleep forever. That's how fucking tired I am."

"Right there with you," Buffy smiled as she kissed her shoulder.

"Anyone else comes in here and I'll fucking kill them."

"Faith..."

"What, B? I want to sleep. Can't fucking sleep when you got people kicking down the doors and getting all up in your business."

"I told you, I took care of it. Nobody else is going to come up here unless there's an emergency. It's just you and me, Faith. Got as long as we need to sleep then..."

"Then slayer duty calls," Faith muttered. "Do you want to know why I stayed away from everyone for as long as I did? I couldn't deal with the pressure, with the responsibility."

"Do you think I can?"

"We gonna argue about this now or are we gonna get some sleep?"

Buffy sighed as she rolled away from Faith, still lying close to her, but no longer touching her. Faith groaned as she turned on her side and reached out for her. She had no idea what else to say, what to think. All she knew was the woman she'd felt so many things for was right there with her, feeling everything she was feeling, if not more.

Sleep came rather easily for both of them after they spent what felt like hours just staring at each other. Faith woke up first, feeling like she wanted to run and it took everything inside of her to stay right where she was with Buffy draped over her, holding her and breathing lightly against her neck. Too many emotions made her feel torn between them, feeling as if she didn't know which way to go. She knew what she wanted, she knew how she felt, yet there was still that lingering doubt deep inside her that she only _thought_ she knew what she wanted.

Faith groaned a little as she turned to look at the digital clock sitting on the nightstand to her left. It was almost four in the afternoon and she sighed as she relaxed as much as she could. She was hungry, the thirst insatiable and unrelenting as it began to wreck havoc on her mind and her body.

She closed her eyes as a pounding headache came on. She forced out the images of Buffy's dream as she still slept soundly. She'd give everything to go back to the way she was before, but not to give up what she had with Buffy now. The harder she tried to push everything out of her, yearning for the silence she once had, the more she picked up and the more it drove it positively insane.

"Faith, stop twitching," Buffy mumbled in her sleep as she slid off of her and slowly opened her eyes. "If you are hungry, go. Just come back to bed when you're done."

"I wasn't twitching."

"You were," Buffy pointed out as she reached down and placed her hand over Faith's thigh. "See, twitching. Go, eat, drink...whatever you want to call it. I don't like feeling you torture yourself this way."

"But I..."

"Just go," Buffy said firmly as she pushed Faith off the bed. "I can't stand it."

Faith grumbled as she stood up from the floor and quickly threw on her clothes. Buffy looked up at her with a satisfied smirk and blew her a kiss. Faith couldn't help but smile and laugh at her reaction as she walked out of the bedroom and quietly closed the door behind her.

The castle was quiet, it seemed empty and void of any presence. Faith knew better, she could still hear and feel the thoughts and feelings of everyone there. She made her way quickly down to the medic ward, grabbed a bag of blood from the fridge and slipped out quietly so she wouldn't disturb the two injured slayers asleep in the beds. Barely had she made it to the kitchen when she heard Giles clear his throat as he stepped out of the study.

"About time you got up," he said with a coy smile. "Hungry?"

Faith nodded as he looked at the bag in her hand. "Starving."

"We've sent a team to extract the slayers that are being held by Laurence and Christopher."

"Oh."

"I wanted to speak with you, alone."

"By all means," Faith said as she motioned for him to follow her to the kitchen. She found her mug, poured the blood in and placed it in the microwave. She laughed at the look on Giles face when she turned around. "What? This is better than going after some innocent human, isn't it?"

"I suppose it is," he said as he took a seat at the kitchen table.

"What did you want to talk to me about?"

"About you coming back to Cleveland with me."

"Why?"

"I need a slayer there, Faith. A strong one. Buffy has responsibilities here and I cannot expect her to leave. The hellmouth is becoming active and god knows what'll happen if we allow it to continue to be without a slayer there to stop anything from happening."

"You want me to come to Cleveland?" Faith asked, furrowing her brow as the microwave beeped. "Just want me to up and leave to help you?"

"I understand you have a...relationship with Buffy now, but this is your calling, your purpose and you are needed."

"I get it," Faith laughed as she took her mug out of the microwave and took a tentative sip. "You don't want me to stay here with Buffy. You don't want me to be happy for once in my whole fucking life. What crawled up your ass and died, G?"

"That isn't why," he said as he shook his head. "It'll only be for a little while, Faith. Just until..."

"Until what?"

"Until you can properly train a handful of girls that are coming back with me."

Faith sighed as she lifted herself onto the counter and stared into her mug. "That it?"

"That's it. I need you there, Faith. I cannot stress how much I do."

"And when I'm done helping you? What then?"

"You can go and do as you please."

Faith nodded, knowing she had to do the right thing whether she wanted to leave Buffy or not. "When do we leave?"

"Tomorrow, bright and early. Willow will be teleporting us back to the house in Cleveland as soon as the girls are rounded up and ready to go."

"Great," she groaned as she closed her eyes.

Faith's head was pounding and swimming in thoughts of how she was going to tell Buffy she was leaving. As much as she didn't want to, she knew she had to. They had an eternity to be together, what was a couple months to a year apart between them? She drank what was left in her mug quickly before she rinsed it out and headed back upstairs, ignoring Giles and everyone else she passed on the way.

Buffy wasn't in bed when she opened the door. She was dressed and standing at the window, staring out blankly as tears rolled down her cheeks. Faith didn't need to ask why she was crying, she already knew. She knew Buffy had heard her and Giles talking. With a heavy sigh, Faith walked up behind her and gently wrapped her arms around her. She kissed the side of her neck and breathed in deeply, wanting to memorize every little thing about her.

"Why?"

"Why what, B?"

"Why do you have to go?"

"It's what I have to do. You know that."

"But..."

"I don't want to," Faith sighed. "I'd rather stay here with you."

"Then stay. Tell him no. There are plenty of girls he can take with him that are more than ready and able."

"Buffy I can't. He needs me there. You and I both know none of the girls are that ready and able. None of them have experience of working on a hellmouth."

"I didn't and look how far I got," she sighed and turned to face her. "Faith, I don't want you to leave. I just got you back and now you are just going to forget about everything?"

"No, I could never just forget about everything. It's only for a couple months, maybe a year. It's not like its forever."

"It'll feel like forever," Buffy whispered as she leaned in and kissed her lightly. "Even just a second apart from you feels like forever."

Faith laughed as she reached up and cupped Buffy's face with both her hands. She spent a moment staring deeply into her eyes, feeling herself becoming lost within seconds. She didn't want to leave, not yet, not now. She was only just beginning to get used to being in a relationship, with Buffy nonetheless and now she was leaving, as she always had in the past, but not for the same reasons this time.

All Faith's thoughts melted away as Buffy's lips met hers ever so slowly. The kiss was tender and sweet and Faith struggled to keep herself from letting it stray into more. It wasn't always about the hard, intense passion. Tender and sweet was something new to Faith and she wanted to experience it, wanted to embrace it and never have it end. Buffy smiled against her lips as she held her close. She slid her tongue over Faith's lips, sighing as Faith willingly parted her lips. Their tongues met in a slow, fiery dance, setting their emotions on fire as Buffy pulled Faith towards the bed.

Her heart was racing as the kiss passed from being tender and sweet to hard, deep and passionate. With every touch, Faith's heart beat faster, her body on fire and aching for more. They stopped, pulling apart from their kiss as they reached the bed. Passion burned brightly in Buffy's eyes as Faith stared at her and with a smile she pulled her in for another heated kiss. They fell back on the bed with Buffy underneath Faith as they kiss grew heavier, unrestricted. Faith slid a hand under her shirt, caressing the soft skin of her stomach as Buffy moaned into her mouth. She knew what Buffy wanted, what she needed. It was exactly what she wanted and needed too.

"Faith...please..."

"Please what?"

"Fuck me," Buffy whispered as she rose her hips into Faith's.

"Buffy," Faith laughed as she hovered over her, her hand still under her shirt, still gently caressing her stomach. "I'm starting to think this is just about sex."

"It is, but it's about a whole lot more too. God, it's like torture. I need you so bad it's pulling me apart inside. I can't explain it either. I've never wanted anyone as badly as I want you."

"Can't we just take it slow?" Faith asked, hardly believing those words came out of her own mouth. "We have all night."

Faith smiled down at her, seeing and feeling the frustration and the need, the want and the desire. She wanted her, hard and fast, but she wanted to have what they had the night before and what they'd had when they were at Giles' house. There was something more than just fucking. More than making love. Faith knew it was about them becoming one as they reached the edges of pleasure, ecstasy and love together.

"Slow?" Buffy sighed and she thought for a moment before nodding her head. "I can handle slow."

"Can you?" Faith asked and she tried to hide her smirk as Buffy slid her shirt up slowly. "Cos I don't think you can."

"I can...try," Buffy said as she smiled as sweetly and as innocently as she could. "You don't believe me, do you? You don't think I can handle taking things slow?"

"Nah," Faith chuckled softly as she let Buffy slide off her shirt. "You want it hard and fast. Underneath it all, you just want it to be rough, raw and full of heated passion."

"That sounded..." Buffy laughed as she shook her head. "Kind of cheesy."

"Cheesy?" Faith gasped, feigning a hurt look as she rolled off of Buffy. "What part was cheesy?"

"I was kidding."

"Fucking hope so," Faith groaned as Buffy nearly ripped her bra off and moved quickly to straddle her hips before Faith could resume her position on top. "This is supposed to be slow?"

Buffy grinned as she yanked her own shirt off, her breasts nearly spilling out of the too small lace bra she wore. Faith smiled at her, running her fingers over her jean-clad thighs, up over her stomach and over her breasts. The lace felt smooth under her fingertips and she reached around to the clasp, licking her lips slowly, her eyes locked with Buffy's as she unclasped her bra. She sat up slowly, pulling Buffy close to her as their lips crushed together. Buffy breathed heavily, her breasts and hard nipples almost painfully pressing hard into Faith's. She could only groan out loudly as she flipped Buffy over and moved her hands to the button on her jeans.

Never parting from their kiss, Faith undid the button on her jeans and lightly fingered the zipper, feeling how turned on Buffy was from her subtle teasing. She kissed her harder, devouring her mouth with her own as she slid down the zipper and slowly eased her tight jeans down. Faith moaned as Buffy cupped her through her pants and broke away from the kiss, panting heavily as she took just a moment to stare at her.

"I'm gonna miss you so fucking much, B."

"Then don't leave. Stay."

"I can't."

Buffy sighed out softly as Faith began to kiss down her neck as her hands pushed down her jeans to her knees. She trailed her tongue over Buffy's collarbone, loving how she moaned and shuddered underneath her. It took a lot of control to keep her fangs from sliding out and yet, with every swipe of her tongue across the smooth skin, it became harder for her to stay in control and even harder for her to keep the pace slow.

It'd be a long night and Faith knew they'd make every minute, every second worth it.

****

Nearly everyone in the castle was gathered out on the courtyard early the next morning. Satsu hung back, standing behind a couple of the younger slayers with fear in her eyes as she stared at Buffy and Faith. The slayers that had been taken by Laurence and Christopher had been brought back safely and without incident. Everyone knew though that it wasn't over. They'd try again and again until they got what they wanted.

"I don't want you to go," Buffy whispered against Faith's lips as she held her close. "Please stay."

"I can't, B. I'll come back. I promised you that and after last night, you can damn well be sure I'll come back to you."

"Why does this feel like a final goodbye?"

"It's not," Faith said softly and she kissed her hard, not wanting to let go. "It's just a temporary goodbye."

"You'll call me?"

"I will."

"Every day?"

"Like clockwork," Faith smiled, holding her close and sighing as she breathed in deeply to keep the tears from falling. She never knew she'd feel like this, feel like she was losing a piece of herself. She knew it was because she was in love, because she was leaving her other half behind to do what she knew she had to do. "I love you."

"I love you too," Buffy whispered, pulling back and wiping away her tears. "Be safe."

"Always."

"Faith, are you ready?" Giles called out as he stood in a small circle with the four girls that were going with them. "Everything is set. We're all ready and waiting for you."

"Give me a minute here," Faith called out and she pulled Buffy back in for once last hug. "I'll call you and I'll see you in our dreams."

"I look forward to it," she smiled, her tears flowing freely as they reluctantly let go of each other.

Faith bit her lip to keep her own tears from falling as she walked over to Giles and took in a deep breath. She looked at Willow and nodded her head, signalling that she was ready to go. With one last look at Buffy, she smiled and felt the world around her being swept out from underneath her feet. She closed her eyes as she felt the tears she'd been holding back come out and when she opened them, she found herself standing in Giles' backyard, rain pouring down from the sky and washing away her tears as they continued to fall.

"Everyone inside," Giles instructed once everyone was there safely. Faith stood where she was and closed her eyes when she felt Giles place a hand on her shoulder. "Come inside, Faith."

"In a minute."

"It won't be for long," he said softly, his voice almost drowned out by the thundering rain. "A couple of months at most. Why are you crying, Faith?"

"It hurts. Leaving her," Faith sighed. "God, I had no idea it'd hurt so badly."

"Love isn't easy and neither is being apart for even just a day at a time. It's funny though," Giles laughed as they walked into the house together. "I never once imagined you two would be together. I always thought you'd fight and continue to pretend to hate one another."

"I never hated her," Faith whispered. "I only ever loved her and tried to convince myself that I hated her."

"I know," he smiled. "I'm glad you two have gotten over your differences. It's been a long time coming."

"Too long," Faith said with a forced smile.

Faith stayed back as Giles showed the girls around the house. She only laughed to herself, mostly for forgetting the girls' names and mostly because she was love-sick and she was letting it affect her emotions, her fear and every thought that crossed her mind.

It was going to be a very long, lonely couple of months. Her heart already ached, she already missed Buffy and she wanted nothing more than to be in her arms, kissing her, holding her, making love to her until they collapsed and drifted off to sleep in each other's arms. Memories like that would keep her going and thinking of the day they were back together would get her through the lonely nights. With a heavy sigh, she went up to the guest room, closed the door and collapsed on the bed, letting her tears flow freely as she silently cried out Buffy's name.


	14. Chapter 14

Three months apart from Buffy and Faith felt as if she was completely losing her mind. Giles and the girls kept her preoccupied and her mind off of Buffy for at least four hours a day. The other twenty on the other hand, Buffy was all she could think about.

If she wasn't already fighting her own inner battle, she was now fighting another one and feeling as if she was losing. Every day that passed felt like an eternity. Every phone call never lasted long enough and every dream they shared, she wished she'd never wake up. Every morning was the same thing, she'd wake up, heat up a mug of semi-fresh blood and she'd sit on the back steps chain smoking and thinking of nothing else but of Buffy until Giles or one of the girls came to get her to start with the training.

"Faith?" Giles called out as he stepped out the back door. "What are you doing out here?"

"Sitting."

"In the sun? Don't you have a headache?"

"A killer one," Faith replied with a shrug. "Change your mind about the day off or something?"

"No," he laughed as he walked over and sat down on the chair next to her. "I thought maybe we could talk."

"About?"

"You."

"What about me? I'm fine, Giles. Nothing to worry about."

"You are not fine, Faith. Every morning you come out here and sit out here alone, looking like someone ran over your puppy. What's going on with you? I know you are not happy here."

"I'm not happy. You need me here and I told you I'd stay," Faith said softly as she choked back the tears she'd been trying not to shed since the first night they got there. "How's the progress with the girls coming along?"

"Smoothly. You have a real gift. You reach these girls and they look up to you. The way you train them might be rather unorthodox, but it works," he smiled at her as he reached out and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "I know I say this almost every day, but I appreciate you coming to help me out."

"You needed a strong slayer here and you got one."

Giles smiled at her again and sat back in the chair and closed his eyes. Faith only chuckled softly as she felt him trying to tune himself and his feelings out so she wouldn't know. Rather than say anything like she normally did, she closed her eyes and sighed heavily. Her relationship with Giles was growing. They were becoming close, friends even, and she was beginning to look up to him like the father she never had.

"Faith?"

"Yeah?"

"Anything I can do to help lift this sombre mood you've been in since we got here?"

"No."

Giles narrowed his eyes at her and shook his head. "Tell me what I can do for you, Faith."

"It would be kind of nice to see Buffy again, you know? Even if it was just for a couple of days and included a hotel room at your expense."

"I'll see what I can do. Isn't Buffy rather busy right now?"

"Not too busy she can't come here for a couple of days," Faith replied as a big smile appeared on her face.

"Find out when she can come when you talk to her next. Let me know and I'll uh, I'll make the proper arrangements for you two to spend some alone time together."

"If it wasn't so weird I'd kiss you right now," Faith laughed as she pulled her nearly empty pack of cigarettes out and lit one.

"I wish you wouldn't smoke."

"Why? Let me guess, it's a nasty disgusting habit?"

"Yes," Giles nodded. "And it doesn't make you look very attractive either. How does Buffy feel about your smoking habits?"

Faith shrugged as she took a long drag and inhaled sharply, her eyes watering a little as the nicotine ran through her body like a freight train. "She doesn't like it."

Giles only nodded and stood up from the chair slowly. "Let me know when you've talked to her. I'm going to take the girls out for a little shopping trip. Do you need anything?"

"I'm good," Faith replied. "Oh and Giles? Make sure you stay away from the mall. Those girls will end up burning a hole in your pocket. I know you have a hard time telling them no. If you stay away from the mall, they won't be tempted and the massive amounts of Council cash I know you have will be safe from their greedy hands."

"Right," he nodded. "I'll keep that in mind."

Faith watched him as he walked up to the house and disappeared inside before she got up and dragged the heavy wooden chair under the shade of the trees that lined the back fence. Her heart felt like it was racing as she pulled her cell phone, courtesy of Giles, out of her pocket and speed dialled Buffy's private line at the castle. Usually they didn't talk until later in the day, but Faith didn't care. The line rang nearly ten times before the machine clicked on. Growling under her breath, she hung up and closed her eyes. The almost forgotten cigarette singed her fingers and she swore loudly as she flicked the butt to the ground.

"Jesus," Faith groaned as her cell began to ring. She answered it before the third ring. "Buffy?"

"No, it's Willow."

"Hey, Red."

"I need to talk to you. It's uh...it's about Buffy."

"Did something happen? Is she okay?"

"She's fine and uh...something happened, yeah."

"Spit it out, Red. What's going on?"

"She..." Willow sobbed and Faith could hear her trying to regain some sense of control over her emotions. "She goes out at night and..."

"Patrol, Red. It's a part of the job."

"No. She doesn't go out on patrol. She goes out to uh...hunt."

"Hunt? Like what, bears or something?" Faith chuckled as she took the last cigarette from her pack and lit it. "Willow, what the hell are you trying to tell me?"

"She's feeding off of humans. She says...she hates the deadness of the blood we give her. Faith, we don't know what to do. She's not been herself."

"I talked to her last night. She seemed fine."

Willow sighed into the phone and Faith took that moment of silence to really let what Willow had told her sink in. "She's fine but uh, we think she's too far gone. Everything is a game, an act for her. She thinks there's nothing wrong with what she's doing. I don't know if she has a soul, Faith."

"Don't be ridiculous. She has a soul."

"How can you be so sure?"

"It comes with the territory. Our kind holds onto their soul when we get turned. Maybe she's just hungry? Did you ever think about that?"

"I don't know what to do," Willow said softly. "Nobody feels safe here with her anymore. After what happened with Satsu and after you left, she hasn't been the same."

Faith sighed as she took a drag and stared up at the cloudless sky, her headache seemingly the worst of her worries now. "What do you want me to do then? I'm in fucking Cleveland if you've forgotten already."

"Do you think Giles would mind if we uh, if we sent her there?"

"What about her responsibilities?"

"We're relieving her of them."

"Just like that? Gonna give up on her cos she's a bloodsucking vampire?"

"She doesn't care! She has no remorse, no guilt. Faith, don't you understand what's going on here? She's falling off the edge and just leaping into her own self-destruction. Nobody can reach her."

"You think I can?"

"I don't know."

"Red, where is she right now?" Faith asked as she stood up from the chair and began pacing. "Where is she? Do you even know?"

"We haven't seen her since this morning."

"Teleport me there. I'll find her."

"What about..."

"I'll call Giles later and let him know what's going on. Just bring me there, Red. Now."

"Faith..."

"What?" Faith snapped as she stopped pacing, her heart racing and her mind going a million miles an hour. "What is it? You can't? You don't want to? I thought you wanted to..."

"Put the cigarette out first. It's dangerous," Willow said and she chuckled softly as Faith breathed out loudly.

Faith grumbled under her breath as she crushed her cigarette out. "Ready."

It was quicker than the last couple of times. She barely had taken a breath and found herself standing in front of Willow in her bedroom in the castle. Willow looked like a wreck. Like she hadn't slept in days, weeks even. The massive piles of books and papers indicated that for Faith. With a wry chuckle, she slid her cell phone into the front pocket of her jeans and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Getting better that that, Red."

"It's easier and quicker when I uh...never mind," she said as she shook her head and began to push away the books strewn over the bed and sat down. "I don't know how to deal with this, Faith. I don't know how to deal with Buffy being the way she is. I've been up for days trying to find the spell Angel had been trying on you before. I'm close to figuring it out."

"Huh," Faith sighed, looking unimpressed. "Forget the god damn spells, Red. They won't work. This wasn't what you brought me for so if you don't mind, I'm gonna go look for Buffy."

"Wait."

"What?"

"Uh Dawn. She doesn't know about you and...she doesn't know about you and Buffy, you know, being together or the fact that you two are uh...immortal," Willow stuttered, her eyes darting around the room.

"She's back?"

Willow nodded. "Uh huh. She's been back for a couple weeks now. Buffy hasn't seen her, but that's normal. Ever since we got here, they really haven't...you know, hung out or talked or anything much. If you see her, don't tell her. I don't think Buffy would want her to find out this way."

"Find out what? That we're seeing each other or that we're not exactly human anymore?"

"Both," Willow whispered. "Just don't say anything, okay?"

Faith only nodded and opened the door. She sighed as she turned to look at Willow still sitting on the bed. "Can you call Giles and let him know what's going on?"

"Sure."

With a small smile, Faith walked out of the bedroom and headed for the stairs. She stopped at Buffy's bedroom door and opened it. She spent a moment just staring in, the sight before her disturbing her. The room was a mess, clothes everywhere, books torn with papers strewn about. To anyone else, to the unknowing eye, one would have thought there'd been a struggle, an intrusion. Faith knew better. Buffy was definitely self-destructing and she had a feeling she didn't have much time before it happened.

Faith slipped out of the castle without having run into anyone, much to her relief. She stood at the edge of the property, her eyes scanning over the various paths that led through the forest. One of them would lead her to Buffy, she knew that much. It took everything she had in her to focus and using some of the techniques Giles had suggested she use, she focused on the small hum she knew she only felt with Buffy and let it lead her.

The path she took was overgrown and after a couple of minutes she realized where it was leading her. To the small castle where Edward's family had held her and Buffy captive. The onslaught of fears and what ifs plagued her mind as she picked up the pace to a jog and came to a stop when the castle came into view. Buffy was in there, she knew she was. The castle was dark all but the slight flicker of candle-light coming from one of the windows on the top floor. Faith cracked her knuckles as she approached the wall and quickly scaled over it, sighing as her feet hit the ground with a soft thud.

Faith climbed in the nearest open window and listened carefully as she stood there, not breathing and not moving. She could hear voices coming from upstairs and one of them was definitely Buffy's. Slowly and as quietly as she could, she made her way up the stairs and stopped at the only closed door with the soft candle-light glow flickering from under the door.

"She'll come for you."

"I hope so," Buffy said softly. "Nadine, I want to make it clear I am not working for you or with you."

"Of course not," Nadine replied with a laugh. "We're just two vampires co-existing, doing what we need to do to survive."

Faith groaned inwardly hearing Nadine's voice. Her first thought was that she was supposed to have been dust. She was about to retreat back when the door flung open and she found herself face to face with Nadine.

"Oh, hello Faith. What a pleasant surprise."

"Nadine."

"Buffy and I were just talking about you," she tittered as she reached out and grabbed onto her arm and pulled her into the room. "When did you get here?"

"Little while ago. Don't see how that concerns you."

"Oh, it concerns me," Nadine laughed as she turned Faith to look at Buffy tied to the bed. "I believe Buffy concerns you."

"What are you doing to her?"

"Nothing," Nadine laughed as she waved her hand about and the door slammed loudly behind them. "I guess you are wondering how it is I am here. One of those little bitches staked me. Do you know how much that hurt? It took me two months to come back."

"Faith?" Buffy groaned as she opened her eyes and looked over at her. "What are you doing here?"

"Tut tut," Nadine said as she shook her head and tossed Faith onto the bed next to Buffy. "There'll be plenty of time to chat later. First, I want to know what the hell you are doing here."

"Came to find Buffy. Her friends are worried about her."

"Uh huh," Nadine laughed as she paced at the foot of the bed. "Now why would they be worried about dear sweet Buffy?"

"What the fuck are you doing to her?"

"Oh nothing. This?" Nadine pointed to the ropes that tied Buffy's hands to the bedposts. "It is just a little game we are playing. Do you want to play too, Faithy?"

"No."

Faith chose that moment to look at Buffy. She looked worn, beaten and hungry. Her eyes were lifeless until she looked over at Faith. It took more control that she knew she even had in her not to lean over and kiss her with all that she had. She missed her, a lot, but now wasn't the time.

"How did you come back?" Faith asked Nadine, her eyes not leaving Buffy's as she trailed her fingers over her tightly bound wrists. "What are you like Dracula? You always come back?"

"I am nothing like that crawling, poor excuse of a corpse. But yes, I always come back. Suffice to say, poor Edward never had that ability. Now," Nadine laughed as she pulled out a young man, pale with several bite wounds on his neck from the wardrobe. "Who is hungry?"

"Faith," Buffy whispered softly, her lips cracked and dry. "Don't. Get up and leave while you can."

"Buffy, what the fuck? I'm not leaving. Not without you."

"What are you doing here?"

"Willow called me, brought me here. Everyone is worried about you."

"Nadine is helping me," she whispered. "She found me feeding off a couple of townies and told me she'd help me."

"Help you? With what, Buffy? What the fuck can she help you with?"

"I need to understand what I am."

"How, by letting her tie you up and force you to drink from an innocent stranger?" Faith asked angrily as she moved to get up from the bed. "You're fucking losing it, B."

"Are you two quite finished?" Nadine asked, irritated as she shoved the man to the floor next to the bed. "Now, Faithy. I'm sure you are quite hungry. Come, have a taste. He's quite fresh."

"Fuck you."

Faith stood up and walked up to her, anger bubbling through the blood that now coursed wildly through her body. She knew she didn't stand up to Nadine, but that wasn't stopping her. She grabbed onto her shirt, the flimsy material ripping under the force as she held her close.

"Come to play a game, Faithy?"

"No. Buffy is leaving and you are going to let her go. Whatever it is you two are doing it stops right now."

"I'm afraid I cannot let that happen. You see," Nadine laughed as she pushed Faith away from her effortlessly. "I know you are just as curious as Buffy is when it comes to understanding what you are. Do you know what you are, Faithy? Aren't you willing to find out?"

"Not like this."

"Pity."

Faith looked back at Buffy, watching her as she strained with the ropes that held her to the bedposts. The wood creaked but didn't crack and the man lying on the floor suddenly stood up and hovered over Buffy, not speaking but pleading with his eyes for her to kill him. A sadistic smile curled over her lips as she broke one hand free from her restraints. Faith tried to look away yet she couldn't. Buffy had changed. She was different now. Unrestrained, unemotional and almost too far gone to reach her and pull her back.

"She loves this part," Nadine whispered as she held onto Faith's shoulders and forced her to stand there and watch. "You need to understand that she has come to me for help, Faith. She came to me, not the other way around."

The sick, burning feeling in the pit of her stomach churned as she watched Buffy suck the man dry. With a satisfied smile, Buffy tossed him off the bed, his lifeless body hitting the floor with a loud, resonating thud. Buffy looked at Faith, their eyes locking as she untied her other hand and quickly moved until she was mere inches in front of Faith. Breathing heavily, she licked over her lips as her eyes searched Faith's as if she was looking for the answers to all her questions.

"I've missed you," Buffy whispered, her lips brushing against Faith's as she ran her hands over her arms lightly. "I was hoping you'd come. I knew you'd find a way."

"Buffy..."

"Nadine is helping me," she continued, ignoring Faith as she looked over her shoulder at Nadine. "Wouldn't you say this is better than wreaking havoc in town? That man, he offered himself to us. To me. He was ready to die, Faith and it was only a matter of time before one of us got to him."

"We need to go. Now."

"No," Buffy said as she shook her head. "You need to go. You shouldn't even be here right now. Why did you come?"

"Are you fucking deaf? I told you. Your friends are worried about you! Willow called me and brought me here. Buffy, snap out of it!" Faith said as she raised her hand and slapped her hard across the face.

"How awful," Nadine laughed as she backed away from the two of them. "Domestic violence is never the answer, don't you know that?"

"This is like foreplay for her," Buffy replied with a wry smile. "Isn't it, Faithy?"

"Buffy, don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't act like this," Faith whispered as she fought off the tears that stung her eyes. "This isn't like you. What the hell happened to you?"

"What hasn't happened to me? Faith, I never felt like this before. Never felt so alive. If I hadn't run into Nadine, who knows what could have happened to me. I was drinking from 'innocent' people and she put a stop to that."

"How, by doing this?"

"Yes," Buffy nodded. "You need to understand she isn't as bad as you think she is. She's not out for revenge."

"I'm really not," Nadine smiled. "Edward might have been family, but we were never that close."

Faith couldn't stand being so close to Buffy, not with her acting the way she was now. She backed up slowly to the door and tugged on the handle. It wouldn't budge and when she looked over at Nadine and Buffy, they just laughed at her. She started shaking as she leaned against the closed door, her eyes darting back and forth between the two of them.

Buffy walked up to her, smiling as she wrapped her arms around her tightly. "Didn't you miss me?"

"I did."

"Why are you trying to leave me?"

"Buffy..."

She pouted as she raised her hand and lightly trailed her fingertips over Faith's lips. "It's been too long, Faith. You are constantly on my mind and I have to wonder if I've been on yours."

"You know you have. Buffy, have you forgotten everything we've been talking about every god damned day since I left? Have you forgotten our dreams? Are you even in there anymore?"

"Silly, of course I am," Buffy laughed as she forcefully kissed her. Faith didn't respond and with a huff, Buffy pulled back. "What's the matter, Faithy? I thought you missed me? I thought you loved me?"

"I thought I did too," she replied as she pushed Buffy away from her. "I shouldn't have come."

"You would have eventually. Everything has changed now."

"So, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying...sure, I still love you, but..." Buffy smirked as she ran her hands through her hair. "We're very different now, you see. I cannot drink dead blood. It makes me feel...what's the word I'm looking for here, useless."

Faith knew at that moment that Nadine had some sort of spell over Buffy. There was no other reasonable explanation. She grabbed onto Buffy and pulled her in close, her eyes boring deep into Buffy's as she breathed heavily. She had to get her out of there and as far away from Nadine as she possibly could. She wasn't leaving without her and the voice deep inside of her kept screaming at her to bring Buffy back, to break the spell that Nadine had over her. She just didn't know how she was going to do that and without another thought, she pulled her in even closer and crushed her lips against Buffy's, kissing her deep and hard.

Buffy moaned into the kiss as she held Faith close to her, kissing her back just as hard. There was nothing passionate about the kiss, Faith knew that, but she had to try to bring back whatever they'd felt before. She had to try to get Buffy to feel it again, to see what was really going on. The longer the kiss went on, the more Faith felt her relax in her embrace and she felt it go from being hard to almost tender in a raw, passionate way. She slid her hands under the hem of Buffy's shirt, her fingers gliding over the smooth skin of her back as she kissed her harder.

"Oh god, Faith...Faith?" Buffy groaned as she broke away from the kiss and blinked a couple of times. "What are you doing here?"

"Buffy?"

"Oh god," she sighed as she buried her face into her neck. "I've missed you so much."

"Buffy, come on...let's get the fuck outta here."

"Tut tut," Nadine said angrily as she pulled them away from each other. "Now look at what you've done, Faithy."

Faith shook her head as she reached for Buffy's hand. Neither said a word as they broke the door from its hinges and walked out. Nadine stood there with her mouth wide open and Faith turned around, smirked and winked before she tugged on Buffy's hand and led her towards the stairs. Her heart dropped a little when Buffy resisted and let go of her hand, staring at her as if she'd seen a ghost, was disgusted or both.

"Come on, B. What's the hold up?"

"What are you doing here?"

"We gonna do this?" Faith groaned. "What the hell was going on in there, Buffy?"

Buffy shrugged as she looked back at the doorway for a second. "Nothing. It was just a game, Faithy."

"Do not fucking call me that," Faith said through gritted teeth. "Now come on, we need to get the fuck outta here now."

"No," she responded with a pout. "Appreciate you coming here to check on my well being and all, but I didn't need this and I didn't need you coming here uninvited."

Faith scoffed, grabbing onto her and carried her out of the castle, ignoring the fists that hit her arms and shoulders continuously. The further away from the castle and Nadine they got, the less Buffy resisted. It wasn't long before she broke down and started to cry, her tears staining Faith's shirt and warming the cool skin beneath it. Over and over Buffy apologized between sputtering sobs and Faith stopped in the middle of the pathway and let her down on her feet.

Faith wasn't sure what the hell was going on with her, but she had an idea. Nadine was behind this, behind the way Buffy had been acting and she sure as hell wasn't going to let it continue. She'd find a way to end Nadine, to destroy her the way she should have been destroyed the first time. But that was the furthest thing from her mind at that moment. She stood there and held onto Buffy, letting her cry, letting her let it all out. Gently she stroked her back, whispering into her ear that everything would be okay even though she wasn't so sure it would be.

It took Faith awhile to get Buffy to calm down enough so they could enter the castle and get up to Buffy's room without being seen or heard by anyone. The last thing she wanted to deal with was people asking questions, questions she knew she couldn't answer until Buffy told her just what the hell was going on. As soon as they were in the bedroom, Buffy walked over to the bed and laid down. Faith sighed as she flipped off the lights and laid on the bed next to her. The whole talking thing would have to wait until the morning.

Faith couldn't sleep though, as tired as she was. Her mind was racing in time with the steady beating of her heart. It felt like she'd just drank the purest blood available even though she hadn't. The adrenaline that came with the unknown was enough to keep her wide awake throughout the night. Never once did she take her eyes off of Buffy either. A part of her didn't trust her, especially not after what she'd seen earlier. The Buffy she had seen wasn't the Buffy she knew and loved. It was someone else, Nadine perhaps, controlling her thoughts and actions.

Without realizing it and without fighting it, sleep came as the sun began to rise. Whatever they were dealing with she knew it'd be dealt with as soon as possible. The last thought she had was why Willow had waited so long to tell her just what was going on.

****

Faith woke to an empty bed and the room was clean, not a single thing out of place. She groaned as she stretched out on the bed and looked around, allowing her eyes to slowly adjust to the brightness of the sun that poured in through the windows. Barely had she woken up when the door flung open with a loud bang.

"Jesus, Red. Do you have to make so much fucking noise?"

"Did you find her?"

"Uh, yeah and I brought her back."

"Well she isn't here!" Willow exclaimed as she walked into the bedroom, panicking as she paced the floor at the foot of the bed. She stopped suddenly and looked around. "You cleaned up?"

"No. It wasn't me. I told you, Red. I found her and brought her back. Don't know where the fuck she is right now seeing how I just woke up."

Willow continued pacing and mumbling under her breath as Faith got up from the bed and began her morning stretches. The routine with Giles and the girls had become a part her daily life and she had fallen into it as easily as it was to move, to breathe and to eat, technically speaking. Willow stopped pacing and watched her for a moment then began pacing once again. Her mumbling had stopped and Faith could only chuckle under her breath as she finished the last of her stretches and straightened out her t-shirt.

"You said you brought here back here?"

"Yeah," Faith nodded. "Did you not hear me when I said that?"

"It's just...nobody has seen her and I..."

"Seen who?" Buffy asked as she walked out of the bathroom in her robe, towel in her hand and her hair still wet from the shower. "Morning, Will."

"Buffy?"

"What?" Buffy asked as she draped the towel of the back of the chair by the desk. "You okay, Will? You look like you've just seen a ghost."

Willow just shook her head and quickly walked out of the room, slamming the door hard behind her. Buffy only scoffed as she turned to look at Faith. Her eyes showed emotion, confusion, but the rest of her emitted nothing. It worried Faith a little, but only for a second until Buffy had her arms around her and was kissing her tenderly. Faith pulled back from the kiss feeling dazed, feeling as if she was floating and it wouldn't surprise her if she found she was. The kiss had been unlike anything she'd ever felt before and it truly did feel as if that was their first kiss and not one of many they'd shared.

"What was that for?"

"Nothing," Buffy smiled. "Did I tell you how much I missed you?"

"Yeah."

"Do you know how much I've missed you?"

"A lot?" Faith shrugged, playing along with her little game and hoping Buffy had the same ideas as she currently had running rampant through her mind.

"Do I have to show you how much I've missed you?"

Faith laughed as she let her thoughts disappear. "Later, B. Right now, I need some answers from you."

"Answers?" Buffy asked innocently as she backed away from Faith slowly. "Answers for what questions?"

"You know what I'm talking about, B. I want to know what the hell has been going on with you since I left and why the fuck you were with Nadine. Come on, spit it out. I got all the fucking time in the world and so do you."

Buffy lowered her eyes as she sat down on the bed. "You aren't going to like what I have to say."

For the longest time, Buffy didn't say a word. She hardly even breathed and when Faith turned her face to look at her, she saw the tears flowing from her eyes. She was scared...frightened and Faith had no idea why. Then she started to tell her what happened, beginning from the day Faith had left. Nothing could have prepared her for what she was about to hear. Nothing.


	15. Chapter 15

They sat on opposite ends of the bed, unable to look at each other. Faith didn't know how to feel, how to react to the things Buffy had just told her. Before Buffy was turned, Faith did have her under her thrall, she did make her come forward with her feelings, but the underlying fact was that Buffy had always felt that way. Faith didn't know whether to feel disgusted or happy that the thrall she did have over her, without really knowing it, had pushed her into finally taking what she always wanted.

The silence between them was surprisingly comforting. Too many words had been spoken in the last day alone for Faith to deal with. She needed the silence and she knew Buffy needed it too. There was something that bothered her though. Something was definitely off with Buffy. It wasn't just that Nadine had her under a very powerful thrall and had made her become what she truly was, a vampire. There was much more to it. Things Faith didn't want to even think could be remotely possible.

Then it really hit her square in the chest like a hard kick that nearly stopped the heart. It wasn't her own self-destruction she had to worry about. It was Buffy's.

All that time she'd worried about falling over the edge to darkness when she should have been worried about Buffy doing just that. The signs were there and all too clear and they had been even before Buffy had been turned. Running a hand through her hair, she sighed and turned to look at her, her eyes locking with Buffy's as she struggled to think of the right thing to say. Or anything at all. Everything that came to mind was blank and completely meaningless.

"So," Buffy sighed out as she leaned back on the pillows propped up against the headboard. "You aren't saying anything...or thinking anything. Faith...just talk to me."

"About what?"

"How about we start with what I just told you."

"Oh," Faith shrugged. "Kind of a lot to take in and not so much, you know? Fuck, B. I knew Nadine had some kind of control over you, but me? I didn't think I did."

"You don't...I mean, you did kind of, but when I came to see you in LA, even though I was drunk out of my mind when I finally ran into you, I kind of knew how I felt about you and was starting to learn how to accept it."

"Stop," Faith said abruptly as she held up her hand. "I don't want to talk about that. We've already talked about it how many fucking times now? It's been talked about, over it. I know how you feel. Moving on."

"Fine."

"This thrall thing, B. It's bugging the shit outta me. Are you sure that it wasn't the reason why you practically forced me into bed when we were back in Cleveland?"

"No, it wasn't that. I mean I felt that, but you know, after Dracula and what happened with him I learned a couple of things on how to resist the thrall. Nadine was just...it was stronger and different. Yours is too, but I think the whole package underneath it all is what drew me in and made you become completely irresistible to me."

"Uh huh. Knew you couldn't resist this," Faith smirked as she motioned to her body. "You know, it's been three months."

"I know."

"And I'm kind of all worked up here."

Buffy laughed as she crawled across the bed and quickly moved to straddle her legs. "You and me both."

"So, what do you think we should do about that?" Faith asked as she raised an eyebrow. She loved to tease her in any way she could, this way just being one of them and a way to get her to say exactly what was on her mind.

Buffy shook her head and laughed as she gingerly ran her fingers through Faith's hair. Their eyes locked in an intense gaze as Faith ran her fingers over her thighs and up to her stomach to untie the belt that held the robe she wore together. Faith licked her lips as she broke their gaze and her eyes roamed over Buffy's body. She let out an appreciative growl as she flipped them over so Buffy laid on her back across the middle of the bed with Faith just hovering over her.

They kissed long and hard, just melting into one another as the weight of the last three months apart pulled them in. Taking it slower than they were used to, Faith stopped Buffy every time she tried to rid her of her clothes and ended up pinning both her hands against the mattress above her head. All she wanted to do was kiss her. Everything else could wait.

"Faith...please..."

"Huh?" Faith sighed as she looked down at her. "What is it, B?"

"Take off your fucking clothes."

"No, we're just kissing right now. That's all I wanna do is kiss you."

"Don't you want to..."

"I do, but not right now."

"What's wrong with you?" Buffy asked sounding a little hurt as she squirmed out from underneath Faith and pulled her robe closed. "It's been three months and all you want to do is kiss me?"

"Got a problem with that?"

"No, it's just I...god, all I can think about is making love with you right now. You're torturing me with this 'I just wanna kiss you' crap that's spewing out of that mouth of yours."

"Buffy," Faith sighed as she sat up on the bed and looked over at her. "I know it's kind of late to say this, but I want to take things between us slow. It has been great so far you know, despite the fact we've spent more time apart than together ever since..."

"It became official between us?"

"Yeah."

"I see."

"Besides, B. I can't stay here for long. I kind of just up and left when Willow called me. I'm sure Giles is pretty fucking pissed off at me right now. Kind of screws up the little plan I had for you to come to Cleveland for a couple of days to spend some time with me, but uh, everyone here kind of was planning on sending you over there for awhile. Relieving you of your duties here until you got back on track and start acting like yourself again."

"What?"

"Uh, just telling you what I know which isn't much. Didn't really have time to ask questions when I got here. All I wanted to do was find you."

Buffy ignored her as she walked to the closet and disappeared inside. When she emerged a few minutes later she was dressed in her sweats and a loose fitting t-shirt. She didn't even look at Faith as she pulled her hair up into a tight ponytail and walked out of the bedroom, slamming the door behind her. Faith laid back on the bed and closed her eyes, waiting a couple of minutes before she got up and went after her.

"Buffy, where are you going?"

"To train," she responded hastily as she skipped down the stairs. "Where else would I be going wearing this?"

"Buffy..."

She stopped on the landing and spun around to face Faith suddenly. Faith hadn't expected it and she crashed into Buffy and they fell down the rest of the stairs. "Jesus, Faith. Fall much?"

"Sorry," she muttered as she picked herself up from the floor and reached down for Buffy's hand and pulled her up quickly. "Are you okay?"

"Fine," Buffy scoffed as she let go of Faith's hand and headed for the training room quickly. Faith could barely keep up with her and she stopped short when Buffy walked in.

There were a handful of girls doing their morning exercises and Faith could only stand by the door and watch as Buffy walked over to the girls and gathered them in a small group. This was part of her job, to lead them through their training and Faith watched; completely mesmerized by the way Buffy had complete control over the girls. She walked over to a pile of mats on the far wall and sat down, her eyes never once leaving Buffy's as she led the girls through a series of stretches.

Faith's body was itching to join, but not for the obvious reasons. She fought with her urges and sat there for nearly two hours until Buffy dismissed the girls and walked up to her. Breathing heavily and her skin flushed, she flopped down on the mats next to Faith and closed her eyes. Faith smirked as she felt how worked up Buffy was as she pulled her onto her lap.

"So, it's later...what do you say we go upstairs?"

"Why?" Buffy asked as she raised her eyebrows. "It's deserted down here. Nobody is going to come in for another hour. You can have your naughty little way with me right here."

"Uh huh," Faith laughed as she shook her head. "I'd rather be in your room with the door locked. Don't need to traumatize anyone now."

"Traumatize? I should be hurt by that comment, shouldn't I?"

"Nah," Faith shook her head. "Just saying. I'm not too fond of being caught."

"But it's exciting not knowing if someone is going to just walk in," Buffy said as innocently as she could. "Don't you think that's exciting?"

"Maybe a little."

"A little? What happened to the fearless Faith you used to be?"

"Left her behind, B. I'm a different Faith now."

"Uh huh," she mocked as she took Faith's hands in her own and interlaced their fingers. "How come you didn't join us? Could have used another original slayer to help out with the girls."

"Didn't look like you needed any help. Besides, you were doing it all by yourself before I came back into your life. Don't wanna feel like I'm stepping into your territory or something."

Buffy sighed as she lightly kissed her on the lips and pulled back with a smile on her face. "You aren't stepping into my territory, Faith. Would have been nice to work together, show the girls a thing or two about what it really means to be a slayer."

"I can show you a thing or two about what it means to be a slayer," Faith smirked as she let go of her hands and slid her hands over Buffy's waist and pulled her in closer as she shifted her weight on the mats. "It's all got to do with stamina and unfortunately for both of us we've worn each other out before we've actually got the chance to test that out."

Buffy laughed as she pushed Faith back on the mats and hovered over her, a few strands of her hair falling from the ponytail and tickling the sides of Faith's face. She smiled as she leaned in to kiss her, grinding her pelvis hard into Faith's as their lips met. The kiss went from sweet and passionate to hard and deep with wild lust. Faith moaned into her mouth as Buffy slid a hand under her shirt and roughly grabbed onto her breast, her thumb trailing over her already hard nipple through the thin material of her bra. She broke away from the kiss and grabbed onto Buffy's hand, not moving it away just yet as she gazed into her eyes.

Buffy's eyes were dark with lust as her fingers slipped under Faith's bra slowly, tantalizingly teasing her hard nipple as she breathed heavily, watching Faith's reaction with every pinch and gentle caress. Faith slipped her hands under the hem of Buffy's shirt, holding her close as she raked her short nails over the soft skin of her lower back. She leaned up slightly and captured Buffy's lips with her own, kissing her deeply as she tried to stop the moans that escaped. The harder she kissed Buffy, the more her body buzzed with need. She pulled back from the kiss when she felt Buffy's fangs pierce her lower lip.

"Gotta watch those fangs."

"Sorry," she whispered, smiling as she ran her tongue over her fangs. "Can't help it. When I get so turned on they just come out."

"Mm-hmm. You are so turned on and I've barely touched you."

"You haven't," Buffy mused. "Guess it's just been a little too long and just kissing you and touching you makes me..."

"I know, baby. All I gotta do is think about you, think of all the things I can do to you and damn."

Buffy smiled again as she slid her hand out from under Faith's shirt and pulled her in for another deep, passionate kiss. The kiss didn't last long and they broke apart quickly as they heard footsteps approach the training room. Buffy leapt up from the mats and straightened out her clothes and turned to the door as Dawn walked in.

"There you are," she sighed out as she walked in. "I've been looking everywhere for you, Buffy."

"Well, you found me. What do you want, Dawn?"

"Giles is on the phone and he...what the hell is she doing here?" Dawn asked as she finally noticed Faith sitting on the mats. "Buffy, what the hell is Faith doing here?"

"Uh," she looked back at Faith and shrugged. "Came for an impromptu visit?"

"Why?"

Faith raised an eyebrow at Buffy as she stood up and stood close to her. "You gonna tell her?"

"Tell me what?" Dawn asked as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Oh wait, don't tell me you two are...no...that's not possible. I would have known by now if you two are together."

"Well, we are."

"Buffy, are you fucking crazy?"

"No, I'm not fucking crazy, Dawnie."

"But..."

"What?" Faith asked, trying to keep herself from smirking as she stared at the look of disbelief and disgust on Dawn's face. "You got a problem with me being with Buffy?"

"Yes," she snapped. "You are fucking crazy, Faith. We can't trust you. How do we know you aren't using her? How do we know you won't turn around and go all evil again and try to kill her and everyone else?"

Buffy sighed out heavily as she reached for Faith's hand and held it tightly. "Because she won't. I trust her, Dawnie. I think you should try to see beyond the past and see her for who she is now."

Dawn shook her head and laughed, looking at both of them as if they'd completely lost their minds. "Look beyond the past? That's not so easy especially not when it comes to someone who tried to kill my sister!"

"Hey, she tried to kill me too, kid. Don't forget that."

"How could I?" Dawn asked as she rolled her eyes. "Does everyone else know?"

"Yes," Buffy nodded her head. "Everyone does."

"Why am I always the last one to know these things?" Dawn scoffed as she turned to walk out. "Just because everyone else is okay with you two being together doesn't mean I am."

Buffy shrugged as she turned to face Faith, a coy little smile curling across her lips as she placed her hands around the back of her neck. "Give her some time. She'll be fine in a couple of days. It took her almost a year to get over the fact that I was with Satsu."

"And when are you gonna tell her what we are?"

"Never?" Buffy replied with a shrug. "Let her soak in the news about us first then we'll ease her into the other news."

"Do you always keep things from her?"

"Sometimes."

"Why?"

"Because," Buffy whined a little as she pouted. "Do we have to talk about my little sister? I kind of wanted to keep doing what we were doing before she came in here."

"We will continue, but I should probably call Giles."

"Why?"

"Cos, B. I told you. I just took off without a word and he needs me there."

"Fine. Call him. I'm going to go have a shower," Buffy said with a huff as she walked out of the training room, leaving Faith in there alone.

With a shrug she walked out after her and followed her up to the bedroom. She watched Buffy as she stripped out of her clothes as she walked to her bathroom, leaving them where they landed on the floor. Faith only chuckled softly under her breath as she found her cell phone sitting on the table next to the bed and speed dialled Giles' number.

Barely had the line rang twice before Giles picked up the phone and instantly began yelling at her for taking off. Sighing, she laid back on the bed and proceeded to listen to him yell at her about how irresponsible she was being and waited for him to stop before she said a single word. She knew from the way he was yelling at her that it'd be a very long, mostly one-sided phone call.

****

Buffy sat on the edge of the tub, her robe tied tightly around her as she listened in to Faith's conversation with Giles. It made her feel sick to her stomach hearing how 'far gone' she was. She knew she was slipping, falling away from who she really was. Then again, ever since she'd been turned she didn't know who she was anymore. She stood up and walked over to the sink and stared at her reflection in the mirror, cringing at the pale, lost woman that stared back at her. The bags under her eyes were evidence of many sleepless nights and the pained look in her green eyes showed the pain she constantly felt coursing throughout her body.

She didn't ask for her life to turn out this way. All she wanted was to be happy, to be safe and alive and to love and be loved. It was too much to ask for all of the things she wanted, she always knew that. It just hurt her, tore at her soul, knowing she'd never be the woman she wanted to be. She'd never be truly alive ever again and she'd be stuck with her emotions, her pain and her guilt forever.

Watching as her tears fell from her eyes, she turned on the water and splashed it over her face, trying to shake the tears that just didn't want to stop. For weeks she'd allowed Nadine to take control over her, to turn whatever it was they had into nothing but a sick game. There was something about Nadine that made her trust her even when she knew she shouldn't. This was the same woman that held both her and Faith captive, this was the same woman who forced Faith with the decision to turn her or let her die. This was the same woman who had been staked and had come back even stronger than she had been before.

"Buffy?" Faith called out softly as she knocked on the bathroom door. "Can we talk?"

"It's open."

Faith walked in and leaned against the doorframe, her lips pursed in a tight line as she held onto her cell tightly in her hand. "I have to go back."

"You just got here."

"I know. I did promise Giles I'd stay and help him as long as he needed me. The girls can't handle this on their own and Giles can't train them the way I can."

"When are you leaving?" Buffy asked as she turned the tap off and reached for her towel. "Now?"

"As soon as I go find Red and ask her to teleport me back."

"Oh."

"Yeah," Faith sighed. "But you are coming to see me in a week, B. Giles booked us a hotel room so we can be alone. At least that's something to look forward to, right?"

Buffy smiled faintly as she walked up to her and slipped her arms around her waist. "Yeah. Something to look forward to. Got to have that."

"I wish I could stay or bring you back with me right now, but..."

"It's not possible. I know."

"I'm worried about you though, B."

"Why?"

"Cos you know why. Stay away from Nadine, you hear me? You have to stay away from her, B."

"I know. I've tried."

"Try harder."

Buffy bit her lower lip and nodded her head slowly. "I know. I'll try harder. It's just impossible to. Once she gets to you and that's it. I have no control over myself or my thoughts when she's there."

"Buffy, just don't let her get into your head like that."

"What the hell am I supposed to do, Faith? It's not like I intentionally let her do that to me!" Buffy said as she fought back her tears. "If I stay here, she'll come to me again. I can't lock myself up inside and not do my job."

"B, you are strong. I know you are. You can fight whatever kind of thrall or spell she has over you."

"What if I can't?"

"Then I'm coming back here and dragging your ass to Cleveland with me."

Buffy laughed and sighed as she laid her head on Faith's shoulder and let the tears roll down her cheeks. "I feel so lonely without you, Faith."

"I know, B. We'll see each other in a week and in a couple of months I'll be able to leave Giles and the girls and do what I want. Care the guess what my plans are for when that time comes?"

"No, what?" Buffy asked as she leaned back to look at Faith. "Do your plans include being with me?"

Faith nodded as she wiped away her tears. "Of course they include you, B. I'd be crazy not to think of the future without you in it."

"Everything is so different now," Buffy said softly. "Why couldn't it have always been like this?"

"Don't know. I've been asking myself that every day since you first kissed me."

"Can you stay a little longer?"

"Giles is waiting for me."

"I know," Buffy pouted. "But, I kind of wanted to...you know...before you go."

Faith wiggled her eyebrows as she slipped her hands inside Buffy's robe and lifted her up. Buffy squealed out as she wrapped her legs around Faith's waist as she made her way out of the bathroom and towards the bed. She gently laid Buffy down on the bed and stared down at her as she slowly stripped out of her clothes then reached for the belt that held the robe together and pulled it apart. Buffy almost shyly smiled up at her as she sat up and slipped the robe off of her and tossed it to the ground.

"I knew you wouldn't resist."

"How could I?" Faith asked as she laid down on top of Buffy and sighed out contently. "Hard to say no to you."

Buffy smiled as Faith leaned in to kiss her, moaning as their bodies melded together as if they were one. She wanted to take this slow, make it last as long as possible so she could keep Faith there right with her. She didn't want to ever let her go even though she knew she had to. Every time she got Faith back it was like they were pulled apart just as quickly. There was always something or someone standing in the way, ready to keep them from being together for very long. Buffy knew if it was up to her, she'd never let Faith go.

She closed her eyes as Faith broke apart from the kiss and began to lightly kiss over her jaw and ever so slowly licked and nipped her way down her neck and over her collarbone. They both ignored the ringing of Faith's cell phone that was in her jeans pocket and for a second Faith stopped her sensual assault on Buffy's breasts and glanced up at her, fighting with doing what was right and to continue what she was doing. With a reassuring smile, Faith continued, her tongue swirling over her stiff left nipple as her hand roamed freely over her stomach, teasing the soft skin over her hip bone.

Her heart began to race as Faith trailed her lips down her stomach, occasionally biting into the soft yet firm skin. Every time they were intimate it surpassed everything she'd ever felt and Faith never failed to disappoint her. Every time they made love she could feel every bit of how Faith felt about her with every gentle kiss, every soft lick and every tender playful bite. A feeling of pure bliss washed over her each and every time and the world itself felt as if it had stopped and slipped away from them.

Faith's cell phone began to ring again and she sighed as she slowly spread Buffy's legs and licked her inner thighs, their eyes locked in a loving yet lust filled gaze. Buffy smiled down at her as she ran her hands gingerly through her hair, urging her on, no longer wanting to take things too slow. She needed Faith more than she needed anything else in that moment. She knew Faith needed her too, she could feel it with every hard, long lick she placed over her slick cunt.

"Oh god..." Buffy moaned as she held Faith where she was and closed her eyes. "Right there, baby."

Faith bit her clit gently as she slid a single finger slowly inside of her, holding down Buffy's hips with her other hand as she leaned back to look up at her. Buffy whimpered at the loss of her mouth on her and jerked her hips in time to the slow thrusting of her finger, silently pleading for more. She tried to keep her eyes open and locked with Faith's, but it was near impossible with the floodgate of pleasure thundering through every inch of her body.

With one hand she gripped onto the back of Faith's head while the other held onto the sheets next to her. She'd waited for three months to feel this, to be with Faith and she didn't want this to ever end. Panting slightly she bit down on her lower lip, feeling her orgasm building with every thrust of Faith's finger inside of her and with every gentle nibble and lick Faith placed over her throbbing clit, it brought her closer to the edge.

Whimpering and moaning, she felt her body grow rigid as her orgasm ripped through her harder than it ever had before and after a few long minutes, Faith slid her finger out from her and licked it clean before placing a light kiss over her clit and moving back up her body until her lips were on Buffy's. They kissed feverishly, wild with wanton lust until Faith pulled back, gasping for air.

"Faith..."

"Yeah, B?"

"Amazing," she whispered against her lips.

Faith smiled as she rolled off of Buffy, pulling her with her so she ended up on top. "Giles is gonna be so pissed."

"Don't talk or think about him right now."

"I was just saying..."

"Don't," Buffy whispered as she placed a finger over her lips. "You'll go back when I'm ready for you to go back. Let him be pissed off. It'll do him some good."

"If you say so."

"I know so," Buffy smiled as she slowly kissed down her body, not stopping until she reached the apex of her thighs. "I don't think you'll want to leave once I'm finished with you whether or not you have to."

"Fuck..." Faith moaned as her hips arched into Buffy as she teased Faith's clit with the tip of her tongue.

Buffy pulled her in closer, driving her tongue deep inside of her as her fingers dug into her hips, holding her down on the bed as firmly as she could. This was her addiction, right where she was tongue fucking Faith furiously yet teasing her, drawing out her orgasm as long as she could. She'd never get tired of it nor would she ever get used to the way Faith always responded to her. All she had to do was look at her and whether or not it was her own thrall at work, she had Faith completely under her spell and wrapped around her fingers and in this case, she literally did.

****

Faith woke from a deep, peaceful sleep with Buffy holding onto her tightly, almost as if she was afraid to let go. She sighed as her phone began to ring again for what felt like the millionth time in the last seven hours. She knew it was Giles, but she wasn't in the mood to talk to him right then. He was pissed beyond belief, she knew he was. All she needed right then was to be with Buffy. Three months was far too long to go without seeing one another and she knew she had to damn well make sure if they ever had to be apart again that they would not go that long without even a short weekend visit.

"Can't you turn that thing off?" Buffy mumbled as she buried her face into Faith's neck. "Or better yet, answer it and tell Giles to fuck off."

Faith chuckled as she lifted Buffy's chin so she could kiss her. "Love to tell him to fuck off, but I don't think he'd appreciate that much."

"You have to go, don't you?"

"Yeah. Put it off long enough and the longer I do, the madder he's gonna be. Don't wanna fuck up that weekend visit with you, B."

"Me neither."

With a heavy sigh Faith pulled Buffy off of her and slowly got dressed, the lump in her throat rising as she zipped up her jeans. She hated feeling this way, feeling like as soon as she left she was doing what she used to always do, get some and get gone. At least she knew better now and she knew that it wasn't like that. There were just some things neither of them could control right now and them being together without being pulled apart was one of them.

"Faith?" Buffy said softly as she pulled the covers around her tightly. "God, I hate this. I hate saying goodbye."

"I don't want to go," she replied as she knelt down on the bed next to her and captured her lips in a gentle kiss. "This sucks."

"What does? Having to leave?"

"No, well yeah, but this whole thing. Why can't we just be together, no interruptions, nobody or nothing pulling us apart? It better not always fucking be like this or I'm gonna have to kill someone for coming in between us all the time."

"Faith..."

"B, I knew this wasn't gonna be easy for us, but how can we find out just what we have when we've spent more time apart than we have together?"

Buffy pouted as she pulled Faith in for another kiss, her tears mixing with Faith's as the kiss grew deeper. Faith had to pull away and she wiped away her own tears as she walked to the bedroom door, the lump in her throat growing bigger by the second. With one last look, she blew Buffy a kiss and slipped out of the room and began her search for Willow.

The castle was quiet, most of the occupants having settled in for the day. Willow was easy to find. She sat in the study having a cup of tea with Kennedy while they went over a stack of books. Faith took a seat across from them at the table and reached for the plate of cookie that sat in the middle. Kennedy smirked as she ran her fingers over Willow's neck lightly until Willow finally noticed Faith was sitting down there in front of them.

"Got a favour to ask you, Red."

"You need me to send you back to Cleveland?" Willow asked, chuckling as she placed her cup of tea down on the table in front of her. "Don't ask how I know. I was actually expecting you hours ago."

"Got a little caught up," Faith shrugged. "Happens."

"Uh huh," Willow smiled.

"See you later, Faith," Kennedy said as she stood up and walked out of the study but not before taking a handful of cookies with her.

"Giles is going to be pissed off it took you so long to come back. Do you realize he's called me about ten times since this morning?"

"Yeah, I know. Just send me back, Red. Save the small talk for another time."

With a nod Willow motioned for her to stand over in the middle of the study. Faith closed her eyes and held her breath. As much as she hated to teleport, it was faster and cheaper than taking a plane. All she worried about was what Giles would say to her. He was pissed beyond belief of course. She opened her eyes and found him standing there, frowning and shaking his head. With not a word said, he left her standing alone in his kitchen.


	16. Chapter 16

Faith paced the kitchen for a couple of minutes, her heart still racing from being teleported and her mind swirling with a million different thoughts. She let Giles stew in his anger for a couple of minutes before she found him sitting out on the front porch with a cup of tea in his hands, his glasses in his lap and his eyes closed.

"Look, Giles..."

"You did what you had to do," he said as he held up his hand and nodded. "I understand you were needed. What I do not understand is why you up and left like that without a single word. If you had explained to me what you knew was going on I wouldn't have had much of a problem with you going."

With a nod she sat down on the bench next to him. Despite the fact that she felt she was being treated like a child, she knew Giles meant well, to a point. She'd already heard an earful from him and she wasn't quite in the mood to hear it all over again. And as much as she wanted to tell him she was sorry, she wasn't.

"How is she?" Giles asked when a few minutes passed without either of them speaking. "This Nadine, you said she had some kind of spell over Buffy?"

"Thrall. Completely different."

"I see."

"Buffy is doing better, I think. I figure as long as she can stay away from Nadine she'll be okay."

"All these months and we had no idea."

"A month, not months," Faith stated as she sighed out loudly. "It did start when we came back here though. I can't help but feel a little responsible for the things she's been doing."

"Whatever she does, it isn't your fault. You cannot control somebody's actions. You know this."

She rolled her eyes as she leaned back on the bench. "I can. Control people's actions and thoughts I mean. Don't know how I do it, don't even try to do it, but I know I can."

"Ah, yes. We've talked about this. Do you think Buffy has fallen for you because of the thrall you had over her?"

"No. She told me she...Giles, I really don't feel comfortable talking about this."

"I know. You told me before," he chuckled softly. "I can't help but wonder though."

"About what? How Buffy feels about me?"

Giles nodded as he slipped his glasses on and finally turned to look at her. "I know the feelings she has for you are deep and that they are real. Sometimes though, the thought comes to me that it wasn't just her own free will that brought you two together. Not saying you intentionally used the thrall against her, but when you tell me you don't know how you do it, well...that says something else completely to me."

"Still having a hard time believing she actually loves me, huh? You don't really have a lot of faith in me, do you?"

"I do. That isn't it," Giles replied softly. "The timing, those years without a single contact and then all of a sudden you two are back in each other's lives acting as if the past wasn't there."

"Oh it's there, Giles. It's there every day haunting me. It's called forgiving, forgetting and moving forwards instead of backwards. Should try it sometime."

It was one of those moments where Faith knew she had Giles backed into his imaginary corner and completely at loss for words. It happened a lot in the last couple of months whenever they sat down and had a little heart-to-heart chat. What surprised Faith the most was some of the things that came out of her own mouth. Her maturity was showing and she no longer had the walls up that used to block everyone, including herself, out. She'd come to the conclusion shortly after coming back to Giles' that being a vampire, immortal, now had a lot to do with how she was maturing.

A lot more of it had to do with her relationship with Buffy.

Relationship. Love. Words and meaning that Faith never thought she'd experience nor feel. She was so lost in her own thoughts that when she cleared her head she realized Giles had gone inside and she was out there all alone. She hesitated as she reached into her pocket for her cigarettes. With a heavy sigh, she left the nearly crushed pack in the front pocket of her jeans and went inside.

There was too much going on in her mind for her to focus during the regular late afternoon meeting they all had before she took the girls out on patrol. All she heard was where they had to go and the rest sounded like a foreign language to her. Even as they all headed out, she wasn't all there. The only thing she could think about was Buffy.

She worried about her in ways she never worried about anyone but herself before. Several times during patrol she found herself standing back, watching the girls as they took down the handful of vampires they'd come across in the cemetery nearest to Giles' house. At one point she sat on top of a large tombstone and chain smoked, laughing at the fact she still didn't remember the girls' names. The walk back to Giles' was full of chatter and excitement from the girls. Faith barely paid attention to them as she stared at the road in front of her, watching as she took each step in stride.

It felt like seconds had passed, but she knew it'd been a good three hours they'd been out on patrol. After the girls were safely inside, Faith claimed the first shower and locked the whining, protesting girls out in the hallway. She drowned them out with the sound of the water almost whistling out of the showerhead and when the water was just hot enough, she stripped out of her clothes and stepped under it.

"Fuck, what now?" Faith muttered as her cell began to ring. She stepped out of the shower and wrapped a clean towel around her body as she pulled her cell out of her jeans pocket. "Yeah?"

"Faith, it's me."

"Hey, B."

"It's so hard," she whispered, barely audible over the poor reception. "I can't stop thinking about you."

Faith, having feared the worst, sighed out in relief. "I know, B. The weekend isn't that far away. Before you know it, you and me are gonna be breaking in one of the beds at one of Cleveland's not so finest hotels."

"Such a charmer," Buffy laughed. "It's fucking torture is what it is."

"What?" Faith asked, knowing exactly what she was talking about, but always wanted to hear her say it.

"Being apart from you. Ever since...you know, our first time together, I can't get you off my mind. You've invaded it. You are always there even when you aren't and you aren't there when I want you the most."

"B..." Faith trailed off as she reached into the shower and turned off the water. "Couple more months and you'll be changing your tune. You'll be sick of me, you'll think you hate me and want me to go away."

"No."

"No?"

"Never going to happen," Buffy replied with a matter of fact tone. "Did you find out how much longer you'll be staying there?"

"Not yet," Faith sighed as she walked over to the sink and stared at her reflection in the mirror. "The girls are beginning to handle themselves alright. I figure a couple more weeks and I can send them out on patrol alone. No more babysitting the baby slayers."

Buffy laughed into the phone as if it was the funniest thing she'd ever heard. Faith raised an eyebrow as she cleared her throat. There wasn't anything off or different about the way the phone call was going. It always went this way, sometimes turning around into a short round of phone sex and other times they would just talk about their plans once Faith no longer was needed at Giles'.

"B, love to stay and chat, but I need to shower before the girls break down the door. The hungry and horny thing definitely didn't get passed on to them."

"Must be an original thing," Buffy chuckled. "You'll call me after?"

"I'll call you tomorrow. Exhausted here."

"Right. Tomorrow then."

"Love you."

"I love you too, Faith."

She smiled a little as she ended the call before Buffy could say another word. No matter how many times she'd said the words, it always felt new and different to feel them curl across her tongue and to hear herself say those words. She meant them each and every time she said them. It warmed her heart in places she'd never felt before whenever she heard Buffy say it too.

After having a hot, quick shower, Faith went into the guest room and locked the door. She kept the lights off and didn't bother getting dressed as she climbed into the small bed and lay on top of the covers. The night was warm and still young and she was hungry. There wasn't anything she could do about the hungry part. Giles had put her on a strict feeding schedule and it wouldn't be until the morning that she'd be able to satisfy the pains the shot throughout her entire body.

She sat up on the bed and quickly grabbed her robe as Giles knocked softly on the door. She knew it was Giles since he was the only one who ever knocked. She turned on the bedside lamp and walked over to the door and opened it, sighing loudly as Giles stood there with one of the girls cowering behind him.

"What's going on?"

Giles shook his head as he stepped away and the girl, who Faith was almost sure her name was Amber, stepped forward. Faith leaned against the door frame, her eyes on the girl as she waited for her to speak.

"Well, what is it?"

"I uh...I..."

"Oh for heaven's sake," Giles muttered. "Andrea is going to bunk with you tonight. It seems her and the others aren't getting along. It'll just be for tonight until I can get the attic sorted and cleaned out."

"Fine," Faith sighed out as she stepped aside for Andrea to walk in. "You know you don't have to be so shy around me. We've been around each other for three months. I'm practically an acquaintance of yours now."

"Uh..."

"You shy or something?" Faith asked as she closed the door behind her. "Nervous? Afraid?"

"Uh..."

"Want to hear something funny? All this time I thought your name was Amber," Faith laughed, trying to ease the girl's shyness. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"Dunno," she shrugged. "I never say much at all."

"Why is that?"

She shrugged as she took a look around the room. "Where am I gonna sleep?"

"You can take the bed," Faith said as she grabbed her pillow. "I don't mind crashing on the floor. Slept in much worse places before."

Andrea only nodded and smiled slightly as she tossed her pillow onto the bed and laid down. Faith sighed softly as she picked up some of her clothes and quickly changed. She walked over to the window and opened it wide, ignoring Andrea's questions of where she was going as she climbed out.

She didn't go far, just outside the window and sat on the roof. Andrea came out a few minutes later and sat down next to her, staring up at the sky as the clouds parted enough for the stars to shine down faintly over the glow of the city lights. Faith offered her a cigarette and she took one. Faith lit her own then offered the lighter to her and she stared up at the sky and she pushed out her thoughts and the feelings she felt coming from Andrea. It was hard, as it always was, to block everything out completely.

"You hate it here, don't you?" Faith asked as she took her lighter back. "You miss your family back home, your friends, and your normal life?"

"It's not so bad."

"Go on, ask me."

"Ask you what?"

"What it's like."

"Oh," Andrea laughed as she ran her hands through her light brown hair and stared at Faith. "What's it like being a vampire? Is it different than being a human and a slayer?"

"I'm still human and I'm still a slayer, just add an unstable, blood-sucking fiend to that and yeah," Faith laughed. "It's not horrible. It's not great either."

"Have you ever killed anyone?"

Faith's eyes went wide as she heard the multiple layers of her question. "Yeah, couple people. Shouldn't have though. The guilt gets to me nearly every day and I keep thinking their ghosts are gonna pop out and scare the shit out of me one day."

"Exacting their revenge from beyond the grave," Andrea chuckled. "Interesting."

"Thought so myself, but it hasn't happened and I don't think it will. Anything is possible, you know? Especially on a hellmouth. Always expect the unexpected."

"I know. You and Giles told us that when we first got here."

"See, you do talk, just not to everyone," Faith smirked as she turned to look at her. "What makes me so special?"

"You seem easy to talk to," Andrea shrugged. "Besides, Giles told me before that the two of us are more alike than we know. Don't know what he means by that."

"Just his way of saying we're trouble," Faith laughed, ignoring her feelings that Andrea was lying to her about something.

"When is Buffy coming here?"

"This weekend."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah," Faith nodded. "That means while I'm gone someone is gonna need to be in charge of leading the others on patrol. Think you could be up for it?"

"No, not me. The others won't listen to me."

"That's too bad. I thought you'd make a good group leader."

Faith leaned back against the wall next to the window and closed her eyes. She had been trying so hard to ignore the hunger, the thirst and with Andrea sitting so close to her, it became next to impossible. She flinched a little when she felt Andrea take her hand and she took a deep breath as she opened her eyes slowly and looked at her.

"I know Giles has you on a schedule and I was thinking..."Andrea's voice trailed off as she took one last drag of her cigarette and tossed it over the edge of the roof. "If you take a little, it wouldn't hurt, right?"

"Are you out of your mind?"

"No, just curious and offering you a little bit to hold you over until the morning."

"Why are you doing this?" Faith asked, horrified as she jerked her hand away. "This is torture."

"No," Andrea said softly as she shook her head and rolled up the sleeve of her shirt and held out her arm. "This is just me offering you a little bit of the only thing I can offer you."

Faith groaned as her fangs involuntarily slid out. She could almost taste it as she watched her pulse course through the shallow veins on her arm. It'd been so long since she'd had a human and she didn't want to get into those habits again. But the hunger, the thirst, was becoming unbearable. Without questioning Andrea further, she grabbed onto her arm and bit down gently. The blood flowed slowly and Faith only took enough to curb her appetite and she pulled away forcefully, gasping as she felt the power surge through her body like a bolt of lightning.

"Fuck, this is wrong," Faith whispered under her breath as she licked her lips slowly and felt the fire burning throughout her. "So fucking wrong."

"What is?"

"This," Faith said angrily as she grabbed onto Andrea's arm and jabbed the bite mark with her finger. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I just thought...I..."

"Don't. Don't waste a fucking breath on explaining to me why. I can feel why. What I don't understand is why you'd want it!"

"Faith, would you calm down? I know we don't know each other, but it is plain as day that you needed it. I felt something from you too. The whole thing about me fighting with the other girls? Kind of a tiny little lie," Andrea sighed. "I don't expect you to understand it. I know you are with Buffy now and everything, but..."

"Wait a minute. Back up here. What the fuck are you trying to tell me? You have the hots for me?"

Andrea shook her head no. "It's not like that."

"Then what is it like exactly?"

"It's complicated. Giles didn't want me to say anything."

"What?"

"I think...no, I'm pretty sure you're my sister."

"Sister?" Faith raised her eyebrows and laughed. "You are fucking kidding me. I'm an only child."

"Half sister. We have the same father, or had I should say."

Faith shook her head, unable to take the information in and process it rationally. She couldn't even look at Andrea and instead, she stood up and jumped off the roof, running as fast as she could the second her feet hit the ground. She ran until it hurt to keep on running and she stopped and took a look at her surroundings. She was in the bad part of town and across the street from a fairly unknown demon bar.

She'd been there before a couple of times and only once had she been there just to drink and unwind. The patrons, at least the regulars, all looked at her when she walked in and took a seat at the far end of the bar. She motioned to the bartender, a human named Eric, to bring her a beer. Her slayer senses were going crazy as she sat there surrounded by different types of demons and a good two dozen vampires. She could feel the fear and the hatred coming from each and every one of them, all but Eric, who put the bottle of beer in front of her and smiled warmly as he took her money.

"Long night?"

"Long life," Faith sighed as she drank half the room temperature beer in one gulp. "Don't you have a fucking fridge, Eric? Warm beer tastes like shit."

"Nobody ever complained before, then again, most of my customers aren't alive and don't care if the beer is cold or not."

"Touché."

"Something bothering you tonight?"

"Yeah and to be honest, I don't want to talk. I just want to sit here and drink until you gotta call a cab to take me home later," Faith replied with a sadistic smirk and motioned for him to pass her the bottle of Jack Daniels. "Start me a tab."

"Send the bill to Mr. Giles?"

"Yeah, you do that."

With every drink she had, the words 'half sister' became louder instead of fading away with the rest of her thoughts. Like with almost all the other slayers, there was a slight buzz of connection, nothing like what she felt with Buffy and what she'd felt with Andrea was entirely different. She felt comfortable around the girl, saw a lot of herself in her and she had to laugh now at the reasons why. Of course she saw a lot of herself in the girl; half her genes were the same as hers even though neither of them even looked related.

A group of vampires approached her and she spun around on the barstool, laughing at the slight feeling of déjà vu she had as she stared them down. None of them spoke; none of them even felt anything as they surrounded her.

"What the fuck you want?"

"Are you here for us, Slayer?"

"No," she said as she held up the nearly empty bottle of Jacks. "Here to get fucking drunk if you don't mind."

"In that case," the only one that spoke laughed as he sat down on the stool next to her. "Care for some company, Slayer?"

"No, I don't care for your company."

"Come on," he laughed as he motioned for the rest to leave them alone. "I know what you are, Slayer. You are one of us."

"I'm not."

"You are just as dead as we are."

"I may be dead, but I have a soul and a fucking conscience that eats me alive," she scoffed as she took a swig from the bottle and placed it down hard in front of her. "Why the fuck am I even talking to you? Leave me alone."

"You are talking to me because you are lonely," he said softly under the heavy chatter that filled the atmosphere. "Am I right or am I wrong?"

Faith shrugged as she felt the tears sting her eyes and quickly covered it up by chugging what was left in the bottle. It was becoming harder for her to close herself off like she used to be able to. Harder to keep her walls up, harder to stay away from the ones she knew she had no right to be hanging around. The feeling of being pulled in three different directions, if not more, became stronger as the whiskey really began to hit her hard.

The vampire who had decided to invade her personal space got up and left her alone when she hadn't said a word nor even passed a single glance at him. Faith motioned to the bartender to bring her another bottle and she got up and walked out of the bar and out to the nearly empty street.

"I have a sister, a half sister. What the fuck is gonna end up happening next? Am I gonna find out my mother is still alive, that she's fucking sober now?" Faith muttered to herself as she walked down to the end of the dead end street and sat on the concrete barrier.

"Faith?" Giles said quietly as he walked up to her. "Where have you been? Everyone has been looking for you for hours."

Faith held up the bottle and smirked as she unscrewed the cap and took a sip. "Been out drinking."

"Am I going to be getting a bill from a certain bartender named Eric?" Giles asked, his voice light yet angry.

"Possibly. Don't worry about it, I'll pay it."

"What on earth made you react this way?"

"What way?"

"Getting completely bombed and wandering the streets on your own?" Giles sighed as he sat down next to her. "I know you are capable of taking care of yourself and that doesn't mean I cannot spend hours worrying about you. Andrea told me what you two talked about."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wasn't sure how you'd react."

"How long have you known?"

"Since before you came here months ago. A couple of years in fact."

Faith rolled her eyes as she took another sip. Giles took the bottle from her as soon as she pulled it away from her lips and with a heavy sigh he took a few sips and handed it back to her.

"I know I should have mentioned it to you before you found out the way you had. It was irresponsible of me to think you wouldn't find out."

"What were you trying to protect me from anyway, Giles? So I have a half sister, it's not the end of the fucking world."

"I know. I should have told you."

"Probably not the best time to bring it up, but...am I almost done here?"

Giles looked over at her and nodded his head. "A couple more weeks, Faith. That's all I'm asking for from you. You've done so much with the girls and they are ready for anything now. You should really think about sticking with the training. Maybe Buffy could offer you something over in Scotland?"

"Giles? What if I don't want to do this anymore?"

"Do what? Train?"

"Everything. I don't wanna do this anymore. I don't wanna be a slayer, I don't wanna train...can't I like retire or something?" Faith asked as she stared down at the bottle in her hands. "You know why I took off before, didn't call you or anyone else for four years? Thought if I stayed away I could do what I wanted, how I wanted to. No matter where I went, I ran into vampires and demons and did what I had to do to survive, not what my calling is supposed to be."

"I know what happened in those four years, Faith."

"Angel told you?"

Giles nodded and watched her as she took out her pack of cigarettes and with shaky hands she managed to get one lit. "He did, but only because I had asked him. You know how I feel about you and the others. You are family to me and I..."

"Don't say it, Giles. Please. I know how you feel and I don't wanna hear it. Not now. Not ever."

"Let's go back to the house and talk there. I don't feel comfortable sitting out here like ducks."

"You can go. I'm staying. Gotta think some more."

"Couldn't you do that at the house?" Giles asked as he stood in front of her. "Come on."

"Giles..."

"You are completely wasted," he said as he grabbed onto her arm and pulled her to her feet. "Do not argue with me. Just come home."

Faith was too drunk to argue any further. She followed him to where he'd parked his car half a block away. She climbed into the backseat and curled up, clutching onto the bottle as she fought to stay awake. Giles woke her when they got back to the house and she grumbled, not remembering at what point she'd passed out. The alcohol was dragging her down and she cursed under her breath as she tried to walk up to the front door without falling face first. A couple of times she heard Giles laugh and when she'd turned to look at him, he wasn't even smiling.

"Are you laughing at me in your head, Giles?"

"Maybe," he said with a half smile. "It is quite a sight to see. I think you should stay downstairs on the couch tonight. Andrea is sleeping in your room."

"On my bed, right?"

"Yes," Giles nodded as he unlocked the door and Faith fell inside, still clutching onto the bottle in her hands. "I don't think you should drink anymore tonight."

"Don't," Faith said as Giles tried to take the bottle from her. "I need it."

"Why?"

"I don't wanna feel anything anymore."

Giles shook his head as he let go of the bottle and locked the front door. Faith couldn't even pick herself up from the floor and he brought over a blanket from the living room and placed it on the floor next to her. Faith barely saw Giles as he flipped off all the lights but the kitchen light and made his way upstairs. Groaning and feeling a little sick, Faith clutched the blanket close to her and closed her eyes, seemingly not caring she was lying on the floor in the middle of the hallway and tried to fall asleep.

The first rays of sunlight woke her from her deep slumber not long after she'd blacked out. Being a slayer and a vampire made her body react to everything in different ways and one of those ways was no matter how much alcohol she could drink, it was out of her system after just a couple of hours. But, the human side of her still could feel remnants of a would-be hangover. It made her head spin, her stomach churn and it made her feel weak.

Picking herself up from the floor and groaning as her muscles ached with every slight movement. She made her way to the kitchen and found one packet of blood in the meat drawer. She poured it into her mug and zapped it in the microwave for a couple of minutes. It was a beautiful morning, not a cloud in the sky and the birds sung their morning songs. It was the simplest little things like that she looked forward to every day. Never before had she cared nor had she ever noticed them.

"Morning," Andrea said softly as she stepped out the back door and sat down on the steps next to Faith. "Sorry I freaked you out last night. I shouldn't have told you like that."

"Whatever."

"Are you okay?"

"Will be if you don't ask me that again," Faith replied coldly as she raised her mug to her lips and took a sip. "You didn't mention what happened last night to Giles did you?"

"Nope and I won't. Look," Andrea said as she rolled up her sleeve, the bite marks just two faint little scars. "It's healed. Nobody will be none the wiser and nobody needs to know."

"Good. It won't happen again either."

"Okay," Andrea smiled. "Look, I don't expect us to act like sisters all of a sudden, but I don't want to not be your friend."

"I can't be your friend and I can't be your sister either. It'll be better that way in the end," Faith said as she stared at her.

"Do you always push everyone away like this?"

"Yeah."

"Me too," Andrea laughed faintly. "We're a lot alike, don't you think?"

"We are nothing alike, Andrea. We might share some of the same genes, but that's it. As far as I am concerned I do not have a sister nor do I even want one."

Faith stood up and walked to the back of the yard and leaned against the fence under one of the trees. She kept her eyes on Andrea, trying to shake the bitterness from her. She knew she shouldn't have reacted that way. Despite how she felt, Andrea was her half sister and nothing would change that. She laughed a little to herself as she wondered how Buffy would react when she told her about Andrea, that is if Buffy didn't already know.

The bitter taste in her mouth made her have a feeling everyone else had known about Andrea. She lowered her eyes to her mug, sighing as she stared at the crimson liquid inside. It was easier to think of it as anything else other than blood. It was her life source now and no matter how many times she'd drank from the mug, or a human like she had in the beginning, she'd never gotten used to the feeling that came over her each and every time.

It was like sex, only better. She knew why Buffy had been so hooked on draining innocent and not so innocent humans and why she'd allowed Nadine to control her and basically take her under her wing. It was oh so tempting and even though Faith had got quite well at controlling the temptation, she knew she could only be so strong and hold back for so long. The edge to her own self-destruction would always be there, calling and begging for her to step over and plunge into the darkness.

Her thoughts were swimming and she couldn't push any of them out. If she wasn't careful she knew she'd drive herself insane before she stepped over the edge and she knew she wouldn't go at it alone. She'd take everyone around her with her, holding on tight just so she wouldn't have to do it alone.

She needed to hear Buffy's voice. She needed to feel her, to kiss her, to hold her. This was going to be a long couple of days before Buffy came to see her on the weekend. She could only hope she'd be able to hold herself together until then. It was going to be hard though. What happened between her and Andrea was only the tip of the iceberg. Her blood was addictive although it wasn't near as addictive as Buffy's had been. She felt like a junkie, trying so hard not to think of her drug of choice when it was right there in front of her face.


	17. Chapter 17

Faith sat across from Andrea at the small kitchen table. They hadn't said a word in the hour they'd been sitting there, they only just stared at one another. Giles had been the one that suggested they sit down and talk, get to know one another on a whole different level. Faith didn't want to, but she felt like she should at least give the girl a chance. Being around family had already made her feel inadequate, like a loser, a failure, but with Andrea it was different. There was a slight feeling of understanding and acceptance underneath the uncertainty.

"Where'd you grow up?" Giles asked as he placed his cup of tea on the table and took a seat next to Faith.

"Just outside of Boston."

"And your father?"

"Haven't seen him since I was about five years old," Andrea replied as she stared at Faith. "How long has it been since you've seen him?"

Faith shrugged. "Guess I was about twelve or thirteen. Hard to remember when exactly, but I do know it was shortly before I got called."

"So, it looks like he disappeared out of both our lives around the same time," Andrea mused. "Do you think he's dead?"

"Probably or he's off somewhere fucking some stupid whore and has a few other kids with her. I don't fucking care about my father...our father...whatever. Do we have to talk about that deadbeat asshole?"

"It is a part of the getting to know each other process," Giles said softly. "You two need to get these things out, talk about them."

"Fuck, G. I just find out last night I got a half sister and now you are pushing me to get to know her. Did it ever fucking cross your mind that I don't want to get to know her? That I don't even fucking care if we're related or not?"

"I can see very clearly through this façade of yours, Faith. You do care."

"Fine, I care," Faith sighed out loudly. "It's just a complete mind fuck. The sister thing, totally came outta left field or whatever the fuck."

"I should have mentioned it to you before," Giles said apologetically as he took a sip of his tea. "Nobody was sure how you'd react and we all decided it'd be best not to tell you right away."

"Does Buffy know about this?"

"She does," Giles replied. "In fact it was her that made the initial decision not to tell you."

"Why would you all keep something like this from me? Were you afraid I'd jump onto the crazy train and turn evil again?" Faith asked and the two just sat there in silence. "Figured as much."

Faith got up and stormed out the back door, slamming is hard enough to split the wooden frame. Unlike most days when she was able to control her emotions, her anger was fast becoming the one emotion she had no desire to curb. She paced the back yard, trying to keep herself from running and slammed a fist into the shed door, breaking the worn wood. Groaning as she pulled her hand free, she yanked open the door and her eyes opened wide in shock at what she saw inside.

A motorcycle, a Harley, sat parked in the middle of the shed, piles of boxes surrounding it. With a wry chuckle she stepped inside and ran her fingers over the handlebars then over the seat, wondering how it'd feel to have all that power between her legs and nothing but her and the road with the wind whipping through her hair, easing away her worries, her thoughts, as the miles stretched far and between.

"So, you've found it," Giles chuckled as he stood outside and peered in. "The big secret is out. Was sort of an impulse buy when I first moved here. Rode it once, wiped out and haven't been on it since."

"You're crazy, Giles. If I had a bike like that I'd never walk anywhere, not even in the middle of the winter."

"Would you like to take it for a ride?"

"What kind of question is that? Of course I fucking would!" Faith said excitedly, suddenly forgetting how angry she'd been just minutes before. "Fork over the keys, Giles. Don't keep me waiting. I'm not a very patient woman, you know."

"You don't even have a license," he said calmly. "But, as soon as you get one, I'll be more than happy to 'fork' over the keys to you."

"Never stopped me before," Faith muttered under her breath. "Whatever, G. I'll go get the god damn license and as soon as I pass whatever stupid fucking test I have to take I fully expect you to let me take this baby on a nice long ride."

"I'll take you tomorrow. It's quite late and the lines are usually long and torturous."

"Great," Faith sighed as she shoved a few boxes out of the way and sat on the Harley. "Can't believe you rode this only once. You're crazy, man. One little wipe out shouldn't have stopped you."

"I'm not as young as I once was, unfortunately. Come on, let's go back inside. I want you and Andrea to talk a little more. She's very curious to get to know you and I know you feel the same way. Whatever it is that is making you push her away, ignore it. She is your sister..."

"Half sister."

"Half sister," Giles chuckled. "Half or not, she's still your sister. Neither of you have any close family in your lives and I thought it would be a good thing for you two to make a point in at least trying."

"Seriously, Giles. I can't comprehend this whole thing rationally right now. Just thinking about it makes me so angry and so confused inside. I want to know why I went all this time without knowing and when I start thinking about my deadbeat, asshole father and how he was with her mother and acted like a father to her, more so than he ever did with me, I just wanna find him and kill the stupid fucker."

"Faith..."

"I don't want to talk about this, I don't want to get to know Andrea and fuck, Giles...I just can't..."

"Can't what?"

"I can't let her in. I don't want to."

"I understand. I thought it wouldn't hurt for you two to try and talk things out, get to know each other. Everyone needs family in their life, Faith. I know you have myself, Buffy and the others now, but I feel like you need blood-related family in your life."

"Whatever," Faith shrugged as she climbed off the bike. "If I give Andrea a chance, you gonna let me take this baby for a ride any time I want to?"

"Yes," Giles nodded. "I suppose I could do that."

Faith smirked as she walked out of the shed, the smirk quickly fading when Giles inspected the hole she'd punched through it. "Sorry about that. Anger got to the best of me for a second there."

"Right ah...I guess it is understandable. Better a poor defenceless wooden door than say someone's face," he chuckled as they headed back up to the house. "Just listen to what Andrea has to say, okay?"

"I'll try."

****

The castle was quiet when Buffy had come back from her nightly patrol. The castle had been too quiet for the last couple of days. News of what was happening with her and Nadine had travelled fast and nobody could quite look her in the eye whenever she passed them. Xander distanced himself from her, Willow barely said two words to her and Dawn had taken off for England with no word on when she'd come back.

She was beginning to hate being there, hate being around the people she thought she loved and were her family. The younger slayers and them avoiding her didn't bother her. She could care less how they felt about her half the time. It hurt more than she ever thought it would to know how Willow and Xander and especially how Dawn now felt about her. Those were three people that mattered the most to her and to feel like she was losing them made her feel as dead inside as she knew she was.

Still, she wasn't so sure where Faith fit in with it all. She knew she loved Faith, felt the connection between them even stronger than ever before and she knew she wanted to be with her for as long as Faith would have her. Being apart from her the way they had been had sent her to a place she'd never been before, a place where darkness surrounded her soul and nearly consumed what was left of her sanity.

Without thinking about it anymore, she began to pack what she could into one large suitcase. She was going to see Faith. She was going to be with her no matter who tried to keep them apart this time. Three months apart was too much and after seeing her just for one day, what they had shared together, she couldn't wait not even another day to be with her.

Love and the obsession she had with Faith was driving her, controlling her. Nadine had pushed her buttons, got her thinking in ways she never had before. It wasn't all bad when it came to Nadine. She knew that, at least she hoped she did. The things she'd done with Nadine had revealed the true side of what she now was. Nothing more than a vampire still trapped as a human and a slayer.

"What are you doing?" Willow asked as she walked into the bedroom. "Buffy?"

"I'm leaving."

"Why?"

"I think you know why," she said tonelessly as she threw the last of the clothes she could fit in the suitcase and zipped it shut. "I can't stay here, Will. I need to be with her."

"With Faith?"

"Who else?"

"Thought maybe you were talking about Nadine..." Willow's voice trailed off as she stared at Buffy. "I mean we don't know what you were doing with her exactly, but..."

"We weren't fucking, if that's what you want to know."

"Oh. Well, good to know," Willow laughed slightly as she crossed her arms over her chest. "That's kind of why everyone has been...uh...weird around you lately."

"Here I was thinking it was because of something else," Buffy replied with a roll of her eyes. "I'm leaving, Will. Nobody is going to stop me. Anyone does and I'll..."

"You'll what? Kill them?"

"No. Hurt them until they get out of my way and let me live my life the way I want to!"

"But what about your responsibilities here, Buffy?"

"What about them? You all seem to have everything under control here whether I'm around or not. You don't need me here anymore, Will. Just admit it."

"We do need you, Buffy."

"For what?"

"For everything. You are still the best slayer we have here, the strongest and even more so now. You and Faith...I don't think anything out there is stronger than the two of you. Stay and when she's done at Giles' she'll come here and work with us."

"No."

"No?"

"I'm done, Will. Everything has changed. I have changed. I need to get out of here."

"But Buffy..."

Buffy shook her head as she walked past her, ignoring her as she headed down the stairs. Just as she was about to reach the main door she felt herself being blown back by an unseen force. She turned to find Willow standing there behind her.

"What the hell, Will?"

"I'm not letting you leave like this."

"Do you want me to hurt you?"

"I don't believe you can hurt me, Buffy. You see, when it comes down to it, I am just slightly more powerful than you realize. If anything can stop your kind it's someone like me."

Buffy scoffed as she reached for the handle and found she couldn't open the door. "Will, why won't you just let me go?"

"I already told you. You aren't leaving, Buffy. We need you here and seeing Faith can wait," Willow said firmly as she stood her ground and stared hard at Buffy. "Besides, right now I believe Faith is going through something she needs to deal with on her own without you there to interfere with her feelings."

"What is she going through?"

"Found out about Andrea yesterday."

"Oh," Buffy sighed. "Let me guess, she probably knows by now that we've all known and didn't tell her, right?"

Willow nodded as she motioned for Buffy to step away from the door. "Come on, Buff. Don't leave. We'll sort things out here, get it all running back to normal in no time. Hey, maybe even Dawnie will forgive you and come back?"

"Doubt it."

Willow shrugged as she reached out for the suitcase and gently pried it from Buffy's hand. "Try to be a little more positive here, Buffy. I know you don't think things are going to get any better, but I can promise you they will. After what has been happening you know you have to give everyone some time to really adjust to what...no, who you are now."

"How much time am I expected to give everyone? I've been like this for what, a little over three months now, Will."

"I know. Just give it a little longer and I don't think that's the only reason why everything has kind of gotten weird around here."

"Has to do with me and Faith too, doesn't it?"

"Maybe."

"Either it is, or it isn't, Will."

"Well, I don't have a problem with you and Faith getting wriggly and being all moon eyed and in love with each other, but the others...I mean you know how everyone acted when you and Satsu were together."

Buffy tensed as she jerked the suitcase from Willow's hands and shook her head. "I told you I do not want to talk about her ever again."

"I'm sorry, Buffy. I wasn't thinking. It kind of just slipped."

"Will, whatever you have holding me back, take it down. I'm leaving."

"Buffy..."

"I'll come back. I just can't wait until the weekend to see her, Will. Every minute I spend apart from her slowly makes me feel like I'm losing her, drifting apart from her. I need to be with her and after she's done helping Giles I do not ever want to spend this much time apart from her."

"Do you want me to teleport you there?"

"No," Buffy shook her head. "I'm going to take a plane. It'll give me some time to sort through the thoughts that are currently overloading my brain."

Willow chuckled and nodded and with a wave of her hand the invisible barrier keeping Buffy from leaving lifted and the front door slowly opened. "You sure you want to take a plane? What if you end up sitting behind another annoying kid for eleven hours again?"

"Nothing I can't handle," Buffy said with a smile before she walked out the door. "I'll see you next week, Will. Call me if Dawn does come back, okay?"

"Are you sure you don't want me to just teleport you right to Giles' place? It would only take a couple of seconds compared to half a day."

"I'm sure," Buffy laughed as she reached out and pulled Willow in for a tight hug. "I can't expect you to work your mojo and teleport me wherever the hell I want, when I want to."

"You are still having a hard time accepting the fact that I'm always willing to do anything and everything for you, aren't you?"

"Little bit, yeah."

"Even after all these years? Even after everything we've gone through together?" Willow asked sceptically as she held onto Buffy's shoulders. "You sure nothing messed with your memories in there, Buff?"

"I'm sure," she sighed as she shrugged Willow's hands off of her. "If you really want to just flick your fingers, do your magic thing, teleport me to Cleveland, but not right to Giles' place. I need to go somewhere first."

"Why? Where else would you need to go?"

"Uh," Buffy coughed as she tried to hide the slight blush that crept over her cheeks. "Well, I wanted to surprise Faith. We haven't even had our first date. We talked about it before Edward's family captured her and then with everything that happened afterwards, we never really got around to it."

"What do you have in mind?"

"I really don't know," Buffy laughed a little as Willow followed her outside. "It's not like I can take her out for dinner at a nice restaurant or anything."

"Can I suggest something?"

"Sure."

"Why don't you take some of the slayer blood we have stocked in the medic ward and take Faith out for a nice midnight picnic somewhere?"

"On a hellmouth? How is that romantic when we'll have vamps or demons coming after us?"

"Take her out of town somewhere," Willow shrugged. "It could be romantic you know, having a nice little picnic under the stars in a field or on a beach somewhere. Sure would beat staying in a hotel room the whole time you are there."

"Well, that was part of the plan you know."

Willow blushed and she shook her head. Buffy laughed as she pulled her in for a tight hug. "Easy, slayer. I'm still getting used to the fact you two are together and all loved up and getting wriggly with each other. Then there is the fact that you are, you know...a vampire now too."

"I'm still Buffy."

"I know you are."

"I'm just a little fangy now," Buffy laughed as she tried to ease the slight tension that had begun to build up between the two old friends. "Actually, you know what? I don't feel like the same old Buffy. Something has changed and I don't mean the obvious changes."

"What do you mean?"

"When things were going on with Nadine and me, I don't know what happened, but I was losing myself. I didn't even care, Will. That feeling, I loved it. I never felt so free from who I really am."

"You mean as the slayer? The chosen one?"

Buffy nodded her head slowly. "Part of the reason why I kept going back to Nadine was because she showed me that there were sides of myself just waiting to come out and play. It's disturbing really, but I keep asking myself that if I didn't like what was going on, would I have really kept going back?"

"I don't..."

"Nadine isn't as evil as you all are making her out to be, Will. She freed something inside of me..."

"Yeah, the vampire inside of you."

"Will..."

"What? No good has come from whatever the hell you and Nadine were doing."

"I know that now, Will."

"So," Willow sighed as she stared at Buffy. "How are we going to destroy her?"

"How did this go from talking about me and Faith to Nadine and destroying her?"

"Can't avoid the topic forever, Buff."

"I know."

They both stood there, quiet for a few long moments before Willow motioned for her to stay right where she was and disappeared inside. Buffy turned and looked up at the sky, watching the stars twinkle a silent sombre tune. Willow came out a few minutes later with a small duffle bag in her hand. She passed it to Buffy without saying a word and stepped back. Buffy only smiled at her as she clutched onto the bag and her suitcase and closed her eyes as Willow raised her hand slowly. She opened her eyes just briefly to see Willow smirking and then she found herself swirling in the darkness for only a couple short seconds.

The smells, the sounds and the sights told her she was in Cleveland, just a few blocks from Giles'. It was still light out and she panicked for a moment as she looked around to make sure nobody had seen her pop out from nowhere. There was nobody to be seen nor heard and with a sigh of relief she began to walk in the opposite direction of Giles' house. She had a few ideas of what she wanted to do and with a sly smile, she headed for the closest hotel, ignoring the fact that she could feel Faith rather close by with every step she took.

****

Faith wandered down the streets with Andrea following close behind her. It had been Giles' not so 'bright' idea they run down to the store to pick up a few things together. They were supposed to be bonding yet Faith had barely said two words to her since they left the house.

"Faith?"

"What?"

"We forgot the milk," Andrea sighed as she stared into the bags Faith had made her carry. "Giles isn't going to be happy we forgot the milk. That was on the top of the list!"

"So? Go back and get it."

"You spent the last of the money he gave us on smokes."

"Your point?" Faith asked and on cue, she took out her fresh pack, opened it and lit one. She smirked as Andrea rolled her eyes and they continued walking down the street.

"Are you even going to offer me one?"

"No."

Andrea muttered under her breath as she stopped and put the bags on the ground. "Why are you being like this? I thought we were going to talk, get to know each other?"

"You do that."

"Faith?"

"What?" Faith snapped as she stopped and turned to face her. "Why the hell are you so determined? Haven't you figured out by now I don't want to get to know you? I don't fucking care if we are related or not."

Faith continued walking, leaving a hurt Andrea behind. She did care though, more than she rather would willingly admit. It was still too much for her to wrap her head around and every time she thought about it, about her father and the rest of her family, she felt sick. She picked up her pace as she rounded the corner and she stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Buffy walking across the street. Blinking several times and calming her racing heart down enough to feel her, she smiled as their eyes met.

Buffy dropped her bags as Faith strutted across the road and picked her up in a tight embrace. She didn't say a word and she could only stare down at Buffy's intense green eyes that suddenly washed over with dark lust.

"I couldn't stay away from you any longer," Buffy whispered as Faith flicked her cigarette to the ground and held her closer. "I was going to surprise you."

"You did fucking surprise me, B. I didn't expect to see you till the weekend."

"I'm not going back without you."

"Wouldn't let you leave without me, B."

Buffy laughed as she pulled her in for a deep, passionate kiss. It was tender yet forceful as Faith backed her up to the nearest tree on someone's front laugh and pressed her body hard into Buffy's, not caring it was still light out and that they were out in the open for all to see. Faith savoured every bit of the kiss, drawing it out even when Buffy subtly began to push her away. With a groan, Faith bit Buffy's lower lip gently and pulled back from the kiss. Their hearts beat in time as they just stared at each other. Buffy's lips curled into a sweet smile as she ran her fingers through Faith's hair and pulled her back in for another kiss. The moment passed as soon as Faith heard Andrea clear her throat as she walked up to the two of them.

"Do you mind?" Faith snapped as she turned her head to look at her. "Go back to the house."

"And what am I supposed to tell Giles when you don't come back with me?"

"Faith," Buffy whispered as she pushed her away gently. "You should get back. I'm going to go get a hotel room. I'll come by later. I have something planned for the two of us tonight."

"Yeah?" Faith smiled as she leaned in to kiss her and was stopped before her lips could come within an inch of Buffy's. "What gives, B?"

"Save it for later, baby."

"Don't wanna."

"Don't be such a baby," Buffy laughed. "It's not attractive on you."

Andrea laughed as she walked away from the two of them. With a low growl Faith punched the tree trunk as Buffy slipped out of her grasp. Buffy picked up her bags and raised an eyebrow at Faith as she started to walk backwards.

"Buffy..."

"I'll come to the house in two hours, okay? I need to rent a car as well unless you think Giles would let me borrow his?"

"What do you need a car for if we're going back to the hotel anyway?"

"Not tonight," Buffy said with a smirk. "It's a surprise, okay? Kind of a surprise and our first date all mixed into one."

Faith laughed as she watched Buffy walk away for a few moments before she turned and jogged down the street to catch up with Andrea. With a sly smile, Andrea handed Faith half the bags she was carrying and they walked up to the front door without saying a word. Faith's entire body was buzzing from the sudden unexpected encounter with Buffy.

"How the hell does she do that to me?" Faith muttered under her breath as she and Andrea walked into the kitchen.

"Do what?"

"Make me a pile of mush with just a look."

Andrea laughed as she shrugged her shoulders. "Love is an interesting and confusing thing. I wouldn't know personally, but that's what I hear."

Faith sighed as she helped her put away the things they'd bought and stepped out the back door as Giles walked into the kitchen. With a faint smile, she listened to him and Andrea bicker over how they'd forgotten to buy the milk. But her mind wasn't on what was happening around her, it was on Buffy. Solely on Buffy. She walked back to her favourite spot; the shadiest part of the backyard even though the sun was low enough it didn't bother her as much. She sat on the grass with her back to the fence and closed her eyes.

She wasn't sure how much time had passed and she didn't move even after the sun had set. All she did was concentrate on her shallow breaths and tried to tune everything else out around her. It was becoming easier, but she could still faintly pick up thoughts and emotions. It was becoming excruciating trying to remember what the silence had felt like. The only time she felt at peace was when she was near Buffy. It was one of those things she couldn't explain, couldn't find the answers to even though they were right there, plain as day.

Faith didn't move when she felt Buffy come to the house. She listened as she and Giles talked quietly in the kitchen, only picking up parts of their conversation. Buffy was trying to convince Giles to let Faith leave with her on Monday, or even sooner than that if it was possible.

As much as Faith wanted to leave she knew her job there was far from done. The girls, especially Andrea, weren't fully prepared and not being at full slayer strength left them rather vulnerable. If anything had happened to any of the girls, she wouldn't be able to live with the guilt. She already had enough guilt to learn to deal with and live with as it was. She was lost in her own thoughts that the rest of the world had faded away enough that she hadn't seen nor heard Andrea come outside and sit down on the grass next to her.

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"Buffy is here."

"I know."

"You know she wants you to leave soon, don't you?"

Faith nodded and took in a deep breath. "I know. I don't think I should right now. You guys need me here."

"We're learning and we're getting better. I'm sure we could handle ourselves," Andrea said with a positive smile. "You've taught us things we couldn't learn in Scotland and shown us things nobody else but you could have."

"Right."

"You have, Faith. I know the girls and I will forever be grateful for the things you've done for us, taught us. You've saved our sorry asses too many times to count, not because you had to, but because you wanted to."

With a nod, Faith turned to look at her, emotionless as she stared at the girl who was too much like herself and yet was her own person at the same time. Even though she didn't want to have any family in her life, she knew it'd be good, healthy even, for her to learn to accept it and let Andrea in. From their small talk earlier, enforced by Giles of course, she'd learned that Andrea's mother had abandoned her shortly after she became a slayer. She was as alone in the world as Faith was and they needed to be there for each other, even if it was just in the tiniest of ways.

"You sure think a lot, don't you?" Andrea laughed as she nudged Faith in the shoulder. "It's okay. I do it too much for my own good. My mother used to say I spent too much time in my own little world and..."

"You also talk too much," Faith smirked as she relaxed a little. "Andy, I need time to get used to this whole deal. You know that. Family has been a touchy subject for me my whole life."

"I know. It is for me too."

"But I do know one thing. We all need real family in our lives even if we have others we consider to be family to us. Just give me time and we'll be friends."

"Friends? Actual friends? Aren't sisters supposed to hate each other?" Andrea laughed as Faith shook her head and joined in on the laughter. "Take as much time as you need to, but right now I think you should go inside and get Buffy. I believe you two have a first date to get to and the night isn't going to last forever."

Faith's mind began to wander again as she tried to recognize the woman she was becoming. She was nothing like herself, not like she remembered being. She used to be comfortable in her own skin, comfortable with the same thoughts and feelings. Now, there were new thoughts, new feelings and a whole different person coming out of its shell deep inside of her. If she was being honest with herself, it scared her to no end. It made her feel weak, almost helpless to the torrent of emotions she now had to deal with day in and day out.

When she opened her eyes she saw that Andrea had already gone inside and Buffy was standing by the back door watching her with a smile on her face. With just a smile like that, Faith knew things were going to start to look up and she knew she'd soon forget the inner torment she was always putting herself through. The only thing that mattered tonight was the two of them and their date, Faith knew, would be the official start to their relationship.


	18. Chapter 18

Author's Notes: Just taking a moment to thank those who have stuck around...you think you know, but the ride has barely begun...

* * *

The spot Buffy had chosen for their first date was a couple miles out of town along a quiet, secluded beach. Faith had teased her mercifully when Giles refused the lend her his car and the teasing only got worse when she was turned down at three car rental companies due to the high rates on her insurance. After a series of pouts, Faith had hailed down a cab and let Buffy explain to the driver where to go.

That had been hours ago and when the driver stopped at the end of a dead-end street, Buffy smiled warmly at the driver as she handed him the cash. Faith struggled with her own memories the last time she'd been in a cab, but those memories faded as they got out and Buffy took her hand and led her down an overgrown pathway that lead through a small patch of trees and bushes. Faith's heart was racing in anticipation of what Buffy had planned for their first date.

"This is how it should have started," Buffy said softly as she pulled Faith to sit down next to her on the soft sand. "We kind of jumped head first into everything, don't you think?"

"We did. I'm not complaining though," Faith laughed softly as she looked at the bag Buffy had brought with her. "What's in there?"

"Dinner."

"Dinner?"

"Yeah, courtesy of Willow actually."

Faith smiled a little as she looked at Buffy briefly then turned to look out over the water. The half moon shone off the lake, creating a calm scene before them. Out of the corner of her eye she watched Buffy as she took out two wine glasses and ripped open a bag of blood and poured it inside both glasses. With a small chuckle at how weird yet how normal that was to both of them now, Faith turned to look at her as Buffy handed her a glass. She took a small, tentative sip and raised her eyebrows as she felt the unmistakable power of a slayer's blood light her body on fire.

"B?"

"I uh, convinced some of the girls to do 'blood work', for research purposes."

"Research?"

"That was the only logical thing that came to mind at that moment. I didn't think how useful it'd be now. The power, Faith...it's so strong."

"Not nearly as strong as yours was when you were still alive," Faith responded almost bitterly. "It was like heroin to me, B. I couldn't get nearly enough and I..."

"It's okay," Buffy smiled as she reached for Faith's hand. "I was there too, remember? I don't know what had come over me other than the fact I just wanted you. Once I got past that and had you, everything else seemed to be perfectly normal."

"You call me drinking from you normal?"

"It was rather erotic," Buffy whispered as she leaned in to kiss her ever so softly. "It wasn't like you'd imagine it to be. I think it was that way because I was beginning to fully accept how much I loved you, how much I always had loved you."

"That why you practically jumped me the first time?"

"From my memory, you came onto me first."

"Nuh uh," Faith laughed. "You kissed me first, B. Everything else just kind of fell into place after that even though I was completely scared out of my mind what was happening between us."

"Why were you scared?"

"Cos I never thought it'd ever happen."

"Goes to show just how limited your mind and fantasies were," Buffy teased as she leaned back and took a sip of her 'drink'.

"Not limited on the fantasies part although," Faith sighed as she motioned between them. "Everything happening to us while we're like this..."

"Like what? Vampires?"

"Yeah. See, the vampire thing...I dunno if it's just me, but I feel like that has a big part to do with why we're together. I had control over you before, B. I'm not completely convinced it was just you that wanted this."

"You think I was under some kind of a spell or thrall?"

"Yeah..."

"I wasn't, Faith. It was all you. Once I got over the denial that was it. I knew what I wanted and that was you."

Faith felt a sense of warmth and love wash over her with her words. There was more than just what she had said she felt them with every ounce of her being and every last bit of her soul. They were quiet, just sitting there listening to the small waves lapping against the sand and to each other's thoughts and feelings.

She knew it wasn't the time nor was it the place to start thinking of the past. Memories started flooding her mind as she thought of the days that followed the First being defeated and the fall of Sunnydale. She knew she didn't have to talk to Buffy about that. It had already been spoken of numerous times before in the past. Just thinking of those days brought her heartache and guilt for all the things she'd said and done. Even the things she hadn't done lingered there in the dark corners of her mind and memories.

The day she'd found out about Buffy and Satsu had been the day she up and left, disappeared to all that had known her. To all but Angel. Back then she didn't know why she'd done that and felt the things she had at first and as the years had dragged on by, she came to realize and embrace the fact that she had deep, solid feelings for Buffy and it hurt knowing it wasn't her that Buffy had chosen to walk down that particular path with first.

"You aren't ever going to let that go, are you?" Buffy asked with a frown as she broke the silence between them. "It should have been you, Faith. You and I both know that now. It's just at the time, with everything that had happened it wasn't time for us to take that step together."

"But why her, B? Why not someone else?"

"You really hate her, don't you?"

"Don't know why, but she just bugs me."

"Is it because she was with me or is it something else?"

"Both?" Faith shrugged. "Dunno. First time I met her, didn't like her. Like her even less now for the very obvious reasons. Besides, B. I don't wanna talk about this when we're supposed to be on our first date."

"Anything I can to do take your mind off of that then?" Buffy asked precariously as she took the wine glass from Faith's hand and set it in the sand next to her own. With a smile she moved to straddle Faith's legs and playfully pushed her back until she was lying on the sand. "I know exactly what you are thinking right now, Faith."

"Uh huh," Faith grinned as she ran her hands over Buffy's hips, keeping her from moving an inch. "And what's that exactly?"

"You know, breaking the first date rules."

"What rules?"

"No fucking on the first date," Buffy whispered almost breathlessly as she lowered her lips to capture Faith's in an intense, passionate kiss. "But we've already broke all the rules, haven't we?"

"Sure have," Faith said softly, her lips trembling as she watched Buffy pull off her t-shirt and toss it aside. Never had she felt nervous before they were about to fuck...make love, whatever it was in the heat of the moment. But she was. She was very nervous and she couldn't shake it.

"Baby?" Buffy pouted as she ran her fingers over Faith's trembling lips. "What's wrong? Don't tell me you are nervous after all the times we've been together?"

"Kind of am, just a little."

"Why?"

"Kind of out in the open," Faith stammered as Buffy brought her hands up to cup her bare breasts. "We've never...done it out in the open before."

"No we haven't, but there's always going to be a first with us, isn't there?" Buffy asked, sighing when Faith only could nod. "Do you need another drink? Maybe something a little stronger?"

"What, you brought some hard alcohol or something?" Faith laughed as she slowly sat up and circled her arms around Buffy. "Nah, just...it's stupid. I shouldn't be reacting like this. I should currently be devouring you until you beg me to stop."

"You've had a lot on your mind lately, haven't you?"

"I have."

"Maybe we should take a couple of steps back and just enjoy the night together?"

"Maybe," Faith smirked as she leaned down and ran the tip of her tongue over Buffy's hard nipple. "Or maybe we could just do this instead?"

Buffy moaned as her hands ran through Faith's hair and pulled her up for a deep kiss. Every time Buffy tried to pull Faith's shirt off, she stopped her and would hold both her hands behind her back as she continued to kiss her. With a gentle bite on Buffy's lower lip, Faith pulled away from the kiss and reached for her glass. Buffy was worked up, her skin was flush and her heart was beating rapidly.

"Faith...you can't kiss me like that and then act like it was nothing," Buffy sighed out as she reached for her shirt. Faith stopped her, shook her head and yanked the shirt from her hands and tossed it back onto the sand next to them. "What? If we aren't going to fuck, I don't want to sit here half naked while you ogle my goodies."

Faith raised an eyebrow as she took a sip and placed the glass back down next to her. "What if I like the view, B? You gonna deny me the ogling pleasure? Besides, I don't really wanna fuck out here and getting sand in places where the sun doesn't shine doesn't sound so appealing to me."

"I can make it appealing," Buffy said in her sweetest voice and flashed a smile as she reached for the hem of Faith's shirt and took it off before she could stop her. "Dare to say I can't?"

"I don't need to dare, I know you can. But..."

"But?"

"I'm more than just a fuck to you, right?"

"Are you kidding me, Faith? Seriously?"

"I'm making sure, B. That's all. Forget I even said it."

"I love you," Buffy whispered. "You know I do and I know you feel the same way about me. You are way more than just a fuck to me, although, hot sex, definitely a bonus."

"Definitely."

"Is this okay?" Buffy asked, studying her intensely as she tried to read her thoughts. "I mean, this whole first date thing...is it okay? Is it what you expected?"

"Didn't know what I expected, B. Never been on a real date before or anything that was considered one. But, as far as first dates go, definitely is up there on the top of the list of amazing."

"You're just saying that because you're ogling my goodies," Buffy laughed as she pushed Faith back onto the sand. "Admit it. You can't get enough of this."

"Just like you can't get enough of this?" Faith asked as she raised her hips into Buffy's and grinned at the moan that escaped Buffy's tightly pressed lips. Faith took advantage of Buffy having her eyes closed and popped the button on her jeans. "Or this."

With a low, sexy growl, Faith slipped her hands into the tight confines of Buffy's jeans, an eyebrow rising in mild surprise when she found there was nothing keeping her from her fingers easily sliding over Buffy's pussy. The soft yet grainy sand dug into her skin, making it a tad uncomfortable as she pulled Buffy fully down on top of her. She teased her, barely slipping a solitary finger inside of her before pulling away slightly. The frustrated groans coming from Buffy as she kissed her hard, furiously without abandon, edged her on.

Buffy broke away from the kiss, panting heavily as she kissed along Faith's neck and gently nibbled on the soft skin of her shoulder. Faith slid two fingers rather roughly inside of her as Buffy bit down on her shoulder a little harder. That's when she felt them. Buffy's fangs pierced her skin and her blood slowly trickled out. She stopped and pushed Buffy away enough to look into her eyes.

"Buffy..."

"You taste...so...fucking...delicious."

"But we can't...can we?"

"Taste," Buffy whispered as she pulled her hair away from her neck for Faith. "I shouldn't bring this up now, but...Nadine and me, we kind of..."

"Kind of what? Fucked?" Faith asked harshly as she pulled her hand out of Buffy's pants. "I thought you said it didn't go that far?"

"No, she let me drink a little from her. It's different than humans...stronger yet..." Buffy's voice trailed off as she struggled to find the words.

Faith didn't even wait for her to finish, she pulled her in closer and breathed out heavily as her fangs slid out rather quickly. She licked over Buffy's neck and down to the soft skin above her collar bone. A reassuring hand on the back of her head coaxed her and with a final breath, she bit her. The sensation of her fangs sliding easily into her skin rocked her body like a hard, intense orgasm. She hesitated at first as she felt the rather warm blood trickle from the wound, unsure and a little scared.

Then it hit her, harder than anything else she'd ever felt before. It was better than anything she'd ever tasted before, stronger and more powerful than she could ever have imagined. She pulled away slowly, looking up at Buffy in the darkness as her body buzzed in wonderful delight.

"So?" Buffy asked, a small smile creeping over her lips as she gently wiped a trickle of blood from the corner of Faith's mouth.

"Wow."

"Mm-hmm."

"I get it now," Faith whispered, barely able to get a breath out as her body continued to buzz from the incredible high she was still on. "I get why you kept going back to her, playing those fucked up games. That was how it ended every time, wasn't it?"

"Yeah," Buffy nodded, looking away as guilt flooded her. "Once I started I couldn't stop. I still don't think I can. It's the demon inside of me, Faith. The demon of both the vampire and the slayer."

"Ever just try to feel human?"

"Doesn't work," Buffy shrugged as she made no attempt to move from her current position. "Never has and it never will. The slayer is who I've always been and the vampire, well...it's been an...experience."

Faith knew Buffy was choosing her words rather carefully and controlling certain emotions that ran rampant in her mind. As far as first dates went, if they hadn't known each other or fucked beforehand, it'd be over right then and there. Lack of experience in dating or not, Faith knew there were topics, issues you just didn't bring up on a date. The heart-to-hearts and confessions and secrets could wait and so could fucking one another until they nearly blacked out. She didn't want to remember this night this way. If only she could have rewound the clock and started the night over, started it right.

"How would you do it?" Buffy asked softly as she got off of Faith and reached for her shirt, slowly pulling it on as she let out a long, low sigh. "How would it be different?"

"Dunno, B. Seems like we never do anything the way it should be," Faith laughed as she felt like she died a little on the inside. "We're meant to be together, I know that much, but..."

"Don't finish that. Please don't."

"I can't ever do anything right. Been this way my whole life and I thought things were changing. It was too much to hope for, too much to ask for."

That's when the slap came. Hard and not so out of nowhere. Faith raised her hand to her cheek and lowered her head as she reached for her shirt with her free hand. She knew she deserved it and in her mind, it should have happened months ago, not now.

"Why do you do this to yourself? One minute you're feeling good, happy even then the next...god, Faith. Bipolar much?" Buffy nearly yelled as she stood up and walked to the water.

She sat there, listening as Buffy cried softly for just a moment. She drank what was left in her glass before she stood up and walked over to Buffy. She wrapped her arms around her from behind and just held her, not saying a word, not thinking, just feeling.

"I'm sorry, B. I don't know why I am the way I am."

"You are insecure."

"No...am I?"

"You are," she sighed as she turned around slightly to look at her. "Every time I think you've let go of your insecurities they come back. Why?"

"Fuck if I know."

Buffy ran her fingers over Faith's arms still circled tightly around her waist. "Do you want to know what I think? I think you don't trust yourself, your feelings. You're afraid if you do, you'll end up getting hurt."

"Maybe," Faith shrugged as she leaned in and rested her head against Buffy's. "Maybe it's something else completely? I don't fucking know, B. If I knew, I'd stop feeling this way, being this way...whatever the fuck. Do we have to talk about this right now?"

"I think we do."

"Some first date this is turning out to be," Faith said softly as she let go of Buffy. "Romantic crap is one of the things I've never done, much less been good at. If it were up to me, we'd be in that hotel room of yours fucking till we couldn't move."

"Always with the fucking," Buffy tittered as she stifled a laugh. "Guess I kind of have to expect that from you, huh?"

"Nothing more or nothing less."

"I think there is a lot more, Faith. You just need to open yourself up to it and let me in."

"I've let you in, B. I've let you in further than I ever let anyone else in before. It scares the fuck out of me, you know?"

"It shouldn't."

"I know that!" Faith groaned as she backed up and sat down on the sand and buried her face in her hands as she fought back the anger and the tears. "I feel all over the place and at the same time, I feel like I'm nowhere."

Buffy nodded, understanding exactly what she meant as she sat down next to her. "You know I love you for everything you are, Faith. I don't want you to change, but I hate seeing and feeling how insecure you get and the mood swings are one thing I don't get."

"Part of the overall package."

"Faith...this is the part where you tell me why you get like this."

"Why? I told you before, I don't fucking know, okay?"

"You're right," Buffy sighed as she took Faith's hand in hers. "We shouldn't talk about this right now even though we really need to."

Faith breathed heavily, the small dose of blood she'd taken from Buffy still running wildly throughout her body. They were quiet for a long time, just sitting there staring out of the water and listening to the crickets and other creatures of the night provide a tuneless song. Faith couldn't stop thinking about how many times the night had flipped around on them and the more she thought about it, the more her head began to spin. For once in her life she wanted things to be simple, to be easy and just happen without any consequences, without having to deal with her insecurities that were a lot clearer than she thought they were to Buffy.

It wasn't just tonight that flipped around continuously, it was her whole life. At least it was in the last three and a half months. She couldn't help but think back to the night she ran into Buffy on the streets of LA. That's when everything changed between them. That's when the trust between them had started even though it wasn't spoken of. She realized now, even though at the time she wanted to run, seeing Buffy the way she had made her choose not to run off and disappear. She had to inwardly laugh at herself thinking about it now. From what she remembered feeling that night and the days that followed, all she wanted to do was run like she had in the past.

Buffy turned to Faith, smiling a little as she leaned in for a rather chaste kiss. "Dance with me."

"Dance?"

"Yes," Buffy smiled wider as she stood up and pulled Faith with her. "Dance with me, Faith."

"Uh...okay."

"You don't need actual music to dance," Buffy whispered as she wrapped her arms around Faith's neck and pulled her in close. "Just listen to the sounds around us, listen to each other. There's always a rhythm playing."

Faith nodded, smiling a little as she wrapped her arms around Buffy's waist and held her close. They swayed slowly, just breathing and listening to the sound of their hearts steadily beating, to the sounds of nature and the quiet lapping of the waves as they hit the shore. Faith closed her eyes as Buffy gently kissed her neck before laying her head on her shoulder and holding her tight.

"This is nice," Faith admitted after a few long minutes. "This part of the romantic crap I was talking about before?"

"Yes."

Faith smiled to herself as she lowered her hands to Buffy's ass. "And this?"

"You are pushing it," Buffy laughed as she leaned back to look at her. "Faith?"

"Yeah, B?"

"If you won't come back with me, I'm staying right here with you."

"What about..."

"They can handle things there themselves. I'm not happy being anywhere else but with you."

"Would you still feel the same way if we weren't..."

"Yes, I would."

"Okay," Faith smiled as she leaned in to kiss her softly. "Just making sure."

"See, this is your insecurity talking," Buffy said softly as she leaned in and brushed her lips over Faith's, holding back with a shuddering breath as she kept herself from kissing her. "Don't let it take over you like this."

Faith nodded as she kissed her slowly, keeping it light and a little chaste at first. She slid her hands under the hem of Buffy's shirt, her fingertips trailing over the soft skin of her back as she held her impossibly close. Buffy slid her tongue over Faith's lips as she pushed her down into the sand. They both laughed softly as Faith flipped them over, lying Buffy on her back as she nudged her legs apart enough for her to settle in between them. Faith could only groan into the kiss as Buffy rolled them over and it became a battle of who could get on top as the kiss became wild and wanton.

Without warning, Buffy pulled away and jumped off of her, winking as she stripped out of her clothes and ran into the water. Faith leaned up on her elbows and could only watch as Buffy dove under the water and swam out just far enough so the water reached her shoulders.

"Faith, aren't you coming in? The water is perfect."

She smiled as she got up and slowly stripped out of her clothes. Taking her time, she walked into the water and made her way to where Buffy stood waiting for her. The water wasn't warm, but it wasn't cold either. It was a rather nice relief from the warm night and as she reached Buffy, she circled her arms around her and held her close. The way the moonlight shone off the surface of the water illuminated their bodies, creating a rather sensual atmosphere as their lips eagerly met in a deep, passionate kiss.

Buffy smiled into the kiss as she wrapped her legs around Faith's waist, grinding herself into her just enough to cause Faith to moan out and break the kiss for a moment. The intensity and the heat building between them created the perfect storm of emotions and Faith no longer wanted to hold herself back, no longer allowed her insecurities to take over her. She let pure instinct and need take over her. It was another darkness deep inside of her, one she knew she didn't have to worry about losing control over.

Faith parted from the kiss, her eyes meeting Buffy's as she ran her hand over Buffy's stomach and slowly made her way down between her legs. The heat coming from Buffy, even in the water, was enough to send shocks through her entire body. Everything about Buffy was addictive for her. The way she would look at her, the way she felt and quivered under her touch, the way she smelled and tasted...it was the perfect drug. The one thing that was keeping her from falling over the edge of her own self-destruction.

"Baby," Buffy whispered as she ran her fingertips over Faith's forehead and down across her cheek. "You are always thinking so much. Is this a new thing or has it always been like this for you?"

"Definitely a new thing."

"Oh."

"I'll try to stop thinking," Faith laughed a little as she slid her fingers over Buffy's clit. "There are other things to keep my mind preoccupied, you know?"

"Like that?" Buffy moaned as Faith dipped a finger, teasing her as she pulled it away. "God, why must you tease me, baby?"

"Cos I like how you beg me for more."

"Do you?"

"Yes I do," Faith whispered as she ran her tongue over Buffy's neck. "Your voice when you do, so fucking sexy, B. I could come just from hearing you beg me for more."

Buffy leaned in, her lips brushing Faith's ear as she whispered, "More."

With a shudder, Faith bit back a moan as she slid two fingers deep inside, the molten heat nearly burning her as she pumped her fingers in and out slowly. Her mind was now solely on making Buffy come and drawing out her orgasm as long as she could without torturing her. Every last thought disappeared as Buffy latched onto the skin of her neck just below her ear as she rode out her quick approaching orgasm.

The heat between them, the intensity of the night so far and the serene surroundings had made the night nearly perfect. Nearly. Faith knew that even after all the things that had been said and done, it was definitely turning out to be one of the best nights of her life. Here she was with the woman she loved, making love to her in the water under the moonlight and the stars. Maybe it was the love-sick part of her, or maybe it was something else, but she knew she could definitely get used to having many more nights together just like this.

Sounds of footsteps walking down the pathway pulled them apart and back to reality. Buffy unwrapped her legs from Faith as Faith slid her fingers out from inside of her slowly. They both turned to see who was coming and sighed out in relief when they saw it was only a pair of rather drunk teenagers looking for some late night fun. Buffy splashed some water at Faith as she swam away from her, giggling at the stumped and confused look on her face. Faith let her get away, just far enough that she didn't see her when she dove under the water and swam towards her.

"Faith!" Buffy squealed as she was pulled under the water suddenly. They both surfaced, laughing as they wrapped their arms around each other. "God, I didn't expect that."

"Always expect the unexpected with me, B."

"Well, duh...I knew that already."

Faith smiled and leaned in to kiss her only to come in contact with Buffy's hand instead. "What?"

"Let's get out, dry off and head back to the hotel."

"Calling it a night so soon?" Faith pouted. "Just as it was getting good."

"Oh, the night is far from over," Buffy smiled as she headed back for the beach. "Coming?"

"In a minute," Faith sighed as she stood there in the water, feeling every ripple of the waves as they rolled past her.

She let the water relax her, ease her tense muscles before she too made her way back to the beach. She was met by Buffy holding out a towel and with a smile she took it and quickly dried herself off before putting her clothes back on. Neither said a word as they left the beach and found a payphone nearby and called a cab. It felt like an eternity before the cab finally showed up and the climbed into the back together, their fingers intertwined and their eyes never once leaving one another's intense stare.

After all they had been through the night was exactly what they had needed. The ride back to the city and to the hotel took longer than it felt. After Buffy paid the driver, she led them inside and up to the fourth floor. Faith said not a word and neither did Buffy as they walked into the dark room. As soon as the door clicked shut behind them, Buffy locked it and licked her lips as she backed Faith up towards the bed.

"Are you sure this isn't just about sex?" Faith asked, meaning it to be a joke rather than a serious question as it had been earlier in the night.

"Faith..."

"Jesus, B. Relax," she laughed as she fell back onto the bed and pulled Buffy with her. "I know it's more than just sex even though all we seem to do is...well..."

"Are you saying it's too much?" Buffy asked as she raised an eyebrow.

"No, not too much. More like not enough," Faith replied in a low, husky whisper. "So, what are you waiting for, B? Time to get naked."

"We've got all night and I've got this room until Monday morning," Buffy smiled lasciviously as she ran her fingers over Faith's arms, giggling as goose bumps formed under her fingertips. "I hope Giles doesn't expect you back until then because right now, baby, you are mine. All mine. I'm not sharing you with anyone else until I've had my naughty way with you."

Faith shivered as she spoke, sensual chills running throughout her body at the unbridled sexiness that seemed to pour out of Buffy with every beat of her heart. The passion, the fearlessness of Buffy letting herself go was something that Faith had a feeling would forever surprise her, forever turn her on in ways she'd never felt before. It was this side of Buffy she'd never imagined she'd see, never imagined that she had it in her. It fuelled the fire of passion she had for Buffy deep inside her soul.

The passion overpowered everything inside of her, including the darkness she could always feel was about to creep out. She closed her eyes as Buffy bit on her shoulder over the same spot she had before and that was all it took for her to fall over the edge into complete ecstasy. When their eyes met in an intense stare, Faith knew then that everything that had been between them up until that moment was about to take a very different path.

And she was ready for it. All of it.


	19. Chapter 19

Lying on the large king sized bed in the hotel room, Faith stared up at the ceiling as she ran her fingers over the many love-bites Buffy had given her over the past couple of days. It never felt so good to feel so sore in every place imaginable. With a soft groan she slid out of bed and walked over to the window, drawing back the heavy curtains that blocked out the bright afternoon sunlight.

"Come back to bed, Faith."

"We haven't left the bed in three days, B. Don't you think we should get dressed and maybe go out?"

Buffy laughed wryly as she got up and walked up behind her, biting onto her tender shoulder playfully. "We have the room for one more day, Faith. I'm still not finished with you."

"You'll never be," Faith groaned as she turned around and wrapped her arms around her. "A couple hours out of the room won't kill us. Besides I'm getting a little hungry."

They both knew that even though they had bit and fed from each other, it wasn't the same as to satisfy the hunger than ran deep inside both of them. It just gave them a high unlike anything else. With a growl, Buffy pulled her back to the bed and threw her down, straddling her hips before Faith could move away. The wanton, animalistic behaviour Buffy had shown her over the past couple of days was wild, unrestricted and there were times Faith thought she was completely getting out of control and she couldn't help but worry about her just a little.

"Buffy...stop," Faith groaned as Buffy slid down her body, nipping at her skin as she went. "Buffy..."

"You don't want me to stop," she whispered against the soft skin over her thighs. "You never want me to stop. Last night...you couldn't get enough."

"I..." Faith sighed out as Buffy ran her tongue over her clit, teasing her as she stared up at her with such intense passion in her eyes. "Oh god, don't stop."

Buffy grinned as she pulled back slowly, fluttering her eyelashes as she crawled up over Faith. "See. You never want me to stop."

"Then why did you?" Faith gasped out as the electric current of pleasure continued to pulse through her body.

"I'm a bit hungry myself," Buffy whispered almost sounding a little ashamed she hadn't admitted it before. "Does Giles...does he keep a supply at the house?"

"He does. Oh shit...he's gonna be pissed I haven't come back yet."

"Since when do you care what he thinks, Faith?"

"Since always, I guess," Faith shrugged as she struggled to get up from underneath Buffy. "Come on, B. Stop fucking around. We gonna go eat or what?"

With a nasty look, Buffy got off of her and stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door hard behind her. Faith found her clothes right where she'd left them, in a pile at the foot of the bed still covered in a bit of sand from the night on the beach. After she got dressed and ran her fingers through her messy, tangled hair, she picked up the phone and called Giles to let him know they were coming there in a little while. Giles of course wasn't too pleased with the fact Faith had been gone for the last three days, but he let it go.

"Buffy?" Faith called out softly as she knocked on the bathroom door. "You ready to go?"

"Almost."

Faith sighed as she tried the door and found it locked. "Come on, B. It's just Giles. No need to pretty yourself up."

"I'm having a shower because unlike you, I don't like feeling all sticky and gross."

"Didn't hear you complaining about that before," Faith muttered under her breath as she walked over to the window and opened it.

"Are you smoking, Faith?" Buffy yelled from the bathroom before Faith could even light what would be the first cigarette she'd had in three days. "I thought you promised me you wouldn't anymore?"

"Jesus fuck," Faith said softly as she put the cigarette back in the pack and quickly tucked it into her pocket as Buffy walked out of the bathroom with a scowl on her face. "Not smoking, B."

"You were going to."

"Yeah, and?"

"You promised me you wouldn't."

"Fine," Faith sighed as she let Buffy pull the pack out of her jeans pocket. "If I get all fucking annoyed and bitchy it's your fault."

"Fine, but I'm sure you'll figure out ways to take your mind off of it," Buffy winked as she tossed the pack in the garbage can and grabbed onto Faith's hand. "Is Giles expecting us?"

"He is."

"Come on then," Buffy smiled as she pulled Faith in for a quick kiss.

Faith rolled her eyes as she let Buffy drag her out of the room and towards the elevators near the end of the hallway. It was going to be a long afternoon and Faith couldn't help but feel like Buffy was none too pleased to have to cut their weekend a bit short. After all, they did have different needs now that needed to be sated.

The walk to Giles' didn't take very long. Buffy said not a word to her and her stare was ice cold whenever their eyes did meet for a few split seconds. Faith had to shrug it off and not let it get to her. Buffy was as hungry as she was and it was starting to really change her mood. Faith let go of Buffy's hand as she walked in the back door of Giles' house and found him sitting at the kitchen table with the paper spread out before him and a cup of tea in his hand.

"Always with the tea, Giles."

"Faith," he nodded with a smile as he looked up at her. "Good lord, you look quite the sight this morning."

"What do you mean?" Faith asked as she opened the fridge.

"Your neck," he said softly as he looked at her. "Were you and Buffy..."

"Asking about our sex life?" Faith laughed as she shook her head and watched as Giles' face flushed a deep red. "It's nothing. We were just playing around."

"Uh, playing around? By biting?"

"Giles," Faith laughed as she took out two bags and placed them on the counter as she looked over to the door at Buffy as she walked in. "You wouldn't get it."

"Yeah, you wouldn't get it," Buffy smirked as she walked over to Faith and gave her a quick, chaste kiss. "Is he being nosy?"

"Very," Faith whispered as she glanced over her shoulder at him. "It's no big, B. He's just concerned, you know?"

"I am concerned about you two, more than I believe you realize," he said as he stood up and walked over to the stove and poured himself another cup of tea. "I'm not going to tell you two how to control yourselves, but I fear for both of your sanity."

"We're sane," Buffy laughed. "As sane as we can get being what we are right now."

"I got a phone call from Willow last night. It seems that some of the girls have run into Nadine."

Buffy's eyes went wide at the mention of Nadine and she clenched her fists as she stared at him. "What happened?"

"Nothing as far as we know. Nadine is looking for you, both of you. Her intentions are not too clear, but I believe it has a lot to do with the vendetta."

"That's where you are wrong," Buffy sighed. "She doesn't want revenge. She hated Edward. She wants us."

Faith ignored the thoughts Buffy was now having of Nadine as she made up two mugs and tossed them in the microwave. With her back turned, she fought off her tears and pushed back the lump in her throat that had come with the mention of Nadine. She knew that no matter what they did, Nadine would always be there, waiting for them, wanting them. They couldn't kill her. She'd always come back. She was like a leech that sucked until you were dead and gone and yet still clung on. In some ways though, Faith knew they had to face up to Nadine again. Whether or not they'd be able to control the thrall she had over them, she knew they'd find out come the day they were in her presence.

Faith couldn't relax, couldn't let it go from her mind. Buffy stood behind her and gently ran her hands over her tense shoulders as Faith stared at the mugs in the microwave. She tried to relax as Buffy wrapped her arms around her and held her close, but she couldn't relax. Not now. She could feel Giles staring at them and it bothered her the way he was looking at them, thinking of the things they were going through. It made her skin crawl and she pushed Buffy away from her as the microwave beeped.

"Where's Andrea?" Faith asked as she turned to look at Giles.

"With the rest of the girls upstairs."

"Anything happen in the last couple of days I should know about?"

"Nothing interesting. They went out on patrol. Alone," Giles replied as Buffy joined him at the table. "Before you can ask, yes they are fine. Nobody got hurt. They got a couple of lone vampires wandering the streets around here. Everything you've been showing them has helped them. They only proved that this weekend."

"Does that mean Faith is done here?" Buffy asked, smiling as she looked over at her. "I mean, if the girls can handle it on their own, she doesn't need to stay, does she?"

"For now, no," Giles replied with a faint smile. "But I would like for both of you to be reachable in case anything major happens."

"Like an apocalypse or something just as huge," Buffy nodded. "We'll be reachable, Giles. That is part of our calling we'll never be able to ignore even if we wanted to."

"Right," he smiled and they both looked over at Faith. "Are you okay with this?"

"Sure," she shrugged. "What about the Harley out in the shed?"

"What about it?"

"Did you forget already?"

"What Harley?" Buffy asked. "Giles, you have a Harley?"

"Yes, I have a Harley," he laughed. "I was going to give it to Faith once she got her license for it."

Faith stared at Buffy, seeing the images that played through Buffy's mind. It made her skin flush, her heart race and her clit throb. She downed the entire contents of her mug and quickly headed upstairs before the images wrecked havoc on the little bit of self-control she had left. She found Andrea in her room, alone and standing by the window. She had a cigarette dangling from her lips and Faith didn't have to see her face to know she had been crying. Faith didn't say a word as she began to pick up her clothes and put them into her duffle bag. She was leaving and she had a feeling Andrea knew that already.

"Why?" Andrea whispered almost too quiet for Faith to hear. She wasn't sure if Andrea said it or thought it.

"Why what?"

"You're leaving."

"You knew I would have to leave eventually," Faith sighed. "Why are you so upset, Andy?"

"I don't feel like I belong here, Faith. When you leave...I'm going to feel even more alone than I already do. God, look at me. I'm clinging. Why am I clinging? I barely know you."

"Maybe its cos we're half sisters," Faith shrugged. "Guess you feel that and with me around you didn't feel so alone. The clinging I can understand a bit, you know? I'll always be a phone call away, Andy."

"I know."

"Besides," Faith smiled as she put her arm around Andy's shoulder. "Come holidays at least I'll have some real family to celebrate with."

"Yeah," Andrea smiled. "Been a long time since I've had real family around me."

"Me too."

"Where are you going?"

"Dunno?" Faith shrugged. "Maybe back to Scotland for awhile. Me and B haven't talked about it really."

"When are you leaving? Right now?"

"Sometime today, like I said, we haven't really talked about it."

"Too busy fucking all weekend?" Andrea laughed as she wiggled her eyebrows at Faith's smirk that curled across her lips at that. "I don't blame you. If I had a girl like her, shit, I don't think we'd ever leave the bedroom."

"Hey, you ever get a girl, she's gotta go through me first. Big sister deal and all you know."

"I know," Andrea laughed. "But I'm not gay so, that won't be happening."

"No guys?"

"There's been a few."

"Oh?" Faith laughed as she nudged her with her shoulder. "One of these days you'll have to share the details. I find out any guy lays a hand on you, he's dead."

"Faith..."

"What?"

"You don't need to be that protective over me. Slayer here. I can hold my own."

"I know. You know where I'm coming from, Andy. Get used to it, cos I've never had a sister before and being the oldest I feel like I gotta protect you from the scum out there."

Faith laughed at the oblivious look on Andrea's face and walked over and sat down on the unmade bed. She tried to read Andrea's emotions, but they came in fuzzy as if Andrea was trying to block them from her. Faith didn't blame her. It was one of the things they all had to learn. Part of self-defence that Giles had deemed 'essential' to all of them. The longer she stared at Andrea, the more she felt the uneasiness coming from her.

"What's up?"

"What?" Andrea asked, not turning around as she finished her cigarette and tossed it out the window. "Nothing is up. What's up with you?"

"Hey, don't be all pissed cos I'm leaving. You knew I would have to eventually. I'm done here, Andy. I can't stay here."

"Why?"

"Well," Faith sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair to calm herself down a little. "I want to be with Buffy. If you were in love with someone, you'd understand how I've felt the last couple of months being apart from her."

"You really do love her, don't you?"

"She's my other half," Faith smiled as she felt Buffy approach the room. "Waited what felt like my whole life to get her and now that I have her, I don't want to let her go and I don't want to spend any more time apart from her than I already have. It's killing me, you know? Like I said, until you love someone the way I love her, then you'll understand."

Faith sighed as she leaned back on the bed and closed her eyes, feeling Buffy out in the hallway just listening in on their conversation. She could feel the hesitation at first then she opened her eyes as Buffy knocked on the door and slowly opened it. She walked in the room with a smile on her face and sat down next to Faith on the bed.

"Are you two bonding? I hope I wasn't interrupting anything."

"Nah, we're good."

Andrea groaned as she wiped away a few of her tears before she turned to look at both of them. "So, are you guys going back to Scotland?"

"For awhile, yes," Buffy nodded. "I just talked to Willow. Whenever you're ready to go just let me know."

"There's something you aren't telling me," Faith said as she studied Buffy's intensity in her eyes. "B?"

"What? Oh," she laughed a little as she looked over at Andrea. "I asked Giles if it would be alright if you came back with us. It's entirely up to you if you want to stay here or not."

"Really?" Andrea's eyes lit up at the mention of coming back to Scotland with them. "What about..."

"Giles and the girls can handle it here. We're only a phone call away," Buffy replied as she stood up and stretched out. "So, are you going to come back with us or would you rather stay here?"

"You okay with me coming back with you guys, Faith?"

"Why wouldn't I be okay with that?" Faith asked. "It'll give us plenty of time to really bond as sisters."

"Plus," Buffy spoke up as she watched Andrea quickly pack up her clothes. "I don't really know that much about you and since I'm with Faith that practically makes us family."

Faith smiled at the happiness she now felt coming from Andrea as she walked over and hugged Buffy tightly. The feeling of actually having a family really began to hit Faith. She was a part of Buffy's family and she had her own with Andrea. It was a feeling she'd never thought she'd ever know or have. It almost made her want to break down and cry, but she held it together. She hated crying for any reason and with her emotions always on overload, it was becoming harder and harder for her to continue to suppress them.

The girls and Giles gathered an hour later in the back yard to say goodbye. Faith kept her distance, standing off to the side and wishing she could have a cigarette to calm her nerves. She didn't know why she was feeling nervous. It wasn't like she wasn't welcome in Scotland. But, she was nervous because she knew they'd run into Nadine sooner rather than later. She understood the game her and Buffy were playing before and it scared her since she knew if she came across Nadine, she'd be helpless and would be sucked into the game as easily as Buffy had been.

She was also nervous about Andrea coming back with them. Ever since the revelation that they were half sisters, she was afraid that one little thing would fuck up the bond they'd had. Family always scared the shit out of her, made her put up walls so high and so thick nothing could break them down. Andrea was a handful, just like she had been herself and she feared that if she didn't keep a close eye on her, Andrea would slip away into her own pit of darkness and wouldn't be able to get out of it. Faith had been lucky she had a chance for redemption and the deep down feeling that it wouldn't be the same for Andrea if it ever came to that was stronger than ever.

"Faith, you alright?" Giles asked softly as he pulled her in for a hug.

"I'm fine," she replied coldly. "Just fucking peachy, G."

"Are you okay with Andrea coming back with you two?"

"Why wouldn't I be? Gives us a chance to bond and whatever the fuck."

"Faith..."

"What?"

"If you aren't okay with it, you should say so."

"Giles, seriously, why wouldn't I be okay with it? Andrea didn't want me to leave so this kind of works out in her favour, you know?"

Giles nodded as he gave her another tight hug and stepped back. "Any problems, you know who to call."

"Right, like anyone can control her but herself," she laughed bitterly. "She's too much like me and that scares me."

"You may feel that she is a lot like you, Faith. She is her own person too, you know that?"

"I know, G. That's what scares me. I feel so protective of her. I felt it before I even knew we're sisters."

"Just don't treat her any different than you have been and everything will be fine. Give her a chance to get to know you for you. Don't be afraid of showing yourself. I know you've been having trouble doing that, even with Buffy, but once you let those walls down you'll find it to be a lot easier than you thought."

"You always know how to talk some sense into me," Faith laughed as she playfully punched him in the shoulder. "Don't know what I'd do without you, G."

"I'm a phone call away if you ever need me."

"Been hearing that line a lot today."

"Of course, we'll all be together over the holidays."

"Something to look forward to," Faith said as she tried to smile yet failed. "Don't know how to thank you for all you've done for me. Where would I even start?"

"You don't need to thank me for anything, Faith."

"I do," she sighed. "You've been there for me in ways nobody else has before, you know? God, why am I getting so fucking emotional? I feel like a pregnant chick or something."

They both laughed and shared one last hug before they joined Buffy, Andrea and the rest of the girls. Faith laughed when she still couldn't remember any of their names and realized it really didn't matter anymore. Buffy reached for her hand, smiling as their eyes met. Buffy leaned in and kissed her softly, whispering into her ear for her not to worry about a thing. Everything was going to be okay. Not normal okay, but okay. As much as Faith wanted to believe that, she couldn't. Nothing was ever okay in their world and it never would be. There'd always be something there, something happening or about to happen that would keep them from ever finding peace.

Faith did have hope, a tiny smidgen of hope, that one day they'd find peace. All of them. That day though, wouldn't and couldn't come soon enough. With one last round of goodbyes, Buffy made the call to Willow and before Faith could even blink, she found herself landing on the cool, slick grass just outside the castle. She stayed out there, watching as Buffy and Andrea disappeared inside the castle. The rain fell from the sky, soaking her in a matter of seconds, but she didn't care. She could hardly feel it. She looked around the courtyard and her eyes fell upon the very familiar figure of Nadine lurking behind a row of trees. With a quick glance up at the castle, Faith headed over to her, ready for a confrontation with her.

"Well, look what the witch brought back," Nadine laughed as Faith grabbed onto her and slammed her against the nearest tree. "What was that for? Not that I expected you to be happy to see me."

"Nadine, I want you to stay the fuck away from the girls. You want me and Buffy, fine you can have us, but stay away from the girls, you hear me?"

"Is that any way to treat me?"

"What other way is there?"

"We're practically family, Faithy."

"Fuck that. I got a family already and you are nothing close to being a part of it."

Nadine ignored her as she examined the very faint love bites on her neck. "I see you've discovered a few things with your girl."

"Fuck you."

"Amazing wasn't it? The power you feel from drinking from each other," she sighed out as she remembered how it felt for her and Buffy. "I'm sure it was a million times better though, seeing how you two were probably fucking while you did."

"Nadine, fuck off."

"Now, now..." she sighed as she grabbed firmly onto Faith's arms and spun her around so she was now the one being pressed up against the tree. "If it wasn't for my little game with Buffy, she wouldn't have stopped feeding on poor 'innocent' humans and she'd be nothing more than a monster who has forgotten she has a soul. She wouldn't have found the thrill of what it's like with our kind. And no, I'm not talking about sex, although with you two it sure seems like a big part of what you have together."

"Why are you so fucking interested in me and Buffy? Why do you want us? Cos were slayers?"

"You two have something rather special. I'm envious of it to no end. I want to see it for myself the kind of power and love you have together."

"What the hell you gonna get out of it?"

"I don't know, that is the mystery of it all," Nadine smirked. "You really don't understand the years, the decades of torture I've put myself through. I'm not as bad as you've made me out to be. I was human once. I loved like a human once. I still have those god awful human emotions. You two, on the other hand, are something else completely. I'm intrigued."

Faith wanted to say something yet her words became nothing but a jumbled mess. The second she let herself stare into Nadine's eyes, she was done for. The pull inside of her, the one that reminded her how much she loved Buffy, kept her from falling too far in Nadine's thrall. The sly look on Nadine's face quickly faded as soon as Faith blinked and pushed her away.

"Look, I know you like to play, but I don't want to," Faith said sharply as she took in a deep breath. "I'm not a fucking toy and neither is Buffy."

"I never said you were," Nadine whispered as she slowly licked her lips. "Aren't you going to let me have a little taste, Faithy?"

"No."

"One little taste?"

"I said no!" Faith shouted at her as she forcefully pushed her way past her. "Look, you can fuck around with me and B as much as you want to, but we're not falling for your fucking head games."

"And the girls?"

"You stay the fuck away from them."

"I'll stay away from them if...if you let me have a little taste, Faithy. One little taste, that's all I'm asking."

As much as she wanted to stand her ground and tell her no, Faith had a feeling she had to give into what Nadine was asking of her. With a heavy sigh she walked up to her and held out her arm. "One little fucking taste, Nadine. That's it."

"Good girl," she smirked as she bore her fangs and held Faith's arm in an iron tight grip. "I bet you taste sweeter than Buffy. You've had the darkness inside of you and you've been fighting it for far too long. Always makes it tastier."

Faith closed her eyes as Nadine bit down as gently as she could, yet the pain was different from when Buffy had bit her. It was excruciating and at the same time, she wanted more. So much more. She was falling off the edge then, barely able to hold onto what was left of the good inside her with every drop that passed Nadine's lips. With the last bit of self-control she had, she pulled her arm away from her and breathed out heavily, her heart pounding so hard it felt like it would explode.

"My, my..." Nadine groaned out in pure ecstasy. "Delicious."

"Get the fuck out of here, Nadine."

"Or else?"

"I don't know. Just get the fuck out of here."

"You offered yourself and Buffy to me in exchange for staying away from the girls. I fully expect you to keep your word. You do not want to know what I am capable of if you do not."

With that, Nadine took off through the forest, disappearing in the fog and the mist before Faith could catch her breath. She looked at the wound on her wrist and sighed as she ran her fingers delicately over it. The bleeding had stopped almost instantly, but now she was marked by Nadine. The mark wouldn't fade for days; she knew that and having to explain to Buffy what had happened was something she wasn't sure how she was going to deal with. She also wasn't sure how to tell Buffy about her offering either. It would just have to be dealt with as it came.

Shivering slightly as the coldness of the rain soaked her to the bone, she made her way to the castle, fighting off her tears and her guilt with every step she took. All she wanted was an escape and there was no escape to be found anywhere. Her only known escape was when she was with Buffy. That was the only time the world around her seemed to stop and fade away. The past couple of hours was fucking with her head and her emotions and no matter how hard she'd been trying to get them under control, she just couldn't.

Feeling lost, feeling like the monster inside of her more and more with every second that passed, she knew she had to deal with it and get it under control. Where to start, she didn't know.

The castle was rather quiet, as it normally was in the early evening hours. Faith made her way to her and Buffy's room, avoiding being seen or heard by anyone. The gentle sigh coming from Willow as she rounded the corner that led to the bedroom stopped her in her tracks. They only made eye contact for a split second as Willow apprehensively approached her. Faith felt cornered as Willow stared at her, her concern and worry so very clear in her eyes and body language with every step she took to get closer to her.

"Where've you been?"

"Outside."

"I saw you," Willow whispered. "With Nadine. What happened out there, Faith?"

"What do you think happened, Red? I told her to leave the girls alone."

"And?"

"Fuck," Faith sighed as she backed up into the wall. "It's fucked up, Willow. Don't expect you to understand it."

"Oh really?" Willow sighed as she grabbed onto Faith's arms with such strength Faith hadn't expected from her. "I think I know exactly what happened."

"Red..." Faith said shakily as she stared into her eyes, so intense and almost glowing as they bore into her own. "What the hell has gotten into you?"

"You really have no idea, do you?"

"Seriously," Faith shuddered as Willow's grip tightened. "What the hell is going on?"

"Nobody else knows," she whispered as she turned her head away from Faith, hiding her eyes behind her hair that fell in front of her face. "Nobody knows. Nobody is going to know."

"Know what?"

Willow stepped back, keeping her face and eyes hidden from Faith as her breathing quickened. Faith felt something different about her, something powerful, and something dark and something so very familiar. With wide eyes she watched as Willow finally turned to look at her.

"After Buffy went to you, I went to find Nadine. To confront her. I never thought...I didn't see it coming, Faith. She had me under her spell the moment I looked into her eyes. It happened so fast. Nobody else knows. Nobody else will ever know."

"Know what, Red?"

"Promise me you won't tell anyone?"

"Seriously, Red...fucking tell me what the hell is going on?"

Faith nearly choked on her breath as Willow groaned out softly, bearing her fangs as her breath quickened even more so. "They can't know."

"You...Nadine changed you?"

"She did. I told you, it happened so fast. I didn't know what was going on, Faith. I didn't even get a chance to defend myself. Nobody can know do you understand me, Faith? Not even Buffy."

At complete loss for words, Faith could only nod her head as she looked away from Willow. The reality of it all sunk in deep and she finally found her voice. "No one will know, Red. Your secret is safe with me."

"Good. Oh and Faith?"

"Yeah?"

"I know how to kill Nadine," she said softly, smiling as she let her fangs disappear. "I know how to kill her once and for all."


	20. Chapter 20

Faith avoided everyone all night; sticking to sitting on the rooftops, chain smoking until she felt sick. Willow was a vampire now. A vampire. Just like her and Buffy. Willow tried to tell her what had happened, but she didn't want to listen to it. Everything felt unreal. She wanted to pinch herself until she woke up, but she knew it was no dream. Her entire body tensed when she felt Buffy climb out of the nearest window and sit down next to her.

"Faith, why have you been out here all night? It's raining and..."

"Needed to be alone," she said softly as she reached for the pack of cigarettes, nearly too wet to smoke and lit one, covering it with her hand as she took a long drag. "Don't even fucking start on me, B."

"What happened?"

"Nothing."

"Liar."

"I don't want to do this right now."

"Do what?"

"Argue with you," Faith sighed. "We're either fucking or fighting, never anything in between."

Buffy looked at her and shook her head as she moved in closer and wrapped her arms around her. "Something is bothering you, isn't it?"

"You think?"

"Talk to me, Faith."

"Saw Nadine earlier," she whispered, barely able to hear herself over the thunderous roar of the rain as it fell harder from the sky. "Told her to stay away from the girls."

"And?"

"Well, she wants us right? So I kind of offered us to her."

"What!" Buffy pulled away from Faith, angrier than Faith had seen her before. "Are you fucking kidding me? You can't just offer her that!"

"Doesn't matter, B. Willow is gonna take care of Nadine. She knows how to destroy her," Faith whispered as she looked at her. "It's all gonna be over soon."

Faith wanted to believe it herself, but she wasn't so sure she could. The things Willow said to her after revealing herself didn't quite sink in. She was in too much shock over the fact that Willow was now a vampire. She knew she shouldn't even be thinking about it, but Buffy was much too angry to pay attention to her thoughts. Faith couldn't take her eyes off of Buffy as they sat there in the rain. It hurt her to know there had been truth in her words; they were either fucking or fighting. With a sigh, Faith tossed the cigarette over the edge of the roof and stood up. She reached for Buffy's hands and pulled her up slowly.

"How?" Buffy asked softly as they climbed into the window. "How is Willow going to destroy Nadine?"

"Wasn't paying too much attention what she was telling me, B. I just know she is and she will."

Faith tried to walk out of the room, but Buffy stopped her and pulled her in close, circling her arms around her in a tight embrace. "Why can't you tell me what is really going on, Faith?"

"I can't."

"Why?"

"I promised I wouldn't," she replied shakily as she tried not to look at Buffy's darting eyes. "I promised, B."

"Who?"

"Willow," she whispered.

"I haven't seen her since we got here. Did something happen?" Buffy asked as she gently stroked Faith's back. "Baby, tell me."

"I can't, B."

Buffy groaned as she backed away from Faith and headed for the door. "Whatever. I'll figure out what the hell is going on sooner or later. Secrets in this place? Never tend to be kept a secret for very long."

Faith watched her leave the room and she waited a few minutes before she left and made her way to their room, not expecting Buffy to be in there, but she was. Unable to meet Buffy's eyes with her own, she stripped out of her wet clothes and made her way to the bathroom. A hot shower was the only thing on her mind, a hot shower to drown out everything she was thinking, everything that she was feeling. She stared at her reflection in the mirror as she waited for the water in the shower to run hot, unable to shake the feeling of guilt from her. She didn't know why she felt so guilty or what she was feeling guilty over.

Even if she and Buffy had been here when Willow got turned by Nadine, they would have been powerless to stop it from happening. It was bothering her because she knew the moment Buffy found out about Willow, nothing was going to be the same around there. With a deep breath, she fought off the tears and stepped into the shower, letting the hot water pierce her skin like a thousand tiny shards of glass. It felt good, relaxing and she relaxed even more when she felt Buffy step into the shower behind her and run her hands gently over her shoulders.

"I hate this. Feeling like no matter what we try to do, we can't ever just have one day of peace," Buffy whispered as she turned Faith around. "Maybe we should disappear for awhile. Maybe things will be better if we do?"

"B...I don't know if it can be that easy," Faith said softly as she looked down at her. "I wish it could be. I wish everything could be different, but I know now that it's fucking pointless to wish for anything. They never come true. Not for us, not for anybody."

Buffy only stared up at her and trailed her fingers lightly over her arms until their hands met. "Do you know what I wish for? I wish you'd just kiss me right now and forget about everything else."

"I can do that," Faith smiled as she let go of Buffy's hands and wrapped her arms around her as she stepped out from under the water. "That's a wish I can definitely make sure it comes true."

Their lips met eagerly and for that moment, the world slipped away just as Faith had wanted it to, had waited for. She knew it was Buffy that had saved her from herself and in ways only she could have. Trying to push out her thoughts and just really, truly become lost within the kiss, Faith backed her up against the cool tiled wall, deepening the kiss as Buffy ran her hands over her back and through her wet hair before coming to rest on the back of her neck, pulling her in closer. She kept it from going any further and with a sigh Buffy pulled away from the kiss, her eyes meeting with Faith and asking all the questions she couldn't say.

It had been like that throughout the weekend, barely any words had been said and everything they wanted to say they spoke with their eyes. Faith had never felt anything intense like that before and she knew it was because of the connection they shared, the love they had for each other. Love that grew deeper and stronger with every passing day. She kissed her once more, keeping it light and chaste before reaching for the nearest shampoo bottle. Buffy stood there, leaning against the cool tiled wall and watched her and every once in awhile she ran her tongue over her lips sensually, purring slightly as her eyes raked over her naked body. The lust was overpowering, like a drug, and Faith had to keep herself under control.

She was never one to turn away sex, especially not from Buffy, but there was just too much on her mind for her to fall into that haze. After they both showered and dressed, Buffy headed out for a quick late night patrol on her own and Faith wandered the halls throughout the castle. She wasn't sure where she was headed, she just needed to clear her head and work off a bit of built up energy. She stopped when she reached the training room, hearing a few girls working out inside and opened the door.

Andrea was in there with two other girls. They were sparring, laughing and having more fun than they probably should have been. Faith stood there in the doorway, watching as they threw careless punches and sloppy kicks. Faith stifled a laugh and that caused Andrea to look over at her as one of the girls, the taller blond, threw a punch directly at her head.

"Jesus!" Andrea groaned as she stumbled back. "Kelly, I wasn't looking! You can't just keep going when I'm not paying attention."

"What's the one thing I told you?" Faith asked as she walked over to them. "Never let your guard down, even for a second. If you were facing a vamp, you'd be on the ground and dead within a matter of minutes."

"Didn't expect to see you tonight," Andrea smirked as she pulled her hair out of the loose ponytail. "You and Buffy have a fight or something?"

"No," Faith shook her head as she walked over to the nearest punching bag, watching as the two girls walked out and left them in there alone. "Buffy went out on a quick patrol and I couldn't sleep. Worked up, you know and needed to let out a bit of steam."

"You know people are talking," Andrea said as she sat down on the mats near Faith and looked up at her. "They're talking about your little confrontation with Nadine earlier."

"How does anyone even know about that?"

"People are nosy and they do have eyes, Faith."

"Whatever. What are they saying?"

"Not much, just that you two were looking awfully close out at the edge of the forest earlier. What happened?"

"Nothing happened, really. I told her to stay away from everyone. She wants me and B, so I told her she could have us as long as she stayed away from everyone else."

"Is that it?"

"Yes," Faith nodded, keeping her voice from breaking and giving away the fact she was lying. "Far as I know, she'll stay away."

"You can't trust her."

"I know. Nobody can."

"Then why do you think she'll actually stay away?"

"Cos," Faith sighed as she stared at the worn punching bag in front of her for a moment before throwing a few solid punches. "It's under control. I don't want anyone to worry about it either. We're taking care of Nadine."

"We? You mean you and Buffy?"

"No," Faith shook her head. "Willow knows how to destroy her."

"Right, cos we all know how well the staking thing went last time," Andrea said as she rolled her eyes. "Why do you think she doesn't stay dust?"

"Who the fuck knows?"

"She's more powerful than anyone realizes, isn't she?"

Faith nodded as she sat down on the mats across from Andrea. "She is. We don't know why either. All I know is Willow knows and she's going to take care of it."

"Uh huh," Andrea sighed. "Faith, you do know I know when you aren't telling me everything."

"How do you figure that?"

"Cos I'm your sister. I can read through that mask you've put up."

"What mask?"

"That one," she said as if it was plain as day. "The whole mask you put up when you try to keep everyone out and in this case, when you are trying to keep a secret. What's going on?"

"Nothing."

"You haven't even told Buffy, have you?"

"No and I won't be telling you either."

They sat there in silence, neither of them looking at one another, but Faith could read every single one of Andrea's thoughts. She had to bite her tongue to keep from asking her why she thought there was something going on between her and Nadine. That was just something she didn't want to keep falling into. She knew no matter how she tried to tell Andrea or anyone else that nothing was going on, it'd be pointless. Nadine had already gotten to a couple of the girls and they were still under her thrall, believing only what Nadine wanted them to believe.

"Nothing is ever easy, is it?" Andrea asked as she broke the silence. "This life, it's never going to be easy is it?"

"No."

"Sucks," she sighed as she laid back on the mat. "Do you ever think it could change? That we could wipe out all the evil that roams the earth and just live like normal people?"

"No, that's never going to happen, Andy. There's just too much bad in this world and the worlds beyond this one. It's like you can kill hundreds and thousands of demons and yet there are always twice as many waiting to come out of the shadows. It's a vicious cycle that'll never end."

"Maybe you're wrong?"

"Nah, it's just a common fact. Hey, I want it to be over and done with as much as the next person, but we all know that it isn't going to be that way. Ever."

"Kind of sobering, isn't it?"

"Very."

"You want to spar for awhile? Those girls don't have anything compared to you. It's never any fun," Andrea said with a smile as she stood up. "Come on, Faith. I know you are just itching to spar and work out some of the pent up frustration you have going through you right now."

"How do you know I'm frustrated?"

"I can feel it," Andrea said as she reached down for Faith's hand and pulled her to her feet. "Sister thing."

"Right," Faith rolled her eyes and was unable to hide the smirk as Andrea raised an eyebrow at her. "Okay, it's a sister thing. Happy?"

"Never."

"Figures," Faith laughed as they began to circle each other. "You are too much like me it's starting to scare the shit out of me."

"Why?"

"Cos I don't want you to end up the way I did."

"Oh, you mean when you went all evil and tried to kill Buffy and her friends?" Andrea asked and immediately looked like she wanted to take it back. "I'm sorry I..."

"No, don't apologize. It's over and done with and yeah, I don't want to see you end up that way. The darkness is tempting to give into and one wrong slip and..."

"And I'll fall into it and not be able to pull myself out. I know. Giles talked to me about it over the weekend."

"He did?"

"Yes. I was asking him a few things about you."

Faith groaned as Andrea threw a rather solid punch and she barely managed to react and duck out of the way. "What were you asking him exactly?"

"Some things you wouldn't talk about," Andrea shrugged. "I probably shouldn't have, but I couldn't help myself. I'm curious, you know?"

"Curiosity killed the cat."

"But I'm not a cat."

"No," Faith laughed as she moved quickly and got Andrea in a head lock hold. "You definitely aren't."

"Faith," she groaned as she tried to break free. "Let go."

"Hurting you?"

"No," she sighed as she tried to break free of the hold. "Just...wanna...kick your...ass."

"Love to see you try."

"Let go of me and I'll do just that!"

Faith laughed as she let go of her, taking a couple of steps back, readying herself for whatever Andrea was about to throw her way. She stopped when she felt something was wrong. Andrea sighed and looked at her, puzzled as to why her smile suddenly faded. Faith shook her head and took off, climbing out the nearest window and running as fast as she could towards the forest. Whatever she was feeling told her Buffy was in trouble and she had to get there as fast as she could. She fought back the sinking feeling that she was too late as she came to the small castle and scaled over the wall effortlessly. She was about to enter the castle when she felt a hand grab onto her arm and pull her away from the window.

"Buffy?" Faith looked at her, confused. "What the hell...I thought..."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Buffy asked softly.

"Tell you what?"

"That Nadine turned Willow?"

"Is she..."

"She's inside right now. I saw her leaving the castle when I was coming back from patrol and I followed her here. Jesus, Faith...if you knew about this, why couldn't you just tell me?"

"I promised her I wouldn't."

"Why?"

"Cos, B. She didn't want anyone to know!"

"If you saw what I saw tonight..."

Faith turned to look at her, seeing the fear in her eyes as the tears began to fall. "What did you see, B? Tell me!"

"I saw her and Nadine..." Buffy's voice trailed off as she shuddered. "They were...fucking..."

"Okay," Faith laughed softly. "I can see how seeing your best friend fucking the enemy could be traumatizing..."

"Don't you get it? Why would she be doing that if she isn't on her side? When I was...seeing Nadine, it never went that far. Willow isn't going to help us, Faith."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I heard them talking before they...you know..." Buffy shuddered as she tried to erase the images from her mind. "She knows how to destroy Nadine, but she has no intention of doing it!"

"Maybe she's playing Nadine's little game? Getting her right where she wants her before she dusts the bitch once and for all?"

"No," Buffy said as she shook her head. "She's not playing Nadine's game. Nadine is playing hers."

"I'm confused, B. What the fuck is really going on?" Faith asked sharply as she forced Buffy to look at her. "Fine, if you aren't going to tell me I am gonna go inside and find out myself."

Faith didn't let Buffy stop her and she climbed inside the window, listening carefully as her boots hit the floor with a rather loud thud. When she heard nothing but the soft moans coming from a room upstairs, she began to move through the twist of rooms that lead to the stairs. She tried to keep her cool as she neared the top of the stairs, but it was proving nearly impossible to. Willow had lied to her, sort of and she almost didn't want to know why, almost didn't want to see it with her own eyes. It was like a car wreck, you couldn't stop watching even after it was over and there was nothing left but a pile of mangled, twisted metal.

She stopped before the same door where she had found Buffy before. She listened as she heard the breathy sighs coming from Nadine and the nearly animalistic moans coming from Willow. It was definitely not something she could have prepared to hear and as she slowly opened the door just enough to steal a glance inside, she wished she hadn't. Willow had Nadine spread over the bed and she was drinking from the inside of her thigh. If it wasn't the two of them, Faith would have found the site before her quite erotic. It was the opposite and she felt sick as she quietly backed away from the door.

Not wanting to deal with this now, not with a powerful vampire and a witch who probably had more strength than all of them, she made her way back outside and found Buffy still out there, waiting for her. Faith couldn't find the words in her and she didn't need to. The look on her face explained exactly how she felt about what she'd just seen. Buffy tenderly wrapped her arms around her and kissed her on her forehead, letting her lips linger as they breathed out slowly.

"I...god...that was disturbing," Faith muttered as she tried to laugh it off. "God, Ken is gonna flip when she finds out about this."

"You didn't see her, did you?"

"What?"

"Kennedy was in there when I went in before."

"Are you fucking kidding me, B?"

"I'm not."

"Jesus fuck," Faith groaned as she scaled over the wall and as soon as her feet hit the ground Buffy landed right next to her. "What the hell is going on? I thought Nadine wanted us?"

"She does," Buffy sighed as they both looked back up at the castle. "But, now she wants Willow and Kennedy."

"This is too fucked up, even for me. Think it's still too late to get up and walk away from this?"

"We can't as much as we want to you know we can't, Faith."

"We need to call Giles."

"No!" Buffy said as she stopped her from walking too far ahead of her. "We can't tell anyone until we figure out what the hell is going on here."

"Buffy, we don't even know what the hell is going on. Nothing is making any fucking sense! God, sometimes I wish..."

"What?"

Faith didn't want to say it, but with her anger getting to the best of her it just came out. "I wish sometimes you never came to see me in LA."

"Is that how you feel?" Buffy asked her voice icy cold as she stopped walking. "Seriously, Faith? Is that how you feel?"

"No, Buffy..."

"You said it, means you've thought about it once or twice."

"Buffy...stop it. I didn't mean it like you think I did."

"And how did you mean it? Because really there is only one way to take what you've said."

"I mean, if you hadn't come to see me in LA, I wouldn't have gone out and got shitfaced in that bar and I would have never run into Eddie and this, this shit with Nadine, wouldn't be happening right now! That's what I fucking meant!"

Buffy just shook her head and continued walking back to the castle, ignoring Faith's attempts to get her to stop and listen to her. She gave up, allowing Buffy to take the lead and the distance between them grew further and further apart. She wanted to cry and as she closed her eyes, she felt the tears come pouring out.

"Always fuck up everything," she muttered to herself as she tried to wipe away the tears as they fell. "God, I'm such a fuck up!"

"You aren't," Buffy said from ahead of her as she stopped to look back at her. "You just say some fucked up shit sometimes, that's all."

Buffy slowly approached her, her own anger diminishing as she saw the tears streaming down Faith's cheeks. She held her, not saying a word as she let Faith cry in her arms. After awhile, they continued the walk back to the castle and as it came into view, Faith pulled away from her and tried to stop the tears that just wouldn't stop pouring out.

"Faith," Buffy sighed as she leaned in and kissed her lightly. "Why are you crying, baby?"

"I fuck everything up. I say fucked up shit and look where it gets me."

"Where?" Buffy asked as she raised an eyebrow. "Look, I don't want to be mad at you. There's just so much going on right now that neither of us are thinking clearly. Whatever is going on with Willow, we'll figure it out and before you ask, no I do not know why Kennedy is there. She just is."

"What if we can't?"

"What?"

"What if we can't figure it out, B?"

"We will, Faith. I know we will."

"How can you be so sure?"

"You want to know why?" Buffy sighed as they stopped before they reached the doors. "Because I am sure I love you and when one is sure of the love they have for another, nothing is impossible and nothing can stand in their way."

"And how are you so sure you love me?"

"Let's see, there's that thing you do with your tongue that drives me insane," Buffy said with a salacious smile. "Then there's the way you hold me when we bask in the afterglow. Then there are the words you whisper into my ear when you don't think I'm awake and listening. Then there is the fact that every time my heart beats, it beats for you. Is that enough for you, or do you want more?"

"Why don't we go up to our room and you can show me," Faith laughed as the mood between them changed almost instantly.

Not bothering to sort through the torrent of emotions or the situation that was currently unfolding, Faith focused on trying to get them up to their room without putting on a show for any of the younger slayers that were still awake. It was impossible for her to keep her hands and lips off of Buffy and she found herself shoved up against the wall when they reached the top of the stairs. With every kiss, every small moan, every touch, the image of Willow and Nadine disappeared from her mind and the rest of the world around them followed.

She was used to long, sleepless nights and tonight would be no different. She could tell by the way Buffy kept kissing her, by the way Buffy's nails lightly trailed over her back under her shirt.

"B, let's take this to the bedroom," Faith whispered against her lips as she pulled away from her. "Don't give me that look."

"What look?"

"The pout you always stick out whenever you don't get your way."

Buffy pouted again, trying not to smile as Faith pointed to it then quickly leaned in and captured her lower lip with her own. The sound of footsteps coming up the stairs pulled them apart and they both looked at the intruder with wide eyes.

"Will?"

"What are you two doing up?" Willow asked, her voice lacking emotion as she ran her fingers through her tousled hair. "I thought everyone would have been in bed by now."

"We were just making our way there," Faith said as she kept her eyes on Buffy, finding it impossible to even look at Willow.

"And you kind of got preoccupied with devouring Buffy in the process?" Willow laughed. "You two, I swear...it's like you never stop."

"No, we don't. So if you don't mind," Faith said harshly as she waved Willow away. "We'd like a bit of privacy."

"It's a hallway, Faith. You won't get any privacy here."

"Come on," Buffy whispered as she took Faith's hand in hers. "Let's just go to our room."

"What, no 'goodnight, Willow'? What did I do?" Willow asked, laughing as she walked away.

"God, she's turned into a bitch," Buffy whispered under her breath. "Did you see Kennedy?"

"No," Faith said softly as she shook her head and they watched Willow walk down the hallway to her room. "You think she's still with Nadine?"

"Possibly."

"Should we..."

"I thought we were..."

"Buffy, if Nadine turns Kennedy, we don't have a chance in hell at killing that bitch. You and I both know that. She's got Willow under some kind of spell."

"You mean thrall."

"No," Faith shook her head. "It's stronger than that. It's definitely a spell and we need to find a way to break it. We can't let her just take Willow from us."

"Huh," Buffy sighed as they reached their room. "You never call her Willow. You always call her Red."

"So, I always call you B or Buffy, what difference does it make?"

Faith let go of her hand and headed back for the stairs, ignoring her as she practically begged her to leave it alone for the night. Faith couldn't leave it alone. If Nadine had got to Willow and Kennedy, who knew who she'd end up going after next. Faith wasn't going to let this happen to the people she pretty much considered family now. There was no way in hell she'd let that happen and being more determined than ever, she took off for the castle Nadine was staying on, barely stopping to breathe until she reached the wall and climbed over.

The castle was dark, quieter than the dead, but Faith knew Nadine was still in there. She could feel her. It crawled over her skin, luring out the darkness inside of her. With a deep breath, she climbed in through the window and made her way up to the room she knew she'd find Nadine in. It was dark, but she could hear the soft cries coming through the door before she even reached it. Slowly, she opened the door and found the room nearly empty and Kennedy lying on the floor at the foot of the bed, holding her knees to her chest as she cried.

"Ken," Faith said softly as she knelt down next to her. "You okay?"

"She almost killed me," Kennedy whispered tearfully as she looked up at Faith in the darkness. "Willow didn't let her and she left. She left me here with her!"

"Where is Nadine?"

"I don't know," Kennedy sobbed as her entire body started to shake. "I don't know. She left me in here after Willow walked out. Faith, can you get me out of here?"

Faith scanned the room and found Kennedy's clothes piled near the wardrobe. She got up and tossed them to her, examining the room a little bit while Kennedy quickly pulled her clothes on. She made sure Kennedy got out of the castle and was over the wall before she went back inside and searched the rooms for Nadine.

"Come out, come out wherever you are," Faith called out, laughing as the sadistic tone in her voice as she approached the last door on the top floor. "I know you're in there, bitch."

"Come and get me," Nadine called out almost seductively as Faith kicked down the door. "About time. I was thinking you'd never come."

Faith walked over to where she sat on the plush leather chair in front of the unlit fireplace. "What the fuck do you think you are doing? Is this another one of your fucked up games, Nadine?"

"It's always a game, Faithy. You don't live forever without finding ways to entertain yourself."

"I want you to leave my friends alone," she hissed through her teeth as she grabbed onto Nadine's wrists and made sure she wouldn't get up from the chair. "Tell me what it is you fucking want. Is it me? Is it Buffy? Tell me!"

Nadine shoved her away, laughing at the confused and angered look on Faith's face as she picked herself up from the floor. Moving quickly, Nadine had her pinned to the wall, her hands wrapped tightly around her neck as her nearly black eyes bore deeply into Faith's.

"I want you and the other slayer. I just thought I'd pick up a few playthings along the way. Now, Faithy. I believe it's time I showed you just what kind of games I like to play."


	21. Chapter 21

The darkness of the room covered her like an unwanted security blanket. She was restrained and feeling weak. With no idea how long she'd been there, she didn't know the last time she'd fed. She could feel herself withering away with every minute that passed. Straining, she opened her eyes and tried to see through the thick darkness of the room. The full moon shone through the open window, illuminating a row of knives laid out on the table. A chill ran through her body as her memories came back to an almost familiar scene.

Nadine walked into the room, lighting a few candles as she made her way over to the table. With a click of her tongue she picked up a small dagger and walked over to where Faith lay restrained on the bed. Nadine's eyes raked over Faith's body, her tongue licking her lips slowly as she ran the tip of the blade over Faith's arm.

"Now, are you going to play the game?" Nadine asked as she pressed the cool blade into the skin just above her wrist. "Or are you going to be a little bitch and refuse?"

"I'll play it then," Faith responded weakly. "If I do, you'll let me go?"

"That was the deal."

"Do it," Faith groaned as she closed her eyes.

Faith ignored the pain shooting through her entire body with every small cut Nadine made. It was a sadistic game of torture and she held back her screams, not giving in completely to Nadine and her little 'game'. This was no game. This was the works of a crazed psychopath vampire who wanted nothing but to cause pain in her own kind in the only way that wouldn't kill them. The thoughts of wanting to be dead rather than here, tied to a bed with Nadine purring and cutting her lingered only until she thought of Buffy, of the others, of Giles and of Andrea. She had to be strong, put up with the torture until she could get out of the game and leave.

It was foolish for her to think that Nadine would just let her walk away, but she had to hold onto a fraction of a hope that Nadine wasn't as crazy as she was appearing to be and that she would be true to her word.

"You taste better than the other slayer and much better than the witch," Nadine nearly purred as she licked at the wounds she'd made on Faith's arms. "I wonder why that is."

"Cos I've had evil in me," Faith moaned out weakly. "Isn't that what you said before?"

"Right," Nadine laughed as she moved to straddle Faith's hips. "The witch had a big, powerful darkness inside of her once before, but I have to tell you, Faithy...it doesn't even come close to yours."

"That was..." Faith gasped out as Nadine pressed the blade into the skin just over her breasts, just above the top of her shirt. "A long time ago."

"Not that long ago," Nadine said with a smirk as she bent down and trailed her tongue over the shallow cut. "You know redemption means shit to me. You haven't redeemed yourself. You've just suppressed it deep down inside of you. One little thing is all it's going to take to draw it out again."

"Nothing is gonna bring it out of me," Faith said softly.

"You think love is going to keep it away? You think your precious Buffy is going to keep you from falling into your darkness again? Nuh uh, Faithy. If there's one thing I've learned in all the years I've been in this world is that love doesn't conquer all. The darkness always wins. There is good and then there is evil, and you will never be of the good no matter how much you try to convince yourself and everyone around you."

Faith closed her eyes as Nadine got off of her and walked back over to the table. She opened her eyes just enough to see her lick the blade of the small dagger clean before she placed it back down in its spot. Her body recovered rather quickly despite how weak she was and she strained against the ropes and chains that held her firmly to the bed. She shuddered as she thought of being found like this by Buffy and then she had to wonder why she hadn't come for her yet.

"After your last blackout," Nadine started out slowly as she made her way back to the bed. "I had to take you somewhere else where your precious Buffy wouldn't think to look for you. Don't worry though. The witch knows where you are."

"She..."

"It was her idea," Nadine laughed, the shrillness of it chilling Faith to the core. "Who knew the little witch would be so willing to turn on her friends like that. See, Faithy, I like it when people play the games my way."

"Fuck you."

"Was that an invitation or a request?"

"Neither," Faith responded bitterly. "How much longer do I have to play this fucked up game of yours?"

"We've only just begun," Nadine said as she picked up a dagger slightly bigger than the last one and ran her fingertips over the sharp tip. Faith winced slightly as Nadine approached the bed and with a wry laugh, Nadine stared down at her, knife still in her hand. "What's the matter? I thought you liked playing with sharp things?"

"I do, on disgusting bitches like you and not in the way you've been using them on me," Faith groaned out as she felt the cool tip of the blade being pressed into the side of her neck.

"Idle threats don't work on me," Nadine whispered as she leaned in and replaced the knife with her fangs. "I could drain you, you realize that? You wouldn't be able to stop me."

"Then why don't you?"

"Nah, what fun would that be?"

Faith kept quiet after that, knowing anything she said would only provoke Nadine to go one step too far too fast. She had to keep what little strength she had inside of her to hold on and last out as long as she possibly could. Faith hadn't realized she'd blacked out, again, until she opened her eyes to the bright sunlight pouring in the open window. She was still restrained to the bed, but the table with the assortment of knives was no longer in the small, dusty room.

She lifted her head and tried to examine most of the cuts Nadine had given her, finding them already healed, most of them gone. A few of the deeper ones were just a faint red line, looking nothing more than a scratch now. Her mouth was dry and as she licked her lips, it tasted bitter. Like death. Wave after wave of nausea hit her as she tried to breathe steadily, the dust in the air making it hard to take deep breaths. As soon as she got the nausea under control she could only faintly hear voices coming from a room beneath her.

"It won't be long before Buffy finds her," Faith could hear Willow say and she felt her anger bubbling in her veins at the coldness of Willow's voice. "We'll have to move her. Again."

"I thought you told me this place was safe, kitten?"

Faith cringed at Nadine's pet name for Willow. It caused those images of that night to come back and she couldn't push them out of her head as easily as she would have liked to. She kept her eyes closed as she heard the two of them walk up a set of stairs and towards the room. Willow walked in first and when Faith felt her near her, she opened her eyes and saw the Willow she knew staring back at her, not the Willow she'd seen before.

"Will..."

"Shh, just play along, okay?" Willow said quickly and quietly as she turned around to face Nadine as she strolled into the room.

Faith didn't know what the hell was going on. Was everything before just an act for Willow? She didn't think she had it in her to play Nadine's game and in turn, playing it against her with a game of her own. Faith knew she'd seriously underestimated Willow and then she couldn't help but think of Kennedy. Did Kennedy know Willow was putting on an act or did she think it was real? Willow turned to look at her, shaking her head slightly and giving her a look to stop thinking. Faith tried, knowing Nadine probably heard her thoughts as clearly as Willow had.

"She's a little delusional," Willow laughed as Nadine slowly approached the bed. "What did you expect? You've had her chained up here for days without being fed."

"That isn't part of the game."

"Then make it part of the game or I am not playing," Willow said with a coy smile as she held her hands behind her back so only Faith could see the slight twirl of her fingers. "Go and bring up the little snack I brought with me."

As soon as Nadine was safely out of the room, Willow finished her spell that undid the ropes and chains and helped Faith off the bed. "What the fuck, Red?"

"I'll explain later. There's no time."

"What the fuck?" Faith repeated, needing some answers as to what the hell was going on.

"Faith, please. Just get out of here before she comes back. There's only one way out and if you keep following the path it'll lead you home. Now go!"

Willow was blocking the door and motioned for her to climb out the window. Before Faith could protest, she found herself already on the roof and looking down at the ground at least a good twenty feet below. She took a breath and hoped to hell she wasn't too weak to land safely and took the plunge. She landed hard, but she was okay. She stumbled on shaky legs as she walked from the abandoned house through the small clearing. She looked around nervously until she found the pathway that Willow had briefly mentioned. She glanced up at the house, stopping as a bright red glow emanated from the room she'd just been in.

She felt a little more at ease, almost as if whatever control Nadine had over her had been lifted as the light faded from red to white and then disappeared completely. She no longer had the strength to continue and she fell back onto the cool tall grass, sighing out softly as the strong pull of sleep washed over her.

****

Buffy paced the hallway by the medic ward, anxious for Giles to finish talking to Faith alone. It had been three days since she'd come back and in those three days Willow told her everything that happened. Well, almost everything. She still couldn't believe that Willow would go off after Nadine, alone and unprepared. Willow did have a plan and part of that plan was for her to find Nadine's weakness one way or another. After much apologizing and explaining, Buffy forgave her and tried to help her get back into Kennedy's good graces.

Kennedy was a little harder to break. She didn't know what to believe and after awhile and a lot of tears shed by her and Willow, they came to terms and Kennedy told her that one day she'd forgive her for what happened when Willow had forced her to come to see Nadine with her that night.

Still, there were a lot of things that hadn't been explained. Willow said as soon as Faith was back to feeling herself, or as much as herself as she could, she'd tell them how she defeated Nadine once and for all. Buffy of course had heard a few rumours floating around the castle, but she knew not to believe a word of them. Only Faith had been there and she'd been sleeping until that morning, refusing to talk to anyone until she'd spoken with Giles first.

"Is she going to be okay?" Andrea asked as she slowly approached Buffy in the hallway. "I'm getting kind of worried about her."

"You didn't hear? She woke up this morning."

"Oh. What are you doing out here then?"

"She wanted to talk to Giles first before she saw anyone else," Buffy said with a heavy sigh. "He's been in there for hours. What the hell could they be talking about?"

"Who knows? They used to do that a lot back in Cleveland. They'd just sit out in the backyard and talk for hours on an end. Couple of times I tried to listen in on their conversation, but Faith wouldn't have it and threatened to kick my ass so good I wouldn't be able to walk for a month."

Buffy laughed as she stopped pacing and took a seat on the bench just outside the doors. "They've gotten close, haven't they?"

"Yeah," Andrea nodded as she took a seat on the bench next to her. "With all the crazy stuff that's been going on, I think she just needs someone that's not exactly in it all to listen to her."

"I guess so."

"You are jealous," Andrea stated as she raised an eyebrow in a way that was so much like the way Faith did. "You are jealous because they are close like you had been before."

"I'm not jealous!"

"You so are."

"What do you know? You haven't been in the circle that long."

"Long enough. A year training here and the last three months in Cleveland with them is plenty long enough to know exactly how things are. Plus, I've heard stories."

"From who?"

"Some of the girls that have been here a lot longer than myself," Andrea chuckled softly. "Don't worry. I was being nosy and got it out of them. But, you know something, Buffy? None of that matters. The past...it should stay there. I'm not saying forgive and forget, but just let go. You've done it with Faith and I think you need to do it with yourself too."

"I..."

"Think about it, Buffy. Why do you think all this bad shit keeps on happening?"

"Because I can't get over the past?"

"Who knows? Could be a big part of it."

"Are you sure you are related to Faith?" Buffy laughed as she playfully nudged Andrea with her shoulder.

"Should I take offense to that?"

"No," Buffy said quickly. "Just that...I...never mind. You're too wise for someone so young. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Once or twice," Andrea shrugged. "When you spend a lot of time with yourself you begin to see everything else nobody tends to notice. I see things I'd rather not see or know about, you know?"

Buffy nodded, trying to understand what Andrea was trying to say to her. Giles walked out of the ward with a rather solemn smile on his face as he approached them and took a seat next to Buffy on the bench. He didn't look at her and waited until Andrea had left the two of them alone.

"How is she feeling?"

"Better. She's rested and uh, fed. She'll be fine."

"You two sure spent a long time talking."

"We did. We talked about a lot of things. I helped her see why she shouldn't give up so easily."

"Give up?"

"Not what you think, Buffy. She's strong. You and I both know that. The responsibility of being a slayer is a huge burden to carry. You know that all too well," Giles said softly as he turned to her. "She wants a break. She doesn't want to run away from her responsibilities completely, but sort of divulge into a period of semi-retirement."

"Oh."

"And we both agreed you needed a break as well," he finished with a warm smile. "I know that starting out your semi-retirement in Cleveland might not be the best place to start, but she has uh, plans and she needs to be there to make them happen."

"What kind of plans?" Buffy's curiosity was piqued now as she hung on his every word. "Giles, tell me."

With a soft chuckle he stood up and looked down at her. "I believe it involves a Harley and a very long road-trip."

Buffy laughed as she stood up and hugged him. "Don't know what we'd do without you, Giles."

"Well, you did get along quite fine without me before," he chuckled softly. "All in the past, isn't it not?"

"Yeah. Definitely."

"Now, Faith wants to talk to you about all of this and as soon as you two have finished, I believe there is a rather important meeting to have. I'm rather curious to hear about how Willow managed to defeat Nadine and I believe," Giles said as he glanced at his watch. "Angel should be arriving shortly to find out as well."

Buffy waited until Giles left the hallway before she walked into the medic ward and found Faith lying in the bed furthest from the window, her eyes on the small TV next to the bed as an old black and white movie played. Buffy smiled a little as she approached the bed and sat down, reaching out for Faith's hand as their eyes met.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better," Faith said dryly as she reached for the remote and flipped off the TV. "Giles tell you what we talked about?"

"Little bit, yeah."

"What do you think? You and me, riding around the country on a Harley?"

"Could be fun," Buffy smiled as she lay down on the small bed next to her and ran her fingers over her stomach. "Do you even know how to drive one of those things?"

"Gonna learn," Faith laughed. "Could be fun, you know?"

"Mm-hmm."

"B?"

"Yeah?"

"Did Willow tell you how she..."

"Not yet. We're going to go have a meeting real soon. She was waiting for you to feel better before she told us."

"Don't see how that matters. She could have just told you guys then told me later."

"Guess she wants everyone to find out at the same time. I swear I'll kill her if it's something pathetic like she used some sort of spell on her and made her go all kaplooey."

Faith laughed a deep, throaty chuckle as she pulled Buffy so their lips were mere inches apart. "I'm sure it's more interesting than that, B. Glad that bitch got what she deserved. The last thing we needed was some psychotic super vamp doing nothing but ruin and control our lives."

They laid there for awhile, just holding onto one another before Buffy helped Faith into some clean clothes and they joined the others in the study. Angel stood off to the side as the Scoobs and a few of the younger slayers took their seats. Willow looked around at everyone and began pacing, looking a little nervous at first until Angel sat down on the edge of the desk and nodded for her to start.

"How'd you kill the bitch?" Andrea blurted out before Willow could begin to speak.

"A spell," Willow replied.

"Damn," Buffy sighed under her breath as she looked over at Faith as she chuckled softly. "I knew it."

"I had to almost drain her dry before I could do it," Willow continued, ignoring Buffy as she smiled proudly. "In some ways, Nadine turning me ended up working out for our benefit. But this spell, I had spoken with a couple members of the coven and after I revealed myself to them, we figured out exactly how to do it."

"Just had to become a sexy little vamp to do it," Faith laughed and winced as Buffy jabbed her in the ribs. "What the hell was that for, B?"

"You just called her sexy."

"So?"

"So!" Buffy pouted as she crossed her arms over her chest then became fully aware that all eyes were on her. "What? So I'm jealous. Big deal."

"I'm curious about this spell," Angel spoke up as Willow spun around to look at him. "You don't plan on using it again, do you?"

"When we find Christopher and Laurence, yes. It seems they might not be as strong as Nadine, but they cannot be dusted in the...normal way," Willow said, fumbling with the last couple of words as she looked away from Angel.

"Hey Red," Faith said as she rubbed her still sore ribs. "What was with that light thing I saw?"

"Part of what was left of Nadine's soul being destroyed," she replied with a smile. "Quite a sight and such a rush, really."

"So, it was just that easy? All it took was a spell?" Dawn spoke up as she walked in and the room fell quiet at her sudden arrival. "Here I was hoping for some explosion of some kind, something exciting."

"Oh Dawnie, you should have seen it. There was an explosion, of sorts," Willow chuckled. "Nice to see you decided to come back."

"Yeah, you know, figured I had to let bygones be bygones, or whatever," she shrugged as she looked over at Buffy and Faith. "Buffy, I'm sorry. For everything."

Buffy only nodded as she linked her fingers with Faith's, not bothering to move as Dawn walked over and sat next to her on the couch. She threw her arms around Buffy and hugged her tight and when she pulled away, she looked over at Faith, studying her reaction before she leaned over and hugged her too.

"Ease up, squirt," Faith laughed as Dawn let go. "Guess that was your way of telling me you're sorry too?"

"Yeah, it is."

Most of the people gathered in the room began to leave, most of them mumbling under their breaths how they'd expected so much more. Buffy tried to hold back her laughter as she left Dawn and Faith on the couch, the two of them talking and finally hashing out their differences. She felt like she was there yet she wasn't at the same time. The atmosphere in the room was light, everyone was happy...overjoyed at the fact that Nadine was no longer a threat to any of them. Buffy walked past Giles and Angel, smiling at them as they stared at her. She stopped when she reached the window and looked outside, the moonlight dancing over the courtyard almost mesmerizing her.

She kept looking back at Faith, smiling as she watched her and Dawn joke around, finally getting along with one another. Xander walked up next to her and placed a hand on her shoulder and when their eyes met, he could only smile and then sob softly as he pulled her in for a tight hug.

"I can't believe you're leaving."

"Just for a little while, Xander."

"It won't be the same around here without you," he whispered. "I'm going to miss you, Buffster."

"I'm going to miss you too."

Xander composed himself, wiping at his eye as he fixed a semi-permanent goofy smile on his face. "Isn't it surreal? Everything finally feels like it's going to be okay now."

"It really does, doesn't it?" Buffy laughed as she looked around the room at those closest to her heart. "Maybe now we'll all finally get a chance to feel free, happy, before the next big bad comes around and decides to wreak havoc on our lives and we'll have to save the world. Again."

"This time though," he said softly. "I think it was more about saving us. Saving you and saving Faith."

Buffy thought about it for a moment before realizing he was right about everything. Rather than give him the satisfaction of saying it, she gave him a quick hug and walked back over to the couch and sat down next to Faith. Everything in the last couple of months flooded her mind as she ran her fingers lightly through Faith's hair as she continued to joke around with Dawn. Despite it all, her going to LA to see Faith had been the one right decision she'd ever made even though, in the beginning, it hadn't worked out quite as she'd hoped. Everything that happened from that point on all happened for a reason.

She had to save herself and Faith from the inevitable darkness that was in both of them, always waiting for that right moment to creep out and take over them. They'd always been standing on an edge, whether it was of their own darkness, their own self-destruction or the unknown, but at least now Buffy knew she'd be ready for whatever would come their way. They did have an eternity ahead of them and there'd be plenty of obstacles always threatening to bring them down.

"Love conquers all," Faith whispered as she leaned in and gave her a light kiss. "Never forget that."

"I won't."

****

Faith sat on the shallow rooftops for what she had a feeling would be the last time she'd be able to in a very long time. It'd be a couple hours before the sun would rise and she was using this moment to sit there alone and think about all the things that had happened over the last couple of months while the others sat around in the kitchen and drank and laughed and talked about what the future had in store for all of them.

"Did you want to be alone?" Angel asked as he stood near the window behind her. "Or could I come out there and talk?"

"About what?"

"Everything. How you are feeling and what you really think about what happened to Nadine."

Faith laughed as Angel climbed out and sat next to her. "Kind of expected more to happen with Willow destroying her and all, you know? In a way she just went poof with some weird light show."

"You didn't see it the way she did. Willow conjured some very powerful magic, some of the darkest she has reached in a long time."

"She played a game with all of us, Angel. I kind of wondered if she was, I mean hello, it's Willow. No matter how far she lets her own darkness drag her in, she's still on our side, on Buffy's side."

Angel nodded and stared at her intensely as she did all she could to avoid looking at her. "I wanted to tell you before about Andrea. Nobody knew how you'd take it and at the time, when we all found out, we weren't even sure if she was your half-sister."

"What made you so sure she was?"

"Blood tests."

Faith raised an eyebrow as she looked over at him. "How? I never gave any of my...oh."

"Yeah. Oh," Angel chuckled. "You keep forgetting that there is a medical record for you complete with all the information we needed including DNA samples. The old Council really kept an extensive record. It was through those files that we learned about Andrea."

"When you say we..."

"I mean Giles and myself. We told Buffy when Andrea came here to begin her training."

"Right," Faith sighed. "The whole Andrea thing kind of threw me for a loop, you know? Never in a million years did I ever think I'd have a sister. Thought my parents figured they had enough on their hands already with me and besides, they never really had your typical loving relationship. Figures this is what ends up coming out of it."

Angel already knew pieces of her childhood from some of their talks years before. Faith hated talking about her childhood, but she'd told Angel all that she was comfortable in saying out loud one night, shortly before she started with her disappearing act. Angel knew things Buffy didn't even know and Faith wasn't sure how to feel about that. She didn't know why she felt more open with Angel when it should be that way with Buffy. With a heavy sigh she lit a cigarette and leaned back against the stone wall.

If anyone understood the way she was without asking questions, it was Angel. He could read her better than anyone else ever could and even the emotions she thought she never showed he'd always seen.

"What are you planning to do once you leave?"

"Go back to Cleveland for awhile, get my license and take B on a little road trip around the country."

"You'll come down to LA and visit?"

"Of course," Faith laughed. "Couldn't do a road trip without going to LA at least once."

"Right," Angel nodded as they both laughed until it almost hurt. "How is it we get along so well?"

"I was gonna ask you the same thing. Tortured souls or something along that line? Wasn't that something you said to me years ago?"

"I believe so yes."

"Angel?"

"Yes, Faith?"

"I never got to thank you for everything you did for me before. For all the shit you helped me get through."

"I think Buffy helped you a little more in ways I never could," he chuckled softly and when Faith saw the look he gave her she punched him in the shoulder. "I'm not talking about what you think I am. She saved you from the pull of the darkness inside of you and you saved her from her own. I had a feeling years ago you two were meant to be together and now I know for sure that you should be together."

"Uh...did we break up or something?" Faith laughed uneasily as she tried to understand what Angel had just told her.

"What I meant was, you two should have been together before this whole...vampire incident happened."

"Know of any kind of time machine I can hop into and go back to let's say, seven or eight years ago and change the way everything went?"

"Nope."

"Not even one that can take me back a couple of months and prevent the whole...vampire incident from happening?" Faith asked, laughing humorously as she looked away from him when he finally caught her eyes with his own. "Didn't think so."

"Everything happens for a reason, Faith. You know that as well as I do. I think things between you and Buffy needed the amount of time it had taken. If it happened years ago I don't think it would have worked out for you two."

"What do you mean?"

"She wasn't ready for you then, the intensity of what you can offer to her. Your love is different than anyone else's, Faith. You love her with more than just your heart, more than just your soul. It's intense. It's real. And it's not going anywhere."

"Better not," Faith laughed as she looked up at the sky, watching as the very first tiny rays of sunlight began to appear. "Damn, didn't think it was so close to morning."

"It's not," Angel replied as he pulled out the small pocket watch and checked the time. "Maybe it is. I should get inside. Not all of us are as fortunate as you and Buffy to still retain the ability to walk about unharmed during the day."

"Jealous?"

"Maybe just a little," Angel laughed as he reached out and gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. "I'll see you when you come to LA."

Faith nodded. She hated saying the word 'goodbye' to anyone she cared about and Angel was one of those she'd come to learn to love, to open up to, over the years. It'd take time before she could open up to Buffy that way, but she knew one day she would because she loved her and she didn't want to keep everything about herself from Buffy. It was one thing about her that a lot of people that had come in and out of her life either didn't understand or didn't bother to care about.

As she watched the sunrise a short while later, she started to think about what had happened between her and Nadine. It bothered her to no end. She had no idea why Nadine was playing a game with her and everyone else. Sure Nadine had told her it was for her own entertainment and she could understand why, but that wasn't the answer she wanted. She wasn't satisfied without knowing the real answer behind it all. Maybe Nadine was just truly evil and years of torture living the way she was with a soul she just gave up somewhere along the way and let the darkness take over.

The more she thought about it, the more she realized how she could have ended up if she didn't constantly fight within herself, against herself and for herself. There was no way she'd ever let herself become what Nadine had been. And for a moment, she almost felt a small twinge of pity that Nadine had never known what true love was like, that she had never known how strong true love really was.

Things were going to be interesting from here on out, Faith knew that much and she was definitely looking forward to what was in store for her and Buffy along with everyone else. She knew that even though for now, they'd defeated their own self-destruction, it'd come back one way or another one day.


	22. Chapter 22

This is it. I felt the story had run its course. Last time I write a story without an outline...at some points it actually killed me *not literally of course* Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed, I appreciate it and I love to entertain you guys as much as I love to entertain myself :)

* * *

(Six months later)

Every day they were in a new place, a new town with strange faces and the unknown always there, always lingering. Faith couldn't remember a single point in time in her whole life when she'd felt so free, so happy, so in love. Every morning she woke up in Buffy's arms and as had become a ritual for her, she'd pinch herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming. This morning was no different and she woke to find Buffy lying on her side, staring at her with a smile on her face.

They'd been through a lot in the last six months together with nothing between them and the open road. No distractions, no interruptions, just the two of them. It took Faith a couple of weeks and a couple of towns, before she finally told Buffy what really happened in those four years she'd distanced herself from everyone and pretty much had disappeared. Faith only told her vague details, the places she went and the people she associated herself with, always worrying how Buffy would react to the stories she would tell her.

There'd been a small town in Mexico, Faith still couldn't remember the name, but it had been one place she kept going back to year after year. There'd been several men and women there she did things with she'd rather forget. It had made her feel the darkness and she had embraced it then, losing control of herself in the process. She couldn't tell Buffy everything, she didn't want to. It was easier just to let go and forget the things she'd done. Buffy never did press her for more, never questioned her. It was in the past and they were going to only move forward instead of backwards.

It was a new thing they were both trying. And it was working. Faith was happy. Buffy was happy and they were happy together. It seemed almost too unreal to really be real. Yet, every day, the little things, the little moments always proved to them that what they had together, what they'd gotten over and what they would become, was as real as each day that would come and go.

"Morning, B."

"Sleep well?"

"Mm-hmm. Always do."

Buffy reached over and gently pinched her bare stomach, smirking as Faith reached over and pinched her back. "Thought I'd beat you to it today. Sometimes I don't understand you or the things you do, Faith."

Faith sat up in the motel room bed slowly, stretching as she glanced over at the clock. "What's the date today, B?"

"The fifteenth."

"I should call Andrea. Haven't talked to her for almost a week."

"Call her later," Buffy whispered as she pulled Faith back down on the bed. "I believe you owe me from last night."

"I owe you?"

"You fell asleep on me!"

"Jeez, B. Sorry about that. Been driving for fourteen hours and couldn't seem to keep my eyes open long enough while my girl was going to town on me," Faith chuckled as she pulled the covers over their head as she pulled Buffy on top of her.

"Whose bloody brilliant idea was it for you to be the only one to get your license and be the only one to ride the Harley while I hang on for my life?"

"Giles."

"I'm going to kill him," Buffy muttered under her breath, struggling to keep a straight face and failed. "Still, I can't believe you just passed out on me like that. No warning, nothing."

"Tell me how I can make it up to you, baby. Anything you want and I'll do it for you...or should that be to you?" Faith asked as she lightly ran her fingers up and down Buffy's spine, loving how she would shudder every time under the soft touch. "I was thinking we'd stick around here until the afternoon and then just ride off into the sunset. Let the road lead us onwards and see where we end up by the time night turns to day."

"I kind of..." Buffy trailed off as her lips were captured by Faith's in a deep, passionate kiss.

"Kind of what?" Faith asked breathlessly as she pulled the covers off of them a little. "B?"

"I kind of wanted to go home. I miss everyone and talking to them on the phone every couple of days just doesn't seem to be enough for me."

"Then we'll go home, B. No big. We'll do whatever you want to do," Faith smiled as she lightly kissed her.

"But..."

"But? Why is there always a but?" Faith laughed as Buffy poked her playfully in the ribs. "And why do you always poke me in the same spot? There are other places I like to be poked you know."

"I kind of like this, just traveling with you from place to place without a care in the world. I've never felt like this before. I've never felt so free."

"Makes two of us. So what do you wanna do then?"

Buffy sighed out softly as she trailed her fingers over Faith's stomach, stopping as she reached her hips. "I don't know, but I do know what I want to do right now."

"What's that?" Faith asked and a smirk crept over her lips as Buffy rolled her eyes. "Come on, B. Six months of this and you should know by now how I am. And another thing, B? I do know how horny you get in the morning. I like seeing you squirm."

"I'm sure you do," Buffy laughed as she leaned up and kissed her deeply, letting it last only long enough to drive Faith a little crazy with want, with need and with lust and love before she pulled back.

Faith didn't say a word, only moaning softly as she pulled Buffy in closer to her and kissed her back, hard. Every time they were together, every time they fucked, made love or just kissed, it always felt like the first time. She loved the feeling of getting lost completely in Buffy, it made her forget the memories of life before it became good, before it felt carefree. Since they'd left Scotland, neither of them had brought up Nadine or anything else that had happened in the past.

It didn't matter. None of it did. All that mattered was the two of them, right then and there.

"It's always going to be like this you know," Buffy whispered, her fingertips continuing to dance over Faith's stomach lightly.

"Always like what?"

"Like it's the first time every time."

"You do know that if we go back home we'll never be alone, we'll be constantly interrupted by nosy, annoying little sisters and..."

Buffy stopped her, kissing her deeply as she rolled them over, misjudging the distance from the edge of the bed. They both laughed as they crashed to the floor, yet they didn't move as they just lay there staring into each other's eyes. Though Buffy said not a word, her eyes said everything she felt and everything she wanted to say. Their lips met again in a soft, sensual kiss as Faith tried to get them both back up on the bed.

"Fuck," she groaned as she laid Buffy down. "Next time you wanna take control, B. Do us both a favour and look which way you..."

"Shut up, Faith."

"We could have seriously gotten hurt you know!"

"How?"

"Uh..."

Buffy laughed as she ran her fingers over Faith's brow. "Uh what? See, nothing to worry about. Now where were we?"

"Well...we were talking," Faith grinned as she began gently thrusting her pelvic bone into Buffy's. "You were thinking how hot I get you just by a look."

"Mm-hmm."

"And uh..."

"Shut up," Buffy growled playfully as she gripped onto Faith's hips, her nails nearly digging into the skin as she slowed down Faith's thrusts. "How much longer do we have the room for?"

"Check-out is at eleven."

"Plenty of time for..."

Faith laughed as she cut Buffy off, kissing her with such intensity it made them both see stars. They ignored the motel manager pounding on the door when it got closer to check-out and they ignored the buzzing of both their phones as they lay tangled in the cheap, cotton sheets. This was one of those moments when the world fell away from them and the only thing they saw and felt and heard was each other. It was one of those moments they became so lost in one another that nothing else seemed to break through the barriers they put up.

****

The ride back to Cleveland would take almost an entire day without stopping. They'd done it before, barely, and Faith paced around in front of the Harley as she waited for Buffy to come out of the small butcher shop. She was absolutely starving and having gone a couple of days so far without was starting to affect her. She stopped pacing when she saw Buffy walk out the door, a brown paper bag in her hand and a big smile on her face.

"What is it this time, B?"

"A mix," she replied as she held the bag out to her. "The guy wasn't weird about it either. I swear the whole 'it's for a project' never fails to go without unwanted questioning."

"Well, we're all set then," Faith smiled as she climbed onto the bike. "Ready, B? Got a long ride ahead of us and I already called Giles to let him know we're on our way back."

"Uh oh," Buffy frowned as she climbed on the bike behind her and wrapped her arms around her waist. "I know that look, Faith. What happened? What did he say?"

"Nothing major," she shrugged as she turned to look at her. "Just that they are moving the headquarters from Scotland to Cleveland."

"What! Why?"

"Cos apparently, things around the hellmouth has been a hell of a lot more active than it was the last time we were there. Giles didn't explain much and told us he'd fill us in as soon as we got back."

"That means our semi-retirement is going to be over as soon as we get back," Buffy sighed as she leaned her head against Faith's shoulder. "Maybe it was a bad idea to want to go home now."

"Nah. We would have had to go back eventually, B. Now hold on. We're gonna stop just outside of town and have ourselves a nice little picnic. There's a lake and everything. Thought we'd have one last moment alone before we walk back into complete chaos."

Buffy held on tight as Faith rode them out of the small town and down the winding roads that lead them through to the north. Never once in the last six months had they used a map, nor did they seem to care just where they ended up. For Faith, she relied on instinct and a sense of adventure to lead them wherever they would go and today was no exception. She knew the way home, she could feel it in her bones and it was like a beacon, shining brightly off in the distance telling her which way to go.

Two hours outside of the small town she took a right down a dirt road, slowing the bike down enough not to kick up too much of the loose dirt and gravel. Buffy relaxed her hold around her waist and sighed as the small lake came into view. It was peaceful, deserted and a sense of calm came over them as soon as the bike came to a stop. Faith sat there and watched as Buffy walked down to the edge of the water and sat down on the rocks.

Faith was always in awe, always captivated by the raw beauty of the woman she loved. She'd spent so many lost hours just staring at her, watching her, drinking in her essence that was so full of life and yet, she could faintly taste the darkness that surrounded her, that surrounded both of them. Always waiting, always watching, just like she was. In some ways, Faith felt like the last six months had been too easy, too carefree. They were running from themselves, from everything and now that they were going home, it was all coming back to her.

The feelings, the memories, the threats, Nadine...everything.

"Faith, aren't you coming?" Buffy called out as she turned to look at her.

"Be there in a sec, B."

Faith climbed off the bike and ran her hands through her wind-teased hair. She slipped the keys into the front pocket of her jeans and walked down the shallow hill towards the rock Buffy sat on. Careful not to slip as she walked over and sat next to her, she smiled as Buffy instantly leaned over and kissed her lightly.

"I'm going to miss days like this."

"Just cos we're going home doesn't mean we can't still have days like this, B."

"I know," she pouted as she ran her fingers over Faith's thigh lightly. "It's not going to happen very often though."

"So we'll just have to make moments like this last then go fight whatever big bad comes our way. You and me, B, we can deal with whatever comes, however it comes and still make time to be alone together."

"You sound so sure, but I can feel you aren't. Talk to me, baby. Tell me what's bothering you."

"Everything."

"I thought we were trying a new thing, forgetting the past and moving only forwards?"

"Kind of hard to forget completely, you know? For some reason I can't stop thinking about that fucking bitch. She nearly ruined our lives and look what she did to Will, to you. I wanted to make her suffer, Buffy and now I can't cos she's gone."

"Nadine might have played a game with all of us, Faith, but she didn't take away what matters most."

Faith nodded as she opened the paper bag and handed Buffy one of the containers. "We still have to deal with Christopher and Laurence. Who knows where the fuck they are and what they are planning to do."

"Don't worry about it right now, baby. Don't let it ruin our moment out here together. You were doing so good since we started out on this road trip. Why are you letting it all come back to you now?" Buffy asked, sighing when Faith only shrugged and wouldn't answer her. "We'll get them. I promise you. We'll find them and destroy them like Will destroyed Nadine. They won't ruin our lives or play any of their sick mind games with any of us or anyone else ever again."

They didn't talk after that. They only drank in silence as they watched the water ripple as the small waves hit the rock they sat on. As soon as they were finished, Faith stood up and peeled off her clothes, smirking back at Buffy before she dove into the cool water. It was only spring, yet it was rather warm. The cold and the heat didn't bother either of them anymore. It was sort of a blessing and a curse all at once.

"Coming in, B?"

"How's the water?"

"Feels good," Faith smiled as she swam towards the rock and playfully splashed a handful of water at her. "Don't tell me you are suddenly shy at skinny dipping during the middle of the day. Never stopped you before and besides, there's not another soul around here to ogle your goodies. The only ogling is gonna be from me."

"Another time," Buffy said with a shy smile as she leaned back on the rock and stared down at Faith. "Kind of wanted to get going soon and I know if I get in there with you, soon is going to become later."

"You are complaining why?"

"You know why. We got a long ride ahead of us."

"Half an hour, B. Come on. When is the next time we gonna have time like this to ourselves?"

Buffy laughed as she stood up and quickly stripped out of her clothes and joined Faith in the water. "You were right."

"About what?"

"About the water feeling good," she smiled as she let Faith wrap her arms around her. "And about everything else."

"I'm gonna miss this," Faith whispered as she stared deeply into Buffy's eyes. "Going back to responsibility and all that shit is gonna be hard, you know?"

"It won't be that hard. We'll have everyone there to help out. It won't be like before."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Just a feeling," Buffy shrugged. "I'm going to miss this too, Faith. Just living without a care in the world, going from place to place, blending into the background, taking it easy, and just being with you."

"We'll have to tone down the PDA too," Faith chuckled as she leaned in to kiss her, stopping just as their lips met. "I got a bad ass image to keep."

"I know the truth. You are so far from being a bad ass it isn't even funny," Buffy laughed as she pulled her in and kissed her gently. "You've shown me a side to you in the last couple of months I never imagined could be there. I love who you are when it's just you and me, Faith."

Faith smiled at her, her heart overflowing with every emotion she felt for Buffy; love, lust, happiness and everything in between. Buffy made her feel so many things that in that past she never believed she'd ever be able to feel that way and be the type of person she was now. She knew if she looked at herself now by the person she used to be, she wouldn't believe that this was one and the same. Love had changed her. Love had kept her from falling over the edge of self-destruction. For now.

The last six months had been almost life-changing. For both of them. They learned to live as themselves, as humans, harbouring the slayer and the vampire inside of them only when they had no other choice. They learned to keep it separate, slaying when they came across a couple of stray vampires, drinking only when the thirst was too much to handle, to control. They'd found a flow to keep life as stable and as normal as they could manage. The feeling that going back to be with everyone else would ruin it made Faith feel a little too nervous, a little scared and more than a little worried.

But she couldn't be scared or worried. She wasn't in this alone. She had Buffy and Buffy had her, it was all that mattered and a few short hours, a swim and a drink later, they climbed on the Harley and rode. It wasn't their ending, not yet, but they were happy, in love and no longer feared the things that would come; they embraced them, looked forward to whatever their lives would throw their way next.

The End


End file.
